Confession #601
I hate you. I've hated you since about two months after we got married the first time. You are sadistic, perverted and just an awful man. So now, eleven years later, I am just keeping my mouth shut and trying to get through until the kids are old enough that if we get divorced I won't have to leave them alone with you. After we got divorced, I only got back together with you so that I wouldn't have to send the kids 1000 miles away to stay with you and your crazy fucking mother. And I only married you again so that the kids and I would have health insurance. I have done awful things to you in retaliation for the way that you treat me and in the hope that you will finally just leave me and the kids (it's not like you even care about them or are ever nice to them).
But I know that you never will. It makes me sick how you are so needy and say that you love me so much and can't live without me. If you love me so much, why do you push me around and choke me? How can you think that slapping me and hurting me and pissing on me during sex is LOVE?
Mostly I hate myself for staying with you. But I'm trapped. I can't leave the kids alone with you. And the court doesn't care that you are a fucking pornography-addicted, control freak- you'd still get visitation.
You alternate between being a whiny little bitch who wants to hold my hand and "cuddle" and says that I am so cold and unaffectionate and the classic abusive husband. The whole household walks on eggshells around you.
I hate it that I spend so much time doing every little thing that you need that it makes me resent the kids needing me to do stuff. I hate it that I am so wound up from your bullshit that I snap at them for stupid reasons.
I hate it that I have to do everything in the house in addition to working full time. I hate it that you won't do a single goddamn thing for yourself but complain about the way that I do things. When your single job at home was mowing the lawn, you never did it. The grass was knee-fucking-high. This summer, while I'm doing it, you're bitching that I don't use the weed-eater enough.
I wish almost every day that you would die. And if there were a way that I could kill you and not get caught I would do it. In a heartbeat.
So enjoy your remaining few years of having me to control and humiliate and wait on you hand and foot. Because as soon as our youngest is old enough, I am so so gone.
Oh and by the way, you are a fat ass and not nearly as funny as you think you are.
Confession #602
When I met you, I immediately recognized you as a wonderful man. I knew you would be a great husband and father and I couldn't let that go so I married you and over the years you have proven that I was right. But I'm so very far from being attracted to you and our sex is so polite, orchestrated and the same every single time. I make myself have sex with you because I know you expect it and that you're extremely attracted to me and not because I actually want you. My ex-boyfriends used to say I was the best and wildest sex they'd ever had and now I find myself encouraging you to work night shifts because I'd rather use my vibrator than have sex with you. I miss my libido. I know I'm cheating us both out of a passionate marriage, but I really do love you and I know you love the children and me. I could never cheat on you or leave you because I know it would destroy our little family, but sometimes I find myself thinking that something could happen to you on the job and I'd be free to be me again.
Confession #603
You are the love of my life, but nothing sends me into a silent rage faster
than when you decide to watch porn while we are in the middle of foreplay or
sex and have to waste five minutes finding a scene on the DVD or the
videotape. My problem isn't with the porn, it is with the time and it is
with watching you go soft while you find the "right" scene. If you want porn
on while we do it, please cue the damn scene up beforehand and have it
waiting. Watching you search for a scene makes me feel like a prop and makes
me wish I hadn't spent all the time beforehand getting both of us warmed up.
And watching you switch tapes or discs makes me wonder if I should just get
up and get dressed.
If you want the porn on, ask before we get started, or just turn it on as we
get started. Don't ask me and then act like you are only suggesting it for
my benefit. Because unless you already have the scene waiting to go, it is
NOT going to do anything to get me going. I've told you this many times, and
each time you act like it is new information and wonder why I am so cranky
about it. You know which scenes I like, this isn't rocket science or
alchemy.
While I'm at it, you can either complain that I never initiate anything, or
when I do, you can ask why I'm in the mood. You can't do both. If you don't
complain, you can ask me what got me so wet before we came to bed. If you do
complain, don't question why I want it, just slide it in and be grateful.
Confession #604
We've been together for 7 years now and I really want a baby. I know you
said it's not the right time and you don't know when it will be, but I
can't help the way I feel. Sometimes I think about going off my birth
control and not telling you and than letting you think its just one of
those crazy flukes. But I could never be that deceitful to you.
Confession #605
you told me that it will never work because I will never change...Who are you kidding? You were lucky to have me....You, me, and everyone else knows that you are an asshole from hell who has put me through more BS than any human should have to endure at the hands of a "lover". But you know what? You're almost right, I do need to change....The first change will be permantly removing you from my life....thank you for giving me my lightbulb moment....and PS: I really really hope the charge you got for assaulting me sticks, cause maybe you didn't deserve it that night, but there were plenty of nights you did and you deserve to have that one on your record so everyone will know what an ass you really are.
Confession #606
When I married you, I was in love with someone else. I married you because I liked you and believed you were an upstanding man. I didn't allow myself to think about whether I would ever love you as a should. I was correct about your character to an even greater degree than anticipated. I am in love with you now and have been for some time. I know our marriage is not perfect, but most of the time I feel that it is close. I am sorry about the beginning. I could not help the way I felt. Thank you for choosing me in spite of what I suspect you knew.
Confession #607
You are truly a selfish asshole. Just can't seem to give up that need to be a bachelor, can you? I have put up with your drinking. With you being so far gone on whatever drug that I found you in the basement, crouched behind the boiler like a frightened cat. With your staying out all night long, without so much as a phone call. A DUI. Your memberships at Yahoo Personals and some fucked up sex personal site. But I'm the one that is the problem, right? Now, I am pregnant with your child. And I thought you had changed. And last night, you went to the store at 6PM. And came home drunk at 3AM. Who is she? I know...It must suck to have to look at me pregnant. Go to hell. Ladies out there...They don't change.
Confession #608
A part of me believes that you got sick on purpose because you didn't want to have kids.
Confession #609
This weekend I am not going to go to my moms to spend time with family....I am going to be with the man I was in love with since I was 12 and lost contact with for 8 years! I have thought about him everyday, even though we have a wonderful life and child together. I need to be with him.
I am sorry.
Confession #610
I hate your family. I hate your brother. I hate your cousins. I hate your uncle. Most of all I hate your mother. She is rude, selfish, ungrateful and she smells. I hate taking our son over to her house because he always comes out smelling like musty smokey b.o. Just like your mother. I hate when you drive her places in my car because I can smell her when I get in.
I hate that your brother only visits her three times a year, and when he does he might get around to doing 1 small chore for her and even though you are constantly going over there to do real chores for her, she goes on and on and on about how wonderful your brother was to mow the back lawn. What about the weekend before when you put a new roof on her house? I don't even think she said thank you.
I hate that you think she is the most wonderful woman in the world. I hate that we have given her thousands of dollars to "help her out" over the last few years and that even though you went to the bank with her to straighten everything out, she's fucked up her finances again.
I hate that when her car died last year, she made you (she refused to let me, because she didn't want to inconvenience me) drive her to work, while I waited for the tow truck by the side of the road and then had to pay for it myself (remember that? I was 8 months pregnant).
I hate that when we go over to her house for family dinners, she treats your brother's girlfriend and I like shit, while she treats your brother like a King and you like a Prince. Remember last Christmas? When she gave everyone else (including herself) dessert, and "accidentally" forgot to give me a plate? And there was no dessert left? So I had to sit there while you animals eloped down your dessert, pretending that it was alright. By the way, obviously your mother didn't teach you boys any manners, you're supposed to wait until everyone has a plate before you start eating.
Speaking of what your mother never taught you boys growing up (and I WILL blame it on your mother, because both you and your brother are guilty of all these things), you have NO table manners, you lick your plate and your knife when you are done eating, you don't shower daily (you are a grown man with a wife, child and PROFESSIONAL DESIGNATION, get up ten minutes earlier and TAKE A GODDMAMN SHOWER every morning), you don't shave every day, you wait until your hair is long and shaggy and scraggily looking before you will go for your $10 (cheap ass) haircut. You will wear the same clothes day after day and you never even offer to help with the laundry. You never help with the dishes, the vacuuming, the sweeping, cleaning the toilets, nothing. You don't brush your teeth before you go to bed, and you don't brush your teeth when you wake up, you wait until 2 minutes before you leave for work. That's disgusting. And I blame all of that on your mother because your brother is the SAME WAY.
Despite all that bullshit, I still love you and think you are a good husband and father. (But you make me so mad sometimes!)
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
True Wife Confessions 60 Seconds:Minute
Confession #591
You know, you were right. I DID go to college so that I could support myself and our children if/WHEN it came time to leave your ass. I'll never admit it to your face, though. Now that college is over and I'm making three times more money than you, I don't want to leave you. I saw how supportive you could actually be during the most stressful time in my life. You raised the kids those three years. Thanks.
Confession #592
I'm afraid for you, and for our family. The war has been hard on you - too many IED attacks, too many injuries and death, too much blood and loss. You're starting to write to me about things that sound like a psychotic break - cameras and microphones in the walls, people always watching you... I'm really afraid that when you get back from this war, you'll be a different person than when you left. We were struggling to stay together before all of that. What will happen with all of this, on top of it? How can I stay if you go back to being as scary to live with as you were before - or worse? But how can I leave if this is just the aftermath of being a solder at war, when I promised to love and support you for better or worse? We've had enough 'worse,' and I need some 'better,' but you're starting to sound a little psychotic. How much can our son and I take?
Confession #593
About a month after we started dating I had sex with a married man that I've known for four years, and I'm so glad I did. Having sex with him was what made me realize how much I wanted to be with you and only you. I love you. You're my heart.
Confession #594
I love you dearly, but playing "good time dad" to that greedy, thankless boy truly diminishes my respect for you. He's so good at dangling that carrot of possibly moving here over your head and you fall for it every time. Face it, he's playing both ends against the middle and you need to stop playing along. You're not helping grow into a respectable man, you're teaching him how to manipulate and use people.
Confession #595
Just because my parents are wealthier than yours doesn't give you the right to assume that you could ask my dad for money every time we need to do something to the house. Go ask your lowlife parents instead. One of the biggest reasons I don't want my dad to reach into his pockets is b/c I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with you. I also just want you to taste the shame in not being able to provide and do the right thing for us. The fact that you had the audacity to lie to your cousins and lead them to believe that you bought me my car makes me want to puke. I'm glad I found out and set the record straight. Now you look like even a bigger ass. You like to walk around like your shit doesn't stink but you're not fooling anyone. Stop playin' yourself. You think you could talk to me the way you do and then go to my father for help? And to even talk to me like that in front of him? You've got balls the size of Montana. And a prick as small as a hamsters. And one day I will let you truly know that. I used to fake every orgasm just to get you off of me. Now, fuck it -- you will know that you are a total failure. I have lost so much respect for you, I don't even care if you cheat on me. At least it would give me a good reason to just leave your pompous ass and to never forgive you. I hate how disrespectful you've become. Not just to me but to this family. Every time you ignore our child I just want to kill you--violently. I love my child more than my own life, but I regret that it was with you. With every fiber of my being. If it wasn't for him, I would've left you a long time ago. The fact that you just got caught whacking off in front of this computer after we fought makes me sick to my stomach. You've added years of stress to my face and to my well-being. I will lose all this weight and work on myself real hard, because someday I plan to take MY child and leave you for good. You don't deserve us. Scumbag.
Confession #596
Last night you told me that I should lose 20 lbs.
I will lose weight when you grow some hair.
Confession #597
I know you say you are allergic to any kind of detergent except Tide and that we MUST purchase Tide. However, what you don't know is that I'’ve been using the same Tide bottle for months and months and refilling it with the store brand.
Amazingly, you haven'’t had any rash or itch whatsoever. So weird.
Confession #598
If you hadn't come into my life when you did I am 100% positive that I would be dead by now. Thank you for giving me my life back, for giving me myself back.
Confession #599
I really want to trust you, but your own actions are making it difficult.And because I still have such doubts and fears, I'm still keeping score. I know where you hid your pills and I know every single day how many are there.People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. The fact that you feel the need to hide them says it all.
Confession #600
Sometimes the crap that comes out your mouth scares the hell out of me when I realize that you are "helping"” raise our daughters. If you can't stop spewing such ugliness I will take them away from you. I refuse to let them grow up around such hatred.
You know, you were right. I DID go to college so that I could support myself and our children if/WHEN it came time to leave your ass. I'll never admit it to your face, though. Now that college is over and I'm making three times more money than you, I don't want to leave you. I saw how supportive you could actually be during the most stressful time in my life. You raised the kids those three years. Thanks.
Confession #592
I'm afraid for you, and for our family. The war has been hard on you - too many IED attacks, too many injuries and death, too much blood and loss. You're starting to write to me about things that sound like a psychotic break - cameras and microphones in the walls, people always watching you... I'm really afraid that when you get back from this war, you'll be a different person than when you left. We were struggling to stay together before all of that. What will happen with all of this, on top of it? How can I stay if you go back to being as scary to live with as you were before - or worse? But how can I leave if this is just the aftermath of being a solder at war, when I promised to love and support you for better or worse? We've had enough 'worse,' and I need some 'better,' but you're starting to sound a little psychotic. How much can our son and I take?
Confession #593
About a month after we started dating I had sex with a married man that I've known for four years, and I'm so glad I did. Having sex with him was what made me realize how much I wanted to be with you and only you. I love you. You're my heart.
Confession #594
I love you dearly, but playing "good time dad" to that greedy, thankless boy truly diminishes my respect for you. He's so good at dangling that carrot of possibly moving here over your head and you fall for it every time. Face it, he's playing both ends against the middle and you need to stop playing along. You're not helping grow into a respectable man, you're teaching him how to manipulate and use people.
Confession #595
Just because my parents are wealthier than yours doesn't give you the right to assume that you could ask my dad for money every time we need to do something to the house. Go ask your lowlife parents instead. One of the biggest reasons I don't want my dad to reach into his pockets is b/c I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with you. I also just want you to taste the shame in not being able to provide and do the right thing for us. The fact that you had the audacity to lie to your cousins and lead them to believe that you bought me my car makes me want to puke. I'm glad I found out and set the record straight. Now you look like even a bigger ass. You like to walk around like your shit doesn't stink but you're not fooling anyone. Stop playin' yourself. You think you could talk to me the way you do and then go to my father for help? And to even talk to me like that in front of him? You've got balls the size of Montana. And a prick as small as a hamsters. And one day I will let you truly know that. I used to fake every orgasm just to get you off of me. Now, fuck it -- you will know that you are a total failure. I have lost so much respect for you, I don't even care if you cheat on me. At least it would give me a good reason to just leave your pompous ass and to never forgive you. I hate how disrespectful you've become. Not just to me but to this family. Every time you ignore our child I just want to kill you--violently. I love my child more than my own life, but I regret that it was with you. With every fiber of my being. If it wasn't for him, I would've left you a long time ago. The fact that you just got caught whacking off in front of this computer after we fought makes me sick to my stomach. You've added years of stress to my face and to my well-being. I will lose all this weight and work on myself real hard, because someday I plan to take MY child and leave you for good. You don't deserve us. Scumbag.
Confession #596
Last night you told me that I should lose 20 lbs.
I will lose weight when you grow some hair.
Confession #597
I know you say you are allergic to any kind of detergent except Tide and that we MUST purchase Tide. However, what you don't know is that I'’ve been using the same Tide bottle for months and months and refilling it with the store brand.
Amazingly, you haven'’t had any rash or itch whatsoever. So weird.
Confession #598
If you hadn't come into my life when you did I am 100% positive that I would be dead by now. Thank you for giving me my life back, for giving me myself back.
Confession #599
I really want to trust you, but your own actions are making it difficult.And because I still have such doubts and fears, I'm still keeping score. I know where you hid your pills and I know every single day how many are there.People with nothing to hide, hide nothing. The fact that you feel the need to hide them says it all.
Confession #600
Sometimes the crap that comes out your mouth scares the hell out of me when I realize that you are "helping"” raise our daughters. If you can't stop spewing such ugliness I will take them away from you. I refuse to let them grow up around such hatred.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
True Wife Confessions Opus 59 ( Beethoven)
Confession #581
I knew about your secretly planned wedding. I’d bought the dress two months before you told me. Come on, do you really believe that I could find the perfect dress in less than a month? I had it hidden in the back of my closet.
Confession #582
I can’t tell you how many decisions I have let you believe you made yourself. I plant the idea and wait for it to sprout.
Confession #583
When you tell people that you did more work in childbirth than I did, it makes me want to punch you in the face. It isn’t even cute. Yes, I had morphine and was groggy. But I felt every damn thing. I promise you.
Confession #584
When you are away on a business trip, I sleep on your pillows so I can smell you. It helps me sleep.
Confession #585
When I had my wisdom teeth out and you took care of me? True love. Same with when I tore up my knee and you changed all the dressings. That stuff just melts me. Cause you know how much I like to be able to take care of myself, but you don’t let me.
Confession #586
I have let our daughter wake you up when you are hungover. I consider it a parental penance.
Confession #587
Just admit that you have no mechanical skills. Please. It will save us all lots of time and energy. You can’t fix a thing to save your life. Write a grant? Yes. Fix the car? Hell, no.
Confession #588
I find the cigar smoking sexy. And the port drinking. It makes you smell great.
Confession #589
Your daughter tells me the things you tell her not to tell me. There are no secrets with our child. I know about throwing the apple out the car window...and many other things.
Confession #590
I tell my girlfriends everything. Even the stuff you tell me NOT to tell them, I do. They’re my girlfriends. Sometimes we laugh at you and the other husbands. We can’t help it.
I knew about your secretly planned wedding. I’d bought the dress two months before you told me. Come on, do you really believe that I could find the perfect dress in less than a month? I had it hidden in the back of my closet.
Confession #582
I can’t tell you how many decisions I have let you believe you made yourself. I plant the idea and wait for it to sprout.
Confession #583
When you tell people that you did more work in childbirth than I did, it makes me want to punch you in the face. It isn’t even cute. Yes, I had morphine and was groggy. But I felt every damn thing. I promise you.
Confession #584
When you are away on a business trip, I sleep on your pillows so I can smell you. It helps me sleep.
Confession #585
When I had my wisdom teeth out and you took care of me? True love. Same with when I tore up my knee and you changed all the dressings. That stuff just melts me. Cause you know how much I like to be able to take care of myself, but you don’t let me.
Confession #586
I have let our daughter wake you up when you are hungover. I consider it a parental penance.
Confession #587
Just admit that you have no mechanical skills. Please. It will save us all lots of time and energy. You can’t fix a thing to save your life. Write a grant? Yes. Fix the car? Hell, no.
Confession #588
I find the cigar smoking sexy. And the port drinking. It makes you smell great.
Confession #589
Your daughter tells me the things you tell her not to tell me. There are no secrets with our child. I know about throwing the apple out the car window...and many other things.
Confession #590
I tell my girlfriends everything. Even the stuff you tell me NOT to tell them, I do. They’re my girlfriends. Sometimes we laugh at you and the other husbands. We can’t help it.
Monday, August 28, 2006
We now interrupt this regularly scheduled TWC for this just in
I just published this on I'm Doing the Best I Can. I rarely editorialize on TWC, but this hit a real nerve in me.
*************************************************************************************
"Truth Hurts People"
This was a comment sent in by an anonymous reader of TWC.
I felt like I'd been slapped when it came into my inbox.
My breathing shortened. My face got red. I felt like a little girl who had just been caught doing something that she had been warned against doing. The same feeling when you told a secret about your family...and realize that it was never meant to be shared or even acknowledged as happening.
Next came my anger at feeling shamed. Who was this person to tell me that I was hurting people? That "Truth" hurts people? Who the fuck were they to pass this judgment?
AS I sat here, feeling enraged, feeling shamed, feeling guilty for something I had done, I had created, it occurred to me.
These are the feelings of a survivor of sexual abuse. One who talks.
I am one of those women. My perp? My biological father. I was ten. He was not the first, as I was quite the favorite of many of my older male cousins ... until I learned that yelling for my mother at the top of my lungs seemed to keep them away. He was not the only abusive man in the family, for my uncles perpetrated against my other female cousins, I later learned.
He was, however, the least expected. My father. The man I adored. The one that I wanted to please beyond all reason. He was the one to sexually assault me. In my house. After my parents had separated.
My mother, thinking she had left this man, and that the damage he could do to my brother and I was minimized never dreamed that he would come for a Christmas visit and bring this sort of catastrophe.
And like almost all young children who experience this, I kept quiet. I had nightmares. I wouldn't be in the same room alone with him during summer visitations. My signals got crossed. The man who was supposed to love and protect me was my abuser.
This became a distinctive pattern as I aged and began to date. I loved the emotionally distant ones. The more they resisted me, ignored me, emotionally abused me? Like candy. When one got me pregnant and emotionally and physically abandoned me? He became the penultimate love of my life. I would have abandoned my education for this man. I would have had this baby at age 20. To please him. To have him choose me. To give me anything, anything at all. My sacrifice was proof of my love, my worthiness of his love, but still he never chose me.
The first time I talked of my abuse was in my therapy sessions. Trying to figure out where my irrational anger and impulsively as coming from as I whirled in crazier and crazier circles, my therapist finally asked me point blank.
And I told her the truth.
And she cried.
To sit in front of your therapist and detail in a flat demeanor the horrors of your childhood, ,and to have her cry as she told me that none of this was my fault? It was honestly the first time that it may have occurred to me the enormity of the impact that this had on my life path. I was not crying. She was. How could I not cry when it had happened to me, and she was weeping simply hearing my dialogue?
Next I told my mother, and she cried and raged and vowed to kill this man. But I did not cry. I had lived with it for nearly nine years. I had hidden and distorted my truth for so long, it no longer resembled anything but a story for me. An experience, much like falling from your bike and scraping your knee. Or being brought into a drug house so your father can use you as a shield in front of his buyer? Or the time your father shot your dogs one winter because they were barking? Or that time he shot the glass out in the car as your mother drove away from the house when you were five? Or the time that he threatened to kill Santa, and took his gun out to the back yard to prove to you that he was serious? Or the time that you were nine and he taught you how to smoke a bong? Or that time when you were ten and he sexually assaulted you on New Years Eve?
You mean everyone doesn't have these stories?
So, "Truth hurts people" commenter, I respectfully disagree. Truth doesn't hurt people, secrets hurt people. The secrets we keep from our loved ones to spare them pain. The secrets we keep from ourselves. The secrets we keep for fear that we won't be liked, or loved, or admired. Maybe the truths expressed at TWC are the first time someone is saying their truth out loud. You don't have to like it. Hell, you don't have to read it, and you don't even have to agree that there should be a place like this to express yourself.
But keep the shaming to yourself. This is what keeps abused people silent. And I, for one, won't shut up to please you.
*************************************************************************************
"Truth Hurts People"
This was a comment sent in by an anonymous reader of TWC.
I felt like I'd been slapped when it came into my inbox.
My breathing shortened. My face got red. I felt like a little girl who had just been caught doing something that she had been warned against doing. The same feeling when you told a secret about your family...and realize that it was never meant to be shared or even acknowledged as happening.
Next came my anger at feeling shamed. Who was this person to tell me that I was hurting people? That "Truth" hurts people? Who the fuck were they to pass this judgment?
AS I sat here, feeling enraged, feeling shamed, feeling guilty for something I had done, I had created, it occurred to me.
These are the feelings of a survivor of sexual abuse. One who talks.
I am one of those women. My perp? My biological father. I was ten. He was not the first, as I was quite the favorite of many of my older male cousins ... until I learned that yelling for my mother at the top of my lungs seemed to keep them away. He was not the only abusive man in the family, for my uncles perpetrated against my other female cousins, I later learned.
He was, however, the least expected. My father. The man I adored. The one that I wanted to please beyond all reason. He was the one to sexually assault me. In my house. After my parents had separated.
My mother, thinking she had left this man, and that the damage he could do to my brother and I was minimized never dreamed that he would come for a Christmas visit and bring this sort of catastrophe.
And like almost all young children who experience this, I kept quiet. I had nightmares. I wouldn't be in the same room alone with him during summer visitations. My signals got crossed. The man who was supposed to love and protect me was my abuser.
This became a distinctive pattern as I aged and began to date. I loved the emotionally distant ones. The more they resisted me, ignored me, emotionally abused me? Like candy. When one got me pregnant and emotionally and physically abandoned me? He became the penultimate love of my life. I would have abandoned my education for this man. I would have had this baby at age 20. To please him. To have him choose me. To give me anything, anything at all. My sacrifice was proof of my love, my worthiness of his love, but still he never chose me.
The first time I talked of my abuse was in my therapy sessions. Trying to figure out where my irrational anger and impulsively as coming from as I whirled in crazier and crazier circles, my therapist finally asked me point blank.
And I told her the truth.
And she cried.
To sit in front of your therapist and detail in a flat demeanor the horrors of your childhood, ,and to have her cry as she told me that none of this was my fault? It was honestly the first time that it may have occurred to me the enormity of the impact that this had on my life path. I was not crying. She was. How could I not cry when it had happened to me, and she was weeping simply hearing my dialogue?
Next I told my mother, and she cried and raged and vowed to kill this man. But I did not cry. I had lived with it for nearly nine years. I had hidden and distorted my truth for so long, it no longer resembled anything but a story for me. An experience, much like falling from your bike and scraping your knee. Or being brought into a drug house so your father can use you as a shield in front of his buyer? Or the time your father shot your dogs one winter because they were barking? Or that time he shot the glass out in the car as your mother drove away from the house when you were five? Or the time that he threatened to kill Santa, and took his gun out to the back yard to prove to you that he was serious? Or the time that you were nine and he taught you how to smoke a bong? Or that time when you were ten and he sexually assaulted you on New Years Eve?
You mean everyone doesn't have these stories?
So, "Truth hurts people" commenter, I respectfully disagree. Truth doesn't hurt people, secrets hurt people. The secrets we keep from our loved ones to spare them pain. The secrets we keep from ourselves. The secrets we keep for fear that we won't be liked, or loved, or admired. Maybe the truths expressed at TWC are the first time someone is saying their truth out loud. You don't have to like it. Hell, you don't have to read it, and you don't even have to agree that there should be a place like this to express yourself.
But keep the shaming to yourself. This is what keeps abused people silent. And I, for one, won't shut up to please you.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
True Wife Confessions 58 cents, the lesser known, less successful brother of 50 cent
Confession #571
You make me laugh and you let me wear the "pants". For that I'll never leave you.
You treat our daughter and son like the priceless gems that they are. For that I'll love you forever.
It needed to be said.
Confession #572
I don't think you realize how close I was to leaving you this year. My unhappiness with what we have was all consuming, and I went and found a man from my past who made me feel sexy and gorgeous. While I never physically slept with him, I wanted to. I almost did. Until I asked him to choose me, and he couldn't. I was willing to give up our family, our life together for him.
So I come back to you and I realize that you do choose me. You always have. You decided that I was the wife you wanted and you stay. You support me, you encourage me, you humor me. You allow me the space and time and silence to do all the things I need to do, for my happiness is important to you. Our marriage may not be the most romantic thing, but it is solid, and real. You choose Me, and you always have. That realization has helped me fall in love with you again.
Confession #573
I plan on getting a tattoo by the time I am 40. With or without your permission.
Confession #574
I have hidden good snacks from you. I do feel a little badly, but damn, you eat them all before I can have any.
Confession #575
I'm sorry....
I'm sorry for the way I had to say good bye.
but; face it, you are married & we both have kids.
I was SOHO happy seeing you again, my whole world lit up! I think about you
everyday!
it's just too bad you are too far away! There were things that I haven't
felt in soo long. I wish they never ended.
my other half has no idea that I still feel like this. Although I wish I
could tell him, what I don't feel much for him anymore.
you are my best friend. I love you! I wish you were here again!
oh did I mention that you are GREAT in BED?! Don't get me wrong I still
love my baby's father, but...
I would do it again if I had to.
P.S.
Oh did I mention I was with another WOMAN! I'm sorry honey! She did things
to me that u couldn't .. At the time..
Confession #576
Raising your voice to me only pisses me off. And telling me to "Shut up"? Oh, it's on, motherfucker. Sadly, you never learn.
Confession #577
Jessica and I knew we were late for our wedding rehearsal. We had been shoe shopping and didn'’t want to get in trouble. We turned the clock back in her car and her watch so it would seem like we weren't late, only running on sadly incorrect time. You bought it.
Confession #578
The reason I get so uptight about her clothes is because of the teasing I endured as a child. I know, I know. I'm an adult. But that is one thing that she will never have to put up with. Put the Wal-mart coat back, and drive me to LL Bean.
Confession #579
I have occasionally cried to get my own way. It works about 50% of the time. We have a child now because of it.
Confession #580
I am still a little shocked that you actually went through with the Vasectomy. I figured if I saw your bluff and said you could have one, that you wouldn'’t really have it done.
You make me laugh and you let me wear the "pants". For that I'll never leave you.
You treat our daughter and son like the priceless gems that they are. For that I'll love you forever.
It needed to be said.
Confession #572
I don't think you realize how close I was to leaving you this year. My unhappiness with what we have was all consuming, and I went and found a man from my past who made me feel sexy and gorgeous. While I never physically slept with him, I wanted to. I almost did. Until I asked him to choose me, and he couldn't. I was willing to give up our family, our life together for him.
So I come back to you and I realize that you do choose me. You always have. You decided that I was the wife you wanted and you stay. You support me, you encourage me, you humor me. You allow me the space and time and silence to do all the things I need to do, for my happiness is important to you. Our marriage may not be the most romantic thing, but it is solid, and real. You choose Me, and you always have. That realization has helped me fall in love with you again.
Confession #573
I plan on getting a tattoo by the time I am 40. With or without your permission.
Confession #574
I have hidden good snacks from you. I do feel a little badly, but damn, you eat them all before I can have any.
Confession #575
I'm sorry....
I'm sorry for the way I had to say good bye.
but; face it, you are married & we both have kids.
I was SOHO happy seeing you again, my whole world lit up! I think about you
everyday!
it's just too bad you are too far away! There were things that I haven't
felt in soo long. I wish they never ended.
my other half has no idea that I still feel like this. Although I wish I
could tell him, what I don't feel much for him anymore.
you are my best friend. I love you! I wish you were here again!
oh did I mention that you are GREAT in BED?! Don't get me wrong I still
love my baby's father, but...
I would do it again if I had to.
P.S.
Oh did I mention I was with another WOMAN! I'm sorry honey! She did things
to me that u couldn't .. At the time..
Confession #576
Raising your voice to me only pisses me off. And telling me to "Shut up"? Oh, it's on, motherfucker. Sadly, you never learn.
Confession #577
Jessica and I knew we were late for our wedding rehearsal. We had been shoe shopping and didn'’t want to get in trouble. We turned the clock back in her car and her watch so it would seem like we weren't late, only running on sadly incorrect time. You bought it.
Confession #578
The reason I get so uptight about her clothes is because of the teasing I endured as a child. I know, I know. I'm an adult. But that is one thing that she will never have to put up with. Put the Wal-mart coat back, and drive me to LL Bean.
Confession #579
I have occasionally cried to get my own way. It works about 50% of the time. We have a child now because of it.
Confession #580
I am still a little shocked that you actually went through with the Vasectomy. I figured if I saw your bluff and said you could have one, that you wouldn'’t really have it done.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
True Wife Confessions 57th Overlanders Brigade (Rent Firefly, people)
Confession #561
Because you're overweight and refuse to do a damn thing about it, I have been buying fat free cheese and fat free sandwich meats for your lunches. I put the cheese in the regular wrapper that I saved from the last batch of regular cheese that we used up, so that you think it's the usual stuff we buy. You have not noticed the difference in taste, like you always say you would. Odds are it's not enough to make you lose that much weight, but I do enjoy knowing you're eating something you claim to hate so much.
Confession #562
When my daughter told me last night that school starts at 7:55 and ends at 3:15.... Why the hell did you jump all over her and telling her that her ass will be getting on the bus every morning because gas is 3.00 a gal........BUT yet you can run here there and everywhere without a care in the world of how much fucking gas is. You are a FUCKING ASSHOLE for talking to her that way. How can I still love you so much ?
Confession #563
You are away from home working all week long. That leaves me alone way too much. Then you come home and drink your beer all weekend. Saying that it is your pain killer. Your pain killer for what? For me? Am I that difficult to be around? Are your two children that adore you so much too much pain for you?
It kills me that you cannot be around your family without having to drink. It makes me want you not to even come home.
Confession #564
You are a shitty father and everyone knows it. It'’s not a slip of the tongue when I refer to him as "“my son." I mean it. He is mine. I'’m the only one who has ever cared for him. Changed his diapers, taken him for walks, bathed him, fed him and everything else it take to care for a small child. "Babysitting" him for me on the very few occasions I do have to work a few hours on the weekend does not make you super dad. A real babysitter would have done it better. A real babysitter would have actually changed his diapers.
I hate you because of how you have treated me for four years. Thankfully I was smart enough NOT to marry you when I found out I was pregnant. Thankfully I have found the strength within me to leave your lazy, ignorant, low class, fat, trashy ass. How stupid was I to get with you in the first place. At least I have MY beautiful amazing son out of the deal.
My biggest regret is that I can't keep you daughter from you too since you had her with that whore before me. She should be MINE too. I do everything to care for her too. Neither one of you deserve her!
Confession #565
You think I gave up smoking. For the most part, I have. But every once in a while, when you're out of town, or I go away for a night to visit friends, I enjoy a cigarette or two. Don't worry-I have never lit up within 10 miles of our kid. But I do love that feeling of doing something you can't stand, and you not having a clue about it. The urge to do it more often is so great, but I stop myself for fear of being caught.
I didn't wash your work shirts because you didn't put them in the laundry basket. Instead you opted to leave them piled up on the floor next to your side of the bed. Yes, I saw them there-but I thought you could use a refresher lesson on putting the clothes INTO the basket when you want them washed.
Confession #566
I have secretly been taking college courses (you know when you thought I was working late). I will finish my BA this semester. When it is finished, I will leave you. What a great graduation present to myself! And you always thought I was too stupid to graduate from college. Well I am going to, and with a much higher GPA than you had. And I did it while working full time, raising a child, taking care of the house, and keeping it all from you. And you think that you are better than me? I don't think so.
Confession #567
There are days when you drive me crazy, days when you leave me totally in awe of you, days I'm sure I've pushed you to the limit, days I couldn't imagine not having you next me, and everyday I am glad we chose each other. No matter the echoes you hear of us on this page the truth of it is, the difference for us is that I will never give up on you, on us, I never want to leave and I am always proud to have you lead our family. I am proud of the man you have become, and so in love with you. The beauty of echoes is that they give you a moment to reflect and then they fade away. As long as we learn from our reflections I promise we will be better than okay. You are the father I dreamed my children would have. And our daughter is so lucky to have you, and I will make sure she always knows that. So ask me if I wrote this one, it's the confession you deserve. I love you
Confession #568
I cheated on my Husband, not once. but twice. Twice where I had my emotions on the line too. The first was an absolute con job. He came into my life with the distinct goal of not only getting sex, but also getting me involved in some kind of head game that he may have actually believed himself. Who knows, a PSYCHO. I could write a book on him.
Then came the revenge sex. This second affair was never discovered and I never confided in anyone. This one fell in love with me. It was hard to get rid of this stalker.
Affair three. He too pursued me, but this time I was wiser. I definitely sent signals back. I fell and fell hard. We were the talk of the city. No joke. I didn't care. He left a wife with young kids for the passion with me. Affairs, at best, last 18 months. We were right on schedule. I still hate that he broke off with me first. How? He cheated.
Affair 4. The revenge screw. By now you see I am a loose screw. This affair has never been divulged until this day.
I pray every day for forgiveness. Husband discovered number 1 with written proof- back before such a thing as computers. Emotional affair two was discovered because I was blatant. I also admitted it.
Why publish such a seedy confession? Because of this.
I love my husband. I think his love came back after Affair 1. The other affair killed us, Almost. Now we have lots of good sex, and I hope through prayer and deed that he will put me back on that pedestal.
He is a good man as you can see. However, he is not a doormat. I think it is amazing that he too believed so strongly in the marriage covenant, that I was not divorced. I know he more than considered it. I know he sought legal counsel.
Do not give up marriage. It is horrible for family, kids. Marriage is indeed a covenant. I know I have no room to talk, but my marriage means more to me than my kids.
I work every day to show him that I love him. He works harder than I. Last night I had our 2 dogs for a walk in torrid heat. He had worked all day. He came home while I was on my walk. I had not expected him until much later in the evening. He met me in the yard with fresh squeezed Lemonade and took the leashes from me. He also had finished ironing his shirts. I had left the last 2 shirts out because I had not expected him home.
I think his love is coming back. I think he can trust me again in his heart. I do not have to work at remembering what I say because I tell the truth. I give extra blowjobs and I hate blowjobs, always have. Now I swallow.
I hope this isn't too long. I am extremely afraid to e-mail this. But, I haven't seen a confession that advocates Forgiving through such a scenario as I put My Husband through.
And I was with the OTHER Man ON any occasion I could find (the emotional affairs.) Birthdays, Fathers Day, Christmas Eve. It didn't matter to me.
I was evil. I pray hard. Every day, many times per day.
Forgive your man. Some of us take a long time to grow up. Too long. Thank the Lord that I have a Real Man, my wonderful husband.
I love him. A pure love.
Confession #569
I really resent you for never letting me do anything with my friends, or even letting me have friends. I lost so many friends because of you not letting me go out and do things with them, but I would never tell them the truth I would always blame the kids for being sick or something, and in reality it was you who wouldn't let me do a damn thing ever. I hate you for that. I am a person too, and deserve to do fun things in life also.
I was secretively happy and over joyed when I found out you were having an affair on me. I was so happy that I could finally get out of a marriage that was not what I expected or deserved. I know now after counseling that I am a great person and deserve awesome things in life! I really want to thank your whore for taking you away form your family, I am so glad to be rid of you, me and the boys have so much fun and are enjoying life now because you are gone!!! You having an affair was the best thing for us, I got the courage to divorce you and be a free woman and get to do the stuff I want to, and actually go to school and do stuff, I also have friends now who actually care about me. Its so wonderful. I also have the best boyfriend in the whole world now he loves your boys to death and would do anything for them, he is what a dad should be unlike your immature dumb ass who would rather go out and party than spend any kind of time with your family. He love us, and takes care of us in ways you never did, the boys are obsessed with him, and get sad when he hangs out with us, and you have the boys, I have to convince them to go stay at your house every weekend you have them. They would rather stay with me and E because he actually cares for them.
It was also true Karma when you had to get your testicle removed! You aren't a man in any shape or form and having to have your nut removed was like the best revenge ever!!! I couldn't have picked a revenge any better than that! You one nut looser!!!
Confession #570
I resent the fact that you volunteered me to watch your sister's kid (in addition to our own) while she started her new job. In case you haven't noticed, the kid is a royal pain in the ass. I went along with it because I love your sister. However, this does not give you the right to be mad when you have no clean clothes for work, or when dinner is not made when you get home. YOU stay home with the brat and our child for a day-you won't make it to lunch, honey. So close your mouth and load the damn washer yourself.
If we didn't have a child, I would probably drink myself into a stupor most nights. I love you and everything, but sometimes you drive me up a wall. I like the giddy feeling I get when I drink...you're easier to tolerate after a few...I even think you're kinda funny.
Because you're overweight and refuse to do a damn thing about it, I have been buying fat free cheese and fat free sandwich meats for your lunches. I put the cheese in the regular wrapper that I saved from the last batch of regular cheese that we used up, so that you think it's the usual stuff we buy. You have not noticed the difference in taste, like you always say you would. Odds are it's not enough to make you lose that much weight, but I do enjoy knowing you're eating something you claim to hate so much.
Confession #562
When my daughter told me last night that school starts at 7:55 and ends at 3:15.... Why the hell did you jump all over her and telling her that her ass will be getting on the bus every morning because gas is 3.00 a gal........BUT yet you can run here there and everywhere without a care in the world of how much fucking gas is. You are a FUCKING ASSHOLE for talking to her that way. How can I still love you so much ?
Confession #563
You are away from home working all week long. That leaves me alone way too much. Then you come home and drink your beer all weekend. Saying that it is your pain killer. Your pain killer for what? For me? Am I that difficult to be around? Are your two children that adore you so much too much pain for you?
It kills me that you cannot be around your family without having to drink. It makes me want you not to even come home.
Confession #564
You are a shitty father and everyone knows it. It'’s not a slip of the tongue when I refer to him as "“my son." I mean it. He is mine. I'’m the only one who has ever cared for him. Changed his diapers, taken him for walks, bathed him, fed him and everything else it take to care for a small child. "Babysitting" him for me on the very few occasions I do have to work a few hours on the weekend does not make you super dad. A real babysitter would have done it better. A real babysitter would have actually changed his diapers.
I hate you because of how you have treated me for four years. Thankfully I was smart enough NOT to marry you when I found out I was pregnant. Thankfully I have found the strength within me to leave your lazy, ignorant, low class, fat, trashy ass. How stupid was I to get with you in the first place. At least I have MY beautiful amazing son out of the deal.
My biggest regret is that I can't keep you daughter from you too since you had her with that whore before me. She should be MINE too. I do everything to care for her too. Neither one of you deserve her!
Confession #565
You think I gave up smoking. For the most part, I have. But every once in a while, when you're out of town, or I go away for a night to visit friends, I enjoy a cigarette or two. Don't worry-I have never lit up within 10 miles of our kid. But I do love that feeling of doing something you can't stand, and you not having a clue about it. The urge to do it more often is so great, but I stop myself for fear of being caught.
I didn't wash your work shirts because you didn't put them in the laundry basket. Instead you opted to leave them piled up on the floor next to your side of the bed. Yes, I saw them there-but I thought you could use a refresher lesson on putting the clothes INTO the basket when you want them washed.
Confession #566
I have secretly been taking college courses (you know when you thought I was working late). I will finish my BA this semester. When it is finished, I will leave you. What a great graduation present to myself! And you always thought I was too stupid to graduate from college. Well I am going to, and with a much higher GPA than you had. And I did it while working full time, raising a child, taking care of the house, and keeping it all from you. And you think that you are better than me? I don't think so.
Confession #567
There are days when you drive me crazy, days when you leave me totally in awe of you, days I'm sure I've pushed you to the limit, days I couldn't imagine not having you next me, and everyday I am glad we chose each other. No matter the echoes you hear of us on this page the truth of it is, the difference for us is that I will never give up on you, on us, I never want to leave and I am always proud to have you lead our family. I am proud of the man you have become, and so in love with you. The beauty of echoes is that they give you a moment to reflect and then they fade away. As long as we learn from our reflections I promise we will be better than okay. You are the father I dreamed my children would have. And our daughter is so lucky to have you, and I will make sure she always knows that. So ask me if I wrote this one, it's the confession you deserve. I love you
Confession #568
I cheated on my Husband, not once. but twice. Twice where I had my emotions on the line too. The first was an absolute con job. He came into my life with the distinct goal of not only getting sex, but also getting me involved in some kind of head game that he may have actually believed himself. Who knows, a PSYCHO. I could write a book on him.
Then came the revenge sex. This second affair was never discovered and I never confided in anyone. This one fell in love with me. It was hard to get rid of this stalker.
Affair three. He too pursued me, but this time I was wiser. I definitely sent signals back. I fell and fell hard. We were the talk of the city. No joke. I didn't care. He left a wife with young kids for the passion with me. Affairs, at best, last 18 months. We were right on schedule. I still hate that he broke off with me first. How? He cheated.
Affair 4. The revenge screw. By now you see I am a loose screw. This affair has never been divulged until this day.
I pray every day for forgiveness. Husband discovered number 1 with written proof- back before such a thing as computers. Emotional affair two was discovered because I was blatant. I also admitted it.
Why publish such a seedy confession? Because of this.
I love my husband. I think his love came back after Affair 1. The other affair killed us, Almost. Now we have lots of good sex, and I hope through prayer and deed that he will put me back on that pedestal.
He is a good man as you can see. However, he is not a doormat. I think it is amazing that he too believed so strongly in the marriage covenant, that I was not divorced. I know he more than considered it. I know he sought legal counsel.
Do not give up marriage. It is horrible for family, kids. Marriage is indeed a covenant. I know I have no room to talk, but my marriage means more to me than my kids.
I work every day to show him that I love him. He works harder than I. Last night I had our 2 dogs for a walk in torrid heat. He had worked all day. He came home while I was on my walk. I had not expected him until much later in the evening. He met me in the yard with fresh squeezed Lemonade and took the leashes from me. He also had finished ironing his shirts. I had left the last 2 shirts out because I had not expected him home.
I think his love is coming back. I think he can trust me again in his heart. I do not have to work at remembering what I say because I tell the truth. I give extra blowjobs and I hate blowjobs, always have. Now I swallow.
I hope this isn't too long. I am extremely afraid to e-mail this. But, I haven't seen a confession that advocates Forgiving through such a scenario as I put My Husband through.
And I was with the OTHER Man ON any occasion I could find (the emotional affairs.) Birthdays, Fathers Day, Christmas Eve. It didn't matter to me.
I was evil. I pray hard. Every day, many times per day.
Forgive your man. Some of us take a long time to grow up. Too long. Thank the Lord that I have a Real Man, my wonderful husband.
I love him. A pure love.
Confession #569
I really resent you for never letting me do anything with my friends, or even letting me have friends. I lost so many friends because of you not letting me go out and do things with them, but I would never tell them the truth I would always blame the kids for being sick or something, and in reality it was you who wouldn't let me do a damn thing ever. I hate you for that. I am a person too, and deserve to do fun things in life also.
I was secretively happy and over joyed when I found out you were having an affair on me. I was so happy that I could finally get out of a marriage that was not what I expected or deserved. I know now after counseling that I am a great person and deserve awesome things in life! I really want to thank your whore for taking you away form your family, I am so glad to be rid of you, me and the boys have so much fun and are enjoying life now because you are gone!!! You having an affair was the best thing for us, I got the courage to divorce you and be a free woman and get to do the stuff I want to, and actually go to school and do stuff, I also have friends now who actually care about me. Its so wonderful. I also have the best boyfriend in the whole world now he loves your boys to death and would do anything for them, he is what a dad should be unlike your immature dumb ass who would rather go out and party than spend any kind of time with your family. He love us, and takes care of us in ways you never did, the boys are obsessed with him, and get sad when he hangs out with us, and you have the boys, I have to convince them to go stay at your house every weekend you have them. They would rather stay with me and E because he actually cares for them.
It was also true Karma when you had to get your testicle removed! You aren't a man in any shape or form and having to have your nut removed was like the best revenge ever!!! I couldn't have picked a revenge any better than that! You one nut looser!!!
Confession #570
I resent the fact that you volunteered me to watch your sister's kid (in addition to our own) while she started her new job. In case you haven't noticed, the kid is a royal pain in the ass. I went along with it because I love your sister. However, this does not give you the right to be mad when you have no clean clothes for work, or when dinner is not made when you get home. YOU stay home with the brat and our child for a day-you won't make it to lunch, honey. So close your mouth and load the damn washer yourself.
If we didn't have a child, I would probably drink myself into a stupor most nights. I love you and everything, but sometimes you drive me up a wall. I like the giddy feeling I get when I drink...you're easier to tolerate after a few...I even think you're kinda funny.
Friday, August 25, 2006
True Wife Confessions Department 56 ( which creeps me out more than you can know)
Confession #551
I don't think I can make it 322 more days without you. Please come home now. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid if I'm left alone much longer.
Confession #552
Even though we are on the same team, one of these days I am going to stop playing this game. Your business partner is toxic to our life. He is destroying your business, our marriage and even our children. If you don't do something to change this I am taking the girls and leaving you. I refuse to sit and watch this happen for very much longer. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone but I love our daughters more.
Confession #553
I am jealous of that out-of-state ex-girlfriend who talks to you all the time on your computer and sends you text messages over the phone. I know she's depressed and needs a shoulder to lean on, but I also I know she isn't over you. The only reason I never say anything to you about her is that I am still good friends with several men I used to date, some of whom live in town, and you never act jealous at all around me when I talk to them. I really appreciate that.
Confession #554
Our marriage license is not your license to pick your nose in front of me. We have only been married for a few years. Can't you at least try to pretend that you still want to impress me?
Confession #555
You know what bothers me even more than the fact that you don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night? The fact that even though I've told you, repeatedly, that it turns me off when you try to kiss me with breath that still smells like the dinner we had three hours ago, you STILL don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night. Telling me that your half-assed thirty seconds once a day brushing program is actually an improvement over the dental hygiene habits you practiced before you met me does not make me find your bad breath any sexier. And stop whining already about how many cavities you get. You wouldn't get so many cavities if you brushed your teeth twice a day, fool.
Confession #556
I am really starting to resent that you never help me with the girls. I work just as hard as you during the day, I have just as much stress as you and yet on top of working 48 hours a week at a day job I am expected to do everything with our children. If I had known it was going to be this bad I might not have agreed to having children. Can't you just turn the damn TV off for one hour and put them to bed. Being a parent means putting your child'’s needs before your own. WAKE UP before it's too late.
Confession #557
You want to know why I roll my eyes every evening when you say you've got to go 'potty', as you put it? First off, I'm not two years old...you can tell me you're going to take a dump, a crap, or 'going to the men's room'. Whatever. Secondly, you take longer to shit than any man I've ever known. Yes, I know you have a book in there that you're reading...but honestly, it is THAT interesting that you'll spend on hour pushing? I know women who have given birth to babies in less time it takes you to take a dump. I get annoyed because while you're in there reading and crapping, I'm trying to calm our child down-our child, who has not seen you all day and wants nothing more than to play with her father...except that he can't get off the shitter. Lastly, you have a problem...it's called Irritable Bowel. You get the urge to run and take a dump NO MATTER WHAT you eat. I could feel you dry bread and water, and you'd be jumping up and running into the bathroom...what is up with that? Go see a damn doctor!
Confession #558
That married man whose blog I read who I talk to all the time on the internet? The one whose marriage is in trouble? I really do just talk shop with him about parenting-related stuff most of the time. He did sort of hit on me, hesitantly, once. But I told him to go hit on his wife instead. I would never cheat on you. Not even virtually.
Confession #559
I hate your daughter! There...I said it! I think you know it, too. But it was so nice to finally, after 11 years, tell me that you don't understand why she treats me so bad b/c atleast you see me trying to be nice to her and do the right thing. Finally, instead of making it all my fault. Finally, instead of saying "you're the adult, she's a child" b/c she is NOT a child anymore and hasn't been for a while. Finally, instead of thinking if you acknowledge my feelings you are encouraging me to hate her more. Finally, you confirm what I already knew. She hates me more!
Thank you for saying out loud that nothing I do is good enough for her & she is wrong to hold a grudge against me. Thank you for acknowledging that she only pretends to care about our children, her half siblings. Thank you for admitting she is in the wrong and doesn't give a crap about any of us, not even you.
WOW....I guess I'm not crazy and was right all along. I'm sorry for you that your daughter acts & feels that way. You deserve better and I deserve that you are finally admitting it.
Confession #560
Well, I've had some time to really think about what I want to say to you. And what could I possibly say that would make anything be different? Nothing.
Just, nothing. This situation is not one I can fix. Not now, not ever.
So, just a few choice points:
1. I'm glad you are sorry. I hope that works out for you, really I do. Sorry is a wonderful thing- for the person who has something to be sorry about. Even though you're sorry, I'm still alone and screwed over and hurt and all of those wonderful things. Sorry doesn't do shit for me. It never will. So, OK. Be sorry. Be sorry as much as you want. I really don't care.
2. I don't care if you think you are doing the "right" thing. You are no martyr. What you deem the "right" thing has still hurt me. End of story. Is hurting me the right thing to do? Is it really? Then your version of right is totally fucked up.
3. We aren't friends. We will never be friends. We have never been friends. I TOLD you from the very beginning there is no middle with me. I either love you or I hate you for hurting me. What made you think you would be the exception? None of the people I call my friends would ever hurt me as much as you have been able to hurt me so far. Get that idea out of your head right now. Bury it, do whatever you have to do. I will not sit here and torture myself by attempting to be "just friends". Damn you for thinking we could ever be friends.
God. Just - god. I feel like an idiot. For thinking that I ever mattered to you for one. For ever believing in you in the first place. For thinking that you could possibly be capable of looking out for my interests when all you really cared about was making sure that you didn't have to take any risks for anyone, ever. You waited until I trusted you completely, then you kicked me in the face.
And therein lays the deepest cut of all.
I get to live the rest of my life thinking I wasn't worth it in the end. I wasn't worth the trouble, the risk, the time, I was worth nothing. Do you have any idea how that feels? Do you have a concept of the amount of damage you have done? I don't think you do. This isn't fixable. To think you are justified in screwing with me in this manner is totally unforgivable. I will not forgive you for this- not soon, if ever. ACTIONS matter. Not words. You can flatter me all you want, you can say whatever your brain comes up with, but the bottom line is that your actions did not line up with any of it.
So I'm left here, alone, to think about all of this. To wonder why. To figure out what in the hell I ever did to you to deserve any of this.
In my best interest, leave me alone. Don't call me. Don't write to me, just go away. Hang out with your wife, figure out what you want, just leave me out of it. I'm done.
I don't think I can make it 322 more days without you. Please come home now. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid if I'm left alone much longer.
Confession #552
Even though we are on the same team, one of these days I am going to stop playing this game. Your business partner is toxic to our life. He is destroying your business, our marriage and even our children. If you don't do something to change this I am taking the girls and leaving you. I refuse to sit and watch this happen for very much longer. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone but I love our daughters more.
Confession #553
I am jealous of that out-of-state ex-girlfriend who talks to you all the time on your computer and sends you text messages over the phone. I know she's depressed and needs a shoulder to lean on, but I also I know she isn't over you. The only reason I never say anything to you about her is that I am still good friends with several men I used to date, some of whom live in town, and you never act jealous at all around me when I talk to them. I really appreciate that.
Confession #554
Our marriage license is not your license to pick your nose in front of me. We have only been married for a few years. Can't you at least try to pretend that you still want to impress me?
Confession #555
You know what bothers me even more than the fact that you don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night? The fact that even though I've told you, repeatedly, that it turns me off when you try to kiss me with breath that still smells like the dinner we had three hours ago, you STILL don't brush your teeth before you come to bed at night. Telling me that your half-assed thirty seconds once a day brushing program is actually an improvement over the dental hygiene habits you practiced before you met me does not make me find your bad breath any sexier. And stop whining already about how many cavities you get. You wouldn't get so many cavities if you brushed your teeth twice a day, fool.
Confession #556
I am really starting to resent that you never help me with the girls. I work just as hard as you during the day, I have just as much stress as you and yet on top of working 48 hours a week at a day job I am expected to do everything with our children. If I had known it was going to be this bad I might not have agreed to having children. Can't you just turn the damn TV off for one hour and put them to bed. Being a parent means putting your child'’s needs before your own. WAKE UP before it's too late.
Confession #557
You want to know why I roll my eyes every evening when you say you've got to go 'potty', as you put it? First off, I'm not two years old...you can tell me you're going to take a dump, a crap, or 'going to the men's room'. Whatever. Secondly, you take longer to shit than any man I've ever known. Yes, I know you have a book in there that you're reading...but honestly, it is THAT interesting that you'll spend on hour pushing? I know women who have given birth to babies in less time it takes you to take a dump. I get annoyed because while you're in there reading and crapping, I'm trying to calm our child down-our child, who has not seen you all day and wants nothing more than to play with her father...except that he can't get off the shitter. Lastly, you have a problem...it's called Irritable Bowel. You get the urge to run and take a dump NO MATTER WHAT you eat. I could feel you dry bread and water, and you'd be jumping up and running into the bathroom...what is up with that? Go see a damn doctor!
Confession #558
That married man whose blog I read who I talk to all the time on the internet? The one whose marriage is in trouble? I really do just talk shop with him about parenting-related stuff most of the time. He did sort of hit on me, hesitantly, once. But I told him to go hit on his wife instead. I would never cheat on you. Not even virtually.
Confession #559
I hate your daughter! There...I said it! I think you know it, too. But it was so nice to finally, after 11 years, tell me that you don't understand why she treats me so bad b/c atleast you see me trying to be nice to her and do the right thing. Finally, instead of making it all my fault. Finally, instead of saying "you're the adult, she's a child" b/c she is NOT a child anymore and hasn't been for a while. Finally, instead of thinking if you acknowledge my feelings you are encouraging me to hate her more. Finally, you confirm what I already knew. She hates me more!
Thank you for saying out loud that nothing I do is good enough for her & she is wrong to hold a grudge against me. Thank you for acknowledging that she only pretends to care about our children, her half siblings. Thank you for admitting she is in the wrong and doesn't give a crap about any of us, not even you.
WOW....I guess I'm not crazy and was right all along. I'm sorry for you that your daughter acts & feels that way. You deserve better and I deserve that you are finally admitting it.
Confession #560
Well, I've had some time to really think about what I want to say to you. And what could I possibly say that would make anything be different? Nothing.
Just, nothing. This situation is not one I can fix. Not now, not ever.
So, just a few choice points:
1. I'm glad you are sorry. I hope that works out for you, really I do. Sorry is a wonderful thing- for the person who has something to be sorry about. Even though you're sorry, I'm still alone and screwed over and hurt and all of those wonderful things. Sorry doesn't do shit for me. It never will. So, OK. Be sorry. Be sorry as much as you want. I really don't care.
2. I don't care if you think you are doing the "right" thing. You are no martyr. What you deem the "right" thing has still hurt me. End of story. Is hurting me the right thing to do? Is it really? Then your version of right is totally fucked up.
3. We aren't friends. We will never be friends. We have never been friends. I TOLD you from the very beginning there is no middle with me. I either love you or I hate you for hurting me. What made you think you would be the exception? None of the people I call my friends would ever hurt me as much as you have been able to hurt me so far. Get that idea out of your head right now. Bury it, do whatever you have to do. I will not sit here and torture myself by attempting to be "just friends". Damn you for thinking we could ever be friends.
God. Just - god. I feel like an idiot. For thinking that I ever mattered to you for one. For ever believing in you in the first place. For thinking that you could possibly be capable of looking out for my interests when all you really cared about was making sure that you didn't have to take any risks for anyone, ever. You waited until I trusted you completely, then you kicked me in the face.
And therein lays the deepest cut of all.
I get to live the rest of my life thinking I wasn't worth it in the end. I wasn't worth the trouble, the risk, the time, I was worth nothing. Do you have any idea how that feels? Do you have a concept of the amount of damage you have done? I don't think you do. This isn't fixable. To think you are justified in screwing with me in this manner is totally unforgivable. I will not forgive you for this- not soon, if ever. ACTIONS matter. Not words. You can flatter me all you want, you can say whatever your brain comes up with, but the bottom line is that your actions did not line up with any of it.
So I'm left here, alone, to think about all of this. To wonder why. To figure out what in the hell I ever did to you to deserve any of this.
In my best interest, leave me alone. Don't call me. Don't write to me, just go away. Hang out with your wife, figure out what you want, just leave me out of it. I'm done.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
True Wife Confessions 55, which I still can't Drive, as evidenced by my weekend in bad driver school
Confession #541
I think living with your parents as an adult ruined you, and I was a fool to become your new mommy. I've become a nag, and I hate it.
Confession #542
I know you didn't want anymore kids, but I did. So I took it upon myself to get off birth control, without telling you, that's when I got pregnant again. Baby #2 wasn't a birth control accident, like I let you believe all these years, I planned it.
Confession #543
Honey, when is the last time you told me I was attractive or beautiful?
Yeah, I can't think of when either. And don't tell me 'oh but honey I *do*
think you're beautiful!' when you stare at porn practically every day.
I don't want to be your last resort. Either realize you've got a good, and
real thing or leave me to chase a fart in the wind.
Confession #544
I confess, I did it. That old ratty concert shirt that you had since high school (20 years ago)? The one with all the holes that is 2 sizes too small for you? It is not lost, I know exactly where it is. I threw it out while you were on your last business trip. At least I don't have to worry about you going out in public with it on and looking like a homeless person with really bad taste
Confession #545
Sometimes, I lay the blame on the kids for things when it's really my fault. I can't help it, it just pops out of my mouth before I think about it.
Confession #546
Don't think I haven't noticed that you manage to get sick/put your back out/have a reflux attack/have a migraine every time it's time for us to pack to move/clean out the garage/set up for your birthday party/help my parents with a big project.
Congratulations! I've finally stopped expecting any kind of help from you. You are now free to sit on your ever widening ass and watch me do everything. I hope you're proud of yourself you lazy asshole.
Confession #547
Honey I am stuck in such a bad depression and I don'’t know how to get out any longer. The only reason I am still alive is I don't trust you to raise our daughters.
I smoke so much because you eat so much.
Confession #548
I know things are stressful for us right now trying to balance our work, the children and the limited funds because of our recent move. I just wanted to tell you that I am really grateful for last night, that was probably the most amazing orgasm I have ever had. You are incredible!
Confession #549
You broke my heart into a thousand pieces when you chose her over me. You were so preoccupied with appearances, you selected a partner you thought would make the ideal wife instead of the one who would have made you happy. When I see you out I feel incredibly grateful it wasn't me who said "I do" because we'd have never made our first anniversary. When I do get married, it will be to someone who wants to be with me, not someone who uses their wife as a security blanket and a built-in baby-sitter so he can go out and hit on every single girl in the bar. Thank you for showing me that rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
Confession #550
Remember that time I stayed home from my night class, because it was a
long drive and I hadn't gotten to study all week anyway, because you'd
been too busy to take care of the baby? Remember how you promised you
would take care of the baby for those three hours that I should have
been in class (less time than you would have had to if I had gone to
class, since I wasn't including driving time!), so I could at least
spend that time studying, to catch up on that week and the next week's
lessons?
Remember how as soon as we agreed to that, and I sat down with my
books to study, you told me to watch the baby "for a minute" while you
took a hot shower, because you weren't feeling well? And then spent
45 minutes in the shower and went straight to bed because you still
felt rotten?
I was studying so I'd qualify for a job that would pay enough that you
could quit your shitty job. I still haven't forgiven you for pulling
that stunt. You should have taken care of our son for those three
hours, unless you were sick enough to go to the emergency room.
I think living with your parents as an adult ruined you, and I was a fool to become your new mommy. I've become a nag, and I hate it.
Confession #542
I know you didn't want anymore kids, but I did. So I took it upon myself to get off birth control, without telling you, that's when I got pregnant again. Baby #2 wasn't a birth control accident, like I let you believe all these years, I planned it.
Confession #543
Honey, when is the last time you told me I was attractive or beautiful?
Yeah, I can't think of when either. And don't tell me 'oh but honey I *do*
think you're beautiful!' when you stare at porn practically every day.
I don't want to be your last resort. Either realize you've got a good, and
real thing or leave me to chase a fart in the wind.
Confession #544
I confess, I did it. That old ratty concert shirt that you had since high school (20 years ago)? The one with all the holes that is 2 sizes too small for you? It is not lost, I know exactly where it is. I threw it out while you were on your last business trip. At least I don't have to worry about you going out in public with it on and looking like a homeless person with really bad taste
Confession #545
Sometimes, I lay the blame on the kids for things when it's really my fault. I can't help it, it just pops out of my mouth before I think about it.
Confession #546
Don't think I haven't noticed that you manage to get sick/put your back out/have a reflux attack/have a migraine every time it's time for us to pack to move/clean out the garage/set up for your birthday party/help my parents with a big project.
Congratulations! I've finally stopped expecting any kind of help from you. You are now free to sit on your ever widening ass and watch me do everything. I hope you're proud of yourself you lazy asshole.
Confession #547
Honey I am stuck in such a bad depression and I don'’t know how to get out any longer. The only reason I am still alive is I don't trust you to raise our daughters.
I smoke so much because you eat so much.
Confession #548
I know things are stressful for us right now trying to balance our work, the children and the limited funds because of our recent move. I just wanted to tell you that I am really grateful for last night, that was probably the most amazing orgasm I have ever had. You are incredible!
Confession #549
You broke my heart into a thousand pieces when you chose her over me. You were so preoccupied with appearances, you selected a partner you thought would make the ideal wife instead of the one who would have made you happy. When I see you out I feel incredibly grateful it wasn't me who said "I do" because we'd have never made our first anniversary. When I do get married, it will be to someone who wants to be with me, not someone who uses their wife as a security blanket and a built-in baby-sitter so he can go out and hit on every single girl in the bar. Thank you for showing me that rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
Confession #550
Remember that time I stayed home from my night class, because it was a
long drive and I hadn't gotten to study all week anyway, because you'd
been too busy to take care of the baby? Remember how you promised you
would take care of the baby for those three hours that I should have
been in class (less time than you would have had to if I had gone to
class, since I wasn't including driving time!), so I could at least
spend that time studying, to catch up on that week and the next week's
lessons?
Remember how as soon as we agreed to that, and I sat down with my
books to study, you told me to watch the baby "for a minute" while you
took a hot shower, because you weren't feeling well? And then spent
45 minutes in the shower and went straight to bed because you still
felt rotten?
I was studying so I'd qualify for a job that would pay enough that you
could quit your shitty job. I still haven't forgiven you for pulling
that stunt. You should have taken care of our son for those three
hours, unless you were sick enough to go to the emergency room.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
True Wife Confessions Studio 54
Confession #531
I hate you. I. Hate. You. I mean it, I am not just angry. You have fucked around on me so many times. And everytime I have tried to forgive you. I have tried to have a family with you. When you went to bootcamp, I waited, when you were deployed I waited, and every time I wait it seems there is someone else. Another nasty whore who will sleep with a married man. I raise your daughter with very little help from you. I sold some of her clothes before for formula and diapers when you would rather spend money on beer. No matter what you tell me I am a fucking awesome mother. I used to try to make you happy, I no longer give a damn. I only care about my baby and me. I am only with you until I can make money to support myself and my daughter. Soon, I will not have my heart shattered when I find a condom and a wad of $1 bills. I am numb to it now. Go ahead, tell me again I am fat and lazy, tell me again how stupid I am, tell me again how you don't care about me. GO AHEAD YOU FUCKING SMALL DICK FAGGOT!!!!!!!!! Go burn in hell motherfucker. I. Fucking. Hate. You.
Confession #532
Anal sex hurts. Sometimes for days afterward. I would never ask you to do
something physically painful for my sexual satisfaction. Stop asking and
stop making me feel guilty for not wanting to.
Confession #533
What is your idea of foreplay? It's certainly not mine....Why don't you have one of your ribs removed so that you can suck your own fucking dick if it's so damn tasty...You seem to think I should be doing it every time we have sex...In your mind it is the most enjoyable act for me on the planet. What about me????? No wonder I've turned into a Desperate Housewife --- wishing for someone else to give me the sex I've been dreaming about for 7 years.
Confession #534
I think I need a divorce. It's not that I don't care about you. I do. You definitely love me way more than I love you. Tonight you brought up the 25000 dollar home equity loan again and used it as an excuse for not having enough leverage to buy a piece of property and turn it over into big money...Like it was my fault or something that we couldn't do it. Yesterday you told me I was deaf and blind and had no common sense. What is wrong with this picture?
Confession #535
I read these confessions to remind myself how lucky I am. Yes, you do play your video games. Yes, you do love your football and hockey. I still don't get how you can be the smartest person I know and yet love wrestling and have the worst taste in music. However, I have never done a load of laundry since we've been married and every morning you walk my dog, even though you are not a dog person, so I can get more sleep before I go to work. I could not even begin listing all that you do for me, but those 2 things alone blow my mind. I am a lucky gal.
Confession #536
I hate your son. I really do. I know I told you that I could 'do this' when you proposed. You gave me every chance to get out before we got married. I said I could handle it. Sometimes I just can't. I know he has mental problems. Bad ones. But lots of times it's just an excuse to be a dumb-ass. I hate how you can bitch and bitch about him. But if I say anything and voice my frustration - then you immediately defend him and attack me.
I am dreading next week. He comes back from summer vacation with his worthless mother. I hate that he's coming back. That's why I'm depressed.
Two more years of school - then he's out. That's it.
And you KNOW that I will not consider having a child with you until he's gone. He will NEVER be around a child of mine. This makes me so sad - especially since I'm finally feeling like I want to have a baby. And I won't.
Confession #537
Sometimes for brief fleeting moment I forget that I am married to the
worlds biggest moron.
If the boys weren't so young, I'd have left years ago.
Confession #538
I often wish I'd never had a child. I know I'd be thrown to the lions if anyone ever heard me say that, but it's true. The few people I've said it to have gone all "oh but you'd miss him" on me. Well, of course I would miss him if he left tomorrow, but if I'd never had him at all, I wouldn't know what I was missing, would I? And if I'd never had him, I wouldn't be trapped in an abusive relationship that I thought I'd gotten out of. There is no "getting out" when you have a child together. The law makes sure of that. You're stuck with them forever. And I know it's wrong to blame that on a child, and I don't--I blame it on the fact I was ignorant enough to have a child in an abusive relationship. I also hate that my life will never be "mine" again. I hate that I will forever be worried about another person the way I worry about my child, and that I will spend the next several years worrying about whether or not I've fucked him up so badly that he will never have a normal life. I hate that I can never be the mother I wish I could be, and that he deserves. I just don't have it in me. I'm selfish and I have problems, and I should have realized my limitations and not given in to the pressure to procreate.
Confession #539
It was me who scratched the SUV !! I backed out of the drive way and hit the garbage can that YOU left setting there for over a week
Confession #540
To my ex-husband:
Confession 1: I lied when I told you that, because we live in different states, the child support payments had to go through the court. It was my decision. I chose to do it that way because I knew you wouldn't pay it if I didn't get it before you could spend it. You've proven me right this summer by changing jobs and not letting your new employer know "for a few months because you needed to catch up on a few bills."
Confession 2: I also lied when I told you that I would try to talk the county attorney out of go after you for the payments that you missed. While you were off "catching up on a few bills", which in your world apparently means buying a new truck and goodness knows what else, I was struggling to make ends meet while at the same time buying school supplies and paying school dues for this coming school year.
I hate you. I. Hate. You. I mean it, I am not just angry. You have fucked around on me so many times. And everytime I have tried to forgive you. I have tried to have a family with you. When you went to bootcamp, I waited, when you were deployed I waited, and every time I wait it seems there is someone else. Another nasty whore who will sleep with a married man. I raise your daughter with very little help from you. I sold some of her clothes before for formula and diapers when you would rather spend money on beer. No matter what you tell me I am a fucking awesome mother. I used to try to make you happy, I no longer give a damn. I only care about my baby and me. I am only with you until I can make money to support myself and my daughter. Soon, I will not have my heart shattered when I find a condom and a wad of $1 bills. I am numb to it now. Go ahead, tell me again I am fat and lazy, tell me again how stupid I am, tell me again how you don't care about me. GO AHEAD YOU FUCKING SMALL DICK FAGGOT!!!!!!!!! Go burn in hell motherfucker. I. Fucking. Hate. You.
Confession #532
Anal sex hurts. Sometimes for days afterward. I would never ask you to do
something physically painful for my sexual satisfaction. Stop asking and
stop making me feel guilty for not wanting to.
Confession #533
What is your idea of foreplay? It's certainly not mine....Why don't you have one of your ribs removed so that you can suck your own fucking dick if it's so damn tasty...You seem to think I should be doing it every time we have sex...In your mind it is the most enjoyable act for me on the planet. What about me????? No wonder I've turned into a Desperate Housewife --- wishing for someone else to give me the sex I've been dreaming about for 7 years.
Confession #534
I think I need a divorce. It's not that I don't care about you. I do. You definitely love me way more than I love you. Tonight you brought up the 25000 dollar home equity loan again and used it as an excuse for not having enough leverage to buy a piece of property and turn it over into big money...Like it was my fault or something that we couldn't do it. Yesterday you told me I was deaf and blind and had no common sense. What is wrong with this picture?
Confession #535
I read these confessions to remind myself how lucky I am. Yes, you do play your video games. Yes, you do love your football and hockey. I still don't get how you can be the smartest person I know and yet love wrestling and have the worst taste in music. However, I have never done a load of laundry since we've been married and every morning you walk my dog, even though you are not a dog person, so I can get more sleep before I go to work. I could not even begin listing all that you do for me, but those 2 things alone blow my mind. I am a lucky gal.
Confession #536
I hate your son. I really do. I know I told you that I could 'do this' when you proposed. You gave me every chance to get out before we got married. I said I could handle it. Sometimes I just can't. I know he has mental problems. Bad ones. But lots of times it's just an excuse to be a dumb-ass. I hate how you can bitch and bitch about him. But if I say anything and voice my frustration - then you immediately defend him and attack me.
I am dreading next week. He comes back from summer vacation with his worthless mother. I hate that he's coming back. That's why I'm depressed.
Two more years of school - then he's out. That's it.
And you KNOW that I will not consider having a child with you until he's gone. He will NEVER be around a child of mine. This makes me so sad - especially since I'm finally feeling like I want to have a baby. And I won't.
Confession #537
Sometimes for brief fleeting moment I forget that I am married to the
worlds biggest moron.
If the boys weren't so young, I'd have left years ago.
Confession #538
I often wish I'd never had a child. I know I'd be thrown to the lions if anyone ever heard me say that, but it's true. The few people I've said it to have gone all "oh but you'd miss him" on me. Well, of course I would miss him if he left tomorrow, but if I'd never had him at all, I wouldn't know what I was missing, would I? And if I'd never had him, I wouldn't be trapped in an abusive relationship that I thought I'd gotten out of. There is no "getting out" when you have a child together. The law makes sure of that. You're stuck with them forever. And I know it's wrong to blame that on a child, and I don't--I blame it on the fact I was ignorant enough to have a child in an abusive relationship. I also hate that my life will never be "mine" again. I hate that I will forever be worried about another person the way I worry about my child, and that I will spend the next several years worrying about whether or not I've fucked him up so badly that he will never have a normal life. I hate that I can never be the mother I wish I could be, and that he deserves. I just don't have it in me. I'm selfish and I have problems, and I should have realized my limitations and not given in to the pressure to procreate.
Confession #539
It was me who scratched the SUV !! I backed out of the drive way and hit the garbage can that YOU left setting there for over a week
Confession #540
To my ex-husband:
Confession 1: I lied when I told you that, because we live in different states, the child support payments had to go through the court. It was my decision. I chose to do it that way because I knew you wouldn't pay it if I didn't get it before you could spend it. You've proven me right this summer by changing jobs and not letting your new employer know "for a few months because you needed to catch up on a few bills."
Confession 2: I also lied when I told you that I would try to talk the county attorney out of go after you for the payments that you missed. While you were off "catching up on a few bills", which in your world apparently means buying a new truck and goodness knows what else, I was struggling to make ends meet while at the same time buying school supplies and paying school dues for this coming school year.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
True Wife Confessions 53 Herbie the Love Bug's Number
Confession #521
To my beloved.. You were and still are the love of my short life. I honestly think we were meant to be. Like we promised that one evening on the Ferris wheel.. We were soulmates. But you couldn't take the pain and handle the separation when I went off to school and when I couldn't afford to come home as often as I wanted to. I feel like you blame me. That look in your eyes.. When I mentioned I was working with a guy on a project... I never left you. I loved you with all my soul.. but.. You gave up on the love we had. I'm sorry I wasn't meaningful enough.
And to the young man I'm seeing now.. I'm sorry these feelings for the other still exist. It hurts me too when you talk about her too.. But that's how and why we meant. I know you will always love her, and I'm okay with that. I want to fall in love you. I worry that I'm not because.. Again, It's a distance relationship. Then I smile and think about how I put up with your pro-wrestling obsession because it makes you happy.. And your happiness makes me laugh and smile.
Confession #522
I think about him everyday, even though it's been more than two years since I've seen him and longer than that since I kissed him. The worst thing about having an affair and deciding to stay with you isn't the guilt, which at times was overwhelming. It's knowing that there is something--someone--else, someone who is smart and funny and passionate about a cause, someone who could have a job making tons of money but chooses to work for a non-profit because he wants to make a difference, someone who makes me laugh, someone I respect, someone who made me feel like I was the most incredible person in the world. One time, he cut a picture of flowers out of a magazine and put them on my desk because "everyone deserves flowers." Funny thing is, I don't think I'd want him now if I was single, but I can't get him out of my head. I fantasize about running into him somewhere, wishing for it, hoping for it, to see how I'd feel after all this time because I've come to realize that though I might not want him, I know I don't want you.
Confession #523
Even though we've been divorced for nearly six years, I still can't manage to get you out of my life. You were evil enough to trap me into violating a court order that I didn't even know about so you could take our son away from me. You managed to ruin my finances, my future, my sanity all for the sake of winning a war I wasn't even fighting with you.
And today I just received another court date so you can try to get more money from me when I don't even make 25% of your yearly salary. Are you out of your mind? What more do you want from me? You have our son, my money, and even though we have joint custody of him, you make all of the decisions. The only thing left is my life.
I hate you more than any one person should have that emotion in them and pray every day that you get run over by one of the trains you work on because you and your family are so fucked up that my son is traumatized by your incessant need to keep up with the Jones'. I cringe at the thought of all the abuse I never reported and hope that you don't poison our son with your filth. I mean who would stay married to a man who confessed he's bisexual?
I have no idea how on earth I managed to get myself into this vulnerable and screwed up position but I guarantee when I get out of it, you will be just like the rest of the scum on the earth and be rotting somewhere in hell.
Confession #524
Last night, when you smiled at me and told me that I was beautiful? You repaired alot of things. Keep it up and I might put my wedding rings back on.
Confession #525
I'm sorry because I've tried to cry and be sad about what I've done, and I can't. I feel the sobs inside of me, and I can't seem to bring them out.
The other night, when you left for poker? The night that I asked you if you even wanted to stop by the house before you went? I was waiting for your friend to stop by - yes, that friend that you are thinking of. He was waiting for me to give him the signal to come by. Its only the first time and he has now made it clear to me that it was the last.
He has decided that we will forget what we did. I can't. I think about it everytime you and I make love. I am imagining that you're him, and remembering the things he did to me.
I love you with all my heart. I just can't stop thinking about your friend. And I'm scared by that. I'm scared because he doesn't want it again and told me that it was beyond wrong. I'm scared because I want to be with you both and this has never happened to me before. This is only something other people do.
I love you. But I'm scared of it.
Confession #526
I love that you're so hairy because it makes me feel less self-conscious about how hairy I am.
Confession #527
You don't know that I posted a profile on an adult website and have been dating, and sleeping with, some of the men I've met online while you've been gone. They treat me better, have more respect and consideration for me, than you have in a very long time.
I got flowers for my birthday. From a man I hadn't even met face to face. I got flowers, cards and visitors when I was in the hospital. From men I've only chatted with or only had dinner with. I actually got to go see a movie! Not a kids' movie. A grown up movie. I get to go dancing. They're more concerned with what I think of them when they dance with me than what all the strangers at the club think of them when they dance. You should try it sometime.
Did you know sex can last longer than 10 minutes?! Did you know I actually am capable of having an orgasm?! Did you know it's possible to sit and just snuggle/cuddle, even all night, without it having to result in intercourse? Snuggling for the sake of snuggling. Touching just for the enjoyment of feeling someone's body next to you. Kissing for kissing's sake and not an item on the checklist of "to do before sex".
Did you know I'm more important than a video game? Or a TV show? Well, at least somebody thinks so. And now I realize it too. And I realize how incredibly miserable I've been. And I realize it's not all my fault.
Last time. Last chance. Going to counseling means more than one visit. If you really want to fix things with us, prove it. Make the appointments with the counselor. Go to them. Work on things. It can't be all on me to do it. It has to be both of us. I'm already half way out the door.
Confession #528
If I do decide to divorce my husband, what's to say that you will be any better? What's to say that you won't leave me like you did 15 years ago? I may not be thrilled in my marriage, but you'll need to work a hell of a lot harder to get me to trust you enough to take that risk. What's more? I am already more in love with you than I care to admit. I never stopped, just tucked it away somewhere.
You scare the shit out of me and thrill me in ways that I can only barely discuss. I fear telling you any of this, as I don't want to seem weak.
Confession #529
Sometimes when I am mad at you, I fart on your pillow. I know it's immature but it makes me feel better knowing that it may still smell when you lay your fat head down.
Confession #530
I want to have a baby more than I want to be married to you.
I tell my friends that I don't want to, because I'm so fucking tired of wondering what's wrong with me that you don't want to have a child with me.
If you won't give me a baby, I will leave you. I've been telling you that for a year and a half, and I'm not fucking kidding.
To my beloved.. You were and still are the love of my short life. I honestly think we were meant to be. Like we promised that one evening on the Ferris wheel.. We were soulmates. But you couldn't take the pain and handle the separation when I went off to school and when I couldn't afford to come home as often as I wanted to. I feel like you blame me. That look in your eyes.. When I mentioned I was working with a guy on a project... I never left you. I loved you with all my soul.. but.. You gave up on the love we had. I'm sorry I wasn't meaningful enough.
And to the young man I'm seeing now.. I'm sorry these feelings for the other still exist. It hurts me too when you talk about her too.. But that's how and why we meant. I know you will always love her, and I'm okay with that. I want to fall in love you. I worry that I'm not because.. Again, It's a distance relationship. Then I smile and think about how I put up with your pro-wrestling obsession because it makes you happy.. And your happiness makes me laugh and smile.
Confession #522
I think about him everyday, even though it's been more than two years since I've seen him and longer than that since I kissed him. The worst thing about having an affair and deciding to stay with you isn't the guilt, which at times was overwhelming. It's knowing that there is something--someone--else, someone who is smart and funny and passionate about a cause, someone who could have a job making tons of money but chooses to work for a non-profit because he wants to make a difference, someone who makes me laugh, someone I respect, someone who made me feel like I was the most incredible person in the world. One time, he cut a picture of flowers out of a magazine and put them on my desk because "everyone deserves flowers." Funny thing is, I don't think I'd want him now if I was single, but I can't get him out of my head. I fantasize about running into him somewhere, wishing for it, hoping for it, to see how I'd feel after all this time because I've come to realize that though I might not want him, I know I don't want you.
Confession #523
Even though we've been divorced for nearly six years, I still can't manage to get you out of my life. You were evil enough to trap me into violating a court order that I didn't even know about so you could take our son away from me. You managed to ruin my finances, my future, my sanity all for the sake of winning a war I wasn't even fighting with you.
And today I just received another court date so you can try to get more money from me when I don't even make 25% of your yearly salary. Are you out of your mind? What more do you want from me? You have our son, my money, and even though we have joint custody of him, you make all of the decisions. The only thing left is my life.
I hate you more than any one person should have that emotion in them and pray every day that you get run over by one of the trains you work on because you and your family are so fucked up that my son is traumatized by your incessant need to keep up with the Jones'. I cringe at the thought of all the abuse I never reported and hope that you don't poison our son with your filth. I mean who would stay married to a man who confessed he's bisexual?
I have no idea how on earth I managed to get myself into this vulnerable and screwed up position but I guarantee when I get out of it, you will be just like the rest of the scum on the earth and be rotting somewhere in hell.
Confession #524
Last night, when you smiled at me and told me that I was beautiful? You repaired alot of things. Keep it up and I might put my wedding rings back on.
Confession #525
I'm sorry because I've tried to cry and be sad about what I've done, and I can't. I feel the sobs inside of me, and I can't seem to bring them out.
The other night, when you left for poker? The night that I asked you if you even wanted to stop by the house before you went? I was waiting for your friend to stop by - yes, that friend that you are thinking of. He was waiting for me to give him the signal to come by. Its only the first time and he has now made it clear to me that it was the last.
He has decided that we will forget what we did. I can't. I think about it everytime you and I make love. I am imagining that you're him, and remembering the things he did to me.
I love you with all my heart. I just can't stop thinking about your friend. And I'm scared by that. I'm scared because he doesn't want it again and told me that it was beyond wrong. I'm scared because I want to be with you both and this has never happened to me before. This is only something other people do.
I love you. But I'm scared of it.
Confession #526
I love that you're so hairy because it makes me feel less self-conscious about how hairy I am.
Confession #527
You don't know that I posted a profile on an adult website and have been dating, and sleeping with, some of the men I've met online while you've been gone. They treat me better, have more respect and consideration for me, than you have in a very long time.
I got flowers for my birthday. From a man I hadn't even met face to face. I got flowers, cards and visitors when I was in the hospital. From men I've only chatted with or only had dinner with. I actually got to go see a movie! Not a kids' movie. A grown up movie. I get to go dancing. They're more concerned with what I think of them when they dance with me than what all the strangers at the club think of them when they dance. You should try it sometime.
Did you know sex can last longer than 10 minutes?! Did you know I actually am capable of having an orgasm?! Did you know it's possible to sit and just snuggle/cuddle, even all night, without it having to result in intercourse? Snuggling for the sake of snuggling. Touching just for the enjoyment of feeling someone's body next to you. Kissing for kissing's sake and not an item on the checklist of "to do before sex".
Did you know I'm more important than a video game? Or a TV show? Well, at least somebody thinks so. And now I realize it too. And I realize how incredibly miserable I've been. And I realize it's not all my fault.
Last time. Last chance. Going to counseling means more than one visit. If you really want to fix things with us, prove it. Make the appointments with the counselor. Go to them. Work on things. It can't be all on me to do it. It has to be both of us. I'm already half way out the door.
Confession #528
If I do decide to divorce my husband, what's to say that you will be any better? What's to say that you won't leave me like you did 15 years ago? I may not be thrilled in my marriage, but you'll need to work a hell of a lot harder to get me to trust you enough to take that risk. What's more? I am already more in love with you than I care to admit. I never stopped, just tucked it away somewhere.
You scare the shit out of me and thrill me in ways that I can only barely discuss. I fear telling you any of this, as I don't want to seem weak.
Confession #529
Sometimes when I am mad at you, I fart on your pillow. I know it's immature but it makes me feel better knowing that it may still smell when you lay your fat head down.
Confession #530
I want to have a baby more than I want to be married to you.
I tell my friends that I don't want to, because I'm so fucking tired of wondering what's wrong with me that you don't want to have a child with me.
If you won't give me a baby, I will leave you. I've been telling you that for a year and a half, and I'm not fucking kidding.
Monday, August 21, 2006
True Wife Confessions 52 Pick Up
Confession #511
Sometimes I think I hate you, When we were first married I loved you more than anything. Everytime you yell at me,push me down, or insult me I love you less. I hate that you don't love me enough to stop hurting me. I hate that you treat me like that in front of our daughter. Our daughter is the only reason I'm still with you.
I look at other men and daydream that I am with them. I am waiting for a great man to ask me (with our daughter) to leave you so I can be with him. I feel like I will never escape, you will always be there questioning me, smothering me, making me hate you even more. I feel that I will never get the chance to feel in love with someone again.
Confession #512
When you cancelled out on my Birthday 3 years ago because of work, I lied and said it was okay. When you forgot last year, I lied and said it was okay. My birthday is the day after tomorrow and we have tickets and plans with friends...and you just left me a voice mail saying you had to back out.
For the past six months you have promised to come with me to my chemo and radiation treatments. You have never made it. I always tell you its okay. That I don't care.
Its not okay anymore. And I do care.
When I do decide to call you back I will be ending things with your selfish, lying, manipulative ass.
Confession #513
I did the right thing today. I told him no and walked away. I just couldn't bring myself to break your trust again like I used to. So, you should know I am faithful and today I did the hardest thing possible. I told him no and I was true to you. I love you. I loved him, but I love you. And I told him no.
Confession #514
When your oldest daughter from your first marriage flipped her car resulting in the death of your beautiful grand-daughter, I wished it was her that had died? I can't express enough how thankful I am that both your daughters have stopped contacting you... I love you honey but your kids don't deserve you.
Confession #515
I was going to do the "right" thing and stay with you until our son had grown up. But then I noticed that he was turning out just like you. Since there is no woman on this earth that deserves to put up with your emotional abuse and utter crap, I am leaving you. Not today, but very very soon. I could put up with a lousy husband, but not a lousy father. He deserves better than that.
Confession #516
I know my last name begins with E. I know that my deceased mother's first name begins with E.
But that E tattoo I bought myself for my birthday last year, stands for the greatest lover I ever had.
And "hE" still is.
Confession #517
You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hate this war and the fact that you have to be there. Please be careful. I have to say something but I would never say it to you: I am so afraid that you will get killed out there. I am so lonely without you and knowing you are thousands of miles away and people are shooting at you and trying to kill you! I am so sick inside when I think of that! Please be safe. Please come home to me in one piece. Last time you went there, you got hurt pretty badly. I can't believe you went back, though I understand it's your duty. But hopefully, someday, it will be your duty to come home and make a beautiful family with me...safe..in America. I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and so thankful for your service and your courage. But please, don't get killed. I need you.
Confession #518
I only married you because everyone told me not to.
Confession #519
Dear husband, tonight I got a tattoo. I know you think they are a waste of money but I wanted it. You are asleep in our bed as I write this. All my friends knew I was doing this.. I don't know how to tell you
Confession #520
When we met 11 years ago, you had no money, a shitty job, and a pile of credit card debt. But you were trying to get it together, and I spent three years helping you pay off the cards. We lived in a crummy place in a scary neighborhood, and slowly built a more comfortable life. We had kids, and I left work with your blessing. I guided our prematurely-born, disabled son through a maze of doctors and therapists for him to progress to a point where his disability is virtually undetectable. And now you are (again) bugging me to spend $5K that we don't have on a stupid third car that you want for a hobby? And you want to finance it??? Whatever happened to us living within our means? And now when I put my foot down about it, you act like a petulant 9-year-old and start suggesting I get a job so you can buy your toys? And then you mention that you wish you hadn't gotten married? Buddy, same here. You have no idea the line you have crossed, as you are out now with your buddies. I am here at home with the "D" word heavy on my mind.
Sometimes I think I hate you, When we were first married I loved you more than anything. Everytime you yell at me,push me down, or insult me I love you less. I hate that you don't love me enough to stop hurting me. I hate that you treat me like that in front of our daughter. Our daughter is the only reason I'm still with you.
I look at other men and daydream that I am with them. I am waiting for a great man to ask me (with our daughter) to leave you so I can be with him. I feel like I will never escape, you will always be there questioning me, smothering me, making me hate you even more. I feel that I will never get the chance to feel in love with someone again.
Confession #512
When you cancelled out on my Birthday 3 years ago because of work, I lied and said it was okay. When you forgot last year, I lied and said it was okay. My birthday is the day after tomorrow and we have tickets and plans with friends...and you just left me a voice mail saying you had to back out.
For the past six months you have promised to come with me to my chemo and radiation treatments. You have never made it. I always tell you its okay. That I don't care.
Its not okay anymore. And I do care.
When I do decide to call you back I will be ending things with your selfish, lying, manipulative ass.
Confession #513
I did the right thing today. I told him no and walked away. I just couldn't bring myself to break your trust again like I used to. So, you should know I am faithful and today I did the hardest thing possible. I told him no and I was true to you. I love you. I loved him, but I love you. And I told him no.
Confession #514
When your oldest daughter from your first marriage flipped her car resulting in the death of your beautiful grand-daughter, I wished it was her that had died? I can't express enough how thankful I am that both your daughters have stopped contacting you... I love you honey but your kids don't deserve you.
Confession #515
I was going to do the "right" thing and stay with you until our son had grown up. But then I noticed that he was turning out just like you. Since there is no woman on this earth that deserves to put up with your emotional abuse and utter crap, I am leaving you. Not today, but very very soon. I could put up with a lousy husband, but not a lousy father. He deserves better than that.
Confession #516
I know my last name begins with E. I know that my deceased mother's first name begins with E.
But that E tattoo I bought myself for my birthday last year, stands for the greatest lover I ever had.
And "hE" still is.
Confession #517
You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hate this war and the fact that you have to be there. Please be careful. I have to say something but I would never say it to you: I am so afraid that you will get killed out there. I am so lonely without you and knowing you are thousands of miles away and people are shooting at you and trying to kill you! I am so sick inside when I think of that! Please be safe. Please come home to me in one piece. Last time you went there, you got hurt pretty badly. I can't believe you went back, though I understand it's your duty. But hopefully, someday, it will be your duty to come home and make a beautiful family with me...safe..in America. I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and so thankful for your service and your courage. But please, don't get killed. I need you.
Confession #518
I only married you because everyone told me not to.
Confession #519
Dear husband, tonight I got a tattoo. I know you think they are a waste of money but I wanted it. You are asleep in our bed as I write this. All my friends knew I was doing this.. I don't know how to tell you
Confession #520
When we met 11 years ago, you had no money, a shitty job, and a pile of credit card debt. But you were trying to get it together, and I spent three years helping you pay off the cards. We lived in a crummy place in a scary neighborhood, and slowly built a more comfortable life. We had kids, and I left work with your blessing. I guided our prematurely-born, disabled son through a maze of doctors and therapists for him to progress to a point where his disability is virtually undetectable. And now you are (again) bugging me to spend $5K that we don't have on a stupid third car that you want for a hobby? And you want to finance it??? Whatever happened to us living within our means? And now when I put my foot down about it, you act like a petulant 9-year-old and start suggesting I get a job so you can buy your toys? And then you mention that you wish you hadn't gotten married? Buddy, same here. You have no idea the line you have crossed, as you are out now with your buddies. I am here at home with the "D" word heavy on my mind.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
True Wife Confessions Area 51
Confession #501
Last night, when you told me that I was more important then money and your job? When you told me you no longer cared about work so much? When you told me that you are willing to move to Europe with me? When you told me that my dreams had been on hold for long enough? When you told me that our son meant the world and everything to you? When you told me that you realized that I was ready to walk out on you? When you told me that you are a jackass for not seeing that you were "suffocating your precious butterfly" and "are sorry for clipping my wings for so long"?
that was the most redeeming moment in our entire relationship and I love you for it.
Confession #502
When I gained 75 lbs from pregnancy, I could tell you were repulsed by me. What a hypocrite you are. Now I have lost those pounds plus 5 more. What do you have to say now? Here is what I have to say. Practice some self control you FAT ASS!
Confession #503
you're such an ass, I don't know why I bother...No really, you fucking suck at life...Oh yeah if you grab my tits or crotch again you might just be picking yourself up off the floor...No its not a turn on and neither are you...you need to brush your teeth...And you know what, I really really don't give a damn about your needs anymore cause you have never cared about mine...I have needs too and they aren't sexual...How about how I needed you to be with me while I was pregnant with both of our daughters..hmm the first time you were hooked on drugs and the 2nd time you were hooked on an ugly ass rat faced anorexic home wrecking bitch...in fact everytime i have ever really really needed you to be there, needed to be able to count on you, you were gone like your ass was on fire, except for the time our daughter was in the hospital, but you were gone again the day she got out and nowhere to be found when she was sick before they found out why...it was a good show though....so yeah fuck you and your needs....and finally (although i could go on for days) DO NOT TRY TO DISCIPLINE OUR DAUGHTER when you wont even stay in her life consistently. Prove yourself as a worthy father, a good dad, and then you can play that part, but until then, i will handle it and if you don't like the way I handle things then FUCK OFF cause i do it ALONE and I do the best I can and so help me God, if you EVER spank her, I will kick your no good ass all over the damn house...You don't deserve them and you don't deserve me and if you really want us then you need to spend the rest of your life making up for the bullshit you have put us through and never put us through anymore..How it is possible to hate and love someone so much at the same time?
Confession #504
I love you to pieces, but is it really necessary to silently fart if I am walking behind you and then giggle when I gag? I know we both have a sick sense of humor, and that's of the many reasons we get along and love each other, but if you do that one more time I am going to throw up on you,Youu crop-dusting ass.
Confession #505
I really appreciate how much you put up with me. You help carry my baggage and you shouldn'’t have to.
Your patience with me sometimes is astounding and I am really, really, really thankful for that.
Having a man that understands your freak-outs and your insecurities and still loves and accepts you is one of the most lovable, incredible, and sexiest things ever.
Thank you bubaloo. xoxo
Confession #506
I cannot understand how you think you are a clean person if you don't use soap. Who takes a shower and doesn't use soap? Why even waste the water? I also hate your feet. They gross me out.
Confession #507
You are a waste of human flesh. All those years I spent supporting you, paying the bills, loving you. You never loved me back. Cheating on me since the beginning. I know about them all. Being perpetually unemployed while I went to work every day. Paid all the bills and made ends meet while you took every opportunity to spend what was left and run up the credit cards. You, motherfucker, had a baby with some 22 year old at the same time that we had our son together, you son of a bitch. And then as if all that wasn't bad enough, as if you felt justified in cheating and withholding affection, love and time from your family you started to hit me. Not only hit me but hold me hostage and terrorize me. I actually thought you would kill me. Well, fuck you. I got to the phone, I called the police and they took your sorry ass to jail. And then I moved my stuff and my son far away and you will never see us again. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life.
Confession #508
It makes me heartsick that my abusive, loser of a first husband had me when I was young and thin... and you get me 60 lbs heavier and 10 years older. I love you so much, that I would die if you ever found out that that S.O.B . still has more say in how I view my body than you do. This is the real reason that I am starting to exercise and be more careful what I eat. You treat me like a queen and tell me I am beautiful with your words and actions... I am going to start acting like a queen. I am beautiful.
Confession #509
I've been fucking your brother for the last year. Odds are, our son is actually his.
Before that, I was fucking your best friend and his wife, and still do on ocassion.
I have never been faithful to you, even before we got married. You are a good man and a decent father and provider, but you simply have no idea what to do in bed. I would rather mastubate with a cheese grater than have sex with you.
Confession #510
I look at you and thank god everyday to have a husband like you. You are a wonderful father to our two girls and when I see you playing with them my heart melts. I also do appreciate the foot rubs at night because you completely understand that it's not easy being 7 months pregnant. You are the glue to our family.
Last night, when you told me that I was more important then money and your job? When you told me you no longer cared about work so much? When you told me that you are willing to move to Europe with me? When you told me that my dreams had been on hold for long enough? When you told me that our son meant the world and everything to you? When you told me that you realized that I was ready to walk out on you? When you told me that you are a jackass for not seeing that you were "suffocating your precious butterfly" and "are sorry for clipping my wings for so long"?
that was the most redeeming moment in our entire relationship and I love you for it.
Confession #502
When I gained 75 lbs from pregnancy, I could tell you were repulsed by me. What a hypocrite you are. Now I have lost those pounds plus 5 more. What do you have to say now? Here is what I have to say. Practice some self control you FAT ASS!
Confession #503
you're such an ass, I don't know why I bother...No really, you fucking suck at life...Oh yeah if you grab my tits or crotch again you might just be picking yourself up off the floor...No its not a turn on and neither are you...you need to brush your teeth...And you know what, I really really don't give a damn about your needs anymore cause you have never cared about mine...I have needs too and they aren't sexual...How about how I needed you to be with me while I was pregnant with both of our daughters..hmm the first time you were hooked on drugs and the 2nd time you were hooked on an ugly ass rat faced anorexic home wrecking bitch...in fact everytime i have ever really really needed you to be there, needed to be able to count on you, you were gone like your ass was on fire, except for the time our daughter was in the hospital, but you were gone again the day she got out and nowhere to be found when she was sick before they found out why...it was a good show though....so yeah fuck you and your needs....and finally (although i could go on for days) DO NOT TRY TO DISCIPLINE OUR DAUGHTER when you wont even stay in her life consistently. Prove yourself as a worthy father, a good dad, and then you can play that part, but until then, i will handle it and if you don't like the way I handle things then FUCK OFF cause i do it ALONE and I do the best I can and so help me God, if you EVER spank her, I will kick your no good ass all over the damn house...You don't deserve them and you don't deserve me and if you really want us then you need to spend the rest of your life making up for the bullshit you have put us through and never put us through anymore..How it is possible to hate and love someone so much at the same time?
Confession #504
I love you to pieces, but is it really necessary to silently fart if I am walking behind you and then giggle when I gag? I know we both have a sick sense of humor, and that's of the many reasons we get along and love each other, but if you do that one more time I am going to throw up on you,Youu crop-dusting ass.
Confession #505
I really appreciate how much you put up with me. You help carry my baggage and you shouldn'’t have to.
Your patience with me sometimes is astounding and I am really, really, really thankful for that.
Having a man that understands your freak-outs and your insecurities and still loves and accepts you is one of the most lovable, incredible, and sexiest things ever.
Thank you bubaloo. xoxo
Confession #506
I cannot understand how you think you are a clean person if you don't use soap. Who takes a shower and doesn't use soap? Why even waste the water? I also hate your feet. They gross me out.
Confession #507
You are a waste of human flesh. All those years I spent supporting you, paying the bills, loving you. You never loved me back. Cheating on me since the beginning. I know about them all. Being perpetually unemployed while I went to work every day. Paid all the bills and made ends meet while you took every opportunity to spend what was left and run up the credit cards. You, motherfucker, had a baby with some 22 year old at the same time that we had our son together, you son of a bitch. And then as if all that wasn't bad enough, as if you felt justified in cheating and withholding affection, love and time from your family you started to hit me. Not only hit me but hold me hostage and terrorize me. I actually thought you would kill me. Well, fuck you. I got to the phone, I called the police and they took your sorry ass to jail. And then I moved my stuff and my son far away and you will never see us again. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life.
Confession #508
It makes me heartsick that my abusive, loser of a first husband had me when I was young and thin... and you get me 60 lbs heavier and 10 years older. I love you so much, that I would die if you ever found out that that S.O.B . still has more say in how I view my body than you do. This is the real reason that I am starting to exercise and be more careful what I eat. You treat me like a queen and tell me I am beautiful with your words and actions... I am going to start acting like a queen. I am beautiful.
Confession #509
I've been fucking your brother for the last year. Odds are, our son is actually his.
Before that, I was fucking your best friend and his wife, and still do on ocassion.
I have never been faithful to you, even before we got married. You are a good man and a decent father and provider, but you simply have no idea what to do in bed. I would rather mastubate with a cheese grater than have sex with you.
Confession #510
I look at you and thank god everyday to have a husband like you. You are a wonderful father to our two girls and when I see you playing with them my heart melts. I also do appreciate the foot rubs at night because you completely understand that it's not easy being 7 months pregnant. You are the glue to our family.
Friday, August 18, 2006
True Wife Confessions 50 Ways to Leave your Luv-ah
Confession #491
To my ex mother-in-law:
Your precious first-born son, the one you think is so perfect, the one you think is the most wonderful being on the planet?
He's actually the most selfish, inconsiderate, immature person I have ever met in my life.
You're part of the reason we split up. YOU raised him to be that way.
Maybe you aren't such a great mom after all.
Confession #492
I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You have put up with so much, and you have been such a rock for me. I don't say it enough, and you probably need to hear it more, but without you, I would never have made it this far. You are a special man, and a great dad, and I thank you for standing by us, when you could easily have walked away. I have always said your worst quality was your ridiculously poor memory, but on second thought, it is probably what has kept us together for so long!
Confession #493
Honey, I really truly don't mind your little porn habit. Sometimes you find stuff that's really hot, and on the rare occasion when all the stars align and The Boy goes to sleep early, it's fun to watch it together. But why, by all that's holy, do you have to set your stupid filesharing programs looking for the stuff every single night? Don't you know I have insomnia? I can't always go back to sleep after The Boy nurses, so I get up to read/update my blog and just have some alone time at the computer without someone hitting me with Duplos or shoving Dr. Seuss books into my spine. I Do Not Want to read my email at less than dial-up speeds because you are downloading five thousand little clips from some obscure butt-fucking video, okay? Stop. It. Download the crap during the freakin' day while you are at work. Chances are I won't have any time at all then to be on the computer anyway, because I'll be too busy cooking, potty training, doing laundry, cleaning the damn house, and removing the fucking books from my spine to even sit down. Give me a freakin' break, already.
Confession #494
I hate your computers. I don't believe or even care that they are part of your job anymore. Honey, you sell computers. You install software. You don't write code, so why, why, why do you need the latest and greatest for your job? I hate that you have to have dual core whatever chips, and whatever-the-fuck front side bus speeds, and more RAM than God in the desktop. I hate that you have to have a really expensive laptop every couple of years. I really, really fucking hate from the bottom of my heart that the spiffy end all and be all of laptops that you absolutely HAD to have last year for your birthday, the one that they had on sale at the day after Thanksgiving sale, the one that necessitated my getting up at two a-freakin'-m and going to stand in the long ass line at the local electronics store with our baby wrapped up in the sling and nursing while I stood in line freezing my ass off for about four freakin' hours, was just not good enough and you traded it in less than six months later. Buy your own fucking laptop next year. Better yet, do without.
Oh yeah, and I hate talking about them too. I don't know what all that crap means, and I really don't care. Just let me take care of our child in peace. Talk to me about how things went at work, or world events, or our baby, or anything that's in English.
Confession #495
You are the nicest guy I ever went out with. I knew I got lucky. Your accomodating nature was such a nice change of pace. The fact that I knew I could always rely on you was one of the biggest things that attracted me to you. That, and your bizarre sense of humor that was so scarily like my own. You had confidence then, yet for some reason after three years of marriage, it's gone. Your backbone has softened, you automatically go into defense mode when I ask you a question, and you don't do anything unless I ask you to do it. You hug me and kiss me and tell me you love me everyday, and I know you mean it more than I could possibly know. I love you too, but I want that guy back, the guy I fell in love with. I adored him. I don't know where he went, but I miss him... I miss you...
Confession #496
You saved me. I was on a self-destructive path. You recognized that and were willing to reach out to me. Not only did that start our relationship, but it put an end to what would have proven to be my misery. Maybe you didn't so much save me as help me find the strength to save myself, holding your hand along the way. You were the first person I ever told. When I told you my awful truth, you didn't run. You held me. You let me cry. You wanted to protect me, but you recognized that I needed the strength to protect myself. It was only through your love that I found that strength. I'm terrified to think about what my life would be like if we weren'’t together. I am in awe of you. I am so very thankful for you. I love you.
Confession #497
Just because I work in sales and you work at a job that holds you in one location from 8-5 does not mean that I am your personal errand girl. I AM WORKING!!! Yes, I am in the car. Yes, I drive all over town. Yes, I work out of the house. None of those things mean that I have time to run to the bank for you, run to the post office for you, run to the dry cleaner for you, and most of all, run through the drive thru for you cause you are 'really busy and don't have time to take lunch'!!! You seem to think that I have time to drop everything and do your bidding because I am in the car. Just so you know, I only run those errands for you because I would rather go out of my way than have to listen to you whine when I get home. And you wonder why I am mysteriously NEVER available lately when you call in the middle of the day. Oh, and the text message requests to run errands? Fuck you. No, I didn't forget my phone at home three days straight last week. I just didn't want to run around for you
Confession #498
I know you read true wife confessions. I know that you are looking for mine.
Confession #499
Sometimes I wake up in the night to watch you sleep, and I can'’t breathe because I love you so much. I wish I could tell you, but you don't trust the words, so I know it would only unsettle you to hear me say it. So I keep the house as clean as I can, spend hours cooking your meals, keep your sock drawer full of folded socks and love your child as much as I love my own. I hope it shows half of how much I love you, because I hear your love me when you say "thank you"” so often. You'’re wonderful!
Confession #500
I don't know if I can forgive you for letting me down when our son was born. You wouldn't read any books with me. You refused to go to a Bradley or Lamaze class with me, and you barely paid attention to the hospital based class we did go to. At least, if you did pay attention it didn't show. You obviously didn't learn anything from it. You refused to let me hire a doula because we didn't need it. But then you didn't step up to the plate and deliver. Because when the fucking asshole of an on-call obstetrician pushed a million fucking interventions at me that you knew damned well I didn't want and probably didn't need, you didn't stand up for me. Women in labor are vulnerable. I needed you there to protect me, not to play poker with our friend that stopped by. Not to sleep while I was in the tub trying to deal with the back labor. A back rub would have been nice. Not to eat pizza with your brother in front of me while the damned hospital nurses wouldn't let me eat anything despite the fact that I went without solid food for almost two fucking days. Not to play fucking video games on your GameBoy. I'd like to shove that GameBoy up your ass, you know. When it predictably ended up in a cesarean section for failure to progress, I was in tears and I felt like a fucking failure. I feel like I was raped and everyone stood around watching and no-one called the cops. Including you.
To my ex mother-in-law:
Your precious first-born son, the one you think is so perfect, the one you think is the most wonderful being on the planet?
He's actually the most selfish, inconsiderate, immature person I have ever met in my life.
You're part of the reason we split up. YOU raised him to be that way.
Maybe you aren't such a great mom after all.
Confession #492
I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You have put up with so much, and you have been such a rock for me. I don't say it enough, and you probably need to hear it more, but without you, I would never have made it this far. You are a special man, and a great dad, and I thank you for standing by us, when you could easily have walked away. I have always said your worst quality was your ridiculously poor memory, but on second thought, it is probably what has kept us together for so long!
Confession #493
Honey, I really truly don't mind your little porn habit. Sometimes you find stuff that's really hot, and on the rare occasion when all the stars align and The Boy goes to sleep early, it's fun to watch it together. But why, by all that's holy, do you have to set your stupid filesharing programs looking for the stuff every single night? Don't you know I have insomnia? I can't always go back to sleep after The Boy nurses, so I get up to read/update my blog and just have some alone time at the computer without someone hitting me with Duplos or shoving Dr. Seuss books into my spine. I Do Not Want to read my email at less than dial-up speeds because you are downloading five thousand little clips from some obscure butt-fucking video, okay? Stop. It. Download the crap during the freakin' day while you are at work. Chances are I won't have any time at all then to be on the computer anyway, because I'll be too busy cooking, potty training, doing laundry, cleaning the damn house, and removing the fucking books from my spine to even sit down. Give me a freakin' break, already.
Confession #494
I hate your computers. I don't believe or even care that they are part of your job anymore. Honey, you sell computers. You install software. You don't write code, so why, why, why do you need the latest and greatest for your job? I hate that you have to have dual core whatever chips, and whatever-the-fuck front side bus speeds, and more RAM than God in the desktop. I hate that you have to have a really expensive laptop every couple of years. I really, really fucking hate from the bottom of my heart that the spiffy end all and be all of laptops that you absolutely HAD to have last year for your birthday, the one that they had on sale at the day after Thanksgiving sale, the one that necessitated my getting up at two a-freakin'-m and going to stand in the long ass line at the local electronics store with our baby wrapped up in the sling and nursing while I stood in line freezing my ass off for about four freakin' hours, was just not good enough and you traded it in less than six months later. Buy your own fucking laptop next year. Better yet, do without.
Oh yeah, and I hate talking about them too. I don't know what all that crap means, and I really don't care. Just let me take care of our child in peace. Talk to me about how things went at work, or world events, or our baby, or anything that's in English.
Confession #495
You are the nicest guy I ever went out with. I knew I got lucky. Your accomodating nature was such a nice change of pace. The fact that I knew I could always rely on you was one of the biggest things that attracted me to you. That, and your bizarre sense of humor that was so scarily like my own. You had confidence then, yet for some reason after three years of marriage, it's gone. Your backbone has softened, you automatically go into defense mode when I ask you a question, and you don't do anything unless I ask you to do it. You hug me and kiss me and tell me you love me everyday, and I know you mean it more than I could possibly know. I love you too, but I want that guy back, the guy I fell in love with. I adored him. I don't know where he went, but I miss him... I miss you...
Confession #496
You saved me. I was on a self-destructive path. You recognized that and were willing to reach out to me. Not only did that start our relationship, but it put an end to what would have proven to be my misery. Maybe you didn't so much save me as help me find the strength to save myself, holding your hand along the way. You were the first person I ever told. When I told you my awful truth, you didn't run. You held me. You let me cry. You wanted to protect me, but you recognized that I needed the strength to protect myself. It was only through your love that I found that strength. I'm terrified to think about what my life would be like if we weren'’t together. I am in awe of you. I am so very thankful for you. I love you.
Confession #497
Just because I work in sales and you work at a job that holds you in one location from 8-5 does not mean that I am your personal errand girl. I AM WORKING!!! Yes, I am in the car. Yes, I drive all over town. Yes, I work out of the house. None of those things mean that I have time to run to the bank for you, run to the post office for you, run to the dry cleaner for you, and most of all, run through the drive thru for you cause you are 'really busy and don't have time to take lunch'!!! You seem to think that I have time to drop everything and do your bidding because I am in the car. Just so you know, I only run those errands for you because I would rather go out of my way than have to listen to you whine when I get home. And you wonder why I am mysteriously NEVER available lately when you call in the middle of the day. Oh, and the text message requests to run errands? Fuck you. No, I didn't forget my phone at home three days straight last week. I just didn't want to run around for you
Confession #498
I know you read true wife confessions. I know that you are looking for mine.
Confession #499
Sometimes I wake up in the night to watch you sleep, and I can'’t breathe because I love you so much. I wish I could tell you, but you don't trust the words, so I know it would only unsettle you to hear me say it. So I keep the house as clean as I can, spend hours cooking your meals, keep your sock drawer full of folded socks and love your child as much as I love my own. I hope it shows half of how much I love you, because I hear your love me when you say "thank you"” so often. You'’re wonderful!
Confession #500
I don't know if I can forgive you for letting me down when our son was born. You wouldn't read any books with me. You refused to go to a Bradley or Lamaze class with me, and you barely paid attention to the hospital based class we did go to. At least, if you did pay attention it didn't show. You obviously didn't learn anything from it. You refused to let me hire a doula because we didn't need it. But then you didn't step up to the plate and deliver. Because when the fucking asshole of an on-call obstetrician pushed a million fucking interventions at me that you knew damned well I didn't want and probably didn't need, you didn't stand up for me. Women in labor are vulnerable. I needed you there to protect me, not to play poker with our friend that stopped by. Not to sleep while I was in the tub trying to deal with the back labor. A back rub would have been nice. Not to eat pizza with your brother in front of me while the damned hospital nurses wouldn't let me eat anything despite the fact that I went without solid food for almost two fucking days. Not to play fucking video games on your GameBoy. I'd like to shove that GameBoy up your ass, you know. When it predictably ended up in a cesarean section for failure to progress, I was in tears and I felt like a fucking failure. I feel like I was raped and everyone stood around watching and no-one called the cops. Including you.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
True Wife Confessions 49 strings on a harp
Confession #481
you promised me that we would have kids. Now you "aren't sure anymore". Listen here, I told you if you didn't want kids it was okay, but I wasn't going to marry you. You PROMISED. I expect you to follow through. If I would have known you weren't going to keep your word I would have married David when he asked. Yeah, he didn't have a job then, but he does now and he was ready to have babies with me. I will leave you before I give up my desire to be a mother. Oh, and David? He is still single. How do I know? I meet him for coffee once a week.
Confession #482
Get some new stories to tell already. My father, who suffers from the same problem, has begun to comment to me that he has heard them all. When he has heard them all, the rest of us have heard them 10 times each.
Confession #483
I know you love me more than anything and that your doing the best you can.
I could never understand that hell that is the depression you are currently
experiencing or the agony of trying to get the right medication combination.
but ...
this morning when you were screaming and smashing your head into the wall
and telling me how you just wanted to die all I could think was "it is 3am
.... I have to be up in 3 hours ... I haven't slept for days". and then I
wished with all my might that you would just kill yourself. You are breaking
down and you are taking me down with you. And then when I had got enough
valium in you to make you fall asleep and as you were drifting off, you
apologised. You told me all you wanted to do was take care of me rather than
the other way around. I was so ashamed of myself. Now it's me that wants to
die.
I love you so much. I hope you get better soon, too. For your sake and mine.
Confession #484
I can still count on one hand the number of times I have burst into tears during the three years we have been married. So it's not like it's a daily occurance that you have to deal with. Only once have you ever acted like you even might care just a little. I don't expect you to fix the problem right there and then. Just act like you might give a shit.
Confession #485
I wish you would go out with your friends more often. I LIKE having the house to myself every now and then. I can read or work on crafty stuff without you pestering me to be done. I can watch HGTV, Bravo, the Food Network and even those sappy movies on Lifetime without you commenting like a jackass.
Confession #486
I have been cheating on you with a man I work with for a few years before our marriage broke down. This man was a much better lover than you and turned me on more that you ever did. He was also much more well endowned that you are and gave me more satisfaction. I don't regret it one bit because after all why should I be faithful to a man who puts his mummy dearest before his wife.
Confession #487
I know I fucked up when I married you this year. I felt sorry for you and I wanted you to be able to get your papers to live in this country and make a life for yourself. I'm sorry that you love me as much as you do. I try to piss you off as much as possible hoping that one day you snap and leave me. I can't bring myself to do it. I'm still in love with my first love and I've recently talked to him and there's hope that we might get together again. I'm sorry, I really am. I wish you would screw up and quit being so fucking nice and loving. Any woman in their right mind would want you but I just don't love you.
Confession #488
Now that I am in the process of filing for divorce, I wish I left you years
ago when we first started dating. You cried and begged me to stay. I know
now that it was a sign of your weakness and not of your love.
The only bright spot is the little boy you helped create, not raise. He is
the best, most wonderful thing in my life. I've stayed this long because of
him.
Please leave us forever, as it'll do us all a huge favor.
Confession #489
I know the exact moment I knew I HATED your mother.When she sent me the email telling me that "sending a thank you note after our wedding was protocol and standard etiquette in your family and expected through out the world.So if you have not sent out your Thank You notes to your guests please do so now." seven months after our wedding and like I was raised in a barn.Because her sister told her that she had not gotten one from use. Even though the week after our wedding your mother hounded us everyday asking if we had sent out our thank you notes until I told her the very day we put them in the mail that we had. So she knew we had sent them! But instead of asking why that one single person out of the 50 that attended did not get one, because lord knows it wasn't simple human error, she wrote the most passive aggressive email that in a sense let me know that when she sees me I can almost hear her think "My son should have done better".
I just didn't know that when I started crying after reading the email and showed you what it said you would walk off into the kitchen and put put around until you could hear me not crying and then walk in and offer a half hearted hug and an explanation that your mom has always been like that and I shouldn't let it bother me. That along with knowing the exact moment I hated your mother would be the same moment I started a clock in my head counting down to when I might leave you.I probably won't because I'm carrying your son.
Confession #490
Four years before we "met" at a mutual friend's party, we had gone on a blind date set up by this mutual friend. You remember every detail of that date, what I wore, etc. I claim to remember nothing at all, I say I don't even remember going on the date. I lied. I remember. I just say I don't remember because it is easier than admitting how much of a snobbish bitch I was. I was too wrapped up over your acne problem to give you a fair chance, too busy staring at your face to notice what a gentleman you were. That is why I never answered your calls. Because of my snobbery and shallowness, I spent the next three years in a relationship with a hot guy whose favorite past time was beating the living shit out of me instead of in a relationship with wonderful you. When I met you again at that party and you treated me so nicely after what I did to you, I felt ashamed. And now that you are the handsome one and I am overweight and frumpy after giving birth to two kids, you could do the same thing back to me, but you don't. You are the only thing that makes me feel like a woman, you tell me every day how beautiful I am, and when we are in the mall and girls check you out and you just smile and put your arm around me, I melt. Not to mention the fact that you are an AWESOME father, you let me sleep in EVERY day while you get up with the girls, you change more diapers than I do, and you cook dinner every night after working all day, all the time telling me to relax. I will never, ever, ever judge anyone ever again based solely on their looks. I hope you can forgive me.
you promised me that we would have kids. Now you "aren't sure anymore". Listen here, I told you if you didn't want kids it was okay, but I wasn't going to marry you. You PROMISED. I expect you to follow through. If I would have known you weren't going to keep your word I would have married David when he asked. Yeah, he didn't have a job then, but he does now and he was ready to have babies with me. I will leave you before I give up my desire to be a mother. Oh, and David? He is still single. How do I know? I meet him for coffee once a week.
Confession #482
Get some new stories to tell already. My father, who suffers from the same problem, has begun to comment to me that he has heard them all. When he has heard them all, the rest of us have heard them 10 times each.
Confession #483
I know you love me more than anything and that your doing the best you can.
I could never understand that hell that is the depression you are currently
experiencing or the agony of trying to get the right medication combination.
but ...
this morning when you were screaming and smashing your head into the wall
and telling me how you just wanted to die all I could think was "it is 3am
.... I have to be up in 3 hours ... I haven't slept for days". and then I
wished with all my might that you would just kill yourself. You are breaking
down and you are taking me down with you. And then when I had got enough
valium in you to make you fall asleep and as you were drifting off, you
apologised. You told me all you wanted to do was take care of me rather than
the other way around. I was so ashamed of myself. Now it's me that wants to
die.
I love you so much. I hope you get better soon, too. For your sake and mine.
Confession #484
I can still count on one hand the number of times I have burst into tears during the three years we have been married. So it's not like it's a daily occurance that you have to deal with. Only once have you ever acted like you even might care just a little. I don't expect you to fix the problem right there and then. Just act like you might give a shit.
Confession #485
I wish you would go out with your friends more often. I LIKE having the house to myself every now and then. I can read or work on crafty stuff without you pestering me to be done. I can watch HGTV, Bravo, the Food Network and even those sappy movies on Lifetime without you commenting like a jackass.
Confession #486
I have been cheating on you with a man I work with for a few years before our marriage broke down. This man was a much better lover than you and turned me on more that you ever did. He was also much more well endowned that you are and gave me more satisfaction. I don't regret it one bit because after all why should I be faithful to a man who puts his mummy dearest before his wife.
Confession #487
I know I fucked up when I married you this year. I felt sorry for you and I wanted you to be able to get your papers to live in this country and make a life for yourself. I'm sorry that you love me as much as you do. I try to piss you off as much as possible hoping that one day you snap and leave me. I can't bring myself to do it. I'm still in love with my first love and I've recently talked to him and there's hope that we might get together again. I'm sorry, I really am. I wish you would screw up and quit being so fucking nice and loving. Any woman in their right mind would want you but I just don't love you.
Confession #488
Now that I am in the process of filing for divorce, I wish I left you years
ago when we first started dating. You cried and begged me to stay. I know
now that it was a sign of your weakness and not of your love.
The only bright spot is the little boy you helped create, not raise. He is
the best, most wonderful thing in my life. I've stayed this long because of
him.
Please leave us forever, as it'll do us all a huge favor.
Confession #489
I know the exact moment I knew I HATED your mother.When she sent me the email telling me that "sending a thank you note after our wedding was protocol and standard etiquette in your family and expected through out the world.So if you have not sent out your Thank You notes to your guests please do so now." seven months after our wedding and like I was raised in a barn.Because her sister told her that she had not gotten one from use. Even though the week after our wedding your mother hounded us everyday asking if we had sent out our thank you notes until I told her the very day we put them in the mail that we had. So she knew we had sent them! But instead of asking why that one single person out of the 50 that attended did not get one, because lord knows it wasn't simple human error, she wrote the most passive aggressive email that in a sense let me know that when she sees me I can almost hear her think "My son should have done better".
I just didn't know that when I started crying after reading the email and showed you what it said you would walk off into the kitchen and put put around until you could hear me not crying and then walk in and offer a half hearted hug and an explanation that your mom has always been like that and I shouldn't let it bother me. That along with knowing the exact moment I hated your mother would be the same moment I started a clock in my head counting down to when I might leave you.I probably won't because I'm carrying your son.
Confession #490
Four years before we "met" at a mutual friend's party, we had gone on a blind date set up by this mutual friend. You remember every detail of that date, what I wore, etc. I claim to remember nothing at all, I say I don't even remember going on the date. I lied. I remember. I just say I don't remember because it is easier than admitting how much of a snobbish bitch I was. I was too wrapped up over your acne problem to give you a fair chance, too busy staring at your face to notice what a gentleman you were. That is why I never answered your calls. Because of my snobbery and shallowness, I spent the next three years in a relationship with a hot guy whose favorite past time was beating the living shit out of me instead of in a relationship with wonderful you. When I met you again at that party and you treated me so nicely after what I did to you, I felt ashamed. And now that you are the handsome one and I am overweight and frumpy after giving birth to two kids, you could do the same thing back to me, but you don't. You are the only thing that makes me feel like a woman, you tell me every day how beautiful I am, and when we are in the mall and girls check you out and you just smile and put your arm around me, I melt. Not to mention the fact that you are an AWESOME father, you let me sleep in EVERY day while you get up with the girls, you change more diapers than I do, and you cook dinner every night after working all day, all the time telling me to relax. I will never, ever, ever judge anyone ever again based solely on their looks. I hope you can forgive me.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
True Wife Confession 48 Hours
Confession #471
You know how the dog begs at the table? And we both agreed that the begging
must stop? And you said you would train him, but I couldn't sneak food to
him behind your back because you didn't want to be the bad cop to my good
cop? Yeah, I feed him all the time behind your back. He totally loves me
more now. Sorry.
Confession #472
Thank you for telling me that I'm "hot" when I express self-doubt.
Thank you for telling me that I'm hot when I wear my glasses.
Thanks, especially, for telling me that I'm hot "on the inside," and that
that's what matters to you most.
Confession #473
If you scratch your back with my good knives again I will scream! It's gross.
Confession #474
Dear ex:
Does your current wife know that you were calling me while you two were
dating? Do you remember saying "But it's just not as good?" A year later
and you were married. Doesn't it strike her (and you) as peculiar that
there are so many similarities between her and I? (I won't mention them
here, because I'd feel terrible if she ever came across it -- they're
specific and you probably remember the incidents I'm talking about.) I feel
so damn bad for her, and I really keep hoping that it's working out for you
two, and that you've learned to be kinder. I'm not all that, and I'm not
trying to set myself up as some paragon... it just seems very strange. I
bump into you guys frequently, and I always wonder, and I find myself hoping
that she's happy....
Confession #475
I am sad and angry beyond words that your pot-smoking never stopped in all the years we've been married. We've had so many fights about it I've stopped counting. Your reasoning and casual attitude about it steps way over the boundry lines of what I have ever thought was ok. I compromised my own morals because I love you so much. I hate myself for it....and I'm resentful to you because of it.
Mostly
because
our
son
starting
smoking
it
too.
Confession # 476
I don't love you anymore. I know when we had our "heart to heart" a few weeks ago that I told you I was okay and I'm better, but I'm not, my feelings haven't changed at all. I want to be out of this marriage. You are a good father and we have fun together and we still laugh a lot, but that's not enough for me, I'm just not in love with you. I feel like I'm leaving for the wrong reasons sometimes, but at the same time I feel like I'm staying for the wrong reasons too. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life either. I don't think I'll ever have the life with you that I want and honestly I knew that from the very beginning. I don't think I am your equal and I really don't think you are happy with me either, but I don't know your reason for staying. When you told me a while back that you had more reasons to leave ME than for me to leave you, that pretty much sealed the deal for me. I know I have my faults too and I've done things that have hurt you, so I'm not putting all of the blame on you. I've just grown up and my heart has changed and I wish I could do this without hurting you or anyone else.
Confession #477
I hate you right now. If you offer to help, then help. Do it without the grudging silence and short answers. You make it really hard to appreciate what you do around here when you suck all of the joy out of the house. You are no fun whatsoever anymore. I am screaming inside at the silence. Like I said, I hate you right now, in spite of the fact that I really do love you.
Confession #478
I am so thankful that you decided to get off your lazy, alcoholic ass and abandon the kids and I two months ago. Life hasn't been this good in 5 years, thanks to you. You spent those years emotionally abusing me because you made the decision to move with me, 1200 miles away from your emotionally unstable family. Stop blaming everyone else and treating everyone else like crap for your own decisions. When will you ever grow up? You cheated on me with a fat slob from your job, and I decided to bite the bullet and stay in the relationship. I tried for a year to work on things with you. Little did I know you were busy being a closet alcoholic. I found your liquor bottles hidden all over the house, and your urine filled beer bottles under your desk. You lazy pig. You think that moving back with your parents is going to change you? Change of scenery maybe, but you'll never change. And don't threaten me one more time to steal the kids from me because I will have your stupid ass in jail before you can say "you're an evil bitch" one last time. You said that you only stayed with me so that you could be around the kids you supposedly love so much. So, why haven't you called them for weeks? They are 4 years old, you moron. They hurt. I hope the whore you are sleeping with that works for your father gives you some sort of nasty disease that makes your pathetic-excuse-for-a-genitalia turn black and fall off in your hand as you masterbate in the shower. PIG.
Confession #479
For gods sake. You are a mechanic by trade. Don't you think that you could change the oil in my car without me nagging you to do it for 6 weeks or an extra 1000 miles? Either that or show me how to do it. I would do it if you would just show me how. And when you DO wait that extra 1000 miles, don't bitch at me that it is supposed to be done every 3000. I have been telling you that it needed be done for over a MONTH now. I would go to Jiffy Lube, but the last time I gave up on you doing the oil change and went there you FREAKED OUT!
Confession #480
The closest I ever came to commiting violence against another person was
with you.
You used to say that "make-up sex is the best," and that time we "made up"
after I was sure you cheated on me... I was on top, and I looked down at
your closed eyes and ecstatic expression, and I had an instant vision of
slapping you across the face as hard as I possibly could while fucking you.
The contrast of those two actions, real and imaginary, scared me so badly.
It was very powerful, and I hope I never feel that way about anyone again in
my life.
I'm so glad I was able to walk away for good.
You know how the dog begs at the table? And we both agreed that the begging
must stop? And you said you would train him, but I couldn't sneak food to
him behind your back because you didn't want to be the bad cop to my good
cop? Yeah, I feed him all the time behind your back. He totally loves me
more now. Sorry.
Confession #472
Thank you for telling me that I'm "hot" when I express self-doubt.
Thank you for telling me that I'm hot when I wear my glasses.
Thanks, especially, for telling me that I'm hot "on the inside," and that
that's what matters to you most.
Confession #473
If you scratch your back with my good knives again I will scream! It's gross.
Confession #474
Dear ex:
Does your current wife know that you were calling me while you two were
dating? Do you remember saying "But it's just not as good?" A year later
and you were married. Doesn't it strike her (and you) as peculiar that
there are so many similarities between her and I? (I won't mention them
here, because I'd feel terrible if she ever came across it -- they're
specific and you probably remember the incidents I'm talking about.) I feel
so damn bad for her, and I really keep hoping that it's working out for you
two, and that you've learned to be kinder. I'm not all that, and I'm not
trying to set myself up as some paragon... it just seems very strange. I
bump into you guys frequently, and I always wonder, and I find myself hoping
that she's happy....
Confession #475
I am sad and angry beyond words that your pot-smoking never stopped in all the years we've been married. We've had so many fights about it I've stopped counting. Your reasoning and casual attitude about it steps way over the boundry lines of what I have ever thought was ok. I compromised my own morals because I love you so much. I hate myself for it....and I'm resentful to you because of it.
Mostly
because
our
son
starting
smoking
it
too.
Confession # 476
I don't love you anymore. I know when we had our "heart to heart" a few weeks ago that I told you I was okay and I'm better, but I'm not, my feelings haven't changed at all. I want to be out of this marriage. You are a good father and we have fun together and we still laugh a lot, but that's not enough for me, I'm just not in love with you. I feel like I'm leaving for the wrong reasons sometimes, but at the same time I feel like I'm staying for the wrong reasons too. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life either. I don't think I'll ever have the life with you that I want and honestly I knew that from the very beginning. I don't think I am your equal and I really don't think you are happy with me either, but I don't know your reason for staying. When you told me a while back that you had more reasons to leave ME than for me to leave you, that pretty much sealed the deal for me. I know I have my faults too and I've done things that have hurt you, so I'm not putting all of the blame on you. I've just grown up and my heart has changed and I wish I could do this without hurting you or anyone else.
Confession #477
I hate you right now. If you offer to help, then help. Do it without the grudging silence and short answers. You make it really hard to appreciate what you do around here when you suck all of the joy out of the house. You are no fun whatsoever anymore. I am screaming inside at the silence. Like I said, I hate you right now, in spite of the fact that I really do love you.
Confession #478
I am so thankful that you decided to get off your lazy, alcoholic ass and abandon the kids and I two months ago. Life hasn't been this good in 5 years, thanks to you. You spent those years emotionally abusing me because you made the decision to move with me, 1200 miles away from your emotionally unstable family. Stop blaming everyone else and treating everyone else like crap for your own decisions. When will you ever grow up? You cheated on me with a fat slob from your job, and I decided to bite the bullet and stay in the relationship. I tried for a year to work on things with you. Little did I know you were busy being a closet alcoholic. I found your liquor bottles hidden all over the house, and your urine filled beer bottles under your desk. You lazy pig. You think that moving back with your parents is going to change you? Change of scenery maybe, but you'll never change. And don't threaten me one more time to steal the kids from me because I will have your stupid ass in jail before you can say "you're an evil bitch" one last time. You said that you only stayed with me so that you could be around the kids you supposedly love so much. So, why haven't you called them for weeks? They are 4 years old, you moron. They hurt. I hope the whore you are sleeping with that works for your father gives you some sort of nasty disease that makes your pathetic-excuse-for-a-genitalia turn black and fall off in your hand as you masterbate in the shower. PIG.
Confession #479
For gods sake. You are a mechanic by trade. Don't you think that you could change the oil in my car without me nagging you to do it for 6 weeks or an extra 1000 miles? Either that or show me how to do it. I would do it if you would just show me how. And when you DO wait that extra 1000 miles, don't bitch at me that it is supposed to be done every 3000. I have been telling you that it needed be done for over a MONTH now. I would go to Jiffy Lube, but the last time I gave up on you doing the oil change and went there you FREAKED OUT!
Confession #480
The closest I ever came to commiting violence against another person was
with you.
You used to say that "make-up sex is the best," and that time we "made up"
after I was sure you cheated on me... I was on top, and I looked down at
your closed eyes and ecstatic expression, and I had an instant vision of
slapping you across the face as hard as I possibly could while fucking you.
The contrast of those two actions, real and imaginary, scared me so badly.
It was very powerful, and I hope I never feel that way about anyone again in
my life.
I'm so glad I was able to walk away for good.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
True Wife Confession 47 Milo Rambaldi's favorite number
Confession #461
n the month and a half since we've moved, you have done the laundry once and only because I told you that you weren't getting any until you did. You did one load and left the second in the washer for over a week, a fact which I discovered this morning. So, from now on, I'm only doing my laundry.
I dislike how I have to harass you to do chores. Yes, I know you'll get to them eventually but it shouldn't take a week to wash the dishes!
One of the reasons I am so nervous about the idea of having children with you in the future is because right now, even though we only have one pet, a cat, you never ever hear her whine at night. So it's only me who ever gets up to check on her and see why she is being so annoying. If we have a baby and I am the only one who ever gets up to check on it, I swear to god I will leave you. I cannot be in a relationship where the responsibilities of child-rearing are not shared equally.
Confession #462
You're a fucker. I hate it that you say because our daughter is a lesbian that she will not be welcome in our house when she is "grown up". How do you think that will make her feel?? Do you honestly think I would not make our daughter feel welcome?! FUCKER! Remember this darling husband, YOU can be replaced, she cannot. This is my house too. Did I mention you were a fucker?
Confession #463
Tonight, when I was bent over, picking up our child's toys, and you leaned in and touched my crotch, I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of you. I'm on the rag. Don't you get it? DON'T TOUCH MY CROTCH WHEN I AM BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. A more appropriate gesture would have been to hand me the jar of peanut butter and a large chocolate bar. Had you done that instead, you might have gotten a blow job later-instead, you get nothing. One day you might learn-but the odds aren't good.
Asking me why my period is taking so long to get over with is just dumb. You're not the one bleeding like the aforementioned stuck pig, nor do you have a sensation in your stomach much like that of an elephant sitting on your gut. You have no right to ask, because even if I wasn't on the rag, I still would not want to have sex with you tonight.
Confession # 464
When you choose to stay up until 1am watching your wrestling shit, do NOT whine and complain and be crabby to me in the morning because you're tired and have to go to work. You were stupid. Learn from your mistakes.
When I come up with a plan, you tell me it's wrong and dumb. So we do things your way. It falls apart. So you suggest the VERY method I had suggested in the first place and declare it your own idea. And I applaud you and sing your praises to your face because you are either too stupid to remember it was my idea first, or too embarrassed to admit it. So I let you go on, thinking you are the MAN when in reality I'm the brains of this operation.
Confession #465
If it weren't for me you would go to work buck naked every single day. And you would starve while you were there. And you'd walk home because you can't remember to put gas in the car or get the oil changed.
I do appreciate you taking me to a Japanese restaurant for our anniversary. I know how much you hate Asian cuisine. You even tried sushi for the first time. I know you hated most of the meal but it means so much to me that you smiled and choked down most of what was on your plate in an attempt to make my day. That was really sweet.
Confession #466
Please do not suggest that I go have some 'me time'. You only suggest this when you are gearing up for a night of playing cards with the guys and are trying to avoid the guilt trip you lay all on yourself. GO. Have fun. I don't care. I will gladly stay home, put our child to bed, and order Chinese food, since I can never get it because you hate it so much.
On my days off, as you leave for work, don't bother suggesting I 'take it easy' and try to get some rest while our daughter is at school. I know you are going to call me 10 minutes later to ask me something stupid. I know you are going to call 5 more time before lunch to ask me more dumb questions. So I just do stuff around the house because even when you're not home, I can't get a moment's peace.
Confession #467
I hate your family. Your sister is a bitch. Your mom is too needy and your father is a perv.
Confession #468
i wish just one time you would tell me I'm sexy. You tell me I look pretty.
or that this outfit looks good on me. Never once have you told me I'm sexy.
I hate that many other men tell me this all the time. And all it makes me do
is wish that it was YOU telling me that. I think you're sexy. All the time.
and I know you don't think I'm sexy. It breaks my heart. It has for years.
Confession #469
I know fabric softener makes your skin itchy. Sometimes, I use it anyway. At
first, I thought the allergy was all in your head. But interestingly enough,
you're right – fabric softener DOES make your skin itch. Every time I use
it, you complain a few days later about your skin being dry and itchy. I
feel guilty, but I really love how fluffy the towels are when I use
softener.
Confession #470
I'm so glad that after a year, you have finally made a friend at work. I'm
trying desperately not to freak out that the friend is a woman. I know she's
happily married. I know her life revolves around her newborn. I know you're
not interested in her at all. I still freak out about it a little.
n the month and a half since we've moved, you have done the laundry once and only because I told you that you weren't getting any until you did. You did one load and left the second in the washer for over a week, a fact which I discovered this morning. So, from now on, I'm only doing my laundry.
I dislike how I have to harass you to do chores. Yes, I know you'll get to them eventually but it shouldn't take a week to wash the dishes!
One of the reasons I am so nervous about the idea of having children with you in the future is because right now, even though we only have one pet, a cat, you never ever hear her whine at night. So it's only me who ever gets up to check on her and see why she is being so annoying. If we have a baby and I am the only one who ever gets up to check on it, I swear to god I will leave you. I cannot be in a relationship where the responsibilities of child-rearing are not shared equally.
Confession #462
You're a fucker. I hate it that you say because our daughter is a lesbian that she will not be welcome in our house when she is "grown up". How do you think that will make her feel?? Do you honestly think I would not make our daughter feel welcome?! FUCKER! Remember this darling husband, YOU can be replaced, she cannot. This is my house too. Did I mention you were a fucker?
Confession #463
Tonight, when I was bent over, picking up our child's toys, and you leaned in and touched my crotch, I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of you. I'm on the rag. Don't you get it? DON'T TOUCH MY CROTCH WHEN I AM BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. A more appropriate gesture would have been to hand me the jar of peanut butter and a large chocolate bar. Had you done that instead, you might have gotten a blow job later-instead, you get nothing. One day you might learn-but the odds aren't good.
Asking me why my period is taking so long to get over with is just dumb. You're not the one bleeding like the aforementioned stuck pig, nor do you have a sensation in your stomach much like that of an elephant sitting on your gut. You have no right to ask, because even if I wasn't on the rag, I still would not want to have sex with you tonight.
Confession # 464
When you choose to stay up until 1am watching your wrestling shit, do NOT whine and complain and be crabby to me in the morning because you're tired and have to go to work. You were stupid. Learn from your mistakes.
When I come up with a plan, you tell me it's wrong and dumb. So we do things your way. It falls apart. So you suggest the VERY method I had suggested in the first place and declare it your own idea. And I applaud you and sing your praises to your face because you are either too stupid to remember it was my idea first, or too embarrassed to admit it. So I let you go on, thinking you are the MAN when in reality I'm the brains of this operation.
Confession #465
If it weren't for me you would go to work buck naked every single day. And you would starve while you were there. And you'd walk home because you can't remember to put gas in the car or get the oil changed.
I do appreciate you taking me to a Japanese restaurant for our anniversary. I know how much you hate Asian cuisine. You even tried sushi for the first time. I know you hated most of the meal but it means so much to me that you smiled and choked down most of what was on your plate in an attempt to make my day. That was really sweet.
Confession #466
Please do not suggest that I go have some 'me time'. You only suggest this when you are gearing up for a night of playing cards with the guys and are trying to avoid the guilt trip you lay all on yourself. GO. Have fun. I don't care. I will gladly stay home, put our child to bed, and order Chinese food, since I can never get it because you hate it so much.
On my days off, as you leave for work, don't bother suggesting I 'take it easy' and try to get some rest while our daughter is at school. I know you are going to call me 10 minutes later to ask me something stupid. I know you are going to call 5 more time before lunch to ask me more dumb questions. So I just do stuff around the house because even when you're not home, I can't get a moment's peace.
Confession #467
I hate your family. Your sister is a bitch. Your mom is too needy and your father is a perv.
Confession #468
i wish just one time you would tell me I'm sexy. You tell me I look pretty.
or that this outfit looks good on me. Never once have you told me I'm sexy.
I hate that many other men tell me this all the time. And all it makes me do
is wish that it was YOU telling me that. I think you're sexy. All the time.
and I know you don't think I'm sexy. It breaks my heart. It has for years.
Confession #469
I know fabric softener makes your skin itchy. Sometimes, I use it anyway. At
first, I thought the allergy was all in your head. But interestingly enough,
you're right – fabric softener DOES make your skin itch. Every time I use
it, you complain a few days later about your skin being dry and itchy. I
feel guilty, but I really love how fluffy the towels are when I use
softener.
Confession #470
I'm so glad that after a year, you have finally made a friend at work. I'm
trying desperately not to freak out that the friend is a woman. I know she's
happily married. I know her life revolves around her newborn. I know you're
not interested in her at all. I still freak out about it a little.
Monday, August 14, 2006
True Wife Confession 46 peaks of the Adirondak mountain range
Confession #451
I'm tired of feeling like the "assumed parent". Just because I stay at home with our daughter doesn't mean that I do nothing all day. When you come home from work, I am still the one that has to feed her, bathe her, and put her to bed. God forbid you actually step in and DO SOMETHING without me having to beg you. I know you love her and I'm glad you are able to support us, but please just give me a break from time to time. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a job too, you know.
Confession #452
Darling, even though you frequently forget to do what I ask you to do, so
that I have to nag, and even though you don't always follow through on your
promises (still no driver's license, eh?), the past three weeks have
reminded me why I love you. You were so wonderful throughout my dear
friend's sickness and death, you were so amazing with everything about
buying the new house. You have held me close when I was down and held my
hand through all the fear and worries. You do so much every day to make me
happy, and you are a wonderful man. I missed you so much while you were
gone and it made me so happy to be with you again. I love you so much, and
I know that I don't always appreciate you like I should - I'll try harder.
Confession #453
Ok- I might NOT be your wife (thank GOODNESS for that!), but I am your one and ONLY employee and I see you EVERYDAY so it's kinda like I'm sickly married to you. When you come downstairs CHEWING in my ear, breathing over me, just STARING at me on HOLD with an insurance company, it IRRITATES me and I want to SLAP you. The fact that I'm 24 years old with a bachelors degree and will have my masters in DEC. and I've been here for SIX years AND I run your business AND if I left you couldnt even train anyone because you dont know what youre doing AND you pay me $10 an HOUR and you EXPECT me to make phone calls to insurance companys for money so YOU can be richer? YEA OK....I "pretend" I am making calls because I can hear when you're coming down the stairs so I just hit redial and pretend I am on "hold" so you can stare at me. You want to be CHEAP with me? I'll be CHEAP with you -- I feel REALLY lucky that I am NOT your wife, although she pisses me the fuck off too with her fucking nose in the air like shes Princess Diana...I can't wait to leave next month...oh, and I wrote this email WHILE I am on you're time..I AM a good worker but not when you screw me!
Confession #454
I just really want my own wife. Not for the sex, although that could probably be fun. I want to come home to a clean house. I want the laundry to be done and folded. I want the dishes to magically clear off the table and that the kitchen is clean at night. Coffee done at night, sheets changed, clothes picked up...
I love you dear husband, but why the fuck can't you clean up after yourself? Once a month just because cause you thought I needed the help does.not.cut.it. In fact, it pisses me off and you wonder why I act so ugly when you say it so sweetly. AUGH. I can almost handle cleaning up after the kids by myself, but damn, man, can you not wipe your bathroom floor to remove the nastiness that you put there?
I work - yes my job is easy and pays really well, but I also do 90% of the childcare and 90% of the cooking and cleaning. You cutting the grass doesn't compare. Where is my maid? And wait, why is the wife the defacto maid? Now I'm completely pissed off!
Confession #455
I do not feel worthy to be your wife. We have everything we need and want.
You treat me like a queen. You are a fabulous husband and father I couldnt
ask for more. After work, you come down and see the kids, clean up the
kitchen, living room, and still wash the dishes after dinner. I often feel
frustrated as I am not up to your standards of what a wife should be or do.
I am trying to get better with cleaning things up the way you would want
them to be done. Please be patient with me, I am trying. I love you.
Confession #456
You just don't get it. Even after two decades together.
When I'm mad, upset, ranting out of control, do NOT look at me like I'm some bitch from hell and never walk away. All you need to do is wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, kiss the top of my head and say "it'll be all right" or say nothing at all. I melt. My mood is instantly better. Don't underestimate the power of touch.
Confession #457
dear husband,
to me you are perfection. your walk, your smile, your eyes, your everything is perfection.
I just wish I wasnt so imperfect, then maybe, just maybe I could feel better about myself
and better about loving you
Confession #458
I swear. to. god. if you piss on the floor by the toilet one more time I'm going to scream! Why is it so hard for you to hit the toilet? I understand that at night it is hard to see where you are aiming but doesn't piss hitting water and piss hitting tile sound different? I call bullshit when you say you don't know when you are doing it. Have some common fucking courtesy to WIPE IT UP when you are done. GOD!
Confession #459
I love you more than life itself. Everyday I am thankful that you have stuck by me through thick and thin. But one day, I fear you'll see through me and you'll walk out the door. And that will be the day that I die. Until then, I am going to hold on as tight as I can.
Confession #460
You trust me too much. You don't have a problem with me going out without
you or staying out late with my guy friends. You don't mind the very deep
friendship that I have with my closest male friend. You never begrudge me a
night out and never seem to get jealous. It would be so easy for me to have
an affair. And I have thought about it on more than one occasion. But I
never do. I expect that it is your undying trust that keeps me trustworthy.
I'm tired of feeling like the "assumed parent". Just because I stay at home with our daughter doesn't mean that I do nothing all day. When you come home from work, I am still the one that has to feed her, bathe her, and put her to bed. God forbid you actually step in and DO SOMETHING without me having to beg you. I know you love her and I'm glad you are able to support us, but please just give me a break from time to time. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a job too, you know.
Confession #452
Darling, even though you frequently forget to do what I ask you to do, so
that I have to nag, and even though you don't always follow through on your
promises (still no driver's license, eh?), the past three weeks have
reminded me why I love you. You were so wonderful throughout my dear
friend's sickness and death, you were so amazing with everything about
buying the new house. You have held me close when I was down and held my
hand through all the fear and worries. You do so much every day to make me
happy, and you are a wonderful man. I missed you so much while you were
gone and it made me so happy to be with you again. I love you so much, and
I know that I don't always appreciate you like I should - I'll try harder.
Confession #453
Ok- I might NOT be your wife (thank GOODNESS for that!), but I am your one and ONLY employee and I see you EVERYDAY so it's kinda like I'm sickly married to you. When you come downstairs CHEWING in my ear, breathing over me, just STARING at me on HOLD with an insurance company, it IRRITATES me and I want to SLAP you. The fact that I'm 24 years old with a bachelors degree and will have my masters in DEC. and I've been here for SIX years AND I run your business AND if I left you couldnt even train anyone because you dont know what youre doing AND you pay me $10 an HOUR and you EXPECT me to make phone calls to insurance companys for money so YOU can be richer? YEA OK....I "pretend" I am making calls because I can hear when you're coming down the stairs so I just hit redial and pretend I am on "hold" so you can stare at me. You want to be CHEAP with me? I'll be CHEAP with you -- I feel REALLY lucky that I am NOT your wife, although she pisses me the fuck off too with her fucking nose in the air like shes Princess Diana...I can't wait to leave next month...oh, and I wrote this email WHILE I am on you're time..I AM a good worker but not when you screw me!
Confession #454
I just really want my own wife. Not for the sex, although that could probably be fun. I want to come home to a clean house. I want the laundry to be done and folded. I want the dishes to magically clear off the table and that the kitchen is clean at night. Coffee done at night, sheets changed, clothes picked up...
I love you dear husband, but why the fuck can't you clean up after yourself? Once a month just because cause you thought I needed the help does.not.cut.it. In fact, it pisses me off and you wonder why I act so ugly when you say it so sweetly. AUGH. I can almost handle cleaning up after the kids by myself, but damn, man, can you not wipe your bathroom floor to remove the nastiness that you put there?
I work - yes my job is easy and pays really well, but I also do 90% of the childcare and 90% of the cooking and cleaning. You cutting the grass doesn't compare. Where is my maid? And wait, why is the wife the defacto maid? Now I'm completely pissed off!
Confession #455
I do not feel worthy to be your wife. We have everything we need and want.
You treat me like a queen. You are a fabulous husband and father I couldnt
ask for more. After work, you come down and see the kids, clean up the
kitchen, living room, and still wash the dishes after dinner. I often feel
frustrated as I am not up to your standards of what a wife should be or do.
I am trying to get better with cleaning things up the way you would want
them to be done. Please be patient with me, I am trying. I love you.
Confession #456
You just don't get it. Even after two decades together.
When I'm mad, upset, ranting out of control, do NOT look at me like I'm some bitch from hell and never walk away. All you need to do is wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, kiss the top of my head and say "it'll be all right" or say nothing at all. I melt. My mood is instantly better. Don't underestimate the power of touch.
Confession #457
dear husband,
to me you are perfection. your walk, your smile, your eyes, your everything is perfection.
I just wish I wasnt so imperfect, then maybe, just maybe I could feel better about myself
and better about loving you
Confession #458
I swear. to. god. if you piss on the floor by the toilet one more time I'm going to scream! Why is it so hard for you to hit the toilet? I understand that at night it is hard to see where you are aiming but doesn't piss hitting water and piss hitting tile sound different? I call bullshit when you say you don't know when you are doing it. Have some common fucking courtesy to WIPE IT UP when you are done. GOD!
Confession #459
I love you more than life itself. Everyday I am thankful that you have stuck by me through thick and thin. But one day, I fear you'll see through me and you'll walk out the door. And that will be the day that I die. Until then, I am going to hold on as tight as I can.
Confession #460
You trust me too much. You don't have a problem with me going out without
you or staying out late with my guy friends. You don't mind the very deep
friendship that I have with my closest male friend. You never begrudge me a
night out and never seem to get jealous. It would be so easy for me to have
an affair. And I have thought about it on more than one occasion. But I
never do. I expect that it is your undying trust that keeps me trustworthy.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
True Wife Confession 45 revolutions per minute
Confession #451
Why in the world would you buy yourself a King size pillow when all we have are standard pillowcases?? You can be so stupid it makes me physically ill.
Confession #452
A lot of the time when you want something stupid and immature I just give in because that is a lot easier than watching you mope about the house for the next week in pity for yourself. Because seriously? Sometimes? You. Are. A. BITCH.
Confession #453
Go get some freakin' viagra. It's time. I hate that our sex life has become so one-sided. There are men about half your age using the damn stuff. What's the problem?
You're still sexy and desirable, but now I can't even achieve orgasm in our tried and true position. I know that the Paxil is taking its toll, but its been too long now. Geez, it must hurt your pride to know I can't orgasm with you anymore, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.
Maybe we both take comfort in knowing that my rabbit vibrator is mere steps away.
Confession #454
Why are you so irresponsible with money? You think just because I'm out of work for now that I have no say in anything, but what about all those times before when I supported you because you had no job? I'm in school so I can move up to a better job, not just laying around doing nothing! And why, oh why, do you think you shouldn't have to do anything with the kids? You helped make them.....one of them isn't even mine!! And you still expect me to do everything!! Yes, I know the little one might not be yours but you knew that from the start and said it didn't matter. But what you didn't know? I'm still sleeping with her "father".....I let you think it was over, but it really wasn't. I'm not going to leave you for him, but I'm not going to leave him for you either.
Confession #455
You really are the one for me. I knew I loved you when I saw you at 8, and today at 31 my heart still melts for you.I still get butterfly's when you look at me with your beautiful green eyes... You have and always will be my greatest friend and lover.
Though not perfect, You try everyday to be a better husband and father ,and for that I will give ONLY you my love and devotion.
I love you, and thank God everyday for giving me my soul mate.
Your Thankful Wife.
Confession #456
Your first, very brief (thank goodness!), very disastrous, meaningless mess of a marriage is the best thing that ever happened to us.
Many years later, you knew I was THE ONE (and only). You married me proper. We created this beautiful family (not in the back of a pickup truck but beautifully, in love, in our bed ON PURPOSE!) and we're so happy together that I have to pinch myself sometimes.
I know I can be hard to live with, yet you are so loving, forgiving and accommodating. Your patience is amazing.
In a way, I'm thankful for your ex-(non)wife. She taught you to recognize a good thing when you saw one. Her bad example taught you that there was a woman out there (ME!) who can appreciate a wonderful, loving, giving, hard working man and father like you. By being the horrible person she was (is?), she taught you in a round about way about TRUE love and TRUE commitment. It's what we have together. And we'll have it forever.
Confession #457
I wish I could love my mother as much as I do my mother-in-law. My mil has taught me so much over the years--I feel such a connection with her. It will kill me when she passes. On the other hand, my own mother still treats me as a child, not as the 40+ yr. old mother of 6 that I am.
She repeats the same haggard stories of silly things I did as a child. I am so sick of them. She treats her dog as a human, referring to herself as the dog's "mom". If she had to choose between the dog and me, the dog would win.
Serves me right.
Confession #458
I want us to separate and live in different places for awhile so I can
appreciate you again.
Confession #459
As much as I hate to ride your ass to brush your teeth, or kick you for the
times you somehow manage to get shit on the toilet seat, or scream at you
for having such narrow minded political views and never being able to let
ANYTHING go, I still love you more than I can put into words. Because for
all those times you drive me crazy, there are countless other times where
you cook my dinner and make my lunch for work...you worry about my well
being, you want to make me happy, you plan little surprises for me, you love
me really fat, just fat, and now kinda fat and saggy, and I know you'd
rather spend time with me than anyone else. These things mean more to me
than you will ever know.
Confession #460
Even though you treat me without consideration, regard, or respect: I still love you.
Even though you act as though my opinions don't matter to you, don't have worth to us, or don't mean anything to this household: I still love you.
Even though you behave as though my career is not important unless someone else is listening, is not valuable until; the bills are paid, is not relevant unless it affects you personally: I still love you.
And even though I am fucking someone else three times a week, sharing dreams with him, and loving him in the passionate way that you should be loving me: I still love you.
I just don't know how to leave you.
Why in the world would you buy yourself a King size pillow when all we have are standard pillowcases?? You can be so stupid it makes me physically ill.
Confession #452
A lot of the time when you want something stupid and immature I just give in because that is a lot easier than watching you mope about the house for the next week in pity for yourself. Because seriously? Sometimes? You. Are. A. BITCH.
Confession #453
Go get some freakin' viagra. It's time. I hate that our sex life has become so one-sided. There are men about half your age using the damn stuff. What's the problem?
You're still sexy and desirable, but now I can't even achieve orgasm in our tried and true position. I know that the Paxil is taking its toll, but its been too long now. Geez, it must hurt your pride to know I can't orgasm with you anymore, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.
Maybe we both take comfort in knowing that my rabbit vibrator is mere steps away.
Confession #454
Why are you so irresponsible with money? You think just because I'm out of work for now that I have no say in anything, but what about all those times before when I supported you because you had no job? I'm in school so I can move up to a better job, not just laying around doing nothing! And why, oh why, do you think you shouldn't have to do anything with the kids? You helped make them.....one of them isn't even mine!! And you still expect me to do everything!! Yes, I know the little one might not be yours but you knew that from the start and said it didn't matter. But what you didn't know? I'm still sleeping with her "father".....I let you think it was over, but it really wasn't. I'm not going to leave you for him, but I'm not going to leave him for you either.
Confession #455
You really are the one for me. I knew I loved you when I saw you at 8, and today at 31 my heart still melts for you.I still get butterfly's when you look at me with your beautiful green eyes... You have and always will be my greatest friend and lover.
Though not perfect, You try everyday to be a better husband and father ,and for that I will give ONLY you my love and devotion.
I love you, and thank God everyday for giving me my soul mate.
Your Thankful Wife.
Confession #456
Your first, very brief (thank goodness!), very disastrous, meaningless mess of a marriage is the best thing that ever happened to us.
Many years later, you knew I was THE ONE (and only). You married me proper. We created this beautiful family (not in the back of a pickup truck but beautifully, in love, in our bed ON PURPOSE!) and we're so happy together that I have to pinch myself sometimes.
I know I can be hard to live with, yet you are so loving, forgiving and accommodating. Your patience is amazing.
In a way, I'm thankful for your ex-(non)wife. She taught you to recognize a good thing when you saw one. Her bad example taught you that there was a woman out there (ME!) who can appreciate a wonderful, loving, giving, hard working man and father like you. By being the horrible person she was (is?), she taught you in a round about way about TRUE love and TRUE commitment. It's what we have together. And we'll have it forever.
Confession #457
I wish I could love my mother as much as I do my mother-in-law. My mil has taught me so much over the years--I feel such a connection with her. It will kill me when she passes. On the other hand, my own mother still treats me as a child, not as the 40+ yr. old mother of 6 that I am.
She repeats the same haggard stories of silly things I did as a child. I am so sick of them. She treats her dog as a human, referring to herself as the dog's "mom". If she had to choose between the dog and me, the dog would win.
Serves me right.
Confession #458
I want us to separate and live in different places for awhile so I can
appreciate you again.
Confession #459
As much as I hate to ride your ass to brush your teeth, or kick you for the
times you somehow manage to get shit on the toilet seat, or scream at you
for having such narrow minded political views and never being able to let
ANYTHING go, I still love you more than I can put into words. Because for
all those times you drive me crazy, there are countless other times where
you cook my dinner and make my lunch for work...you worry about my well
being, you want to make me happy, you plan little surprises for me, you love
me really fat, just fat, and now kinda fat and saggy, and I know you'd
rather spend time with me than anyone else. These things mean more to me
than you will ever know.
Confession #460
Even though you treat me without consideration, regard, or respect: I still love you.
Even though you act as though my opinions don't matter to you, don't have worth to us, or don't mean anything to this household: I still love you.
Even though you behave as though my career is not important unless someone else is listening, is not valuable until; the bills are paid, is not relevant unless it affects you personally: I still love you.
And even though I am fucking someone else three times a week, sharing dreams with him, and loving him in the passionate way that you should be loving me: I still love you.
I just don't know how to leave you.
Friday, August 11, 2006
True Wife Confession 44 Magnum
Confession #441
When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.
Confession #442
Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
but then...
It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!
Confession #443
You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.
Confession #444
Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!
And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.
When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!
Confession #445
I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.
Confession #446
The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.
Confession #447
You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.
You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.
One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.
Confession #448
I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.
Confession #449
I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....
Confession #450
Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.
When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.
Confession #442
Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
but then...
It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!
Confession #443
You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.
Confession #444
Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!
And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.
When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!
Confession #445
I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.
Confession #446
The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.
Confession #447
You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.
You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.
One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.
Confession #448
I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.
Confession #449
I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....
Confession #450
Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
True Wife Confession 43 distinct types of cheese
Confession #431
I love you. I love your mother, your sister & your awesome aunt & uncle from California. The reason why I don't want a baby shower, is because your other relatives that do live in the same town are two-faced-ass-holes. You think I don't know what they say about me? The fact that they have a problem that I'm black & white is a big reason why I don't want them near our son after he's born. Its the same bull-shit I had to put up with my racist grandparents.
Confession #432
We are going to be married soon, which I am ridiculously excited about
because you are the most wonderful man I could possibly ask for.
However, I weigh 100 pounds more than you and I am terrified that one day
you'll realize you could do better. When we're out in public I assume
everyone is wondering how that fat girl snagged that hot guy. I hate that I
can't sit on your lap, that you can't pick me up during sex, and that I
can't let you touch or kiss my stomach like you want to. You tell me
all the time how much you love my body and my spirit, and maybe
eventually I'll believe it. But for now, I'll keep sobbing on the inside when we
watch things like Miss Universe and when we go ride rollercoasters and
my fat ass won't fit and I have to get out in front of everyone. Thank
you for not riding the rollercoaster without me.
Confession #433
i love my husband but i hate his job and i can't tell him that i his job. i know he's doing it for us and the country, but i can't handle the nights laying awake alone in our bed. Thinking about our kids wondering if i will have to raise our kids alone and telling them why their dad can't be with them anymore
Confession #434
I left my exhusband's telephone number on a wall, of a public restroom.
I wonder how many calls he got?
Confession #435
Do you remember the time you pulled my hair and said I was worthless? (July 1992) Well, I put that stinky onion under your car seat. Remember how you couldn't figure out where the stink was coming from???? You found the the onion and thought it fell out of the grocery bag. NOPE!! I put it there.
Confession #436
I secretly believe that you have never truly loved me but stay with me because of 1) the fact that I earn a steadier income than you, and 2) the kids. I think now that maybe I should have left you when you had that online affair. By your own admission, it was only because the other woman got cold feet that you never met and had real sex. Not that what I read in your e-mails to each other wasn't a reasonable enough facsimile. I hate you for introducing so much doubt about myself into my life. You are narcissistic, lazy, conceited, and arrogant. You criticize me for doing things you do yourself. You're bossy. I can't count on you to do anything you say you'll do. In order to be with you, I hurt a good and decent man, even if I wasn't in love with him. I think I've been paid back any pain I caused. If it wasn't for our children, I'd say it was a complete disaster and a mistake. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be with you. You really don't deserve me.
Confession #437
You took me out for my "Big Birthday Dinner" and got mad that I got seated without you. You made me cry on my birthday. Then to cap off the night, you asked me to marry you. Yeah, that really was a stunned silence. Fuck you and your very pretty ring. You are an alcoholic prick who takes your frustrations out on the people around you. Go ahead, ask me when we're going to have another baby. Stall your family on when we're going to set the date. I know the answer, do you?
The worst part of it is, I could have loved you.
Confession #438
Honey....I am truly sorry....Your feet really,really........Stink!!
Confession #439
i don't want to have kids with you. THERE! i've said it. i wish that i could get my tubes tied just so i don't have the option to have them with YOU. you are immature and irresponsible and i know that you would be a terrible dad.
you are an alcoholic. you drink 12 beer a day and then pass out on our couch and wonder why i work three jobs just to get away from you.
i hate your family. i always have, always will.
your sister is an adult. why must we spend EVERY birthday with her? she is 28 now...time to move on and find her OWN life.
i hate your entire family: from your over bearing parents to your selfish and narcissistic sister to your immature brother and his wife. you all are self-absorbed and selfish jerks.
Confession #440
I wish you could understand how unhappy I am. I am
only staying with you because I can't support myself
and our children alone. I tell you I'm unhappy, you
promise to change, you never do. I'm not exactly
seeking someone to leave you for at the moment, but I
find myself "forgetting" my to wear my wedding ring
when I go out. Secretly hoping for a nice guy to hit
on me. Fall in love with me. Fall in love with our
children. Take care of us so I don't need to stay with
you. I look at men at the gym, the grocery store, dads
at the park...and wonder....will this be the one?
I used to want to make this marriage work, but not
anymore. Sadly, you see nothing wrong with married
people who spend no time together. We're not much more
than roommates. That's fine. It just gives me more
opportunity to find the REAL man of my dreams.
I love you. I love your mother, your sister & your awesome aunt & uncle from California. The reason why I don't want a baby shower, is because your other relatives that do live in the same town are two-faced-ass-holes. You think I don't know what they say about me? The fact that they have a problem that I'm black & white is a big reason why I don't want them near our son after he's born. Its the same bull-shit I had to put up with my racist grandparents.
Confession #432
We are going to be married soon, which I am ridiculously excited about
because you are the most wonderful man I could possibly ask for.
However, I weigh 100 pounds more than you and I am terrified that one day
you'll realize you could do better. When we're out in public I assume
everyone is wondering how that fat girl snagged that hot guy. I hate that I
can't sit on your lap, that you can't pick me up during sex, and that I
can't let you touch or kiss my stomach like you want to. You tell me
all the time how much you love my body and my spirit, and maybe
eventually I'll believe it. But for now, I'll keep sobbing on the inside when we
watch things like Miss Universe and when we go ride rollercoasters and
my fat ass won't fit and I have to get out in front of everyone. Thank
you for not riding the rollercoaster without me.
Confession #433
i love my husband but i hate his job and i can't tell him that i his job. i know he's doing it for us and the country, but i can't handle the nights laying awake alone in our bed. Thinking about our kids wondering if i will have to raise our kids alone and telling them why their dad can't be with them anymore
Confession #434
I left my exhusband's telephone number on a wall, of a public restroom.
I wonder how many calls he got?
Confession #435
Do you remember the time you pulled my hair and said I was worthless? (July 1992) Well, I put that stinky onion under your car seat. Remember how you couldn't figure out where the stink was coming from???? You found the the onion and thought it fell out of the grocery bag. NOPE!! I put it there.
Confession #436
I secretly believe that you have never truly loved me but stay with me because of 1) the fact that I earn a steadier income than you, and 2) the kids. I think now that maybe I should have left you when you had that online affair. By your own admission, it was only because the other woman got cold feet that you never met and had real sex. Not that what I read in your e-mails to each other wasn't a reasonable enough facsimile. I hate you for introducing so much doubt about myself into my life. You are narcissistic, lazy, conceited, and arrogant. You criticize me for doing things you do yourself. You're bossy. I can't count on you to do anything you say you'll do. In order to be with you, I hurt a good and decent man, even if I wasn't in love with him. I think I've been paid back any pain I caused. If it wasn't for our children, I'd say it was a complete disaster and a mistake. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be with you. You really don't deserve me.
Confession #437
You took me out for my "Big Birthday Dinner" and got mad that I got seated without you. You made me cry on my birthday. Then to cap off the night, you asked me to marry you. Yeah, that really was a stunned silence. Fuck you and your very pretty ring. You are an alcoholic prick who takes your frustrations out on the people around you. Go ahead, ask me when we're going to have another baby. Stall your family on when we're going to set the date. I know the answer, do you?
The worst part of it is, I could have loved you.
Confession #438
Honey....I am truly sorry....Your feet really,really........Stink!!
Confession #439
i don't want to have kids with you. THERE! i've said it. i wish that i could get my tubes tied just so i don't have the option to have them with YOU. you are immature and irresponsible and i know that you would be a terrible dad.
you are an alcoholic. you drink 12 beer a day and then pass out on our couch and wonder why i work three jobs just to get away from you.
i hate your family. i always have, always will.
your sister is an adult. why must we spend EVERY birthday with her? she is 28 now...time to move on and find her OWN life.
i hate your entire family: from your over bearing parents to your selfish and narcissistic sister to your immature brother and his wife. you all are self-absorbed and selfish jerks.
Confession #440
I wish you could understand how unhappy I am. I am
only staying with you because I can't support myself
and our children alone. I tell you I'm unhappy, you
promise to change, you never do. I'm not exactly
seeking someone to leave you for at the moment, but I
find myself "forgetting" my to wear my wedding ring
when I go out. Secretly hoping for a nice guy to hit
on me. Fall in love with me. Fall in love with our
children. Take care of us so I don't need to stay with
you. I look at men at the gym, the grocery store, dads
at the park...and wonder....will this be the one?
I used to want to make this marriage work, but not
anymore. Sadly, you see nothing wrong with married
people who spend no time together. We're not much more
than roommates. That's fine. It just gives me more
opportunity to find the REAL man of my dreams.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
True Wife Confession 42 is Answer to The Ultimate Question Of Life, the Universe and Everything
Confession #421
I love you. I love our life. You are a fantastic father and provider. But
oh Lord help me you suck in bed. I haven't had an orgasm with you in the
room in about 16 yrs. I think about having an affair ONLY to have good sex.
One day I probably will do it. Consider this an apology in advance.
Confession #422
I know about her. I know that you were going to leave your family for her and your "strictly platonic relationship" with her. I hate you for that. I hate you for the fact that you said that you didn't leave because you have "obligations". Well guess what asshole!! I'm not an "obligation"! I'm a fucking human being with feelings! And our 5 year old daughter has feelings too moron! Do you honestly believe that the only reason I'm looking for a job is to "help save up money for a house."? You really are a stupid ass!
Confession #423
Where to begin? I'm sick to death of having you use your job as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Not even that it's the top excuse, because usually it's your failsafe, ace in the hole excuse. The final, "I work and pull in a paycheck therefore any behavior is excusable" excuse.
This morning I said, "It just seems like you aren't that interested in me."
Your reply, "I'm on my way out the door, I have to go to work."
WTF does that have to do with ANYTHING? How about, "Of course I am, I love you, I think you're gorgeous! I can't wait to get home and be with you!" Talk about scoring tons of points. Instead you bring up work and make me feel bad for saying ANYTHING negative to you at all.
Everything comes down to you having a job and me being a stay at home mom. Even though you say you are proud that your wife stays home with the kids... you throw your job in my face anytime I ask you to do something differently, as if I am not allowed to voice complaints because I don't "work." I'm sick of it.
Confession #424
I hate that you never compliment me. I've never been with anyone who didn't
occasionally say nice things about my appearance. From the looks I get from
strangers, I know I'm not ugly, so why is it that you can't ever say, "Hey,
you're not looking so bad today!" It wouldn't take much, just anything,
really. I've told you many times that I really need a nice comment every
now and then, and you say you will, but you never do (although, really, no
matter what Dr. Phil says, if I have to tell you to compliment me, it's not
a true compliment). I know I shouldn't base my self esteem on your
compliments, but after so many years of this, I've decided there's a few
things I'm going to let the plastic surgeon fix. The sad part? It won't do
anything. I'm no fool. Logically I know you still won't compliment
me...but damn, you'll have paid for a sweet package for the next man, who
will tell me I'm the most beautiful thing he's seen. And because I love you
with all my heart, that's the last thing I want to happen, but because my
self-esteem is slowly disappearing, it probably will.
Confession #425
Oh god, where do I start? I hate kissing you because you can't kiss. You always suck my bottom lip and get slob on my face. And no, you're dick hasn't grown! What? Have you ever heard of a 30something year old man having a growth spurt? Your cock has always been small and it's because of that that I have to fake orgasms and masturbate like a crazy woman. There is so much more but the more that I type, the more pissed off I get. Oh yeah, one last thing, I hate swinging. I am bisexual and I always have been. I just never told you. I just let you think that I like to swing because it's the only way that I can fuck women without being sneaky about it.
Confession #426
Your inability to function when you so much as get the sniffles never ceases to amaze me. I have taken care of our child when I was projectile vomiting from the stomach flu. I have taken care of her while battling strep throat, bronchitis, and a double ear infection-AND going to work all day. You get a headache and the world comes to an end. GET OVER IT. Take medicine and move on.
Confession #427
STOP telling me I am shrinking your shirts in the dyer. You're getting fat. STOP eating fast food. You'll see a difference. I'm bigger now, too-I admit it. But I know the reason is my excessive eating, which is my coping mechanism for dealing with living with you.
Confession #428
When you try to talk down to me in front of your friends and family, I WILL put you in your place. Been doing it for 8 years, honey. At some point, you will learn that I WILL get in the last word. I especially love it when your mom pulls me aside and asks me what crawled up your ass and died. Validates my feelings.
Confession #429
DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.
When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off. Don't claim to be sick and make me do EVERYTHING...and then suddenly feel better when I crawl into bed bone tired. You're not getting any. The only thing I'm getting is SLEEP.
DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.
When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off.
Confession #430
Not only do think I don't love you anymore, but I suspect I am starting to hate you. We have only been married for 5 months.
I love you. I love our life. You are a fantastic father and provider. But
oh Lord help me you suck in bed. I haven't had an orgasm with you in the
room in about 16 yrs. I think about having an affair ONLY to have good sex.
One day I probably will do it. Consider this an apology in advance.
Confession #422
I know about her. I know that you were going to leave your family for her and your "strictly platonic relationship" with her. I hate you for that. I hate you for the fact that you said that you didn't leave because you have "obligations". Well guess what asshole!! I'm not an "obligation"! I'm a fucking human being with feelings! And our 5 year old daughter has feelings too moron! Do you honestly believe that the only reason I'm looking for a job is to "help save up money for a house."? You really are a stupid ass!
Confession #423
Where to begin? I'm sick to death of having you use your job as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Not even that it's the top excuse, because usually it's your failsafe, ace in the hole excuse. The final, "I work and pull in a paycheck therefore any behavior is excusable" excuse.
This morning I said, "It just seems like you aren't that interested in me."
Your reply, "I'm on my way out the door, I have to go to work."
WTF does that have to do with ANYTHING? How about, "Of course I am, I love you, I think you're gorgeous! I can't wait to get home and be with you!" Talk about scoring tons of points. Instead you bring up work and make me feel bad for saying ANYTHING negative to you at all.
Everything comes down to you having a job and me being a stay at home mom. Even though you say you are proud that your wife stays home with the kids... you throw your job in my face anytime I ask you to do something differently, as if I am not allowed to voice complaints because I don't "work." I'm sick of it.
Confession #424
I hate that you never compliment me. I've never been with anyone who didn't
occasionally say nice things about my appearance. From the looks I get from
strangers, I know I'm not ugly, so why is it that you can't ever say, "Hey,
you're not looking so bad today!" It wouldn't take much, just anything,
really. I've told you many times that I really need a nice comment every
now and then, and you say you will, but you never do (although, really, no
matter what Dr. Phil says, if I have to tell you to compliment me, it's not
a true compliment). I know I shouldn't base my self esteem on your
compliments, but after so many years of this, I've decided there's a few
things I'm going to let the plastic surgeon fix. The sad part? It won't do
anything. I'm no fool. Logically I know you still won't compliment
me...but damn, you'll have paid for a sweet package for the next man, who
will tell me I'm the most beautiful thing he's seen. And because I love you
with all my heart, that's the last thing I want to happen, but because my
self-esteem is slowly disappearing, it probably will.
Confession #425
Oh god, where do I start? I hate kissing you because you can't kiss. You always suck my bottom lip and get slob on my face. And no, you're dick hasn't grown! What? Have you ever heard of a 30something year old man having a growth spurt? Your cock has always been small and it's because of that that I have to fake orgasms and masturbate like a crazy woman. There is so much more but the more that I type, the more pissed off I get. Oh yeah, one last thing, I hate swinging. I am bisexual and I always have been. I just never told you. I just let you think that I like to swing because it's the only way that I can fuck women without being sneaky about it.
Confession #426
Your inability to function when you so much as get the sniffles never ceases to amaze me. I have taken care of our child when I was projectile vomiting from the stomach flu. I have taken care of her while battling strep throat, bronchitis, and a double ear infection-AND going to work all day. You get a headache and the world comes to an end. GET OVER IT. Take medicine and move on.
Confession #427
STOP telling me I am shrinking your shirts in the dyer. You're getting fat. STOP eating fast food. You'll see a difference. I'm bigger now, too-I admit it. But I know the reason is my excessive eating, which is my coping mechanism for dealing with living with you.
Confession #428
When you try to talk down to me in front of your friends and family, I WILL put you in your place. Been doing it for 8 years, honey. At some point, you will learn that I WILL get in the last word. I especially love it when your mom pulls me aside and asks me what crawled up your ass and died. Validates my feelings.
Confession #429
DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.
When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off. Don't claim to be sick and make me do EVERYTHING...and then suddenly feel better when I crawl into bed bone tired. You're not getting any. The only thing I'm getting is SLEEP.
DO NOT tell me how messy our home is and then leave your dirty socks on the ground. See a problem-help solve it, don't make it worse. LAZY.
When you piss me off, I start a list in my head of things I am going to send to this very site. The list gets longer every time you piss me off.
Confession #430
Not only do think I don't love you anymore, but I suspect I am starting to hate you. We have only been married for 5 months.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
True Wife Confession 41 Steps
Confession #401
There are a couple of reasons why I won't make doctor
or dentist appointments for you, and not caring about
your health and well being is not one of them. Reason
1: you are a grown-up, you know your own schedule, and
you know how to dial a phone. Reason 2: you never show
up when I make appointments for you.
Confession #402
You adore me and I love you. You treat me better than any man ever has. You do things many men won't. People envy me for being married to you. You will be the best father my children could have. But I still think about my ex every single day. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to not wait for him to give me another chance, but that means I would've never met you. I was just thinking about him when you fucked me, and that wasn't the first time. I'm sorry. I don't think I deserve you.
Confession #403
I hate how you make me feel like I am insane or mental when I have a bad day- and I am grumpy- You tell me I am "not healthy" when I complain to you and I should take a xananx to calm myself-I hate that about you! I hate that you make me feel like I am a bad person for having a stress- filled day- when I stay home with the kids- and I don't have the guts to tell you a lot of the time that you are a HUGE part of it! From having to sweep the floor first thing in the morning because you left mud or whatever all over it - to you calling me and bitching, to you having me make phone calls for you-get over yourself!!- I am not crazy- and if I am on my way it's you, your family, my family, and the kids that I cannot make happy, and the bullshit you all serve to me on a hourly basis that MAKES me act this way!!!! Staying at home with the kids is not an opportunity for me to be everyone's go to girl!!-Screw you all!! DO IT YOURSELVES!!!!
Confession #404
I have finally realized that there is a worse fate than being "single". Before I married you, I had high moral character and dreams for my life. I was in college, had perfect credit, and looked fantastic. Eighteen years with you has left me 100 pounds overweight, bankrupt, uneducated, and tired. I have had to put up with your crazy family, you alcoholism, your lies, your issues, for far too long. I should have left you after I had to deal with your DWI. I should have left you after I found out that you like gay porn. I should have left you when I found out you smoke weed and binge drink the minute I leave the house. The reason I have stayed is because of those precious times that you are kind and good to me. You know, when you act they way you did when I met you. That isn't enough anymore. The last straw is when you told your Mother she could live with us without asking me. I can't stand to be in the house with both of you. I'm leaving you as soon as I can.
Confession #405
Babe? I gotta say it. I'm attracted to your shape, and your love, and your kindness, and the tenderness you show our son, and to me, on an all-the-time basis; but -- oh, my GOD. The toxicity of your breath. It squelches any desire I feel when I come within several inches of you. Do something -- ANYTHING -- about it. Please. I want to sexxx you up, boy, but that breath has GOT. TO. GO. first.
Confession #406
I swear I love you more than anything, but I'm not willing to give her up.
At least not yet. I'm sorry. I'll just keep hiding it and hopefully I'll
never hurt you with the truth.
Confession #407
When we fight or you make me feel bad about myself, I secretly think about the married man I slept with for two years before I married you. He wouldn't leave his wife and kids (though he said in the beginning that he would), but we've messaged each other recently and he still thinks of me as 'the one that got away' and still loves me. I wish you knew that someone else wants me so you'd treat me better.
Confession #408
Without your knowledge, I have left a request, with our children's appointed legal Guardian, that if I should die our children are NEVER EVER to be left alone with your father. Not even for a trip to the Dairy Queen. He is an evil, manipulative pig and that time he mocked our son and made him sob I wanted to rip the glue-on hair off his head and stuff it up his ass. I know you love him because "he is your Dad", but he has never treated you well. A son with qualities like yours deserves a wonderful father--a father like you.
Confession #409
I used to enjoy giving head. You've ruined it for me. You take so goddamned long to finish that I get pains in my jaw and end up with a headache. Most guys get off that way in no time. And just so you know, when I want sex over and done with, I won't give you head...and I'll play with your ears because I know that's your 'hot spot'. I don't do it to satisfy YOU-I do it so you'll finish and I can get some sleep.
Confession #410
Why bother with pretending you're about to get up and get the baby at 2am? Why put up the facade? You know you're only going to sit on your side of the bed and heave and sigh until I give in and get up instead. Why go through this?
If I've been up multiple times with our daughter during the night, and then get up for the day at an ungodly hour, DO NOT come downstairs when it's time for you to get up and be cranky. DO NOT yawn in my face or tell me how exhausted you are...how crappy your sleep was. You got sleep. I, on the other hand, did not. DO NOT tell me how you couldn't fall back to sleep after her crying woke you-if you can't get back to sleep, then YOU get up with her. I can get back to sleep no problem. Since you can't, perhaps you should take her on during the night more often.
There are a couple of reasons why I won't make doctor
or dentist appointments for you, and not caring about
your health and well being is not one of them. Reason
1: you are a grown-up, you know your own schedule, and
you know how to dial a phone. Reason 2: you never show
up when I make appointments for you.
Confession #402
You adore me and I love you. You treat me better than any man ever has. You do things many men won't. People envy me for being married to you. You will be the best father my children could have. But I still think about my ex every single day. Sometimes I think it was a mistake to not wait for him to give me another chance, but that means I would've never met you. I was just thinking about him when you fucked me, and that wasn't the first time. I'm sorry. I don't think I deserve you.
Confession #403
I hate how you make me feel like I am insane or mental when I have a bad day- and I am grumpy- You tell me I am "not healthy" when I complain to you and I should take a xananx to calm myself-I hate that about you! I hate that you make me feel like I am a bad person for having a stress- filled day- when I stay home with the kids- and I don't have the guts to tell you a lot of the time that you are a HUGE part of it! From having to sweep the floor first thing in the morning because you left mud or whatever all over it - to you calling me and bitching, to you having me make phone calls for you-get over yourself!!- I am not crazy- and if I am on my way it's you, your family, my family, and the kids that I cannot make happy, and the bullshit you all serve to me on a hourly basis that MAKES me act this way!!!! Staying at home with the kids is not an opportunity for me to be everyone's go to girl!!-Screw you all!! DO IT YOURSELVES!!!!
Confession #404
I have finally realized that there is a worse fate than being "single". Before I married you, I had high moral character and dreams for my life. I was in college, had perfect credit, and looked fantastic. Eighteen years with you has left me 100 pounds overweight, bankrupt, uneducated, and tired. I have had to put up with your crazy family, you alcoholism, your lies, your issues, for far too long. I should have left you after I had to deal with your DWI. I should have left you after I found out that you like gay porn. I should have left you when I found out you smoke weed and binge drink the minute I leave the house. The reason I have stayed is because of those precious times that you are kind and good to me. You know, when you act they way you did when I met you. That isn't enough anymore. The last straw is when you told your Mother she could live with us without asking me. I can't stand to be in the house with both of you. I'm leaving you as soon as I can.
Confession #405
Babe? I gotta say it. I'm attracted to your shape, and your love, and your kindness, and the tenderness you show our son, and to me, on an all-the-time basis; but -- oh, my GOD. The toxicity of your breath. It squelches any desire I feel when I come within several inches of you. Do something -- ANYTHING -- about it. Please. I want to sexxx you up, boy, but that breath has GOT. TO. GO. first.
Confession #406
I swear I love you more than anything, but I'm not willing to give her up.
At least not yet. I'm sorry. I'll just keep hiding it and hopefully I'll
never hurt you with the truth.
Confession #407
When we fight or you make me feel bad about myself, I secretly think about the married man I slept with for two years before I married you. He wouldn't leave his wife and kids (though he said in the beginning that he would), but we've messaged each other recently and he still thinks of me as 'the one that got away' and still loves me. I wish you knew that someone else wants me so you'd treat me better.
Confession #408
Without your knowledge, I have left a request, with our children's appointed legal Guardian, that if I should die our children are NEVER EVER to be left alone with your father. Not even for a trip to the Dairy Queen. He is an evil, manipulative pig and that time he mocked our son and made him sob I wanted to rip the glue-on hair off his head and stuff it up his ass. I know you love him because "he is your Dad", but he has never treated you well. A son with qualities like yours deserves a wonderful father--a father like you.
Confession #409
I used to enjoy giving head. You've ruined it for me. You take so goddamned long to finish that I get pains in my jaw and end up with a headache. Most guys get off that way in no time. And just so you know, when I want sex over and done with, I won't give you head...and I'll play with your ears because I know that's your 'hot spot'. I don't do it to satisfy YOU-I do it so you'll finish and I can get some sleep.
Confession #410
Why bother with pretending you're about to get up and get the baby at 2am? Why put up the facade? You know you're only going to sit on your side of the bed and heave and sigh until I give in and get up instead. Why go through this?
If I've been up multiple times with our daughter during the night, and then get up for the day at an ungodly hour, DO NOT come downstairs when it's time for you to get up and be cranky. DO NOT yawn in my face or tell me how exhausted you are...how crappy your sleep was. You got sleep. I, on the other hand, did not. DO NOT tell me how you couldn't fall back to sleep after her crying woke you-if you can't get back to sleep, then YOU get up with her. I can get back to sleep no problem. Since you can't, perhaps you should take her on during the night more often.
Monday, August 07, 2006
True Wife Confessions 40 Ounces of Whoop Ass
Confession #391
It was ME who keyed your car door after the concert when you were acting like a prick.
Confession #392
I'm pretty sure that you love me more than I love you. I don't really feel any kind of passion for you anymore. Beyond the usual doses of typical marital annoyances, I do feel deep friendship, fierce loyalty, unending devotion and the utmost admiration. I hope these are enough to get me through the next sixty years, because I really want to see how this thing turns out.
Confession #393
I love you. You knew I was falling in love with you all the while. I told you. But then, before you left, you acted all shocked, and told me you didn't want that to happen. That you didn't feel that way about me. But then you stayed here for another 3 days before you had to go. I don't understand why, if you KNEW ALL ALONG WHY YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT SOONER. And don't use going to war as an excuse. Bullshit.
Confession #394
I hate that you are an alcoholic. I hate that you
won't get help. I hate that you pee some nights in
bed. I hate that our kids know there is a problem. I
hate that my small son knows the word "drunk". I hate
that you blare your music so loud we wake up. I hate
the way you talk to me while drinking. I hate when
you try to grope me when you are totally smashed. I
hate beer cans and cigarette butts left on our lawn.
I hate feeling embarrassed because of you. I hate
when you ruin my plans by drinking. I hate going out
with you because I feel like I can't enjoy myself
100%. I hate being so darn weak that I stay with you.
Most of all I hate that you know all of this and
don't seem to care.
Confession #395
I hated you even more today than I thought I have in a long time. You drove like a fucking maniac, weaving in and out of traffic in the city and then on the parkway, with the road all slick from the rain, WITH OUR 19-MONTH OLD IN THE BACK. I begged. I pleaded for you to slow down, remember that your son is in the back. You barked at me like a fucking animal. You bullied me with your driving. The part of the ride where we stopped talking, when I was staring out of the window looking at the lights...I was trying to convince myself that I really could divorce you and financially survive. That no matter how much a son needs his father, he needs to grow up in a happy and healthy environment too. I was realizing that I can leave your lowlife ass and I will survive, and me and my son will make it. My family puts up with you, but trust me, my mom would be dancing in the streets if I told her I was leaving you, you piece of shit. Your family never taught you any respect for anyone but yourself. Hope that right hand falls off. You don't deserve us. Loser.
Confession #396
I have been lying to you about money to get back at you for not loving me, for blaming your lack of desire for me on me being fat, and for spending more time in front of the computer playing online poker and looking at perverted porn. And now that it's coming to a head, I can't wait to get caught because then you will either wake up to what's wrong with our marriage or let me out.
Confession #397
I am dying to cheat on you. If it's okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it. If you don't value our marriage, why the hell should I? How stupid do you think I am? "I can't wait to kiss you, love [you]" found in your inbox and you claim your email account was hacked into? I'm only glad I forwarded all of them to myself so I you can't deny they were there. I was pregnant with your second child, for God's sake. I will NEVER forgive you for that, and of course I don't trust you. Give me a reason to do so and I will. Until then I can't.
Confession #398
Nothing could ever split us up, but there are a few things that are pissing me off. Take for example your constant guilt trips. I don't need them. I'm aware that you are a great husband, and that you are allways doing what I want to do and constantly entertain me. But that doesn't mean I have to pay you back in sex every 12 hours. I have a life! You, apparently, do not, and that is your business not mine.
And one more thing... Stop bugging me about having a baby! Me and you aren't the type of people that should procreate! We're selfish bastards! You don't know the first thing about babies, you only want one so that it might mold me into the 'perfect wife/mother'. News flash: not the right reason to have children!
Confession #399
sweetie, I love you. but would you put your goddamn dirty socks in a hamper instead of leaving them on the floor wherever you took them off? it's embarassing when people come over. it's not like I don't have five hampers going at any given time. learn to use them.
also. when I come to your work to pick you up. why cannot you get your ass out to meet me when I am actually driving up? no matter what I do, you STILL wait until you see the car parked in front of your office building before you stop doing what you are doing, ride down fifteen floors and come outside to meet me. you say you don't want to be left waiting--but it's OK to leave *me* waiting for *you* with two screaming kids in the car? wtf! your time is more important than ours? fuck that.
Confession #400
Yes, I'd love to have another baby too. I have room for more than one in my heart.
Unfortunately, I don't have room in my day for another child. I do at least 95% of the care for our current one together. I'm sure you'd love to have another baby. Considering that I'd go insane though, maybe it's not the best idea. I can't be a full time mom, full time employee, full time wife, and part time stepmom to anyone else.
Sorry. Step up to the plate and maybe one day I'd consider it. Until then, no I won't stop taking the birth control.
It was ME who keyed your car door after the concert when you were acting like a prick.
Confession #392
I'm pretty sure that you love me more than I love you. I don't really feel any kind of passion for you anymore. Beyond the usual doses of typical marital annoyances, I do feel deep friendship, fierce loyalty, unending devotion and the utmost admiration. I hope these are enough to get me through the next sixty years, because I really want to see how this thing turns out.
Confession #393
I love you. You knew I was falling in love with you all the while. I told you. But then, before you left, you acted all shocked, and told me you didn't want that to happen. That you didn't feel that way about me. But then you stayed here for another 3 days before you had to go. I don't understand why, if you KNEW ALL ALONG WHY YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT SOONER. And don't use going to war as an excuse. Bullshit.
Confession #394
I hate that you are an alcoholic. I hate that you
won't get help. I hate that you pee some nights in
bed. I hate that our kids know there is a problem. I
hate that my small son knows the word "drunk". I hate
that you blare your music so loud we wake up. I hate
the way you talk to me while drinking. I hate when
you try to grope me when you are totally smashed. I
hate beer cans and cigarette butts left on our lawn.
I hate feeling embarrassed because of you. I hate
when you ruin my plans by drinking. I hate going out
with you because I feel like I can't enjoy myself
100%. I hate being so darn weak that I stay with you.
Most of all I hate that you know all of this and
don't seem to care.
Confession #395
I hated you even more today than I thought I have in a long time. You drove like a fucking maniac, weaving in and out of traffic in the city and then on the parkway, with the road all slick from the rain, WITH OUR 19-MONTH OLD IN THE BACK. I begged. I pleaded for you to slow down, remember that your son is in the back. You barked at me like a fucking animal. You bullied me with your driving. The part of the ride where we stopped talking, when I was staring out of the window looking at the lights...I was trying to convince myself that I really could divorce you and financially survive. That no matter how much a son needs his father, he needs to grow up in a happy and healthy environment too. I was realizing that I can leave your lowlife ass and I will survive, and me and my son will make it. My family puts up with you, but trust me, my mom would be dancing in the streets if I told her I was leaving you, you piece of shit. Your family never taught you any respect for anyone but yourself. Hope that right hand falls off. You don't deserve us. Loser.
Confession #396
I have been lying to you about money to get back at you for not loving me, for blaming your lack of desire for me on me being fat, and for spending more time in front of the computer playing online poker and looking at perverted porn. And now that it's coming to a head, I can't wait to get caught because then you will either wake up to what's wrong with our marriage or let me out.
Confession #397
I am dying to cheat on you. If it's okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it. If you don't value our marriage, why the hell should I? How stupid do you think I am? "I can't wait to kiss you, love [you]" found in your inbox and you claim your email account was hacked into? I'm only glad I forwarded all of them to myself so I you can't deny they were there. I was pregnant with your second child, for God's sake. I will NEVER forgive you for that, and of course I don't trust you. Give me a reason to do so and I will. Until then I can't.
Confession #398
Nothing could ever split us up, but there are a few things that are pissing me off. Take for example your constant guilt trips. I don't need them. I'm aware that you are a great husband, and that you are allways doing what I want to do and constantly entertain me. But that doesn't mean I have to pay you back in sex every 12 hours. I have a life! You, apparently, do not, and that is your business not mine.
And one more thing... Stop bugging me about having a baby! Me and you aren't the type of people that should procreate! We're selfish bastards! You don't know the first thing about babies, you only want one so that it might mold me into the 'perfect wife/mother'. News flash: not the right reason to have children!
Confession #399
sweetie, I love you. but would you put your goddamn dirty socks in a hamper instead of leaving them on the floor wherever you took them off? it's embarassing when people come over. it's not like I don't have five hampers going at any given time. learn to use them.
also. when I come to your work to pick you up. why cannot you get your ass out to meet me when I am actually driving up? no matter what I do, you STILL wait until you see the car parked in front of your office building before you stop doing what you are doing, ride down fifteen floors and come outside to meet me. you say you don't want to be left waiting--but it's OK to leave *me* waiting for *you* with two screaming kids in the car? wtf! your time is more important than ours? fuck that.
Confession #400
Yes, I'd love to have another baby too. I have room for more than one in my heart.
Unfortunately, I don't have room in my day for another child. I do at least 95% of the care for our current one together. I'm sure you'd love to have another baby. Considering that I'd go insane though, maybe it's not the best idea. I can't be a full time mom, full time employee, full time wife, and part time stepmom to anyone else.
Sorry. Step up to the plate and maybe one day I'd consider it. Until then, no I won't stop taking the birth control.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
True Wife Confessions 39 (Pier)
Confession #381
I desperately want to trust you, but your lies have made that very hard. I waited for her to come out of work one day, so I could see what she looks like. I even took pictures of her and followed her home, and she never had a clue. She stopped at a liquor store and started drinking before she even got home. I don't know what you see in her. She must have flattered you, because we had a good life together and you selfishly traded it for her. I saw what you wrote to her about me and it has broken my heart. You did nothing to let me know you were unhappy. How unfair of you. I thought we had a wonderful marriage and I have been cheated of it. I know you say you are done, but I can't trust you. I am a stranger in my own life.
Confession #382
You say that I have to get a job now that the kids are in school, and I
want to have a job again, a career. I know that we can't survive
financially without it. However, I've dragged my ass for a year because
I know how it will be, me going to school online full time, working 30
hours a week for shitting wages and maximum hassle, and still taking
care of the kids, house, pets and all the other details of our lives
that you never even think about. You promise that you'll help out more
when I get a job, but you promised that when I went back to school. You
don't even have the first idea how to pick up some of the things I do
around here, and you make no attempt to find out. Every time you talk
about equal rights for women and your feminist mother I laugh on the inside.
Confession #383
You think you are better than me, but you aren't. Really, I can't figure out why you feel that way. I supported you for at least 5 of our 7 years together, even when you were so scared of commitment you wouldn't even call me your girlfriend, much less propose. I paid your mortgage for two years while you slept in my bed in my home with me. You let your mother and your sister emotionally abuse me for years and did nothing to stop them because you didn't want to make waves. You are selfish and you are cruel. I may not be a gorgeous woman, but I deserve a hell of a lot better than this.
Confession #384
I hate that you make me feel like a piece of shit for practically everything I do.
I think it's crazy that if I make a mistake you never let me forget about it and act like it will happen all the time because i'm that stupid. Like the time the mortgage payment got skipped somehow and you then stopped putting money into the account because you wanted to actually write the checks out to pay some of the bills. Yet you still just hand me a pile of money and say here. Well, what the fuck you aren't doing what you say you are going to dick head!! And it was a mistake. You act like you never make mistakes. You are not god.
About money, you lived here for free right down to me paying for your car insurance for 4 years. Then we got married and I got pregnant and you wanted me to stay home yet you only give me $750 a month for the bills and I put in $1500 from my fathers estate. Then you yell at me because I use my credit cards to cover expenses sometimes. Well, what do you expect me to do, pull money out of my ass??
Confession #385
If I'm good enough to make love with you, share my home with you, and look after your children, then I should be good enough to be your wife. I'm too old to be a "girlfriend."
Confession #386
You really are a good man. You have a healthy sense of right and wrong. You're a true family man. Deep down, though, I suspect that no one else would put up with either one of us and our quirkiness. If we were married to other people, I don't think either one of us would have stayed married 15 years. I'm too quick to run my mouth and you're too quick to change your mind about stuff.
Sometimes when I am really hacked off at you, I know I stay with you because you are a good father to our kids. When you set limits with them, it's out of love. If they had a stepfather I'd never let him discipline the kids because I'd never be sure if he was doing it out of jealousy and spite or out of loving concern.
If I could change anything about you at all, it would be this: I wish you were more of a hugger and kisser and hand holder. You're romantic in your own way, but I could use a little more affection. I guess these confessions aren't really new to you. You already know how I feel.
Finally, I do want you to know that I love you and I truly hope you outlive me. I don't ever want to have to mourn you.
Confession #387
I resent a lot of things about you. For instance, I resent the fact that you are able to leave a job because you don't like it and I have to stay at mine even though I hate it. You left a job that was earning you more than enough money because it was "not for you" and took a job making much less. Now I'm stuck making up the difference in incomes at a job I HATE every day. I can't leave like you could because I don't have the person at home working her butt off to give me the leeway, like I did for you. It seems like you always end up being the person who gets to be coddled, and I'm always the one who has to "be strong". I also resent you for not being considerate enough to at least give me a chance to tell you how unhappy I am without you making it into something about YOU. (Maybe it is all about you after all. Maybe you're what's wrong with me.)
Confession #388
I secretly pray that you will cheat on me so I can leave you without being the bad guy to our kids.
Confession #389
We upload our photos to the same photo-storage site, and it disgusts me to see that you take photos of women's asses. Seriously, WTF? You see a woman walk by in tight jeans and you are compelled to take her photo without her permission? You are violating those women's privacy you big fucking pervert. And what creeps me out is that your BioDad does the same damn thing, I know because he uses the photos as his screensavers on his computer! Is this like a genetic compulsion the two of you have? Do the two of you not care at all how it makes your wives feel? Go ahead and look all you want, but don't put those photos in a folder where I can see them. Asshole.
Confession #390
I am scared to death of living the rest of my life without feeling passion, and never being in love. I feel like a friend towards you these days instead of a wife and lover. I feel like I settled for an okay relationship instead of waiting for a great one, simply because I didn't want be alone and because I knew you would never hurt me like the others had. It's not fair to you and I am sorry. You are a good man and you deserve to be loved thoroughly instead of halfheartedly.
You deserve better than me. Because if he came to me right now and said he loved me and wanted to be with me, I would go with him in a heartbeat.
I desperately want to trust you, but your lies have made that very hard. I waited for her to come out of work one day, so I could see what she looks like. I even took pictures of her and followed her home, and she never had a clue. She stopped at a liquor store and started drinking before she even got home. I don't know what you see in her. She must have flattered you, because we had a good life together and you selfishly traded it for her. I saw what you wrote to her about me and it has broken my heart. You did nothing to let me know you were unhappy. How unfair of you. I thought we had a wonderful marriage and I have been cheated of it. I know you say you are done, but I can't trust you. I am a stranger in my own life.
Confession #382
You say that I have to get a job now that the kids are in school, and I
want to have a job again, a career. I know that we can't survive
financially without it. However, I've dragged my ass for a year because
I know how it will be, me going to school online full time, working 30
hours a week for shitting wages and maximum hassle, and still taking
care of the kids, house, pets and all the other details of our lives
that you never even think about. You promise that you'll help out more
when I get a job, but you promised that when I went back to school. You
don't even have the first idea how to pick up some of the things I do
around here, and you make no attempt to find out. Every time you talk
about equal rights for women and your feminist mother I laugh on the inside.
Confession #383
You think you are better than me, but you aren't. Really, I can't figure out why you feel that way. I supported you for at least 5 of our 7 years together, even when you were so scared of commitment you wouldn't even call me your girlfriend, much less propose. I paid your mortgage for two years while you slept in my bed in my home with me. You let your mother and your sister emotionally abuse me for years and did nothing to stop them because you didn't want to make waves. You are selfish and you are cruel. I may not be a gorgeous woman, but I deserve a hell of a lot better than this.
Confession #384
I hate that you make me feel like a piece of shit for practically everything I do.
I think it's crazy that if I make a mistake you never let me forget about it and act like it will happen all the time because i'm that stupid. Like the time the mortgage payment got skipped somehow and you then stopped putting money into the account because you wanted to actually write the checks out to pay some of the bills. Yet you still just hand me a pile of money and say here. Well, what the fuck you aren't doing what you say you are going to dick head!! And it was a mistake. You act like you never make mistakes. You are not god.
About money, you lived here for free right down to me paying for your car insurance for 4 years. Then we got married and I got pregnant and you wanted me to stay home yet you only give me $750 a month for the bills and I put in $1500 from my fathers estate. Then you yell at me because I use my credit cards to cover expenses sometimes. Well, what do you expect me to do, pull money out of my ass??
Confession #385
If I'm good enough to make love with you, share my home with you, and look after your children, then I should be good enough to be your wife. I'm too old to be a "girlfriend."
Confession #386
You really are a good man. You have a healthy sense of right and wrong. You're a true family man. Deep down, though, I suspect that no one else would put up with either one of us and our quirkiness. If we were married to other people, I don't think either one of us would have stayed married 15 years. I'm too quick to run my mouth and you're too quick to change your mind about stuff.
Sometimes when I am really hacked off at you, I know I stay with you because you are a good father to our kids. When you set limits with them, it's out of love. If they had a stepfather I'd never let him discipline the kids because I'd never be sure if he was doing it out of jealousy and spite or out of loving concern.
If I could change anything about you at all, it would be this: I wish you were more of a hugger and kisser and hand holder. You're romantic in your own way, but I could use a little more affection. I guess these confessions aren't really new to you. You already know how I feel.
Finally, I do want you to know that I love you and I truly hope you outlive me. I don't ever want to have to mourn you.
Confession #387
I resent a lot of things about you. For instance, I resent the fact that you are able to leave a job because you don't like it and I have to stay at mine even though I hate it. You left a job that was earning you more than enough money because it was "not for you" and took a job making much less. Now I'm stuck making up the difference in incomes at a job I HATE every day. I can't leave like you could because I don't have the person at home working her butt off to give me the leeway, like I did for you. It seems like you always end up being the person who gets to be coddled, and I'm always the one who has to "be strong". I also resent you for not being considerate enough to at least give me a chance to tell you how unhappy I am without you making it into something about YOU. (Maybe it is all about you after all. Maybe you're what's wrong with me.)
Confession #388
I secretly pray that you will cheat on me so I can leave you without being the bad guy to our kids.
Confession #389
We upload our photos to the same photo-storage site, and it disgusts me to see that you take photos of women's asses. Seriously, WTF? You see a woman walk by in tight jeans and you are compelled to take her photo without her permission? You are violating those women's privacy you big fucking pervert. And what creeps me out is that your BioDad does the same damn thing, I know because he uses the photos as his screensavers on his computer! Is this like a genetic compulsion the two of you have? Do the two of you not care at all how it makes your wives feel? Go ahead and look all you want, but don't put those photos in a folder where I can see them. Asshole.
Confession #390
I am scared to death of living the rest of my life without feeling passion, and never being in love. I feel like a friend towards you these days instead of a wife and lover. I feel like I settled for an okay relationship instead of waiting for a great one, simply because I didn't want be alone and because I knew you would never hurt me like the others had. It's not fair to you and I am sorry. You are a good man and you deserve to be loved thoroughly instead of halfheartedly.
You deserve better than me. Because if he came to me right now and said he loved me and wanted to be with me, I would go with him in a heartbeat.
Friday, August 04, 2006
True Wife Confession 38 Special
Confession #371
When your work clothes are not clean on Monday... I didn't forget to wash them... I am just getting even. You T.V. watching, Poker playing fool...Did I say that? Hummmm
Confession #372
I really hate it when you call me from work, or I call you at work...and you can barely summon up the decency to tear yourself away from your computer screen and be civil for all of one minute. It is really rude and dismissive and it makes me want to throw the phone across the room.
Confession #373
We've been through a hell of a lot together. When we said "In
sickness and in health," the Universe took us at our word. We've
gone through you being so ill I feared you would die, bankruptcy, and
now my disability. I have two husbands, only one legal, and you both
are amazing. The first bit was to my legal spouse; to the other one,
you took us in when we had nowhere to go, and you are helping us
scrape through as husband #1 retrains to a job that can't be shipped overseas.
I love you both so much.
And I'm in so much pain I can't make love to either one of you. And
that hurts more than any physical pain could.
Confession #374
You think we have plenty of money in the savings account. In reality,
I have credit cards you do not know about and the savings account is
empty. I'm addicted to shopping and spending, I can't stop. I tell
lies to cover up the big purchases and hide the little ones. I want to
stop. I want to tell you all about it. I just cannot bring myself to
face the truth. I try to stop but I can't seem to. I'm afraid you'll
leave me when you find out. This is one reason I'm so ready to get
back to work after having our precious son 6 months ago, I want this
debt gone and to be able to buy things with cash not credit. I'm sorry
I've lied, I love you so much. Always and forever.
Confession #375
When you ask a girl to marry you, you don't say "I'm going to be in town this weekend, so you know what we can do..." I honestly thought you were asking me to go see a movie. It wasn't until you told me you had made an appointment to apply for a marriage license and reserved the time with the Justice of the Peace that I realized what you meant, and by then I didn't want to go through the hell you would have given me if I had backed out.
Confession #376
Can't take much more. Want to run and hide. Just a day off from the rhetoric of what I am not doing for you. Can't even make sense of what I am about anymore. Tired of hearing how I don't treat you with the respect a "husband" deserves, that I should be a good "wife", and that I henpeck. How many wives never say a word when their husbands are out until four am weekly. Then the week after I had our child you started telling me that I am not a good wife because I didn't want to have sex with you. A c-section and childbirth were just an excuse. Still don't want to hear the request for sex. Your insensitivity is hard to forget. The worst is when you tell me I should be happy, I have a baby and central ac. What more could a gal want! Grrrrr!
Confession #377
I know I haven't always been the easiest person to live with. I always seem to be wanting something "more". I am sorry if I never showed you, how much you truly mean to me. I'm sorry if for one second I made you think you were anything but the best husband and father in the world. I appreciate everything that you do, everything that you have done for us. I love you honey, more then I could ever begin to tell you. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. And that you choose to spend the rest of your life with me. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I promise to you that I will be more grateful, and I will take the time to tell you all that you do right. I will tell you how much I truly do love you. You are the love of my life.
Confession #378
I wish you had the slightest fucking clue how much I long for a little emotion from you. A little passion, a little compassion, a little romance...goes a long way. That's why I started screwing my ex again.
Confession #379
You want to have sex every day in the middle of the afternoon and so we do
it on my lunch break. The first time was kinky, the second time was cute,
now I just do it becuase I know if I don't you will just masturbate after I
go back to work and resent me for not giving in.
Confession #380
You can be such a bastard. When my brother called me tonight because he needed my help with something and you got all pissed off and said "why doesn't he get a brain and figure things out for himself? Why does he think this is your problem?" Then I defended him saying he didn't know how to file a damage claim with ups--he's only 16 for fuck's sake.
You bring up my dad after berating my brother --big mistake bee-otch. He was there for me last night (and 3 nights ago) when you got drunk and started yelling at me when I asked you to calm down and talk quitely. He also convinced me not to call the cops and tell them you were driving drunk--you should thank him. So yea, he is my *precious daddy* He's not perfect but he's also not the one yelling at me everynight, screaming about things on the news that have nothing to do with you- then insisting that I am the one that starts all these fights. I just wanted you to calm down b/c of your high blood pressure. I bet drinking isn't helping that either. You bitch about the decay of society; do you think alchoholics are contributing to the good of society?
Why do I have to do everything for you?! You refuse to do anything at all. You leave your dirty clothes and dishes in the livingroom, leave piss dribbles on the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet--who the fuck do you think cleans that up asshole? You won't even fucking make yourself something to eat... it's not cute or your way of showing me you need me, you're just fucking lazy!!
I'm not your mommy, your maid or your cook, if you want something to eat, go look in the stupid 1950's fridge you know the one with the broken latch that you insist on keeping b/c "it's built the way a fridge should be" yeah the door is held closed with duct tape shirt for brains! It eats power like nobody's business-funny how you care so much about the fucking enviorment but have refused to replace the piece of shirt for the past 4 years! Speaking of your mommy, how is the bitch? Oh, that's right she left you and your sibs for that child molesting asshole that's now rotting away in prison. She wants nothing to do with you--and I do think that is sad but I also think that because of her psyco behavior, she's not worthy of being called Mom.
When your work clothes are not clean on Monday... I didn't forget to wash them... I am just getting even. You T.V. watching, Poker playing fool...Did I say that? Hummmm
Confession #372
I really hate it when you call me from work, or I call you at work...and you can barely summon up the decency to tear yourself away from your computer screen and be civil for all of one minute. It is really rude and dismissive and it makes me want to throw the phone across the room.
Confession #373
We've been through a hell of a lot together. When we said "In
sickness and in health," the Universe took us at our word. We've
gone through you being so ill I feared you would die, bankruptcy, and
now my disability. I have two husbands, only one legal, and you both
are amazing. The first bit was to my legal spouse; to the other one,
you took us in when we had nowhere to go, and you are helping us
scrape through as husband #1 retrains to a job that can't be shipped overseas.
I love you both so much.
And I'm in so much pain I can't make love to either one of you. And
that hurts more than any physical pain could.
Confession #374
You think we have plenty of money in the savings account. In reality,
I have credit cards you do not know about and the savings account is
empty. I'm addicted to shopping and spending, I can't stop. I tell
lies to cover up the big purchases and hide the little ones. I want to
stop. I want to tell you all about it. I just cannot bring myself to
face the truth. I try to stop but I can't seem to. I'm afraid you'll
leave me when you find out. This is one reason I'm so ready to get
back to work after having our precious son 6 months ago, I want this
debt gone and to be able to buy things with cash not credit. I'm sorry
I've lied, I love you so much. Always and forever.
Confession #375
When you ask a girl to marry you, you don't say "I'm going to be in town this weekend, so you know what we can do..." I honestly thought you were asking me to go see a movie. It wasn't until you told me you had made an appointment to apply for a marriage license and reserved the time with the Justice of the Peace that I realized what you meant, and by then I didn't want to go through the hell you would have given me if I had backed out.
Confession #376
Can't take much more. Want to run and hide. Just a day off from the rhetoric of what I am not doing for you. Can't even make sense of what I am about anymore. Tired of hearing how I don't treat you with the respect a "husband" deserves, that I should be a good "wife", and that I henpeck. How many wives never say a word when their husbands are out until four am weekly. Then the week after I had our child you started telling me that I am not a good wife because I didn't want to have sex with you. A c-section and childbirth were just an excuse. Still don't want to hear the request for sex. Your insensitivity is hard to forget. The worst is when you tell me I should be happy, I have a baby and central ac. What more could a gal want! Grrrrr!
Confession #377
I know I haven't always been the easiest person to live with. I always seem to be wanting something "more". I am sorry if I never showed you, how much you truly mean to me. I'm sorry if for one second I made you think you were anything but the best husband and father in the world. I appreciate everything that you do, everything that you have done for us. I love you honey, more then I could ever begin to tell you. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. And that you choose to spend the rest of your life with me. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I promise to you that I will be more grateful, and I will take the time to tell you all that you do right. I will tell you how much I truly do love you. You are the love of my life.
Confession #378
I wish you had the slightest fucking clue how much I long for a little emotion from you. A little passion, a little compassion, a little romance...goes a long way. That's why I started screwing my ex again.
Confession #379
You want to have sex every day in the middle of the afternoon and so we do
it on my lunch break. The first time was kinky, the second time was cute,
now I just do it becuase I know if I don't you will just masturbate after I
go back to work and resent me for not giving in.
Confession #380
You can be such a bastard. When my brother called me tonight because he needed my help with something and you got all pissed off and said "why doesn't he get a brain and figure things out for himself? Why does he think this is your problem?" Then I defended him saying he didn't know how to file a damage claim with ups--he's only 16 for fuck's sake.
You bring up my dad after berating my brother --big mistake bee-otch. He was there for me last night (and 3 nights ago) when you got drunk and started yelling at me when I asked you to calm down and talk quitely. He also convinced me not to call the cops and tell them you were driving drunk--you should thank him. So yea, he is my *precious daddy* He's not perfect but he's also not the one yelling at me everynight, screaming about things on the news that have nothing to do with you- then insisting that I am the one that starts all these fights. I just wanted you to calm down b/c of your high blood pressure. I bet drinking isn't helping that either. You bitch about the decay of society; do you think alchoholics are contributing to the good of society?
Why do I have to do everything for you?! You refuse to do anything at all. You leave your dirty clothes and dishes in the livingroom, leave piss dribbles on the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet--who the fuck do you think cleans that up asshole? You won't even fucking make yourself something to eat... it's not cute or your way of showing me you need me, you're just fucking lazy!!
I'm not your mommy, your maid or your cook, if you want something to eat, go look in the stupid 1950's fridge you know the one with the broken latch that you insist on keeping b/c "it's built the way a fridge should be" yeah the door is held closed with duct tape shirt for brains! It eats power like nobody's business-funny how you care so much about the fucking enviorment but have refused to replace the piece of shirt for the past 4 years! Speaking of your mommy, how is the bitch? Oh, that's right she left you and your sibs for that child molesting asshole that's now rotting away in prison. She wants nothing to do with you--and I do think that is sad but I also think that because of her psyco behavior, she's not worthy of being called Mom.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
True Wife Confession 37 - Normal human body temperature in Celcius
Confession #361
I know you don't want me to see the man we swapped with because his wife is out of town and this is suppose to be a couples thing, but if he calls I'm seeing him. I love you more than I've ever loved any man but I can't get him off of my mind.
Confession #362
I walked away.... I believed I had valid reasons, just like I believed that we would end up together forever. I could never have imagined that you would die less than a year later. And now after 10 years without you, I still look around and sob when I can't find you.
Confession #363
You know, flowers are still acceptable to give to your wife. I'm not asking for dozens of red roses, but you'd be amazed at the power of a simple thoughtful gesture like this. It would make me so very happy, but you say it is a waste of money.
Confession #364
I make up complaints about you when I'm with my
friends. They don't believe me if I talk about
how well we really get along or how wonderful you
really are to me. I don't want to lose my
friends, so I make up complaints, and the sad
part is that they still wonder how they can get
their husbands to act the way you do. I'm sorry
and I love you.
Confession #365
I am not married. But you are. She's gone now. Halfway around the world. My biggest fear's are that I will never be what she once was to you: Youre wife-(second time around will be old news); youre first born. Im scared to ask you when you will legally be divorced because i fear that you will tell me that she is coming back, with the baby, and we will be over. So i will let these questioning thoughts eat away at me. They hurt a lot less than the thought of being without you.
Confession #366
I started smoking again, after 5 fucking years, because of you, you stupid asshole. Right now, it's only in need of some serious emergency soothing. Hope it just stays like that, or until the pack runs out. I had to go drive to the park & ride late at night just to smoke one and stare at the moon. To think about the guy who I stopped seeing when I met you, stupidly. Whose number is still in my cell. The only one who knew just how to touch me,the one I think about every time i watch "the notebook", the one you should 've taken notes from. G-d, I'm such a shmuck for giving that up for you...
Confession #367
Every morning when I wake up, I think of him. He is my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night. Then I get angry with myself and try to focus on you. You deserve a wife who wants to be with you. I want to stop thinking about him, but I can't. I have not been unfaitful with my body, but my mind is somewhere else every day.
Confession #368
I wanted to cry when I found out you felt as though you disappointed me. Times were tough and I'm so glad we pulled through, but I know now I let you down when you needed me most. I was so scared. I thought I was worried about you, but there were times when I was more worried about myself-what would it mean to ME if you changed. We both have our problems, but you are fabulous. What we have together is better than I ever dared to hope for. You've done so much for me, but I let you down. For that I am so ashamed. I will never be able to apologize enough. Sometimes I think I really don't deserve you.
Confession #369
I lied at the doctors office the other day.....again. "will he be here to take you home after the treatment?" um, no he is out of town. when they took me back to the room some materials where there about resources for the single parent. they know i lie about where you are. and when you call during and i try to be brave and say i feel ok after i have puked a few times, and you know i feel bad and you say "i don't know what but i am going to do something nice for you tonight" and i get so happy with those words, and i am pathetic because you did not do anything nice. and when the treatment was done, the nurse said, "honey, please make sure there is someone here next week to give you a ride home"
Confession #370
When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you.
I know you don't want me to see the man we swapped with because his wife is out of town and this is suppose to be a couples thing, but if he calls I'm seeing him. I love you more than I've ever loved any man but I can't get him off of my mind.
Confession #362
I walked away.... I believed I had valid reasons, just like I believed that we would end up together forever. I could never have imagined that you would die less than a year later. And now after 10 years without you, I still look around and sob when I can't find you.
Confession #363
You know, flowers are still acceptable to give to your wife. I'm not asking for dozens of red roses, but you'd be amazed at the power of a simple thoughtful gesture like this. It would make me so very happy, but you say it is a waste of money.
Confession #364
I make up complaints about you when I'm with my
friends. They don't believe me if I talk about
how well we really get along or how wonderful you
really are to me. I don't want to lose my
friends, so I make up complaints, and the sad
part is that they still wonder how they can get
their husbands to act the way you do. I'm sorry
and I love you.
Confession #365
I am not married. But you are. She's gone now. Halfway around the world. My biggest fear's are that I will never be what she once was to you: Youre wife-(second time around will be old news); youre first born. Im scared to ask you when you will legally be divorced because i fear that you will tell me that she is coming back, with the baby, and we will be over. So i will let these questioning thoughts eat away at me. They hurt a lot less than the thought of being without you.
Confession #366
I started smoking again, after 5 fucking years, because of you, you stupid asshole. Right now, it's only in need of some serious emergency soothing. Hope it just stays like that, or until the pack runs out. I had to go drive to the park & ride late at night just to smoke one and stare at the moon. To think about the guy who I stopped seeing when I met you, stupidly. Whose number is still in my cell. The only one who knew just how to touch me,the one I think about every time i watch "the notebook", the one you should 've taken notes from. G-d, I'm such a shmuck for giving that up for you...
Confession #367
Every morning when I wake up, I think of him. He is my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night. Then I get angry with myself and try to focus on you. You deserve a wife who wants to be with you. I want to stop thinking about him, but I can't. I have not been unfaitful with my body, but my mind is somewhere else every day.
Confession #368
I wanted to cry when I found out you felt as though you disappointed me. Times were tough and I'm so glad we pulled through, but I know now I let you down when you needed me most. I was so scared. I thought I was worried about you, but there were times when I was more worried about myself-what would it mean to ME if you changed. We both have our problems, but you are fabulous. What we have together is better than I ever dared to hope for. You've done so much for me, but I let you down. For that I am so ashamed. I will never be able to apologize enough. Sometimes I think I really don't deserve you.
Confession #369
I lied at the doctors office the other day.....again. "will he be here to take you home after the treatment?" um, no he is out of town. when they took me back to the room some materials where there about resources for the single parent. they know i lie about where you are. and when you call during and i try to be brave and say i feel ok after i have puked a few times, and you know i feel bad and you say "i don't know what but i am going to do something nice for you tonight" and i get so happy with those words, and i am pathetic because you did not do anything nice. and when the treatment was done, the nurse said, "honey, please make sure there is someone here next week to give you a ride home"
Confession #370
When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
True Wife Confessions 36 Strategies of Zhuge Liang
Confession #351
Sometimes, when you are being a complete jerk, I stick my tongue out at you or give you the middle finger when you are not looking. Immature, yes. But it's the only way I can think of venting my anger in the moment without going off on you and telling you what I really think. If I ever did that, we'd be done.
Confession #352
You have had too many chances and fucked them all up. I am sick of being threatened with the possibility you will cheat. I know you say you haven't cheated, but in my mind, looking for "discreet sex" behind my back is just as bad. Couple this with your drinking, lack of interest in anything but yourself, the years of being unemployed that I supported you, and your inability to do any menial task for yourself and what to you get? You get two weeks to get yourself some intensive mental help, or else I am going to help your ass out the door.
Confession #353
When you say, "I'll clean up the kitchen, honey" I kinda expect it to be...you know...CLEAN. My idea of a fun morning is not scraping crusted on food from the dishes you tossed in the sink. At least scrape them and put them in the dishwasher. And you want to know why you had no hot water for your shower this morning? Because you were too lazy to do this very job last night when you SAID you would. Lazy jerk.
Confession #354
When I picked you up, I thought this was going to be a two week thing or no better than a booty call, I mean was serially dating getting over getting over an abusive, lazy man and you told me you hated animals but I have a spoiled dog and I didn't trust men anymore, let alone have faith in them.
Then you came to see me at home every weekend and sat with my mom and played with my cousins I though: Oh my!
Then you got me blue (YES, BLUE!) roses cause you knew I hated the red roses my ex used to bring me to "appease me" I thought I was seeing things!
When I had the "Deadly Mutaba Virus" and I was coughing like a dog and my chest hurt so bad but you hugged me even harder so I wouldn't cry out in pain.. I could not believe my luck.. When you got sick cause you sat next to me and covered me up with kisses for a solid 3 days and spoke for me so I wouldn't lose what little voice I had; I loved you more than I have ever loved another human being cause instead of going out to drink and smoke pot like my ex used to do when I used to get sick YOU STAYED
When I was scared and I cried, you cried because you never see me cry and you couldn't believe I was holding so much in and then you proceeded to make me laugh, to reassure me you are here for me and that you love our life AND OUR SPOILED BABY DOG too….at that time I said a silent prayer of thanks to God for putting you in my life, J my love I thank you for all that you've given me and all the love and all "five minutes arguments", and the fun and the games of card….I hope to be able to give you back in this lifetime at least half of what you've given me.
Confession #355
I sometimes worry that our first child isn't yours. It is possible that the guy I met on spring break is the dad – but I couldn't even tell you his last name. At this point, it doesn't seem like it would do any good to tell you. But every time he gets blood work done I am petrified that we'll find out for sure. Now that our daughter is here, I worry that her blood type will give it away.
I think you wonder too. And thank you that you've never investigated further.
Confession #356
ok so yes I am 41 years old and still have a diary, but girls of my age called them journals. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING MY JOURNAL !!
So now I will have to burn it, yes I am writing about you- of what a pain in the ass you are and how I am SICK OF YOU BEING SUCK A F+*%#ING PUSSY!
and yes I DO talk to other people here at work and YES some of them are guys. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM TALKING LOVE TO THEM. I AM JUST TALKING ABOUT STUFF WITH SOME OTHER THEN YOU - you sick head.
Confession #357
I hate that you get mad at my mom for the way she is, yet your mom is a walking anxiety disorder and you think that she is making sense. I hate that we can't sit out on the deck and get drunk and make passionate love because you don't really drink. I do. I drink when you go to bed. I love my time alone. I love you, yet I don't feel passionate about you anymore. I want that back. And I think about my long-ago ex, for whom I did feel passion, every minute of every hour. I want to call him.
Confession #358
I hate that you don't listen. I hate that you interrupt me when I try to speak and talk over me when you want to change the subject. Despite what you think, the world does not revolve around you. The real reason that your friends call and talk to me instead of you? They think that you are an arrogant, rude, know it all and are tired of your bullshit and feel sorry for me because I have to put up with you.
Oh, and one other thing. That phony accent that you came up with to make yourself sound smarter and to disguise where you are really from? It is really annoying. And completely transparent. You sound like Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island.
Confession #359
I long for you to touch me more. Hugging, Kissing. Anything. You could repair so many things if you'd just touch me more. Not sex - that's the only time you do touch me , or when you've fucked something up so badly that you fear I'll leave you. A Caress. A hand holding. Although I've told you this a million times, you never do. I'm lonely. This is what will drive me to another man some day.
Confession #360
I knew we shouldn't have gotten married when we were at the hospital having our first baby and all you could think about was your cell phone. I made the decision to start preparing to leave when I was 7 months pregnant with #2 and you cheated on me with some 24 year old named Lisa. I decided to leave on Sept. 24, 2005 when we were in Mexico having the most rotten day of my life. I led you on when you wanted to move 1200 miles away from YOUR hometown -- said what a good idea it was to go live near my parents and get a "fresh" start. Now it's been 6 months since we moved, 3 months since you left here to go back to your momma. Guess what -- I just paid a private investigator to find your ass... you will have all the creditors after you (like they've been after me) AND have to pay for children I hope you will never see. And, remember that guy that I had a fling with when we were on a break 7 years ago? He's a better dad to your kids than you'll EVER be. As soon as this divorce shit is over, I'm taking all MY SHIT and moving back to MY hometown to be with him -- still 1200 miles away from you.
Sometimes, when you are being a complete jerk, I stick my tongue out at you or give you the middle finger when you are not looking. Immature, yes. But it's the only way I can think of venting my anger in the moment without going off on you and telling you what I really think. If I ever did that, we'd be done.
Confession #352
You have had too many chances and fucked them all up. I am sick of being threatened with the possibility you will cheat. I know you say you haven't cheated, but in my mind, looking for "discreet sex" behind my back is just as bad. Couple this with your drinking, lack of interest in anything but yourself, the years of being unemployed that I supported you, and your inability to do any menial task for yourself and what to you get? You get two weeks to get yourself some intensive mental help, or else I am going to help your ass out the door.
Confession #353
When you say, "I'll clean up the kitchen, honey" I kinda expect it to be...you know...CLEAN. My idea of a fun morning is not scraping crusted on food from the dishes you tossed in the sink. At least scrape them and put them in the dishwasher. And you want to know why you had no hot water for your shower this morning? Because you were too lazy to do this very job last night when you SAID you would. Lazy jerk.
Confession #354
When I picked you up, I thought this was going to be a two week thing or no better than a booty call, I mean was serially dating getting over getting over an abusive, lazy man and you told me you hated animals but I have a spoiled dog and I didn't trust men anymore, let alone have faith in them.
Then you came to see me at home every weekend and sat with my mom and played with my cousins I though: Oh my!
Then you got me blue (YES, BLUE!) roses cause you knew I hated the red roses my ex used to bring me to "appease me" I thought I was seeing things!
When I had the "Deadly Mutaba Virus" and I was coughing like a dog and my chest hurt so bad but you hugged me even harder so I wouldn't cry out in pain.. I could not believe my luck.. When you got sick cause you sat next to me and covered me up with kisses for a solid 3 days and spoke for me so I wouldn't lose what little voice I had; I loved you more than I have ever loved another human being cause instead of going out to drink and smoke pot like my ex used to do when I used to get sick YOU STAYED
When I was scared and I cried, you cried because you never see me cry and you couldn't believe I was holding so much in and then you proceeded to make me laugh, to reassure me you are here for me and that you love our life AND OUR SPOILED BABY DOG too….at that time I said a silent prayer of thanks to God for putting you in my life, J my love I thank you for all that you've given me and all the love and all "five minutes arguments", and the fun and the games of card….I hope to be able to give you back in this lifetime at least half of what you've given me.
Confession #355
I sometimes worry that our first child isn't yours. It is possible that the guy I met on spring break is the dad – but I couldn't even tell you his last name. At this point, it doesn't seem like it would do any good to tell you. But every time he gets blood work done I am petrified that we'll find out for sure. Now that our daughter is here, I worry that her blood type will give it away.
I think you wonder too. And thank you that you've never investigated further.
Confession #356
ok so yes I am 41 years old and still have a diary, but girls of my age called them journals. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING MY JOURNAL !!
So now I will have to burn it, yes I am writing about you- of what a pain in the ass you are and how I am SICK OF YOU BEING SUCK A F+*%#ING PUSSY!
and yes I DO talk to other people here at work and YES some of them are guys. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM TALKING LOVE TO THEM. I AM JUST TALKING ABOUT STUFF WITH SOME OTHER THEN YOU - you sick head.
Confession #357
I hate that you get mad at my mom for the way she is, yet your mom is a walking anxiety disorder and you think that she is making sense. I hate that we can't sit out on the deck and get drunk and make passionate love because you don't really drink. I do. I drink when you go to bed. I love my time alone. I love you, yet I don't feel passionate about you anymore. I want that back. And I think about my long-ago ex, for whom I did feel passion, every minute of every hour. I want to call him.
Confession #358
I hate that you don't listen. I hate that you interrupt me when I try to speak and talk over me when you want to change the subject. Despite what you think, the world does not revolve around you. The real reason that your friends call and talk to me instead of you? They think that you are an arrogant, rude, know it all and are tired of your bullshit and feel sorry for me because I have to put up with you.
Oh, and one other thing. That phony accent that you came up with to make yourself sound smarter and to disguise where you are really from? It is really annoying. And completely transparent. You sound like Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island.
Confession #359
I long for you to touch me more. Hugging, Kissing. Anything. You could repair so many things if you'd just touch me more. Not sex - that's the only time you do touch me , or when you've fucked something up so badly that you fear I'll leave you. A Caress. A hand holding. Although I've told you this a million times, you never do. I'm lonely. This is what will drive me to another man some day.
Confession #360
I knew we shouldn't have gotten married when we were at the hospital having our first baby and all you could think about was your cell phone. I made the decision to start preparing to leave when I was 7 months pregnant with #2 and you cheated on me with some 24 year old named Lisa. I decided to leave on Sept. 24, 2005 when we were in Mexico having the most rotten day of my life. I led you on when you wanted to move 1200 miles away from YOUR hometown -- said what a good idea it was to go live near my parents and get a "fresh" start. Now it's been 6 months since we moved, 3 months since you left here to go back to your momma. Guess what -- I just paid a private investigator to find your ass... you will have all the creditors after you (like they've been after me) AND have to pay for children I hope you will never see. And, remember that guy that I had a fling with when we were on a break 7 years ago? He's a better dad to your kids than you'll EVER be. As soon as this divorce shit is over, I'm taking all MY SHIT and moving back to MY hometown to be with him -- still 1200 miles away from you.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
True Wife Confession 35 -Eligible to be elected President
Confession #341
When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you
Confession #342
I hate how you belittle everything I say by making it seem like all or nothing. I told you I need a break. I need some help. I can't take you coming home at 8 p.m. every night. I asked you to come home early a couple of nights a week. But all you do is tell me, well you either want the money or you me at home. I want to tell you that one night when you get home so late, you will think every is in bed asleep. But we will be gone
Confession #343
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! you are driving me nuts, you are such a pussy! get a back bone and start making decisions for yourself. I don't ask you if I can go out for lunch, why must you call me first - I am NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!! she can't even stand to listen to you either. If you aren't going to use your dick, then by all means cut it off and give it to someone who will. you fucking pussy man.
Confession #344
When I "OOPS" got pregnant with our second baby when our first was only a few months old...I did that on purpose. I knew then that we probably were not going to make it. I wanted another child, for myself and so our daughter would not be an only child. I did not want to have to take any biological clock issues into account later.
Confession #345
I am not losing weight on purpose. I need you to love me the way I am. If I lost 50 lbs. and you bacame a better husband I would hate you for it because I would know for a fact how shallow you are. Now, I only suspect it. When you are gone I will loose the weight because I hate it even more than you do
Confession #346
When you go into the bathroom, lock the door and spend like 30 minutes..every day. I know you are jacking off in there. I guess it is good that you know how to make SOMEBODY come.
You have never given me an orgasm. Ever.
Confession #347
I think your parents are ignorant morons. Always have. Always will. I used to wonder how you turned out so normal. Now, after 10 years, I know you didn't.
Confession #348
Remember when I found out my father was terminally ill and you just gave me a quick hug and said "Sorry. But if anybody can beat this it is your Dad." And then left the house to do some stupid, unimportant thing with your buddies? I lost more respect and love for you at that moment than at any other single time during our marriage.
When you told me you were leaving and I cried. It was for our children. For my own sake I felt only relief.
You said you felt my father had forgiven you for leaving me and the kids before he died. You were wrong. If he hadn't been so sick he would have kicked your ass.
Confession #349
your nasty feet make me want to vomit
Confession #350
No matter whether you get 4 hours or 14 hours of sleep, you are the crankiest SOB when you wake up. You wake up all mopey and refuse to speak and do nothing but heave these ultra heavy sighs. Grow up. By the time you decide to open your eyes, I've been up for 2 hours with the baby and have the laundry done for the day.
When you whine all day about how exhausted you are, and then choose to come home and stay up to 2:00 a.m. to watch movies or toy around online, don't expect sympathy.
When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you
Confession #342
I hate how you belittle everything I say by making it seem like all or nothing. I told you I need a break. I need some help. I can't take you coming home at 8 p.m. every night. I asked you to come home early a couple of nights a week. But all you do is tell me, well you either want the money or you me at home. I want to tell you that one night when you get home so late, you will think every is in bed asleep. But we will be gone
Confession #343
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! you are driving me nuts, you are such a pussy! get a back bone and start making decisions for yourself. I don't ask you if I can go out for lunch, why must you call me first - I am NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!! she can't even stand to listen to you either. If you aren't going to use your dick, then by all means cut it off and give it to someone who will. you fucking pussy man.
Confession #344
When I "OOPS" got pregnant with our second baby when our first was only a few months old...I did that on purpose. I knew then that we probably were not going to make it. I wanted another child, for myself and so our daughter would not be an only child. I did not want to have to take any biological clock issues into account later.
Confession #345
I am not losing weight on purpose. I need you to love me the way I am. If I lost 50 lbs. and you bacame a better husband I would hate you for it because I would know for a fact how shallow you are. Now, I only suspect it. When you are gone I will loose the weight because I hate it even more than you do
Confession #346
When you go into the bathroom, lock the door and spend like 30 minutes..every day. I know you are jacking off in there. I guess it is good that you know how to make SOMEBODY come.
You have never given me an orgasm. Ever.
Confession #347
I think your parents are ignorant morons. Always have. Always will. I used to wonder how you turned out so normal. Now, after 10 years, I know you didn't.
Confession #348
Remember when I found out my father was terminally ill and you just gave me a quick hug and said "Sorry. But if anybody can beat this it is your Dad." And then left the house to do some stupid, unimportant thing with your buddies? I lost more respect and love for you at that moment than at any other single time during our marriage.
When you told me you were leaving and I cried. It was for our children. For my own sake I felt only relief.
You said you felt my father had forgiven you for leaving me and the kids before he died. You were wrong. If he hadn't been so sick he would have kicked your ass.
Confession #349
your nasty feet make me want to vomit
Confession #350
No matter whether you get 4 hours or 14 hours of sleep, you are the crankiest SOB when you wake up. You wake up all mopey and refuse to speak and do nothing but heave these ultra heavy sighs. Grow up. By the time you decide to open your eyes, I've been up for 2 hours with the baby and have the laundry done for the day.
When you whine all day about how exhausted you are, and then choose to come home and stay up to 2:00 a.m. to watch movies or toy around online, don't expect sympathy.
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