True Wife Confessions 84 -International direct dial to Vietnam

Confession #831

I know neither of us want to have kids. I don't like
the thought of being pregnant or giving birth, and I
don't know how I would do with the daily grind of
raising children. But sometimes when I think of the
possibility that you might die before me, I want to
change my mind because then at least I would still
have part of you with me in the form of a child.

I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to
love someone. I know we occasionally irritate each
other, and I know you sometimes get annoyed when I
want to hang out with you all the time and you just
want to watch sports with your friends. I don't want
to be morbid, but I know that if you were to die I
would give absolutely anything just to spend one more
hour with you and I want to take full advantage of all
the time we've got. I might regret wasting time doing
other stuff but I would never regret spending more time
with you. You are my best friend and my other half
and I hope we have 80 more years together.

Confession #832

I need you to know that I love you with all me heart. I am so afraid that I
will wake up some morning and you will be gone. No not to another woman, but
gone from this earth.
You know what kind of basket case I was after my mom passed away. Her
leaving so suddenly just ripped me open.
Thinking of facing each day without by my side terrifies me.
For the past 24 years you have been my strength. You have been the best
father, step-father and now grandfather.
You have ridden this roller coaster with me and it hasn't be such a bad
ride. But now that we are getting older and talk so much about retiring I
fear that before that day comes something will happen to shatter our plans.
Forgive me for being a worry wart. But you see without that shinning face
of yours, and the gentle touch that you have and the way that you know that
my day just hasn't been quite right I would be a mess.
And what about all of these children?? I know all but 3 are grown and some
are parents now too, but what would they do without you to lean on, to share
with? You the only Mets fan in the bunch. Who would they have to tease about
that?
Please know in my heart you always will be. Jesus brought us together for a
reason and I will never question Him, I will only praise Him and thank Him
for He knew what I needed before I did.
I thank you for everything. No matter how tight money is you always make
sure the kids have what they need. Thank you for keeping me centered and
helping me to put the past behind me and reminding me that not any of it was
my fault.
I send you tender kisses and gentle hugs everyday until you go home to be
with our Lord.

Confession #833

4 and a half years ago, after failing miserably to flirt with you, and then having to almost beg you for sex; you said you'd come through to the bedroom in a minute, and proceeded to keep me waiting 15 minutes.
Then you switched on the bedroom TV and watched football as you undressed. You never looked at me once. Your eyes were glued to the screen. It took you at least 5 minutes to undress, because you were so riveted to the TV. It wasn't even 'your team'. If it had been 'your team' , I would have known not to even bother trying. It was just 'some team from another league'.. not an important game, just a game. I was really annoyed that you were so glued to it when it meant nothing to you. It must have meant that making love with your wife meant even less than nothing.

The sex was average. Bog-standard. Quick and painless. Mechanical. I cant even remember now whether or not i had an orgasm, but i probably didn't.

As we lay there afterward, you watching the football ( you at least had the decency to switch it over to music videos while we were doing it, but then switched it back to the football once we'd finished), I calmly and quietly and with no trace of anger in my voice, said to you, 'Next time, it's your turn to initiate sex. I'm tired of being the one who always initiates it.' I think you said 'ok', but i cant really remember now.

But that time, 4 and a half years ago, was the last time we had sex. Because if i don't initiate it, it apparently doesn't happen.

The first 2 years, after that last time, were tough. I was gagging for it... I'd have jumped on you in a heartbeat if you'd asked me. But i was sticking to my guns. I wanted to see how long it would take you to turn things around... to be a man. And it didn't happen. Gradually, i started getting used to not having sex, and now i don't miss it at all. Now i live in fear that one day you are going to want it. And I don't want it ... not at all.

Confession #834

I like pretending that our big, underlying problems will go away: your anxiety, my attempting eating disorder recovery with you around, the drinking that assuages your anxiety, the anger that's sparked by your drinking, the eating disorder relapses that are sparked by your drinking. I keep telling myself, "We're young. I'll get over being so sensitive when he's anxious about 'bad' food or some big deal at work. He'll get over when other guys talk to me and how he drinks a bottle of wine a night, and slurs his words, and falls asleep before 8:30."

I know I'm a dirty liar. I know I've either got to get you to deal with all this stuff WITH me, or that we're headed for that 50/50 path to divorce.

We're not even going to be married for eleven months yet.

Confession #835

I'm actually glad I found your profile on that nasty website. Now I have a good, concrete reason to leave your sorry ass and never look back. And you're right, I'm not in love with you anymore. You have managed to kill any good feelings I had for you, and instead of being a man and telling me you wanted "passion" and to have those "feelings" (for somebody else) you had to take the cowardly way out. Again. So I'm going to have the balls that you never did, and end this nightmare once and for all.

Confession #836

I love you more than life itself BUT please don't talk to me while I'm sitting on the toilet. We've been married for more than a decade and we've always had a closed door policy. It's bad enough that the kids walk in on me with wild abandon. Don't you start doing it too. It's nice that you want to talk to me and all but please, just give me a minute. Or 5.

Confession #837

Yes, we're anonymous. And we only write because we're sure we'll stay that way.

Were it not so, would I say how much I've come to dread sex with my husband, whom I love but who makes me feel like nothing more than a hole in the mattress?


Confession #838

I need to say this.....when I didn't want to have sex because I had been having nightmares about my childhood, about how I was molested, and I just needed to talk about it, I felt so messed up inside, so hurt and wounded.....you wouldn't take no for an answer. You took off my clothes while I struggled, you did your thing while i lay sobbing, saying no, you got off and said I'm sorry....you raped me. At one of my lowest possible moments you did that to me. You shattered all the sense of safety and security I had left, the safety I thought I had now in my adult life, now that the rest was the past. You made me empty inside. And I stayed for 3 more years and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for not being able to protect myself as an adult, I hate myself for thinking so little of myself that I would accept that. I hate you for the hell you put me through in those last 3 years, when I would freeze up during sex, and never want to be with you like that. I used to have panic attacks just praying you would hurry up. And all you could think about was yourself and you treated me like nothing, like i was worthless for not being able to satisfy you. I feel ruined and I hate you. I just needed you to love and support me thru a terrible time, and thats what you did to me. I thank God you will never have the opportunity to touch me again.

Confession #839

to my dearly beloved:

i suppose it would bother you to call me once in a while. (me talkin' selfish)

i stayed home sick from work today. im not feeling well. (and that's true)

i miss my husband and im FUCKING sick of it. (that doesn't even do it justice)

i love you and i cant even tell you. (i want to tell you)

why did it come to this anyway? (the age-old question)

lets examine the situation (hmmmmmmmm....)

i fell in love with you; and you with me (6 years ago)

we got married and had a wonderful --though challenging--time (but worth it)

but marriage was and is the best thing weve ever experienced (seriously)

and yet we decided to put it on the line (why? why? why?)

and test it one more time ( 1 )

the hardest time of all (hard)

and were hanging in there and being strong (we are, i am, are you?)

but were learning a lesson weve already learned (3 times over)

we already knew we love eachother (i always knew)

we already knew we are faithful (i swear i am)

we definitely already knew nothing can break us apart (nothing ever has)

so why are we going through this again? (?)

well i hate it because being away from you is like a prison sentence

not even lethal injection would be worse

when you get home my life will resume from being on pause

and if you still love me ill be the most blessed person on earth

(and quite possibly mars)

(oh, did you hear that Pluto is no longer considered a planet? i swear on us that's true. they demoted it recently and now there are only 8 planets i swear on us)

ok i love you

Stay safe out there and come home soon. Only 8 more months Sergeant!

Confession #840

If you could just PRETEND to take an interest in the wedding planning, it would make me feel so special. I have given up so much for you: My acting, my writing, my independent career. I went to work with you because I'm too spineless to stand up to you and admit that we may have different lifestyle ideals (even though I'm not really sure what mine are at all, or if they're different from yours). Can you please see that I like organizing and planning things, and that our wedding is a hugely important thing to me, and that I need you to act like you think it's important too? Please, please see that. Please see that our wedding planning is more important than one of your problems at work. Please see that our wedding is more important than your fucking fantasy football league.

True Wife Confessions 83, a song by John Mayer...sigh.

Confession #821

I don’t like your mother anymore. We used to have a great relationship, but she can be downright mean anymore. I know I told you that it was ok that she bought more things for her other grandchild, but it’s not. It’s not our fault that we take care of our children and get them the things they need. I also don’t think it’s right that the other grandchild spends the night every weekend, but our kids have to schedule it in advance. And it’s piss poor that your mom does her laundry. And it’s awful that when we had to borrow money once in 10 years, we were harped until it was paid. But your sister still owes her money, but somehow, that’s ok. But we’re not the ones who filed bankruptcy or had the bank foreclose on our home. We’re the ones who go without so that our kids get what they need, but your sister and her husband buy fish and dvd’s and god only knows what else. We are the ones that do what we’re supposed to, but we get punished. So I guess if I stopped buying the kids the things they need, do you think she would pick up the slack??? Somehow I doubt it. Your sister’s kid is her favorite and you know it. You just don’t want to admit it. It bothers me that none of this stuff bothers you, but when it comes to my parents, you have no trouble admitting fault.

Confession #822

I hate it when you stick your finger in my butthole during oral sex. It totally ruins all the excitement I have built up. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If you do it one more time I am going to stick a finger up your butt the next time I give you a blowjob.

Confession #823

I am addicted to porn. I watch it at least once a day, and not even the "normal" stuff. Gay porn, animal porn, lesbians. You name it. And I don't know why I do it. When I think about it now, I get grossed out. But when I see two guys fucking eachother I get so horny-- hornier than sex in person with you or anyone else could ever make me. I can't tell you because I held it against you when you watched porn. Maybe you're still doing it behind my back while I do it behind your back. I don't know. Maybe we're both sick fucks who deserve each other.

Confession #824

I hate my stepson. I can't stand him. I can't wait until he moves out and he doesn't even live with us full-time. I work late the days you have him just so I don't have to come home to him.

Confession #825

All these years later, I can't stop dreaming about him and wondering what
would have happened if he and I had admitted we loved each other. And I feel
terrible thinking those things, because I know that our relationship saved
you, our marriage and our children saved you, and because I love you deeply.
And I am a hypocrite for holding on to him, because the thought of you
loving someone else would break my heart.

But sometimes I think I will miss him for the rest of my life. Sometimes I
think that if he called and said he needed me, I would drop everything.

I'm sorry. I do love you.

Confession #826

You stupid fucking idiot. I just had the WORST day of my freaking life at work, my boss yelled at me for missing three Mondays in the LAST YEAR of work, and all I wanted to do was come home and cry on your shoulder - which is weird, because I haven't been all that happy about our marriage lately at all. You came in the door and I was actually glad to see you, so I could finally get some release, and when I told you I was yelled at, WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? You said, "Yeah, you miss a lot of work. If I'd been your boss I would have talked to you about it a long time ago." You fucking jerk. Now I'm crying and I'm not speaking to you, and thinking, today I only wanted to quit my job. YOU make me want to quit my marriage. Way to go you goddamn fucking jerk.

Confession #827

I know that you wait until you think "I'm asleep" and
masturbate. I'm not really asleep. I can hear you
doing it and I watch you out of the corner of my eye.


I think it's really sexy, but where is the come!?

Confession #828

Honey,

I am sorry that I have been difficult.I am sorry that I keep saying that I want a divorce. I just don't know what else to do. I don't know how else we can get over this impasse. I love you incredibly, I need you and I want you but I also need to be trusted, I also want to be believed. I deserve that respect. Why can't you just tell me that you don't want a divorce. I guess you kind of do when you ask me why would I want to tear our family apart, but you don't say the words. Just say them.I do not want a divorce. That would make me feel so much better, and hold me while you say them. Kiss my forehead. Please, please stop believing another person over me. I deserve that respect. If nothing else because I am your wife I deserve it. I don't know if I can live with it if you continue to choose that friendship over me. A part of me feels that it would be easier to end it now than to know that you would. That way I would never have to know that you wouldn't choose me. Also defend me, don't allow that person to talk about me, and if you did defend me and just didn't say anything about it, then tell me that you did defend me. I would appreciate that.

Confession #829

I wanted to punch you in the face when you told me you didn’t need me to give you a ride. Don’t make me stay out with you so I can go home by myself. I almost wished you had gotten pulled over.

Confession #830

It really pisses me off the way you act in the mornings when I wake you up. I understand you're not a morning person, but guess what? I'M NOT EITHER. Why should you get to sleep in every morning while I get 2 kids fed and dressed and lunches packed and bookbags ready? Lose the selfish attitude already!!

True Wife Confessions 82 - The # of games in a regular NHL season (for you, Nancy!)

Confession #811

I'm not positive that I want you for anything more than sex. I have pondered it, and even with our past as a teacher I think there's a good chance we could work as a pair. I'm not obsessing about it this time. If we try to force it, it won't happen. Neither of us can be forced. I can be patient and I know you can too. I admire you, respect you, and even find your "bad" traits endearing. I've never said it out loud, because there's so much bullshit surrounding this stupid word, but I fucking love you (too.) Just for being you. It's never been extremely passionate, but you've always remained on my brain. I just didn't think we'd get this chance again so I moved on. Maybe we won't actually get the chance, and that's fine, but I'm glad we're at least talking. I've never enjoyed talking to someone as much as I enjoy talking to you. We really get each other and I think we compliment each other in all the right ways. If we end up doing it, we have to do it right this time. I don't want to wonder what could've been anymore. Lets not fuck it up again.

Confession #812

I honestly feel like you have ruined my life. I refer to "my old life" before you, when I actually felt alive and successful. You have made me a worthless failure. I know that I will be a nobody as long as I stay with you. I knew that when I married you. I keep hoping you will change and thank my some day.

Confession #813

You are 9 days away from losing me. I'm not kidding. If you haven't called in 9 more days, you can go find yourself a new best friend. I understand that you are busy and I understand that you work weird hours. But it's been 8 days since I saw you and 6 days since you ended a 5 minute conversation with "I'll call you back." I'm tired of being the one who makes the effort and I'm tired of being taken for granted. We've had this fight before and I've looked past it. But no more. It's going to take way more than a funny comment or a great day spent together to get me back in your life if you screw this up. In 9 days I will begin the progress of getting over the last three years. It'll be one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I will do it. It's your call.

Confession #814

Today you brought up your idea of us going away for an extended weekend. At first I thought that maybe you wanted to do this so we can reconnect, knowing how troubled our marriage has become lately. However, the fact that you started to bitch and complain as soon as I oh-so-gently brought up that a seven hour drive to go somewhere for a short weekend (while leaving our toddler for the first time in a very long time), may not be such a great idea for such a short stay, made me not even want to do this. The fact that you sound and act like a child whenever you don't get your way, while lacking all sense of logic, makes me resent and loathe you even more. The truth is, I don't think going anywhere with you is gonna help this shitty relationship. We could go to Mars and you'd still be a dick.

Confession #815

The umpteenth night you wet the bed, I told you: if you didn't at least step to with at least 30 minutes of physical contact a night to compensate for your general alcoholic neglect of my feelings, I was going to have an affair. You vowed to change, but then you had a stressful evening and I was sure your efforts were doomed. I prayed to God that you would at least not be hateful to me, even if you were going to drink yourself into oblivion. You surprised me by mastering your frustrations without drinking that night, and now you've been relatively sober and way more considerate than usual for a whole week. It is so, so pleasant not to be pissed off at you and to think we might get through the rest of our married life without hating each other after all ... please, please keep with it.

But I am kind of sorry I don't have an excuse now for the affair. Oh well. It would have been hot, too.

Confession #816

You are a perfectly nice person, but I do not love you. I want to leave but you are making this very hard for me. We do nothing but fight because we are completely different people with different goals in life. Please stop trying to fix this relationship and let me go. It is the best thing for us and we both know it. I feel so guilty about leaving when you are trying so hard to fix things that can never be fixed. I am tired of sacrificing everything that I want and hold dear for you and not getting much in return. It is just part of your nature and I accept it. But I can't live with it anymore. And I am not going to try to change you because the effort is futile. And you should realize that applies to me too. We are both simply too set in our ways. For once in your life please concede the battle and let it go. Acknowledge that we made a mistake and move on.

Confession #817

I am jealous of you. It makes me sick that you only have a high school
diploma and make more money than me while I worked my butt off for 4 years
in college and can't find a decent paying job. I love that you are able to
support us and our son, but inside it makes me cry that my degree might as
well be a GED because the job market in our town sucks. And I know you are
as dissapointed in me as I am even though you have never said it directly.
I'm sorry I lash out at you, it is my self defense for my very low self
esteem. I have gained 100 lbs since we got married and you deserve better
than a fat wife who can't even get a job to pay off her own student loans.
I love you so much and pray that you will never get tired of putting up with
me.


Confession #818

We've been married for 18 years, that have mostly been great. You are the only man I've ever been with, and I felt like we would always be together.

But guess what I just found out? My last pap smear revealed that I have HPV. How on earth does a woman with one sexual partner for 18 years suddenly get HPV? I can only think of one way, you fucking cheater.

Confession #819

To my ex-husband,
I promised you that if I was ever ready to introduce another man into our children's lives I would inform you. Well consider your self informed. While I am at it let me inform you about a few other things. I have been dating him for three months and sleeping with him for two months. In that time he has given me more orgasms than you did in the entire 10 years we were together. He loves to have sex with me and can't keep his hands off me. Remember how you only wanted sex once every two weeks and then it only lasted like 5 minutes? He wants me all the time. I have finally met my match! He can't believe how Say I am to please. Let's face it. You are not a very tough act to follow. He's tall. Very tall. I can wear my highest heels and he still has to bend over to kiss me. I love that. Remember how I had to wear flat slippers and make sure my veil did not pouf up over my head at our wedding so I wouldn't tower over you. I never minded your height, or lack thereof. I minded that I was made to feel like "Lurch" as you kindly put it. 5'10" is not "freakishly tall" for a woman.

I wanted to laugh in your face last month when you accused me of being jealous of your girlfriend. I actually don't have a problem with her. I am, of course, concerned about anyone who is spending time with my children and I did not think it was appropriate for you to bring her to Parents' Night at our daughter's school but I am not jealous. Why would I be? That poor girl has a lot of disappointment coming her way. I know why she is so crazy about you. I felt that way myself once. You put on a really good show in the beginning. But one of these days she is going to reach for you in the night and you will push her away and say "get off me. I don't want that right now." And then you will do it again and again and again until next thing she knows she will be grateful for any kind of affection you are willing to throw her way. One of these days she will not be feeling well and she will leave some dishes in the sink or will forget and use the wrong kind of rice and you will flip out and tell her she is a lousy girlfriend or wife or whatever. I hope for her sake she is smarter than I was.

You will meet my new man soon enough. You are going to hate him. You always hate people who make you look bad by being better at things than you are. I don't have words for how much better he is at making me happy.

Confession #820

Don't lie to me. Don't offer to get the kids up and take them to
school at some nebulous time in the future and then tell me no when I
ask you to do it. You wonder why I never think to ask for your help?
Because when I do, you either have something else planned or you're too
tired.
Hello? I have twice as many credit hours this semester as you do. Not
only that, but I work. You don't. I know, it was my idea for you to
take your first semester off work so you could concentrate on school,
but I really thought you would help out a little more around the house.
(Shows what I get for thinking, huh?)
If I say I'm depressed, don't act like its all in my head. Don't tell
me 'well, don't'. If it gets bad enough that I'm telling you, I'm not
looking for sympathy- I'm warning you to watch it, because every time I
get this way, I get one step closer to kicking you out. I could do it
on my own. You and I both know I could. You need me. I don't need
you. You're only still here because I choose to keep you around.
Today, I'm wondering why.

True Wife Confessions 81 Don't piss off Lizzie Borden

Confession #801

When I came back from my last trip, I looked you in the eye and realized I wasn't happy to see you. I had been gone for a month and that whole time I wasn't sure what my reaction would be when I saw you again. Maybe it is because a distance has grown between us that is greater than the distance between Canada and Egypt. Maybe it is because when I called you from Cairo you got off the phone quickly to spend more time with the boys, drinking. Whatever the reason I just need to find a way to say Good-bye.

Confession #802

I love you. You are a good man, and a good husband. I kissed someone else recently, and although we'd all been drinking, I made the decision, I took the action, and the only part I regret is that the memory of it is fading. I don't understand why I want to run wild with all sorts of other men. I don't understand why my sex drive for you has dissapeared. I don't think that I deserve to stay married to you - your trust and your patience are infinite, and I don't deserve either of those things. The other man isn't anybody to me, but the kiss was something I will always remember and I will never tell you about. I miss the heart-pounding excitment of someone new. I wonder if I will be able to pull my head out of my ass and save our marriage. I don't know.

Confession #803

You are a punk-ass dick. Your laziness and narcissism know no bounds.

For example: tonight, when "we" made dinner for our friends? I looked up recipes, visited three different grocery stores, spent $50 on groceries, made 2 appetizers, a main dish, two sides and bread. About 3 hours of my time. I was glad to do it, though, to make everything good and nice.

And you? You threw a hissy fit because I asked YOU to cook the rice. Poor baby had to get off his ass for 5 minutes.

You suck.

Confession #804

From one wife to another...

I'm sorry for sleeping with your husband for 18 months. But your the dumb ass, who decided to stay with him after receiving a copy of my blog and finding out that not only had we been seeing each other several times a week for 18 months, but that we spent a weekend together in your house 10 years ago.
He was engaged to me 24 years ago, it should be apparent to you by now, that he will never get over me. So don't see back and act as though your the victim in all of this. Your no victim, we did this right under your nose. I showed up at your family outings and I was on the beach with you on your family vacation. He was inviting me to all of these places, because he enjoyed seeing me while you were sitting right there.
He gave me the key, the garage door opener, and the security to your house, so that I retrieve the condom wrapper that we left on your dresser. So no one, broke into your house to find that you cut the sizes out of all of your clothes. Honey, if your embarrassed about your fat ass.....lose weight.
I don't know how you can stay with a man that you will always be suspicious of. You have to go to all the sports event that he used to share with his son, just so that he won't meet up with me for a kiss. When you found out, he told me to just give you some time to get over it, and then we'd be back on. From this point forward, it will always be in the back for your mind, is he thinking of her, is he loving her in his mind? I can assure you, that he is. Enjoy your life with your wimpy ass husband who loves another woman and always will.
But please stop whining about it, it was your choice to stay with him.

Confession #805

I hate what a liar you are. I can never believe a thing you say. I don't have the energy - or money - to go to counseling any more. Liars are my biggest pet peeve. The irony is not lost on me that that's what I ended up married to. You think it's funny to lie to me as a joke, and it's not. I can't even count the times I've told you that IT'S NOT FUNNY. And lying about doing chores around the house... you can't even get off your ass to help me out? I'm 6 weeks pregnant with a child we've tried for for nearly two years, and after already having one miscarraige I'm trying to take it easy. And yet you have to yell at me when I ask you to pick up around the house.

I know you work and I don't, but I'm busting my ass at school and trying to take care of myself for the sake of our unborn child. This doesn't mean it's okay for you to hide in the basement and play xbox when I've asked you a million times to pick up after yourself. You are a slob. I know I'm not the neatest person ever but I cleaned this house top to bottom a couple weeks ago, right before I found out I was pregnant. Ever since then you've barely lifted a finger and this place is a shithole. You want to bring our baby into this? Why don't you just clean up after yourself instead of lying to me about it?

I love you and I really don't think I'll ever leave you but you wear me so thin sometimes. I wish you would grow the fuck up, quit lying, be a man and take care of your house and family. AND QUIT LYING. AND PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF. I'm not your fucking maid, and you know that when I try to do too much, I get cramps. That can't be good for the baby. Why can't you just help me out? Why can't you be nice to me other than the times when I break down and cry?

Confession #806

At first I lied because I was embarrassed and it just went too far.
I lost my virginity to you- not him.
I'm terrified that you'll find out my secret and that you'll think our
marriage is based on lies.
I love you and would never lie to you- I've been completely honest with you
about everything else.
A part of me hopes you read this and knows, somehow, that it's me saying it.
Don't leave me

Confession #807

When you asked me if I liked him for more than a friend, I lied. I did have romantic feelings for him, but they are gone now. I never acted on them physically, although they did confuse me. I am worried that emotional cheating might be worse than physical cheating.

Marriage is so much harder than I ever expected that it would be. I know that we are going to counseling and working on things, but I don't know how much more I can take. I am thankful that you are willing to go to counseling, because many men wouldn't even dream of it, but everything you do annoys me.

The reason that I did like him for more than a friend was because he made me feel special. He said nice things to me everyday and he made me feel smart, funny, and sexy. He listened to me and cared what I had to say. Also, after not having an orgasm for soooo very long, his words helped me to feel good again.

I don't know why you don't understand how your drinking and smoking might repulse me when you want to get close. I don't know why you don't understand that chosing television or alcohol over me hurts me a lot. Things need to change, babe. No matter how much you love me or I love you, I can't keep living this way. I'm sorry for what I did, but I needed to feel loved and important. I will never tell you because I don't want to hurt you. I really just wish that you could give me what I need.

Confession #808

Dear Husband,

I am madly in love with the guy I work with. You know him. The one I brought home to meet you and then he practically moved in with us? The one that went on vacation with us? The one you consider such a 'good guy'? Yeah him. I am in love with him. Head over heels. If I could get him to lower his morals long enough for me to get him in bed It would be magical. Go ahead and tell him it is OK to fuck me because you sure aren't interested any more. Oh yeah, he also tells me I am the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He has told me he loved me on way more than one occasion. That is more that you have said EVER. He won't consider making a move because of you and his high morals. So, do something for ME for a change. Give him your approval. I need it and so does he. Sex that is.

Your wife.

Confession #809

I cannot wait for the day that your divorce is final; we were meant to be together. I love spending time with you and it doesn't matter what we do as long as I am by your side. Because of your patience with me, I have grown to respect and love you more than I thought was possible. You are my friend and my lover and hopefully one day you will be my husband.

I can say "I love you" even in the midst of an argument because you are so understanding and forgiving. I even love arguing with you because I know that it will not be counterproductive. I love you so much and I have not told you any of this because I am waiting for the day that you are legally free from the bondage that wrongfully represented your marriage.

I dream of the family that we will have together. I am missing you so much as I write this confession. We will be together soon, but not soon enough. I am patiently waiting for you, my love.

Confession #810

I am trying desperately to figure out a way to love you again. The truth is, although I used to love you, and was somewhat "in" love with you, I was never wildly in love with you, even when we first got together.

That's ok, though, as I was aware of the lack of passion, drama and intrigue between us when we began dating - and I was actually more than ok with that. I was consciously deciding to forego the "high highs" in order to avoid the "low lows".

While dating for an year and a half and in the first two years of our marriage, we had a good time. We were compatible. We loved each other and also let each other be. We respected each other. We traveled and had lots of fun, partying and whatnot.

Right on schedule, we got pregnant when I'd wanted to. Around that time, I changed. Grew up - got "boring". some would say. You never complained, and even made some changes of your own - I have to give you that.

But then you got laid off and did not work for a YEAR. A full year, at the time that we had a newborn baby, and I worked every day and we DROPPED OUR BABY OFF AT DAYCARE - you stayed home, playing video games and practicing poor hygiene.

I tried to cut you some slack because you had lost your dad a few months before. I do think you went through a depression. But the bottom line is, though I tried to fight it, I lost all respect for you. And I cannot just get it back.

Truth is, your flaws just started rising to the surface as more time went by. You lack ambition, you can be LAZY, you don't mind sitting back and letting me do everything, you are immature, you can be selfish. You always seem to make the wrong choice, in my mind.

As my respect for you disintegrated, everything else started to go, too. Our sex life went completely away. First, it was all from my end - but now I feel it from your end, too. All of the ED and Viagra and Cialis, etc. - what gives? I think your weak sex drive cannot stand up to the fact that my body has changed after 2 kids (although I am 120 lbs. and work out 4-5 days per week). So now, we have NO sex life.

Unfortunately, we do not have a friendship to fall back on. You golf/smokecigars/play online poker ad nausem, I run in 5Ks. We spend all of our time apart, except when watching TiVo. We are not friends, we are not even good roommates - more like partners in the raising of our children.

Is this it? I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. I am so schizophrenic when it comes to this relationship - I try to get my mind "right" - but each time, you do something that pisses me off / repulses me / disappoints me.

I feel for our children.

True Wife Confessions 80 Around the world in Days

Confession #791

When we got married 11 years ago I truly believed that I could love you forever. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm angry with myself for believing in you in the first place.

You're a great guy and probably the smartest person I know. But, why are we living in near poverty right now?

Oh! I know! I know! Because you can't (or won't) get your shit together. For a guy with a 4.0+ GPA and a computer science degree (6 years post graduation!!), you sure are stoopid!

I'm so angry right now that you've taken a perfectly great career path and done nothing with it. Not even 5 years ago you were making excellent money and now you're making $15/hr and we're living in near poverty.

I told you when you first decided you wanted to go into business with Moe, Larry and Curly that it WAS NOT GOING TO WORK. Why didn't you listen to me? Why didn't you take my advice and move on and work towards getting your career back on track?

Now, here we are with 2 children with not a damn thing to show for it. You're making $15/hr and can't seem to find the motivation to get us out of this mess. You say that you're working towards getting us out of this hole and you feel badly that you didn't make better career choices. Ok. Fine. Then why are you napping in the middle of the day instead of looking for a fucking job?!


LOSER!!

Confession #792

I am in shock. We have gone to marriage counseling. We've both heard how when we're angry we're supposed to use "I feel" statements. We are not supposed to use "loaded words". For 10 years now I've never felt like I've ever gotten through to you when we have an arguement. You say my feelings are unreasonable. You tell me I need to step in with a solution. When I do so, you tell me its not reasonable. You've just told me (in front of our child) that you "don't give a flying fuck about (my) feelings". You left the house angry. I suspect that when you do come home you will feel pefectly justified in what you said to me. And you will not apologize. Because this is what you do if the fight gets bad enough. Usually, I don't let that happen. I usually just give up. When I give up, I start to hate myself. And I start to hate you. And I hate that even when I give up and tell you that you have a point, to try to calm you down, that you still find ways to punish me afterwards. I guess we won't be having sex for at least a week because of this. Odds are you will probably not come home tonight either. I have told you in the past that if you stay out all night one more time, that's it. I'm gone.

Confession #793

I hope the man I slept with (with your permission) is at the party tonight. I still think about him but I'm still madly in love with you.

Confession #794

You have been reading Playboy and watching porn for thirty years. You've had girlfriends before me. Why is it that your enitre repertoire consists of "tweak tweak thrust thrust" in the missionary position?

Confession #795

When I catch you in a lie and you give me that hurt puppy dog look I want to slap you. Grow up and act like a man. If you think I'm being unreasonable, tell me instead of sneaking around my back.

Confession #796

We had three fights this week about the same thing. Its about our neighbors and how you let them freeload off of us. How they now EXPECT us to take care of their child. And how you often invite their child in and then expect me to babysit/feed her. The fight is also about how their special needs child has walked into our home without us knowing it. About how that child has had temper tantrums in our house (when he walked in uninvited) and had our son backed against a wall, cringing. I take that seriously. You say I have a chip on my shoulder regarding that family. The fight was also about how this special needs child will hit puberty soon and he doesn't have the mental capacity to understand what his surging hormones drive him to do. Its about how I've done research on this and how you haven't. You keep telling me there won't be any problems, I'm being a horrible, prejudiced person. You can call me that all you want. But I'm worried about my son. I'm worried that this oversized 10-year-old (who weighs about what I do) could over take our 35-pound son. I worry because we KNOW these people don't watch their children.

I don't know what to do. Yes, I don't like these people. But I feel it in my gut that something's bound to go wrong unless we take steps... And these people are sue-happy. And I worry that if their child were to hurt herself at our house, they'd sue us. Your retort to this was that I shouldn't worry. Since I stay home, you make all of the money and the house is yours. So they'd be suing you and not me. You tell me I'm being petty, mean and selfish. But you CLEARLY do not see this in yourself.

Confession #797

I'm not sure if it is your personal body chemistry or the medication you take, but your spunk STINKS. I'd like to stay and cuddle after we have sex, but as soon as you come I want to get that funk out of me. Even douching I smell it for 2-3 days afterwards, a blend of rotten dog hair and BO. I'm afraid other people will think it is me making that weird aroma. I used to love oral sex, but I can't take that weird medicinal taste, either. Sex used to be so fun and spontaneous. Now I feel like I need a haz-mat suit and a clean room before you get in my underwear.

Confession #798

I'm sorry but I'm done.

You are a great father and the kids love you, you are thoughtful are caring and responsible and probably would have made a perfect stay at home dad.
But your drinking and inability to trust me have worn me down, even though you are not as much of an assohole as you used to be. The years of drunken verbal abuse, completely ridiculous and unfounded accusations, and your insistance that I worry about what you might possibly think I'm up to if I say a certain thing that is out of the norm, or go visit my best friend. I don't give a fuck what you THINK I'm doing. I'm not doing anything, you asshole. Just because the sleezy ho's you hung out with when you were in a band used to fuck eachother's boyfriends, that is not a cross section of the general population. Your ideas about women are really fucked up and you need to get the fuck over it now. I am not FUCKING ANYONE, asshole. I never even thought about until you pounded it into my head, and now I want to.

When we are getting along I sometimes remember why I love you. I do still love you but I'm not in love with you anymore, you killed it a few weeks ago when you came home drunk, not even wasted, and started being an obnoxious argumentive dick. I withdrew from you like always and then I never came back, it just didn't happen this time.

When you are sober and not hung over I think you are a wonderful person, and I still really like you. We have fun together and I hope we can always be friends.

I told you the other night that I might consider staying with you if stopped drinking and trusted me completely. But I don't want to stay with you, I want to get on with my life without you holding me back because you are terrified I will leave you. Well I am leaving, I'd be gone already if you had any money to pay the mortgage. I can't wait unitl you can afford to move out. Everything is too hard, and I'm exhausted from arguing with you for 12 years. Even though you don't do that fucking silent treatment thing anymore I still remember the 6000 times you did it, sometimes for 4 or 5 days. I think you finally stopped doing it when you figured out that I didn't give shit anymore and I was happy you were leaving me the fuck alone so we didn't have to have another completely useless argument where you invariably told me I was selfish and there was no point in talking me.

So I'm done, and I'm sorry that you I am going to hurt you.

Confession #799

I didn't mind that you watch porn. I just wish that we could watch it together, as an adult couple in a committed relationship. Instead you watch it alone, while I'm at work or late at night after I've gone to bed. It hurts me that you're still so shy about your sexuality after all of these years, and nervous that you have something to hide. It makes me feel like there is something you need that I can't give you. You tell me that you'll never cheat on me, but you're giving the best of yourself to these "ideal" girls in their early twenties who are always "ready", never suffer PMS or a bad day at work, and are thin and beautiful. How could I compete? Why would I want to?

Confession #800

Its to the point where I think its just a lost cause. I think this is where I start to look for a job and a new place to live. You aren't interested in going to the marriage therapist anymore. You think its all my problem. I don't want to be divorced. But in all honestly, I've lost alot of respect for you. And you've really hurt me. To my very core

If I tell you that, I'm pretty sure of the reaction I will get. You will say, "You need to get over this. You need to move on. You just LOVE to hang on to that sort of thing." There won't be an apology. There rarely is.

True Wife Confession 79 - End of my first decade

Confession #781

You are the best husband that I could ever wish for. I know that you
know that I betrayed you but both of us are pretending it never
happened.

I wonder if it's better to just move on like this and I'm glad that
there was no confrontation about what i had done. It's just that I
don't know if it affected you, if you ever think about it, how it
affects you still, because you seem to be able to brush everything off
and nothing really bothers you and I just hope that you are ok.

I don't know how I got into that situation. I wasn't intending to do
that. At first I didn't accept the blame in my heart. I blamed him for
making me do it and coercing me into that situation, knowing how badly
I needed to feel a certain way. Now I take full responsibility for
what I did. Now I'm paying the price because i should never have
trusted another person and I got betrayed right back.

I love you with all my heart. You are the kindest, sweetest man in the world.
I don't deserve you and I think everyone knows that.

Confession #782

How can you be so awful to me? So cold, so mean, so utterly without feeling? You once loved me enough to marry me. I gave you your son, whom you love so much.
We've been apart for two years, and they've been the happiest two years of my adulthood, but when you do these awful things, it still hurts. I just don't understand how you can love someone, and then hate them. How can you treat me this way, after everything I did for you?


Confession #783

I can appreciate that you're a sensitive egg and love your family and want to spend time with them. However, being so fragile that you felt the need to leave your stressful job (working 45 hours a week) for one that might have been less time consuming but end up having crappier pay is not acceptable.

Since then in pursuit of another good paying job you have now been home with our daughter for 7 weeks (and will probably be close to 8 1/2 by the time you go back to work) while I work and carry the health insurance for the family for mediocre pay. 7 weeks already, is 2 more than I got to spend with her when she came home from the hospital a sick preemie. Sometimes I wish I had the luxuries you allow yourself and force on our family.

Confession #784

I said in August I was going to leave. I did. You won’t stop calling, emailing and generally making my life hell.

You stood me up, you lied to me and about me to your friends, you forgot my birthday, anniversaries, etc. You have never once in over 6 months come to a Dr’s appointment with me, a treatment, a middle of the night emergency room visit. You were never there for me. Talking to me from the bar for 5 minutes after I find out the cancer is back is not being supportive.

And somehow because I can’t take it anymore, I leave, I ask you to stop calling me – somehow I am being abusive. Well if the truth is abusive, then so be it. I don’t care what you think of me, I don’t care what your drunk 35 year old frat buddies think of me. I do care what I think of myself and what my son thinks of me. I feel battered, depressed and ugly from the last 3 years with you. I can just imagine what my son thinks of me.

I delete your voicemails without listening, your emails without reading and ignore your friends. But I still feel like I am going crazy. I covered for you for so long, that everyone thinks you’re wonderful. You’ve even begun to believe the lies you have told yourself.

You didn’t want me when I was there – I was never as important as the next beer or party – so why do you care that I’m gone? I am never coming back. You can not convince me anymore that you will change. All trust is gone. Please, please just leave me alone.

Confession #785

Every day when you get home from work and won't rest until you find me, kiss me, tell me you love me, and ask me how my day was, I suddenly realize...You are the best thing to ever happen to me.

And I'm grateful. I love you too.

Confession #786

I had confessed that I didn't know how to tell you we may be pregnant again. The hatred and hostility your whole family is showing me has made me decide to get an abortion without even telling you. I'm also planning on packing my bags and leaving, since you have stopped defending me. I don't want to have any more ties to you and your freakishly nosey family than the one we already have.

Confession #787

Dear Asshole



I hate you!!! And I mean it!

Confession #788

When you showed up at home with Flowers and a card for my birthday, it was the best thing you could have ever done. I was bummed because you had to work the night my birthday. However you showing up with the simplest gift, was a sign that I married a wonderful guy.

I look forward to spending many a birthday with you. (including our future children's birthday's)

I love you so much!!!! Thanks for everything that you do to help me out, without you I wouldn't survive!


Confession #789

I hate you and your low life parents!

Please tell me what possess them to call to say they are coming into town once they have already planned in, packed the motor home, and are halfway through the four hour drive to where we live?

Would it have killed them to call while they were thinking about it to see what our plans were?

Why do you not see the issue with this?

Why do you think this is ok?

Why do they?

I would never, ever plan a trip to visit some one without discussing it with them prior.

But then again, they are trash and it shows!

Confession #790

I am so sick of you. Honestly so sick of you that I would not care if I ever saw you again. The only problem with that plan is I love your daughter. I wish you understand how much of an ass you are when you are having one of your temper trantums and scream at me, “Fuck you then…..I’ll do it all by myself.” And the at six the next morning your on the phone pannicking because she is sick and, “What are you supposed to do?”

Idiot!!!! Use your fucking Brain…..oh wait….you don’t have one!

True Wife Confession 78, or the total numer of gifts in the 12 days of Christmas

Confession #771

I was nothing but the perfect wife to you. I allowed you to go out whenever you wanted, turned a blind eye to you when you cheated repeatedly on me, blindly turned over my paycheck so you could have the things you wanted. When I agreed to allow a third person in our relationship was the day I truly screwed up. I let this person come into our lives and gave her a home. I gave her my life without a second thought because it would make you happy. Now she is gone and has made a complete shambles of OUR lives. I want nothing more that to take her stupid face and smash it in the sidewalk. I want to take her clothes that she has left in out house and burn them in the middle of the street. I want to take all her stupid cherished knick knacks and smash them into a million pieces. I want to throw away her stupid books cause i cant stand to look at them. Oh yea...even though I really did start to care for her, cause she was my friend.....I always hoped for the day she would leave. I always thought of ways to kick her out. I always wanted her to go. Go far far away. I realize that our relationship is as screwed up as the next persons....but not having her around, I feel a strange sense of calm.

Confession #772

When I begged you to deal with the problems we were having , pleaded with you to attend counseling with me and you refused, in that moment, I didn't recognize you as the man I fell in love with. I didn't even see you as a man. All I saw was this oblivious being who felt his pride was more important than our relationship.

When you went with me anyway, that repaired so much. Just the agreement to go. My heart slowly started coming back to life.

And, sweetheart, when you led the first session off with, "I can't believe that she's put up with it all", I broke down and cried. Because he came back. In that moment I knew the man I loved wasn't lost forever, just on a hiatus.

Welcome home, you.

Confession #773

We are not in college, and our house is not a frat house or a dorm room. For the love of all things good and holy, PICK UP YOUR SHIT. The way you leave a pair of shorts or socks lying in the same sad heap on our bedroom floor for days (until I either pick them up or tell you to pick them up). The way you toss dirty dishes into the sink (or just on the counter) without rinsing them off at least. The way you drop trash on the floor and LEAVE IT because you "just didn't notice." START NOTICING. How do you think we're going to teach our kids to pick up after themselves when you can't even seem to figure it out???

Confession #774

I can't stand you anymore. You used to be a great listener, but all you do anymore is wait for an opening so you can take over the conversation. I'm sick and tired of hearing how great you are. You are such a braggart. Can't you at least pretend to be interested to what I'm saying? Can't you ask a question on occasion rather than just jumping off onto something else where YOU are the star? You're the most self-centered person I've ever met in my life. Get over yourself already. No one wants to listen to your bragging. Maybe that's why you have no friends in this town. We're all sick to death of hearing about YOU.

Confession #775

I am so homesick that I could scream. I hate living in the city (and I know you are not fond of it either) and want to go back. I promised you that I would stick it out here for 5 years so that you could get more experience. That was 7 years ago and you have no plans to start looking for a job closer to home. I am trying to be supportive of your career goals, but it is getting harder for me to do so. I have dreams of my own and they do not include the rat race of a large city. If you do not start treating my wishes with the same consideration that I have to treat yours, I am going to go and pursue what I want on my own. You know this, and don't seem to care. You are just not the person that I married, that man would have never broken such an important promise to me. I am not sure what happened, but somewhere along the way you became more concerned with making lots of money than me. I liked our marriage so much better when we were poor. At least then we were happy, but now it is all about work and what you can buy that you could not before.


Confession #776

I realize you agreed to move the bed to the center of the room and out of the corner in exchange for never having to make said bed again. However, it would seem that since (a) you have much more time to screw off in the morning and (b) you're usually the last one out of that bed, it would make much more sense for you to make it. Come on, all you have to do is pull up the covers and put the f'ing pillows back. Is that such a big deal? I would think a man with a college degree would be able to pull it off...

Confession #777

I've begged you to go to counselling for so long...now you've agreed but
I think it's a waste of time - ironic eh?

I think I'm done with this and with you. It's time for me to take my son
away from your constant derision, judgement, and scorn.

How an intelligent strong women like me ended up relinquishing so much
control to an insecure bully for so long is beyond me.

I'll do the counselling because I fought for it for so long but I don't
think I can be bothered any more, life's too short.

Confession #778

We are expecting our first child and I know -- and understand -- that you are scared, yet you've become so caring, careful, and affectionate. Don't get me wrong, you were these things before, but now? You made dinner last night, and each time I tried to help, you told me to go sit back down. Then, you did the dishes, too, and rubbed oil on my growing parts to help prevent the stretch marks. You ask me as soon as we get home how I feel, how my day was, do I need to take a nap. You initiated making a grocery list while you were cooking dinner last night, including pulling out a cookbook and making a list. You move the furniture for me when I'm vacumming and you massaged me after I overdid it this weekend.

Thank you for becoming a more wonderful husband; I can hardly wait to see the father that you'll be!!

Confession #779

I am becoming more and more depressed about our marriage. You are wonderful husband and father but I need intimacy, sex, kissing! Its been over two months since we had sex. I can count on one hand how many times we have made love this year. It shouldnt be that way. I dont know why we dont. I feel maybe you arent attracted to me anymore. I miss being with you, kissing you and loving you. I dont know what to do to change things. It seems you just arent interested. At night sometimes I just want to kiss and lay together but we always end up watching tv. Then when I mention it you want to jump on me right then. I want some romance that we had before... laying together naked for just no reason.... kissing not just a peck but really kissing.... I dont know how to tell you this. I just feel sad.

Confession #780

Dear Husband,

Sometimes I'm so lonely that I can't breathe. I've told you what I need from you flat out, and it still doesn't happen. But I hang around, hoping things will change, because I love you. I feel like we're roommates who occasionally have sex. And sometimes I think that life is too short to spend it that way. But I keep hoping that the man I fell in love with will surface and that I'll be excited to be with you again. Contrary to what this letter implies, I do love you. I just miss you.

PSSST....

I recently got an email accusing me of writing the whole TWC. While I do write some of my own confessions ( and some of you have pickedthem out quite well), I really do cut and paste 99.9%...


I know you will all stay Anon, but could you just testify that these are your confessions????

Smooches,
Dawn

True Wife Confessions 77 Talking Heads

Confession #761

I truly forget how much I love you until I pick a fight with you and you sit down with me and have that earnest look on your face, and you talk to me until we are right again. You are one of the best people I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you. I love you more than anything, and I thought I should say that publicly.

Confession #762

I am not an angry wife, but rather a daughter speaking up for an angry wife/mother. My mother is the strongest person I know! She puts up with my dad’s shit, day after day. Everyone around us sees it, but they just don’t understand why we stay. Everyday he cuts her down emotional. We both know about all the times his cheated on her, yes that’s plural, but yet he still lives with us. She just doesn’t want to leave him alone. She doesn’t want to be the last person to see the good in him. She doesn’t want him to be left without love; she is just that amazing.

We deal with him when he is drunk and passed out on the couch, or when he has had too many shots and is breaking things and trying to beat up neighbors and family. Or when he is cussing us out because we forgot to turn the air conditioning on.

Alcohol is his weakness, and everyday he falls to the glass bottle. He has mentally and physically tried to break everyone around him down. His whole family is mad at him. He doesn’t have any true friends. All he has is my mom and I, and he knows that one day he won’t even have us. But I tell him what if that one day is today? And he just smiles and has then so be it; he won’t change for his family and he won’t change for himself…

She tells me one day we will leave, but the past few months have been so hard on her… and I just can’t stand watching him treat her like dirt anymore. One day we will leave, then, hopefully, he’ll realize what he lost and how many chances we gave him to go to rehab.

Written by a concerned 15 year old daughter


Confession #763

I know I'm hormonal and crabby. I know you don't like being around me when I'm like this. Hell, *I* don't like being around me when I'm like this! But, if you'd just put your arms around me, hold me at night, play with my hair or neck, kiss me without my having to beg, it'd go a long way to cheering me up. The more I have to coax for affection, the bitchier I am.

And after a fight, when I've apologized, please touch me. Or speak to me. Don't sit there, tense and silent, for an hour and then pretend nothing happened. I know I pissed you off. I know I yelled for little or no reason. I know I'm being unreasonable and tempermental. And I'm sorry for it. And I love you. Can we make up (or out) a little now?


Confession #764

To my Ex-Husband:

Oh, and one more thing. Before we were married, I cheated on you - with a woman. And she did things to me that you never would. Or could.

Confession #765

It tears me up inside to hear you get so down on yourself about your weight. I love you so much, and I married you for YOU, not for your waist size. I see how hard you work out every day, and it shows in the breadth of your shoulders and the definition in your biceps, which turns me on more than I can say.

I wish I could talk to you about your body issues, wish that you didn't shut down and start badmouthing yourself. I don't care about the extra pounds. I want you to be happy, and want you to stop thinking about your body flaws when we have sex. I've tried to do all I can to reassure you, and to SHOW you how much you turn me on. But sometimes I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. In the past few months I've been the only one to initiate sex, and I'm starting to feel like you don't desire me. I love you, baby, but I feel so lonely without your touch.

Confession #766

I love you very much. But you're lousy in bed. I'm glad we haven't had sex this year because at least I haven't had to wake up with you on top of me. It interrupts my sleep and gives me nothing, I mean nothing, back. Except the knowledge that I'm pleasing you, but you don't even come any more, so I'm not pleasing you that much.

I know you don't like the things I like in bed. I am really sorry that I am turned on by things that don't excite you in the slightest. At least I don't even get horny any more. It's a relief, actually.

I just wonder if I"m going to spend the next half century without sex. My life expectancy is something like 92, so ... wow. That's a long time without sex.

Good thing I'm not horny.

Confession #767

I am really , really tired of you doing what ever you want; whenever you want to do it!! When I have plans…. I need to inform you days in advance… Then I get to hear you bitch about it!!! All I get when you have plans is a phone call 5 min. before you leave!!! Also…. You're right you never take me anywhere!!! YES I said it!!! You selfish scab!!

Confession #768

Before I left you, I documented your extensive porn collection - all the videos, the computer games, the magazines, the books, and the internet photos. If you bring try to bring up the matter of an annulment again, I plan to bring my photo documentation to the hearing. You pride yourself on maintaining your upstanding, proper appearance before your family and friends - I'd just love to see what they think of the real you.

Confession #769

You are really great. You were supportive and encouraging when I was in school to get my RN. You held my hand and encouraged me when I was studying for boards. You reassured me while I was waiting for the results. You celebrated with me when I passed. You actively participated in our wedding planning, and I'll adore you forever for wearing tights just because I wanted a renaissance wedding. You looked awesome in them, too. You made all my dreams come true. When we went through the hell of infertility treatments you were always there, even though you were hurting too. When we finally did get pregnant, you were even better. We both made some decisions about the experience that we regretted, but we learned from them together. When our baby was born, you were there with me. We both got pushed around by the doctor and the hospital routines, and while I wish someone would have saved me, I know we didn't know enough then, but we do now. You were awesome, just awesome to take so much time off work to be home and help me while I was recovering. Yeah, you slept pretty soundly, but once you were awake, you always brought the baby to me. Every time I needed something you were there. Yeah, we didn't eat gourmet food that first month, but nobody starved or died of thirst. You may not have cleaned like I wished, but we always had clean clothes and clean diapers. You always supported me with breastfeeding, and never once did I hear "Oh, just give him formula!" like a lot of new dads say. Even when it was really, really hard, you and I were on the same side. You took me to my meetings and really supported me even when I know you didn't understand why it was so important. Best of all, every crackpot weird idea I had about parenting in the early days, you were willing to at least give it a shot and see how it worked out. When I had to go back to work, you took amazing, awesome care of our son. I was miserable, and I missed him so much, but never once did I have to worry about whether he was getting good care or not. You were more patient with him than I was, and I'll love you for that forever. When we realized that it wasn't working out for any of us, you were creative and found a way to let me stay home with him. I was amazingly grateful for that then. Now that we're having trouble again getting pregnant, I'm even more grateful, because this might be my only chance to be here for these baby years, and because of you, I get to do it. I know that neither of us expected the way our lives would change after we had a baby, and we both miss the way things used to be sometimes, but I never get any grief from you because of it. I know you'd like sex more, but you accomodate the changes that we've had to make with humor and grace. Thank you. Even though you do a few things that get on my very last nerve (yeah, I've got some other confessions on here, I admit it) I know that I'm the luckiest woman alive. I hope you read this one, and know it's for you.



Confession #770

Contrary to what you believed, I did NOT hate sex - I just hated having sex with YOU. You spent all your free time downloading porn, then expected me to behave like those vacuous, airbrushed women you spent so much time with. Well, guess what, you prick? Real women expect to be treated with some consideration, not as just a body for you to enact your fantasies on. You expected me to go down on you EVERY SINGLE TIME, but you didn't want to do the same to me. I tried to teach you how to pleasure me, but you had no interest in that. You are the most selfish lover I have ever had. I gave myself more orgasms in the shower than you ever did during our entire 11-year marriage.

Oh, and by the way...I am now with a man who is the polar opposite of you in bed. To him, foreplay is more than rolling over and tweaking my nipples, expecting that to get me in the mood. And unlike you, he makes sure I come every time.

True Wife Confessions 76 Trombones

Confession #751

I love you and I am proud of you for being my hero and going to dangerous far off places to serve our country. But today I happened upon a note from an old high school sweetheart and for a few minutes I honestly wished I had married him so that I wouldn't have to be alone for months on end with 3 insane children and nobody to hold me at night.

Confession #752

how do i say thank you to a man who has given me the world? You took in my 3 kids and treat them as they were your own. They told me the other day how lucky they were to have two Daddies. You treat our son no different than them. Your parents don't have to send them money for their birthdays but they still do. They and you have never called them Step children.
THANK YOU for that. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. YOU GAVE ME HOPE THAT TRUE LOVE DOES HAPPEN. THANK YOU FOR COMPLEMENTING ME TO YOU ALL YOUR FRIENDS. YOU are my one and only love. I'm sorry for not being the wife that has dinner not cooked when you get home. I'm sorry for not the house picked all the way up. I'm sorry I'm so scattered brained at times.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I will see you again soon after your tour in Iraq is done. I promise you this i will try harder to have dinner made when you get home. But you never complain when its not done. I will have the house clean. Even though you don't complain when its not done.
When I said our vows I promise it was all true. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT I AM AND MORE.


Confession #753

there are no words for how stupid your behavior has become. tonight you drank yourself silly, danced around the house listening to records, for hours on end; the loud music was irritating, but your obnoxious singing was over the top.

then when dinner was ready, you ended up not eating--why, because you were sick to your stomach... why you lifted the lid to my washing machine I do not know, but when I said "not in there, get to the bathroom" and you told me you’d puke in the washer if you wanted to puke in the washer--that was too much even for you. if only I could video tape you when you act this way, you wouldn't recognise yourself, just like I don't see the warm, caring,loving, passionate, brillant man I married, but a drunk raving idiot that spends his nights masterbating and spend money we don't have.

as I am typing, this you run into the kitchen and puke in the sink...

I am sad, disgusted, heartbroken and tired of this situation. I should not have to put up with it--EVER, even you say that when you're not drunk. You need help and I don't know how to help you get it. I have tried talking to you about it; when sober you say you know there's a problem and that you don't want to drink, or act the way you do. You don't remember how you treat me or the hurtful things you say on a nightly basis.

I wish I knew what to do...


Confession #754

i hate you for what you are doing to our kids...they deserve a better dad than you. you have it in you to do better, you just won't cause you're too damn selfish. I'm glad I don't have to put up with your shit anymore but my heart breaks for my daughters who will have you as their father for the rest of their life. do us a favor, disappear for good.....and if i ever get the chance, i'm swirling your toothbrush in poo : )

Confession #755

Put your fucking dishes in the dishwasher. Do not leave them on the counter. Do not leave them in the sink. Do stop to rinse them off. Stop acting like you don't notice because if you didn't, you wouldn't get all pissy and self-righteous when I remind you for the 40th time to clean up after yourself. If we did have a fucking kitchen fairy, I'd make sure she peed in your coffee for the simple fact that you assume I want to clean up after you.

I love you. You are great about a lot of other things. Work on this one. And leaving your clothes all over the freaking house, work on that too.


Confession #756

Do you really think that I enjoy kissing you or having you love up on me while you have a giant nasty wad of chewing tobacco in your mouth? It makes me sick on my stomach to even think about it. Nice example to set for the kids, too, by the way. And I cannot even believe that you tell people you aren't addicted. Please.

Confession #757

You hurt me when your grandmother died and you and your family told me that I couldn't go to the funeral. I know you were in shock and didn't know what to say to me. But, to have your family tell me that it's "family only"?!? Two kids and ten years don't make me "family"?? That just sealed the deal for them.
I hope to have many "family only" events and not invite them. Like the baptism next month. Let's see how they feel about staying home that day.

Confession #758

I'm not really physically attracted to you.

But I am not stupid enough to think that I will ever meet anyone who makes me as happy, secure, loved, and at home as you do. After all these years together, we have our private jokes and ways we know each other that are only our own. You understand me like no one else does, and you make me like the person I am. You are so smart, funny, and caring, and I can't wait for you to be the father of our children. I feel exactly the same way today as I did the day you first kissed me: so lucky.

You put Brad Pitt to shame.

Confession #759

When I ask you to change some behavior or way you act, and you get all upset and wide-eyed and incredulously say 'But honey, I do everything to try to make you happy...' No, you don't. Cause if you did, you would very simply ask me, 'hey, name one thing that I could do on a regular basis to make your life easier and happier.' But assuming that you can read my mind and getting indignant because I'm not appreciative is just a pain.in.my.ass.

Confession #760

I confess that I hate your son. He's a greedy, arrogant, sullen little shit and you know it and let him get away with murder. And now, you're bringing him into our home and you expect me to be happy about this intrusion. You are also letting him totally wreck
our plans for a vacation, a vacation I've waited so damned patiently for. Fine, bring him here, and I'll take that vacation alone or maybe I'll invite a "friend" to go along. I'm sick
and tired of hearing you say I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, yet you treat me like shit. I won't leave you ... not yet anyway, but one day when you least expect it, you'll come home and I'll be gone, and you'll never have it this good again. Maybe that son of yours, the one you keep on the pedastal can keep you company and kiss your ass, cause I won't be here.

True Wife Confessions 75 Cadillac

Confession #741

Part of the reason our sex life is so infrequent is because I get really tense whenever you start asking me to do things to you. It's not that I don't want you to receive pleasure without the work, it's not that I don't like you and am not attracted you. I think you are the sexiest guy on the planet. But it almost always seems to end in a request for a blow job. And I feel terrible, but I can't do it. It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I hate it, I physically can't do it, and you don't seem to get that. I can play around for a bit, but after that, I physically can't. So any time we start getting busy, I'm afraid you are going to start pushing in that direction again, and I'd rather not go there again, because it makes me feel wretched and selfish, since you are always so considerate of what I like in bed.

Confession #742

Why do you have to be such a big dick on the phone to me when I call you at work (which has been about 4 times in 3 years). You act like WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT and make me feel like shit for calling. Thank God I’ve never had to call you and tell you that someone died or I was in a car accident although part of me would love to give you the smack down if something big ever happened and you cut me off on the phone.

Other people talk to their spouses at work…..and get this..some of them do it daily! My ex-husband was happy to hear from me at work on a daily basis. What the fuck is your problem? When I’ve pointed it out to you (nicely) you think I’m making it up about people talking to their spouse at work. Get a grip.


Confession #743

This is a confession from one wife to another.

Remember when we joined you and your husband at the lake and you asked if I brought my swimsuit and I said yes? Remember what you said then? "Good! Maybe my husband will understand my body's not so bad after seeing yours!" How could you not realize how hurtful and insensitive that comment was? Especially knowing how I struggle with my weight?

And then later when you said you hoped that people at the lake (total strangers) would realize you were pregnant and not just fat. "That's why I hate being pregnant! People think you're fat and not just pregnant." Not only did that make you sound like the idiot that you are, but it was also another memorable and insensitive comment. You KNOW how we are going through another round of IVF and would give anything to be "fat" from a pregnancy.

I also hate how after I told you of yet another negative pregnancy result that you constantly rubbed your belly and sighed and complained about how uncomfortable you were and how you just cannot stand getting pregnant all the time. Have you heard of birth control? OH, right. Your husband thinks married people shouldn't use birth control. Maybe learning how to track your cycles and avoid having sex when you're about to ovulate? It's fairly easy to do for people who actually have a brain. Have you also heard of being aware of the feelings of the people around you?? Especially your friends???

This is why I don't want to be around you any longer. This is why I turn down your social invitations. This is why when I see you at parties, I stay the hell away from you. I'd tell this to your face, but you'd find a way to turn it around and make me look like the fool. I don't need that. Some people will never get it and just aren't worth the time or effort. I'm glad I learned that before I invested more time and more feelings into this doomed friendship. Have a nice life raising your 12 billion children on such a limited income. Maybe that's why you're so bitter. You'd have more money to pay bills if you stopped spitting out kids every year. And YES, you are fat, TOO!! There's a lot worse things in life than being fat. Like being a clueless, insensitive bitch. I'm so glad that with this confession, you are finally out of my life forever!

Confession #744

Faithfulness is not my strong suit. I believe in being faithful on principle. In practice I suck at it, I hope you never find out

Confession #745

You adore your father because he supposedly raised you well but you lack a heart. He does not listen to your good suggestions about how to take care of himself. And that reminds me of every man in my life, including YOU. He does not sleep enough to get through the day let alone drive! You do not get enough sleep for work. When he criticizes our relationship it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. He says we look miserable? So do he and his wife. Back when we were ridiculously happy he thought it was be funny to pretend we weren't. W.T.F. He purposely caused trouble and it broke my fucking heart. Especially because you did not reassure me about ANY OF IT. And I see a little more of him in you today. You. Are. A. Stubborn. Ass.

Confession #746

You are an amazing lover: you’re so attentive to my pleasure, you take pleasure in what I do, and you never fail to make me feel sexy. You’re fine with my adventurous past. You suggest adventures for us to take together, but you never pressure me to do something if I’m uncomfortable with it. You’re willing to try new things that I suggest.

I have only one secret from you: Sometimes when we make love I fantasize about fat gay guys. I don’t know why. There’s just something great about two guys eating enormous amounts of food together and getting it on.

I don’t even know why I haven’t told you. You’ve been fine with all my other kinks. I’ve told you my fantasies about vampires and bondage and other women and the woman who helped paint our house. I’ve told you I want to put eyeliner on you or dress you in a gladiator’s armour. Why would it bother you to know your wife sometimes imagines guys eating a lot of pizza and making out?

It wouldn’t bother me at all if you gained weight, either. I did tell you that, but it probably sounded as if I was just being a good wife and telling you I loved you for your inner self. Which is also entirely true. But honey, I look at your big-bellied family and I think it will probably happen to you eventually too, and I’m actually kind of glad.

Confession #747

I have the opportunity to cheat on you but I am scared that I will not know how I feel when it is all said and done. I really like this person. He is an ex boyfriend from High School that loved me so much and I walked all over him...how he can be so forgiving to me is really amazing when you can't forgive me for the simplest things. He knows about you and our family and the thought of being with me over powers his feeling of guilt. I talk to him on the phone every day and I even e-mail him while you are sitting on the sofa playing XBOX. He makes me feel alive and he makes me feel like I am beautiful and worth something in this world. I am going to see him Saturday night after I go out with the girls and after I have a few drinks in me...I don't know what is going to happen. All I know is that we will be even...but I will never tell you and you will never find out.

I need to do this so I can know for sure that you are the man that I am meant to be with and if I can forgive you for cheating on me so dirty six months ago.

I think that you know that I am going to do this and you know that you can not say anything to me about it. Especially since I told you that one day I will and you said that you would not cry for me...cause those days are over for you. You F'N JERK!

If you ever find out....I will just have to see if you cry!

I want you so bad to stop me from doing this. I really do...I know that you never will. And it would be the simplest thing to do. All you would have to do is show me some affection on a daily basis and make love to me with out me having to ask you for it. That is all it would take...but you are too lazy and too involved in XBOX and fantasy football to realize that after Saturday night...I might be gone forever and you would have noone to blame but yourself.

Confession #748

Honey, I'm pregnant. I know it's not in the current plan. I know we don't have the money. I know it's not what we wanted right now. I haven't told you yet because I know you are going to freak out. I am freaking out right now.

I didn't try to "oops" get pregnant either. Just so you know. I have been taking my pills EVERY day. At the same time. Without fail. And since we only had sex three times in the past month, I can't even imagine how the odds didn't work in our favor.

I'm sorry. I know this is not what we wanted right now. Please just don't have a fit when I tell you. I'm as scared about this as you are.

Confession #749

I am totally in love with you, I haven't told you yet, because I dont want to jinx it. Even though we have been toghether for 7 months... You are seriously the best thing that could have happened to me and my kids. I think that some day I will be married to you... I am so glad my ex cheated on me, and left me for his dumb bimbo. I would have never met you if he didn't hurt me and the boys that way and I am pretty sure we would have had a miserable life that way. But I am so thankful that he did. You would do anything for us, anything, and it means the world to me and the kids. It really is nice to know that there are really guys out there that would love to be a father to somone else's children like they were your own.

Confession #750

I think that you are who you are because your mom is such a strong woman. Because you love her you admire my strengths and love me.

I am so glad that you are in this for the long haul,you work through the stupid fights, the petty differences, I love that you have never walked out.

Marriage is so much harder than I thought it would be, sometimes I am not sure if I want to do it, but you are the reason I keep coming back.

Parenthood is so much harder than we thought it would be, I am glad you help me do the best I can.

You know how to please me, and maybe I taught you much of it, but it is sweet that you remember, it makes me want to please you .


I wish I could tell how I feel about you, but it always sounds corny when I try to put it in words

True Wife Confessions 74 Gun Man o'war ala Billy Budd (my English Major Geek roots are showing)

Confession #731


Tonight you decided to dick out on me because I complained about going two
miles out of my way on my way home from work to get you a burrito from a
specific restaurant. No asking whether I felt like having a burrito for
dinner also; not even any consideration of my counter suggestion of my
picking you up a nearly identical burrito from a different restaurant that
was more on my way. Oh no, it had to be that burrito from that restaurant.
You didn’t even consider the fact that I have homework to do as well
tonight!

When I let out the mildest of quips about it being out of my way, you threw
one of your 14 year-old temper tantrums and told me to "just forget about
it"; the more I offered to go get the fucking burrito anyway, the more of a
bastard you became. I’m considering buying one on the way home anyway, if
no other reason than to tell you to stick it up your self-righteous ass. Or
maybe smash it into one of those Statistics books that I am obviously not
enlightened enough to understand...anything to take the edge off of the
bullshit silent treatment punishment that awaits my arrival.

Confession #732

I know you didn't brush your teeth yesterday. Or the day before. Because after we got back from the trip, you left your toothbrush in my bag. And mine wasn't used before I got up. However, since this is the first time you've ever done anything like that, I won't say anything, cause I know it'll embarrass you.

Confession #733

I hate your mother! She is a low life!



When “B” was only seven years old and she called you mom to wish her a Happy Birthday on the way to school and was singing silly songs to her. When she accidentally used the word “Whore” instead of “Hog” and your mother screamed at me about it. Well let me tell you I was probably in more shock then your “precious mother” about the situation. I can guarantee that “B” never heard the word “whore” from me. Maybe your mother should have thought about how she was talking in front of “B” everything she yelled at your father for cheating on her with the Whores!

But more then that maybe you should have thought about the language your parents used in front of her when you were letting them raise her for so long before I came into the picture.

Idiot!

Confession #734

I wish you would step up every now and then and be 'the man'. I know, it's ridiculous. I'm a strong, independent, capable woman who doesn't believe in predefined gender roles. But I get tired of being the adult all the time. Pay some bills without me nagging you! I don't want to call and yell at the cable company for not showing up on time -- I want you to do that. I don't want to learn how to fix the shower, you should do that! I don't want to be the person responsible for car maintenance, you are the man! I don't want to be the one with the greater earning potential. It's totally ludicrous, because the car is mine, most of the bills are in my name and I've been paying them myself for ages longer than you, you are generally a pretty good handy man, and I have higher degrees (and thus more earning potential) than you do. But there are days I have to bite my tongue from saying, "YOU are the man, you take care of this."

I guess the flip side is that I need to be more grateful for all the work you do around the house and what a great cook you've become, and how willing you are to paint my toenails for me without caring if your friends know that you do that. Also, a more traditional man would probably be upset about me keeping my name, about my love of our basketball team and my loathing of doing laundry, and would probably not be anywhere near as loving, attentive and wonderful as you.

Confession #735

Thank you for taking care of our sick child on my first day of school. Thank you for doing the vomit laundry. Thank you for picking me up from school. Thank you for having dinner ready, and the sheets on the bed changed. They were even flannel, and you know how I love flannel sheets in the fall. Thank you for telling me to not worry about the tuition bill. Thank you for standing behind me, supporting me, and feeding me when I get home. Those are the reasons I stay married to you.

Confession #736

I have never been so angry as I was when you told me you thought we should not have bought the house. I was upset, miserable, unhappy, and I know you were too, but you were the one who pushed me when I wasn't sure. You convinced me, and for you to say it was a bad idea pissed me the hell off. Too late for objections now, buddy. Just learn plumbing find a way to fix the damn shower.

Confession #737

My confession: When I cracked the joke about masturbating, and you looked so surprised and exclaimed that I never masturbate? Yeah, I do. Almost everyday. I love you, you are masterful in bed, our sex is amazing (though we are both unhappy with frequency, and working on it), but honey, sometimes I can just get it done faster. And then I don't have reciprocate.

Confession #738

I'm sorry you became sick. More sorry than you will ever know. I'm also
sorry it has damaged your memory and your moods, your physical abilities
and your ability to speak clearly. Really, I am. However, it does not
give you the right to become angry with me and yell at me when I suggest
things to help you. Like suggesting you try to remember to clean yourself
correctly and put deoderant on. You did NOT remember to put it on, do not
tell me you did. It was EXACTLY as I left it so you wouldn't forget it.
And for god's sake use a washcloth to clean your underarms.... you've used
your hands since the day I met you. IT DOES NOT GET YOU CLEAN. You
stink... all I am doing is trying to help you not feel "different" when you
are out. I am sick of the yelling, the drama and the self pity that
accompanies each and ever day..... I am trying to be a good caregiver and
wife and mother, but you are making it more and more difficult. I will
only tolerate it for so long. I'm sorry you don't think your life can be
normal anymore..... but I'm even sorrier you won't at least try. If you
won't try for you or me, how about trying for our son? You are such a dick
sometimes.

Confession #739

You think your porn videos got lost in the move or are still in a box in the
garage. I threw them in the dumpster. I'm scared to tell you I did it.

Confession #740

To my husband, the all-important scholar: Oh, how I loathe your attitude
when you’re in school.

When the semester starts, your asshole factor increases by tenfold. You
become even more self-absorbed and self-righteous than you already are, and
at least five times more of a grandstanding fuckhead than before you went
back to college -- back when you used to bore me to tears with your endless
lectures on indie rock and left wing politics (which at least are subjects
which interest me, or did before you hammered me into the wall with your
diatribes).

You will pontificate ad nauseum on any subject which interests you, and God
help the individual who tries to make any kind of counterpoint when you’re
on one of your rolls. You’ll speak over them in increasing volume until the
"audience member" relegates himself or herself back down to the orchestra
pit where they belong; there’s no room for dialogue in your one-man show.
Too bad not everyone is in love with your half-assed mental masturbation as
much as you are.

Your imperious attitude toward your studies makes me choke on
bile...everything, and I mean EVERYTHING takes a back seat to your
all-important homework. "Silly wife, pester me not with chores and requests
for any attention or assistance...can’t you see that I’M STUDYING?!" Um,
yeah I can asswipe, because that’s exactly what I need to do too – yes, it’s
true; you’re not the only person in the world trying to put themselves
through school and work at the same time! I’m taking just as many classes
as you are, and even if you work ten hours per week more than I do it
doesn’t give you the right to act like a pompous prick.

Oh, and neither does the fact that you’re studying BUSINESS make you any
more intelligent or worthy of credit than my lowly fine-art studying self,
although you rarely take make the effort to conceal your disdain for what I
do. "All that stuff is just BULLSHIT anyway, I hardly see the point in
making it an academic discipline." The fact that this is coming from you --
who spent his 20’s trying (and failing) to "make it" as an indie rock
musician -- speaks volumes to anyone who isn’t as monumentally clueless as
you are. You sound like a newly converted whore.


Your mother could have done a lot better than to treat you and your
stuffed-shirt sanctimonious brothers like little princes when you were kids.
And you wonder why I’ve changed my mind about procreating.

And now, a word from our sponsor...

Hi all.

Just a few "housekeeping" notes from the Mother Un-Superior (that's me).

After much consideration, I put TWC forward for inclusion on the BlogHer Ad network. I was hesitant for awhile to run ads on the site...but many of my Bloggy friends talked with me at BlogHer and convinced me that it would be a good thing. So I did. And it was accepted. Within the next week or so, the ads will appear in the top right hand column. The beauty of BlogHer (aside from the fact that I think Lisa Stone may be a goddess) is that you don't have to click through for me to get credit. I get every hit counted.

So, if you hate ads, and are wholly offended, then I sincerely apologize in advance. But - and here is the crux of it - I need money. I am in Canada and am not allowed to work as I am on a student visa. So think of it this way - all of you who visit? You'll be keeping me in coffee for the month. Or a martini. Every time you visit, it is like putting a nickel into Dawn's coffee or liqour tin. And god knows, we don't want me to run low on either of those things...or anti-depressants.

Also, the publishing schedule may change a smidge. I am in classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. The Monday - not so bad - 5:30 to 8:30. But Wednesday? 9-12 and then again 5:30-8:30. I have to be on the 7:45 train into Montreal to make the class. Sooooo Wednesday might be delayed...or nonexistant.

I have the 79th chapter almost done right now. I was doing one a day when the confessions were coming in so fast I could barely keep up with them. They've slowed a bit now, so depending on the flow, they might only get published every other day or so. We'll see. Keep 'em coming.

Now I must go read two chapters on Research Methodlogy and a chapter of Curriculum ideology. Contain your excitement, I'll sure try to contain mine....

True Wife Confession 73 Fender Rhodes

Confession #721

Thank you so much for being so supportive when I ran out of the bathroom hysterical because we're pregnant again.

Thank you so much for being an amazing father to our son.

Thank you so much for being such an amazing husband to me.

Thank you for supporting me and our family through all the good and the bad.

But most of all thank you so much for helping me go from terrified to excited in such a small amount of time. We never intended to have a 2nd baby and without your support I have no doubt I'd be a puddle of horror. Now, instead, I can plan for this fabulous new addition. I can't imagine anything better than having yet another baby with you. I am so thankful for you.

Confession #722

It's not cute when you ask me for "just a little bite" of something I'm eating and then take a bite equal to the whole damn thing. Nor is it cute when we get fast food and you decline fries and then proceed to eat half of mine. GET YOUR OWN, DAMMIT.

I love you, baby. But I love my food, too.

Confession #723

people tell me that they couldn't have stayed. i did. but it's not fair that i stayed, just wanting to leave. i wish that i had been stronger. i wish that i had stayed and loved you still.

our new puppy taught me how to love again. i'm thankful that she did. i missed loving you. and i missed out on so much when i could have been loving you better. i hope that one day i can forgive myself for that - i think that you already have.

Confession #724

If you're going to work outside bring yourself a drink. Don't bug me 10 minutes into whatever it is you're doing asking me for something to drink. If you're working outside then I'm watching our 2 kids and I have my hands full already. I bugs me to no end that you wait until your dusty and dirty to decide you're thirsty. It also bugs me that I'm supposed to act like you're doing me a favour asking ME to get you a drink instead of you walking into the house all dirty and dusty to get it yourself. Think ahead next time will ya!!!

Confession #725

We are divorced now, but I want to confess something....
Remember that time we were "on a break" while you went back to your 1st wife? When we got back together 6 weeks later, I told you I had sex with only 1 other man. Really it was 5 guys, and 1 girl. I didn't want to tell you because it was just something else you could falsley hold over my head. Now, 2 kids & divorced, I have found my true love -- and he knows ALL my secrets.


Confession #726

When you call me to ask me what I want you to bring home for dinner, and then offer to also stop at the store for formula because you know I have a migraine and am suffering? I love you more than I can say.

When you get up at 4 AM to change our almost 10 year old's diaper, without complaint, and then go work a hard job for 12 hours? I love you more than I can say.

When you call me in the middle of the day just to tell me that you're thinking about me, and that you love me ~ my heart melts.

I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but I'm so thankful that you chose me.

I am the luckiest of all lucky girls in the world. I love you, babe. More than I can say. Let's grow old(er) together, okay?

Confession #727

When I tell you I am stressed out to the point of tears, that is NOT the time to delve in to every little detail about our lives. I do not need to be reminded that money is tight and the kids don't pick up after themselves or even that the hot water tank is on its last leg! What I need is for you to put your arms around me and tell me that everything will be okay...everything will work out fine. Comfort me, hug me, love me. Don't try to fix the problem! It just makes me more tense, and we usually end up arguing. If you would figure this out, life would be a whole lot easier at times.



Confession #728

you. are. a. dork. Sorry, but its true

Confession #729

You prick! I'm good enough to clean you house, do your laundry, take care of your kids (incl the one who hates me and causes me such stress) but I'm not worthy of you giving me money UNLESS I BEG FOR IT ... even when your own mother tells you you need to loosen up the wallet. Well mister tight with a dollar, maybe the next time you want a fucking blow job I should tell you what it's gonna cost you: $50 a bj ought to be reasonable considering all I do for you with it. You refuse to let me get a job so you keep me prisoner in this guilded cage I've come to hate. Fuck you. I'll get what I need and want one way or another. Just watch me.

Confession #730

I'm going to start by saying you are an amazing man. I love you more then life itself & I know you are also an amazing father. When you interact with our child its beautiful.

The problem lies in the fact that you just don't seem to get that parenting is not on an "Ok, today works for me" basis. I work 40+ hours a week & so do you. On my days off I watch our child & do everything else, that needs to get done as well. The baby is with the babysitter for 40 hours a week while we work. I for one have had many guilt battles in my head because I can't stop working. I need the medical insurance, but I hate leaving her with someone else for so many hours. This means when you get done work before me, you go get her & you parent her. NO, you don't *babysit* her, that's what you do to someone else's kids.

I don't want to find out that you dropped her off to go fishing, & I don't want you mad at me when I say I don't need to bring her to the sitters because you had the day off. Yes, just like when I have a day off theres no question she's staying home with *Me*.

Yes, I know your truck is broken & needs to be fixed. You had a 4 day weekend, but now tonight after work when she's been with the sitter for 8+ hours you decide you need to fix it. I don't think so. You can walk off in a huff & be angry at me if you want, but take your days off to the productive things. Its not like you didn't have *4* of them!

Furthermore, for those few times that I would have someone watch her while I wasn't working, I'd really like them to be when we can spend some time together. Really, you can go out & do your own things on my day's off & I know that you will let me go get my sanity back at times as well. I knew my father as the guy that came home at 9pm for dinner. I didn't even have a personal relasionship with him until I was 18 or older & I still wouldn't if I didn't put in the effort to do so. I don't want our child to lack what I did. I want her to run you exclaiming "Daddy, Daddy...Guess what I did today?!"

True Wife Confessions 72 - the average # of heartbeats in a resting adult

Confession #711

I have not liked you for some time now, and I have never loved you. But I never thought I would hate you.

Last month when my grandfather died (you know that old man that practically raised me?) you were such an insensitive jerk that I wanted to hurt you as much as you were hurting me. When I found out that he died, all you said was "that's too bad" and went back to your video game. When I was on the phone trying to get a plane ticket home, you asked me where dinner was. When I asked if you would go with me you said "I have no reason to, besides I could not go on my trip to Australia next week if I went with you". When I got there, you called the day of the funeral because the air conditioning had gone out and you wanted me to get it fixed (from 1100 miles away). All I wanted to do was break down and cry, but I couldn't because there was too much to do with the trip back and planning the funeral. And the person that should have been giving me support was not there and was adding to my burdens. Do you know where I got the support that I needed? Not from you, I got it from my friend (you know that guy that you don't want me talking to because you think that I am having an affair with him?). He took the day off of work to go to the funeral with me so that I did not have to be alone. Well, FYI, I am not and never have been "in love" with him but you bet your sorry ass that I love him. Which is something that you have never been able to tell the difference between. See, love can be completely platonic, it does not have to involve sex. Sometimes the people who actually love and support you most are not you lovers. I wish he and I could love each other that way, but we can't and perhaps it is for the best.

Maybe if you understood what love really is, you would not be such a jerk and I would not want to poison your potatoes when I make dinner every night.


Confession #712

Remember when you told me that I was worthless, and no man would ever want me because I had a child? I smile every time our daughter calls my husband “daddy”, the man who’s been raising her for the past ten years, and she then calls YOU by your first name. Your DNA didn’t give her love, put food on the table, or clothes on her back. HE did. Remember when you said I was fat and ugly, even when I was so thin (from trying to please you) that my family became worried about my health? Isn’t it a wonder that I still have a healthy shape and receive compliments about my looks from men, while YOU married the fat whore you cheated on me with? Too bad she’s added at least 80 pounds more to her already huge frame since you two sloths wed. Remember when you told me I was stupid and would never accomplish anything? I delight in the fact that I am now a successful college graduate who makes three times as much money as you do, while you attempt to conceal the fact that you’re a high school dropout living with your in-laws because you can’t even keep a steady job. You tried to break my spirit so I’d stay chained to you for life, but all you did was point me straight to the wonderful man who really deserves me. I hope you kick yourself every day for treating me like shit and losing the best thing you ever had. It sucks to see me and your daughter happy, doesn’t it? Loser.

Confession #713

To my husband:

I know you don't love me like I love you. It's not your fault, you're older than me and you already had your one true love and for whatever reason, you let her go. I know you settled with me because I was there at the right time and now you're regretting it (even if you don't realise it yet).

I'm quite happy to wait until you grow to love me. I just wish you would hurry. I need a husband, not a housemate.

Your loving wife.

Confession #714

I love you so much, but sometimes you don't realize just how much your silence hurts me. I went on a four day trip that you fully supported. However, when I tried to check in with you by calling your cel phone, you were always too busy to talk to me. You always said you would "call me later." You never seemed to find time to get back to me. I know we have three kids that you were in charge of in my absence, but two of them are teenagers. I think they would have had plenty of time to help out if you simply would have asked them. Whatever it was that you were too busy doing...it certainly wasn't cleaning the house. The house looks like a cyclone hit it.

Now that I'm back home, it seems like you missed me. But at the time, while I was away, it was almost like I was "out of sight and out of mind." I hope if I ever travel apart from the family again, you can at least find a few minutes to chat with me while I'm away. That really hurt my feelings.



Confession #715

It's time for you to be a fucking man and support your family. I've been doing it for the past ten years, so I am well aware of the pressure and stress. Now that I am not working, you mope and sulk around the house sighing at everything. When I tell you how much things really cost, you flip out and say "You NEVER told me! You always just took care of it!"

Well. No, shit. I know. Welcome to the big boy world.

Confession #716

I don't love you....never have and never will. I tolerate you. I will divorce you.

Confession #717

Please stop telling me how paranoid I am when it comes to our children. I am their mother and stepmother and I will always try to protect them. Just because you don't think something is dirty and it's ok for our 7 month old to put it in her mouth, does not mean that is true. Where do you think her 2 stomach viruses have come from, virus faries???? I do not need you to tell me I am paranoid. I realize that enough on my own, but, you know what, I am a mother and that is just part of the bargain. Tell me I'm doing things right and that our children will grow up to be wonderful, productive and happy people. Stop pointing out the things you think I am doing wrong. Please.

Confession #718

I think it's weird that you don't like porn. I also think it's weird that you don't like blow jobs. What man doesn't like BJ's?
It's not me either. Because I'm good. I know. My ex told me so every time.
You're weird.

Confession #719

Shit. it's like I'am not here you are a asshole. Fuck you I got LAY-OFF
\but so what you are my HUSBAND. I COOK CLEAN take care of 3 kid
(give it to you lke you want it). your nice to the world but not to your WIFE. What"s that about how can you help someone else and not me ok I smoke and you don"t I need gas for the car and you say O I dont have any cash that"s bullshit right now in I"am school I help with everything in this house all bill I do. I see life with but all I can tell the children is
I tried to work it out with your dad. Fool I'am not one of your kids
you do not have to give me shit because when I get a JOB you will wish you had give me money how can you have money problems
and you broke you work 12 HOURS a day I love but hate you

Confession #720

I am jealous of my friend who is divorced. I wish I had the nerve to move out on my own with our daughter. I don't hate you but I don't love you either. I probably never did, I was just too young, stupid and desperate to realize it. The sad part is that a lot of women would be happy being married to you, but I'm not.

True Wife Confessions 71 minutes of Faust

Confession #701

I don't really believe in reincarnation, but there are times when I
think I must have done something very virtuous in a previous life, to
be rewarded with you in this one. I wake up every morning glad that
I'm married to you, and get excited every evening when you walk
through the door. Even though we've been together for years, you
still make me as giddy as a first crush. You're an amazing husband,
father, and friend, and I can't believe my good luck. I love you so
much.

Confession #702

Has it never occurred to you in 15 years that I shouldn't NEED lube? If you were doing anything right, I might get wet on my own without external assistance. You are just too damn eager to get off that you put no thought or energy into foreplay. And yes, I have talked to you about this over and over. I get "I'll try to remember next time", or some half hearted nipple twisting.

It isn't me. I can get wet on my own. It only takes me a few minutes...

Your selfishness and anger are driving me away. Fifteen years is too long to hope you'll seek help.

Confession #703

You are not clean. You never wash your hands and that is completely disgusting. Oh, you do wash after pooping but that's it. Your breath reeks. You are a major hypochondriac and it slays me when you get to talking about all the things that are wrong with you. And, for your information, no you can't breathe backwards. Pot will do that to you. And, spraying an inhaler into the air and trying to get some of it into your mouth doesn't do a damn bit of good. Go to the damn doctor instead of whining about stuff, you damn hypochondriac. And, if he gives you meds, fill them and take them. Meds not taken and/or not finished don't do squat.

Our sex life sucks. I think about other things and wish that you'd hurry up. Did I mention that your breath stinks?

Watching tv instead of spending time with your family is so sad. All these kids want is some of your time. No big splashy events for Wonderful Daddy to take them to, just spending time with them. They will grow up and not ever want to be in touch with you and that will be a sad day for you, but deserved.

Touching me only when you want sex is sad. I'd feel so much more in the mood if you'd touch me for something other than you wanting some. You giving me a compliment every once in a while wouldn't hurt either. You telling your Mom how good I look after losing weight doesn't negate the fact that you haven't said word one to ME and that hurts.

Confession #704

I loaned my dad $2000 because he has hit rock bottom with his gambling addiction, and now that he has finally stopped gambling he needs to get back on his feet. I won't ever tell you because I know you would never let me see him again if I did. Even if it was to help him out. I put it on my mastercard, then opened a second credit card and transferred the balance and have the bill sent to my mom's house, so you wouldn't see the bill and ask me questions. No it wasn't a telemarketer calling me that morning either it was the bank making sure I authorized the charge, because it was unusual activity for me. I'm sorry, but I just can't tell you.

Confession #705

Did you think it would hurt my feelings when you said that you planned on divorcing me last night? Did you expect for me to cry? Tell you that I was sorry for "speaking back to you"? Did you expect me to remind you that all of our credit is in my name, the car is in my name, the health insurance is in my name....? Who do you think has the power in this marriage, asshole? Yes. When I am done with school we are getting divorced, I just hope that I don't murder you before that day. That the alimony I will have to end up paying you will be worth every damn cent just to not have to deal with your moody infantile rages and puffed up macho ego. Oh, and go ahead and threaten to take our daughter...you know damn well that I will give her to you and watch you crack and beg me to take her back within a week.

Find another woman who thinks you are everything you say you are. Cause I'm done.

OH! and when I got out of the shower today, I took your toothbrush and swished it in the toilet. Thanks TWC, it felt good.

Confession #706

What is the matter with you? I offer to give you blow jobs and you say no, it's too ticklish? I had boyfriends who told me that religions could be based on my mouth...I have old boyfriends who would LOVE for me to show up on their doorstep and offer BJ's. It amazes me that we ever had a baby. Clearly it was through my own sheer determination.

AND you have one of the most sexually adventurous, liberated wives EVER...but what do you want to do every time? Climb on top and finish. OR let me do all the work on top...or thrust at my ass. When I suggest other positions or toys, you roll your eyes and turn me down.

How did two such sexually incompatible people EVER end up together??

Confession #707

I know you've cheated on me from the start. I know the dates, the names, the places. Going all the way back to that first December. I knew when you came home you'd betrayed me, betrayed us. For a long time I bought your crap about needing to "make friends" ... your way of saying "keep my options open" without losing the cush gig you had with me. Did you know that I was reading your emails and deleting one after the other from bitch after bitch? Remember the waitress you took to dinner while you were living with me? That night I was so ill, and you left me to take another woman out to dinner. Well guess what? She thought you kissed so badly she never wanted to see you again. I used to delete her emails to you so she thought you were a total prick for never writing to her. I laughed so hard over that one.

And your little arrest? I know that you deserved to be arrested, and that your fancy lawyer only got you off on a technicality. You got really lucky. But luck runs out. Next time they get you on tape they're gonna lock your ass up for a long, long time. And no one, not even your dear family is gonna be able to bail your ass out. And I'm gonna laugh about that too.

I knew that despite your words to the contrary, those 50 cell calls were legit too. They were placed from your cell phone while you were in those cities, and yes, it still sickens me that I traced those escorts phone numbers to Eros.com and that not all the hookers were women. It sickens me even more that I allowed you back into our bed knowing that you were trying to hook up with women and men. You must buy condoms by the six-pack.

I know about the escort in London three months before our wedding too. Your lame ass excuse about the money was transparent from the start. Did you really think I was fool enough to buy it? The receipt you poorly hid in your wallet was all the proof I needed. You should've been more careful, but then, when you build a house of cards it eventually has to collapse.

What you don't know my love is that as much as you've been using and playing me ... the tables have now turned. It's my turn. I know what you're up to now too. And I'm just watching, gathering facts, biding my time till I'm ready to pounce. And then love ... your house of cards will go down in flames. It's true I love you, God help me, I may always love you. But I love MYSELF too you asshole. And I deserve soooooo much better than you. Just wait. Your time's almost here.

Confession #708

I hate your Dad and how you act around him. You want Daddy to love you, so you act like a puppy trying to please it's master. It makes it even sadder that your wife and family come in dead last to your work and other interests but when Daddy comes around, he gets higher priorities than we do. The fact that he planned to kill your mother and her boyfriend disturbs me and NO, you don't "get over" something like that. You need serious, intensive counseling, which he hasn't gotten. And, you Mom deserves to know, as does her friend. And, yes, I know that she won't want to be around him but if someone had planned to kill me, I wouldn't want to be around him either. Your Dad is a filthy, disgusting drunk who has the social graces of a piece of concrete. If he died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear. He has never treated me or our kids that well and now that he needs us, he's expecting me to be all best friendy with him and it's not going to happen, never.

Confession #709

I don't regret calling the police after one of your verbal rages one bit. Consider that your very last warning. While you never laid a finger on me, your escalating verbal bullying is unacceptable. And your mother agrees with me.

Confession #710

I stay for financial reasons and that's sad. I'm going to school so I can have more options in the future and not feel so trapped. I don't want to struggle and not be able to pay bills so I stay.

True Wife Confessions 70 - Platinum, Baby.

Confession #691

The way you yell and scream at other drivers when you are driving? I hate it. I've told you how much I hate it. That I hate the swearing and aggression. I feel it slide over into me as I sit in the passenger seat. I hate that you have followed people to scream at them when they have done something you feel to be stupid or insulting. Today when you gave that woman the finger and slowed down to mouth "Fuck you" to her TWICE, and I called you on it and you turned on me and told me to "shut the Fuck up, before you smacked me"...and then repeated it at the top of your lungs? With our daughter in the car?

Your anger issues will either give you a stroke, or get you killed. I only hope that the stroke kills you outright because I don't think I have the energy or desire to nurse you for the rest of your life.

Oh, and I'm not driving with you anymore. If you can't control your anger, at least I can decide to not be in the car with you.

Confession #692

Bitching to me about how now that I've gone back to work, you have no time to relax...While I have dinner cooking on the stove, laundry in the washer and dryer, while our child is clawing at my legs, and I am still in my dressy work clothes-while you sit on your fat ass in the recliner with the remote...Dumb move, asshole. You're doing jack shit around here...I'm back to working 40-50 hours a week AND doing all the household chores. Shut up and fold the fucking socks...you can even do it while you sit on your fat ass...I don't care. JUST DO SOMETHING OTHER THAN TAKE UP SPACE.

Confession #693

You have been on a business trip all week. During that time, our son behaved like a horrible little monster. I am burnt out and need a break. You haven't seen our son all week but you couldn't be bothered to spend time with him because you had a movie you wanted to watch. When I ask you to spend time with our son it doesn't mean, "Que a movie up for him in one room so that you can go watch a movie in another." And it really, REALLY pisses me off that you insist on watching violent movies when he's around. IF he wonders into the room and sees even two seconds of it, he gets nightmares from them. And its not YOU he wants at 4 a.m. when he's scared shitless, its me. I pay the price for your selfishness. I feel like I live with a 15-year-old BOY. And it really angers me. If you keep pissing on the fire, so to speak, don't be surprised if when it goes out.

Confession #694

After we have had a fight, you become the most attentive father on the face of the earth. Too bad you have to be such a miserable asshole to step up and act like your daughter is not a giant burden on your time and energy. No one cares how fucking sick and or tired you are. Oh, and don't act like you've done me some HUGE favor when you spend time with her outside, or take her for a bike ride. What the fuck do you think I do every day of the week?

Confession #695

I truly regret that I was such a bitch to my college sweetheart. Because he was a wonderful, caring man. I was so possessive and had such low self-esteem that I got jealous at the drop of a hat. And he paid the price. And I was also too stupid to know what a gem he truly was. Now he's married with children. I don't mind when you make up some stupid excuse not to come with me to visit my parents. Because when you don't come with, I drive past his house at night hoping that maybe I'll see his face through a window or tinkering around in his garage. I've been doing this for 6 years. Recently, I got a glimpse of him. As the garage door was closing, he was taking milk out of his truck and heading into his house. He has no idea I drive by.

I hear his wife is a total shrew. I hear he's not happy. It breaks my heart because after the hell I put him through, he DESERVES to be happy. But I still hold out hope that maybe someday he and I will wind up together. And I fantasize that you and his wife (since you are both cold, vindictive people who withhold affection and sex to punish) wind up together too. Sounds like you'd be perfect for each other.

Confession #696

Don't be passive aggressive...offering me the remote and then bitching about what I choose to watch-SHUT UP. If you know you'll hate whatever I put on, then don't offer up the remote...I knew what your motive was-you thought you'd be 'nice' so I'd have sex with you later. Didn't work, did it?

Confession #697

You bitch about how we're broke but yet you spend money on stupid shit. Meanwhile, I'm scraping coins out from under the seats of my car so I can buy a can of soda at work. This week, other than gas money, I've spent a total of $5...you've gone through at least $200 on CRAP. STOP. PAY THE BILLS. GROW THE FUCK UP.

Confession #698

When I was planning our wedding, you told me I had to "stop being such a bitch" or else you'd dump me. I found out later I was clinically depressed. I kept wondering if I should break things off with you. I no longer felt love for you. I felt numb. And the first thing my councilor said was, "Don't make any major decisions now. If you are thinking of canceling your wedding or changing careers, don't do it. You'll thank me later." What's sad is that I trusted that man's judgment over mine. A man who didn't know me or you. And I really regret it sometimes.

Confession #699

I love how when you get mad, you think that depriving me of your affection will make me feel remorseful. I could care less. None of our fights last more than a few days because YOU can't handle going that long without sex. You won't apologize, but you'll start being sweet and helping around the house-and this I know is your way of getting back into my good graces so you can have a piece of ass. You think you're playing it smooth, but I've got your number. This is why I rarely have to apologize-because I know eventually you'll get tired of masturbating in the shower and you'll stop being a dick so you can get off.

When you don't get sex, you're an asshole. Which makes me want to give it to you even less. Vicious cycle.

Confession #700

If I wouldn't have had such poor self-esteem, (thanks to parents who convinced me I was fat, lazy, ugly, stupid and would probably never get married because I was such a bitch.) I wouldn't have put up with all of your shit and married you. Or at least I would have divorced you a long time ago. I stay because you make good money -- we can afford to live in a good school district. and set aside money for our child's college. Also, this way, I can stay at home/volunteer at our son's school. I could never make even half the money you do. But the biggest reason I stay is because you're such a selfish ass and poor father. Once you babysat our son for 6 hours and "forgot" to feed him! If we divorced, our son would spend most of his time alone and in front of a tv eating stale, dry cereal, IF you remembered to feed him. There's also been countless times he's gone wondering around outside and you didn't even notice because you were too busy watching tv. I don't even WANT to think about what would happen to him if you had to take care of him for an entire weekend. Plus, I would be worried sick about what sort of white trash skank would be around my son. You're so "hands off" with our son, I don't even think of him as yours, but mine. And mine only.

True Wife Confessions 69 soixante-neuf or the number Bill and Ted use to test their future selves...Dude.

Confession #681

When you go away on business trips, and you call and leave a message on
my cell phone, I don't delete it. I save them in my voicemail until
they're automatically deleted. I'm afraid that if something happens to
you, they will be the only way I can hear your voice again.

Confession #682

I'm so afraid to tell you that I think I'm pregnant again.
You are a wonderful father to our child, but you have told me you didn't want any more children...
We both agreed I would get off birth control for a while, give my body a break...
I'm afraid of even taking the test because then it would be real.
I hope I can gather the balls to tell you this soon...

Confession #683

I love that you said "so when are we gonna get married" on the back of a Chrysler at the Laundry Mat 11 years ago.(what a redneck)

I love that you let me get sh*t faced drunk and babysit me when I need to just release.( and laugh at me)

I love that you listen to me complain about work constantly.(without bitchin)

I love that you complain about your work to me on a daily basis.( I do care)

I love that when we lost everything to hurricane Isabel you never cracked, you assured me and the girls that we would be ok. (We are even better now.)

I love our sex, you absolutely make me feel so good I think Im addicted to making love to you. (damn baby)

I love that we lay some nights in bed giggling about your farts like schoolchildren.(for hours)

I love that you put me on a pedestal and make me feel like a queen.(I don't think I deserve it)

I love that we are honest and open with each other. We are best friends in every sense.(even when honesty hurts)

I don’t have enough room to list all the reasons I love you……

BUT, I'm scared. The Navy has called me to active duty for 18 months and I'm afraid I will not be able to function to the best of my ability away from you and the girls for that long. I'm afraid you’ll start to hate me for leaving you. You are so strong and act like you can handle this. I know you can. I just wonder if I can.

I love you more than life itself and I think this will be just another hurdle we can overcome. I love you my dear and I will serve my country and honor my promise to serve if called up. Please don’t worry, I will be ok, I will come home and we will kick the kids out when theyre grown and fill the house with dogs and cats. Just take care of yourself in addition to the house and kids. I need to have something to come home to.

Confession #684

Our age difference is becoming an issue. Your sex drive has diasappeared while mine is rising to it's peak. I know that you find me attractive and when you want to have sex, it can be amazing. But... It isn't often enough for me. I want more. And you don't.

It sounds crazy but I've been thinking of finding a man to just have sex with me. I don't want to love anyone else, but I need more physical love than you want or are able to give. I don't need another husband, I just need another penis.

Confession #685

Sweetheart, I love you very much and I appreciate all you to at work to provide for us. However, I wish you understood exactly how high of a toll my unemployment is taking on me, my sanity, and really my will to live. I wake up each day to check my email, send out 20-30 resumes, applications, etc. And that is IT thats all I have. No one counts on me, no one cares where I am, no one cares what I do get done or not. I sit in our home day in and day out doing the same thing, often not speaking aloud once during the day. When you return home I KNOW you are tired, but I am so starved for human interaction I cannot simply just veg on the couch and watch TV. But I know weekdays are tough, so I wait anxiously for the weekends, when you just want to sit around and do nothing so you can rest. Can't you understand this isn't rest for me? Every second we spend at home, staring at the food network is pure torture for me. I sit here and wish I could sleep until the next day and the next. Please, oh please, lets do SOMETHING, anything, please please please. You ask whats wrong, and I tell you I am bored. But bored is too gentle of a term for the endless depression I feel all day long, every day. I wish I could send this secret to you and for you to actually understand.

Confession #686

You're the kind of man who'll tend to my physical and emotional wounds
for weeks after a near-fatal car accident. You're the kind of man who
makes a responsible father and doting husband. You're the kind of
confident man whose lack of insecurities is refreshing.

But you're also the kind of man who talks too much about how much
you're making now when I supported us for the longest when you had no
job. You're the kind of handsome man whose good looks don't extend to
his stomach and all the talk about gym and eating healthy is just
that: Talk. You're the kind of man who's too cocky to know that I just
faked that orgasm... and the one before and the one before and the one
before that.

You're the kind of man who'll never know that no one can do it like my
ex; the one who did me wrong so many times. But our bodies fit
together like pieces of a puzzle and the orgasms he still gives me
makes me want to cry.

Yes, he still gives me them on the nights you fall asleep with your
hand in my pussy. I love you though. You're a good man, but the sparks
will never be there.


Confession #687

I thanked God today that you let me out the car after you screamed at the top of your lungs at me.... because I could of gone to jail for what I was about to do you.

Confession #688

It really hurts me deeply to be rejected by you sexually time and time again. You seem to prefer masterbating to having sex with me. In the beginning, my self-esteem was low and I assumed it was because you found my body repulsive. I was a size 2/24 I existed on Slim Fast bars and Lean Cuisines and worked out for hours on end 5-6 days a week to try to make myself more physically appealing to you. I tried to be as sweet and loving a possible. I read as much on sex as I could find. I thought maybe I was just horribly bad at it. Now, many, many years later, you are still making up excuses. You even start fights before we go to bed when you think I might initiate. But now, I see it all coming so I don't even bother. But when I hear another women make comments about how her husband can't keep his hands off of her, I get insanely jealous. Because I WISH that could be me. And what I find ironic about this situation is that I'm only about 10 pounds heavier than I was 10 years ago. And I've had a child! You no longer have a jawline. You're going bald, also have a hairy back, paunchy stomach, no ass and a 4-inch penis. You are also a selfish jackass who's very lazy in bed. Why do you say, "Not tonight"? You don't even have to do foreplay. You just have to lay there.

Confession #689

Why do YOU get PMS? You do not have ovaries. Yet you bitch and whine like someone jammed a tampon up your ass for at least a full week every month-and no, it does NOT coincide with my cycle, so it's not ME being difficult. You have no right to act like you're on the rag. When blood comes out of YOUR body every month, THEN you earn the right to bitch. Until then, shut up-no one wants to hear your shit.

Confession #690

I wish you would stop drinking and be a productive part of this family. You either blow off or reject every idea that you might be an alcoholic. The facts are simple. you are an alcoholic, your father was an alcoholic your mother was an alcoholic, inspite of their health issues they still both drank until they died.
You don't realize your children see you in the same light you saw your dad. MEAN DRUNK, No you've never laid a hand on the kids but you have a very short fuse and you are impatient and yell entirely too much! Also like your dad you insist on taking on the conversation. Nobody really cares to hear fuck after every other word.
If you want to drink yourself to death, because most of your body is really starting to show signs of abuse, please just let me know, divorce me, tell me to hit the road. We will leave and you can die a slow lonely death, I don't want to watch anymore. I need to get on with my life and be happy and healthy...Yes, I have been abit off lately, because this is weighing so heavily on my mind and I would really like to know if the kids and I are more important that the frickin 30 pack you buy everyday.. Yes, I realize you only drink half of the 30 pak at a time and then you fall asleep... but is that any way to live. As I said, I want a happy and healthy marriage and dont' want to see friends, kids tease someone I love because he's passed out on the floor.
Your not totally to blame, I have turned a blind eye to the whole thing and it didn't dawn on me you had a problem until I started watching the way you dealt with the small things never without a beer in your hand...never a picture without a beer in your hand.
I'm to the point this is your last chance. I used to be so in love with you and now, your just the man I married, we co exist. that's not the marriage you promised me. But I will find it somewhere else...You get help,, I'm done with those stupid meetings... this is your problem, I"m giving it back to you!

True Wife Confessions 68 Guns. (The Alarm WAS one of my first concerts)

Confession #671

I married you partially because we were so fucking hot together. And here we are, years later, still hotter than ever. I love you more and more every day. You are an amazing father, a wonderful husband and still turn me into an animal in the bedroom. I know how lucky I am to have you and when you tell me the same, I know we will be together forever. Thank you for being the special person you are, and thank you for making me feel so incredibly loved on a daily basis.

Confession #672

I hate it when you talk badly about my parents. They may not be the most refined people in the world and are far from perfect, but they are kind and loving and would do anything for my brother and myself. Just because you had no relationship with your father and have a bad relationship with your mother it does not give you the right to try and sabotage the relationship I have with my parents. When you call them "white trash" and other names and then thank god that I am adopted and not genetically related to them it hurts me more that you know. They ARE my parents, not some stranger that I don't know. I love them more than I could ever love you and was lucky to have had them choose me. I don't think that anyone could have had a more loving, supportive and giving mom and dad than I did. Most of the time I just feel sorry for you when you go on your rants about them because you will never know what it is like to have a family that loves you no matter what. I only hope that I am half the mother that mine was and is.

Confession #673

It is really sad when you realize that you are still together only
because you can't afford to split up. I support us on my income alone
now, but there is no way for me to afford child care without you.
Having never pursued a career other than stay-at-home Dad, you have
no way to earn enough to support yourself - much less pay child support.

Confession #674

I love looking at you from behind, when you are walking away and don't know it.
I love your runner's body and your strong legs and tight behind.
Mostly though, I love that you are attracted to me and can't keep your hands off me even though I am in the worst shape I have ever been in my life.


Confession #675

Your family always comes before I do. I asked you to explain to them why next September is not a good time for your brother to get married and you wouldn't do it. You wanted me to say something to them myself. When I did, you jumped my case. Why would your family plan a wedding at the same time of the year that you and I had a preemie and then lost him 11 days later.

I'm almost positive you knew the exact date all along. The wedding is the day before his birthday. You really want me to go back to the place where we lost our son at the same time of the year that we lost him?

You keep telling me I do nothing to help the fragile relationship with your family. Planning this wedding the day before our angel's birthday is not helping. They don't want me there anyway. I'm not going. You can't make me. Be mad if you want. I will not put myself through that.

If you think it is going to be hard for you to go then, tell your family. If they were considerate people, they would do something about it.


Confession #676

Baby, I confess that I married you because I didn't know what I would do
next in life if I didn't do that. I really liked you, but you were a
security blanket, and I recognized that even if I never learnt to love you,
nothing could be as bad as the life I had lived before I met you.

But I did learn to love you. God, what a bunch of growing up that was.
Learning that it wasn't just me anymore, but you and me. And when we finally
moved away from your parents house (and they stopped walking in when we had
sex), oh, happy day! I'm glad that we moved to a new city, a new state, and
finally became good enough for each other; good enough to each other.

So now, instead of just a lazy young girl who takes odd jobs because she
can't see her own self worth, you've helped me mature into a careerwoman
with a steady, successful job where I am valued and enjoyed, and also given
me the courage to think about and begin planning for my own business. I now
own my own car (my first ever!), am losing all of this stupid weight because
of the PCOS (which I would have never found out about because you pushed me
to go to the doctor), and have a better life than anyone I've ever known.
You PUSHED me to be independent, and my own person, and self reliant.

So, every time I talk to you in that silly 'baby' voice, or cling to you so
that we can snuggle just a half hour more on Saturday morning, or when I cry
because I'm scared that I'll never have your children, know that it's
because you completely turn me inside out! You make every fantasy a reality
for me, and you support me even when you have deadlines at work, and you're
tired, and you're worried about your parents. You've shown to me that my
mother, stepfather, and father were really not good examples of what people
should be, and you've helped me rise SO much higher than my mother ever did
in all her years.

I do love you. Desperately. I think I'll print this one day and give it to
you, just so that you'll know.


Confession #677

I confess, I want to have sex with you at least twice a day. And I really
love the fact that you like to receive oral so much. You're the best, most
competent and thoughtful lover I've ever had, and being with you makes me
breathless...Over and over again!

I confess that even though you let me have other lovers because you don't
enjoy S & M, I still wish that all of them were you. And I confess that I
still see one of those men for 'scenes' when you work and I have the
afternoon off.

I confess that it pisses me off when you forget that I'm a competent woman
and that, even though it took me a while to be assertive and responsible
with my finances and my life, I can do it on my own.

I confess that I hate your brother. I've never liked him; I tolerate him
because he'll be all you have when your parents die. And I also confess that
I think that the reason he's had so many problems with failed marriage is
because I think he's a selfish, egotistical, workaholic asshole that takes
advantage of other people's charity.


Confession #678

I confess that I am so afraid that your parent's are going to die. They're
the parents that I never had, and it pains me that one day they won't be
there for me, but more so I know that I won't really have my time to mourn
them, because I'll need to be supportive for you.

I never got over my aunt dying. I just don't know how, and every day I think
of her, and miss her, and my chest still gets tight and I still want to cry
because she's gone. It's been almost two years, and I still hurt like the
first day.

I confess that I cheated on you several times after we got married. Three,
to be honest, and would have more, but I was scared of getting caught. And
I'm sorry for each one of those times. I was sorry even when I was doing it.

I confess that I almost killed myself one night before we got married, and
the only thing that stopped me was the thought that you'd be devastated if I
did.

Confession #679

Honey, thank you for saving me, who knows where I might be if not for you ! I love you more than life. You are my rock. Thank you for 21 great years and 5 beautiful daughters. I hate that my family was so screwed up and you have to know that I come from that. I am so glad that I have you but I do not deserve you....I have thought about cheating a lot..Just so you would leave me and everyone would know I was trashy like my Mom.

Confession #680

Your old bottle of cologne didn't fall into the sink and break. I threw it away because it made you smell like the air freshener in a taxi. I like the one I gave you to replace it much better.

True Wife Confessions 67 Tales of Edgar Allen Poe

Confession #661

I hate your mother and sister. They are crazy, crazy bitches and it's
because of my complete love for you that I will work as hard as I am to have
a workable and peaceful relationship with them. Because you are such an
amazing man I will be the adult, bite my tongue til it bleeds, and always
always always think twice before anything I say or write to either one of
them. I find that as long as I don't expect rational behavior I do alright.

And your Dad and Brother in Law? Pussies. Nice, Kind, Thoughtful....Pussies

Confession #662

I think I feel like such a horrible bitch when I tell you things that I don't like that you do, because you. Are. So. Good to me. So good. I don't deserve you, no matter what you say, and all the love I could give you could never even chalk up to how grateful I am that you, in fact, love ME. I wouldn't deserve it even after a hundred trillion thousand million years of being on my best behavior. That you can put up with the fact that I just CAN'T keep my mouth shut about things, little stupid things, makes me love you even more. For your kindness and patience and good lord, I do love you so.

Confession #663

Did you really, honestly believe our sex life wouldn't change? Who fed you that line of bullshit anyways? I carried & gave birth to two babies in two years. When you made me fuck the minute I got home from my six-week postpartum doctor appointments? Awful. When I was on medication for severe post-partum depression, and you wanted me to call my doc and see if they'd switch me to a different anti-depressant so maybe I'd be hornier? FUCK YOU.

Confession #664

Your temper scares me. I know it is rare, but you become verbally violent when you are "stressed". But don't you dare blame your stress on me. I stay home and raise our children, while you sit as a desk for eight plus hours a day. And when you do come home, you sit on your ass and relax, while I cook you dinner and continue to raise our children. You need to check yourself at the front door and become Dad for the little time you are home.

Confession #665

You are all talk and NO action. You say things need to change but then you never do anything about it. You expect me to change first. I'm tired of waiting. Be proactive in this family and act like the man! Stop hiding from us. Stop working late to avoid things; stop hiding in the bathroom to take a crap four times a night; stop having to "run" to the store.

I married you because I was in love with you and you had a plan for us. Now the plan changes because you get bored with what you are doing. I'm tired of waiting to see what happens. I'm doing more with my life so that I can provide for my children when I leave your sorry butt. Then you will see who is in control.

Confession #666

(This is the confession of Satan)

I actually do speak to kids through hard rock metal.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Confession #667

I hate sex. It seems pointless. I don't know if it is me or if you are the problem. I used to fake every orgasm because I was never having them with you. But I do thank you for our children.

Confession #668

I'm not really at work today. I took the day off and didn't tell you so I could waste time with impunity and without having to interact with your mother.

Confession #669

I HATE your smoking, the chewing tobacco, and the nail biting. Whatever oral fixation you have, it must stop. It will be a simple reason to divorce your sorry butt. You have damaged the lungs of me and your children. If you don't care about yourself, start caring about your children or at least me.

Confession #670

I'm having an emotional affair that is gradually turning physical. I want to stay married to you, and I don't want you to ever find out. I am sorry. But I am also pissed off at you for refusing to deal with your alcoholism, neglecting me to play frickin video games, burning through the contents of our checking account in Atlantic City twice, and yelling at me to make yourself feel better when you're mad at your mother or nervous. I am having a revenge affair because I don't know how to cope with my rage at you without leaving you and throwing our family life into complete turmoil.

Sharing the Love

Dear TWC readers,

Last night I got an email informing me that this humble blog was chosen as one of the Winners for BlogTalk Radio's "Women of the Blogosphere".

I share this with each of you, and thank you for your trust, honesty and dedication. This blog only works because people share, read and comment. I remain amazed that this "little idea" I had to avoid packing has grown into the space that TWC has become. I remain amazed at your willingness to share the not-pretty parts of marriage and partnership, as well as saying what you love about your husbands and partners. This, as one reader recently commented, is the "real deal".

I am researching the charity that will get the donation in TWC's name. I am leaning towards the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. How do you all feel about that?

Keep the confessions coming (No...Seriously, the stash is getting low....)

And congratulations to you all. You should be very proud that we grew this together.

Love,
Dawn

True Wife Confession Route 66 - Getting our kicks

Confession #651

I know how you flirt with other women. I read your myspace comments and your message board comments to other women. How do you think that makes me feel when I see you flirting and calling these other women hot? I feel like a fat piece of shit when you do that. Like I'm not good enough for you. Why do you think I am always upset and mad at you when you go to your events and stuff? Because I know some of those chics are going to be there and you are going to be flirting with them. I stay at home with OUR daughter and you get to go out for weekends and stay gone all night long so that you can be with your friends. Why don't I ever get to do that? Our daughter is only 2.5 years old and you've spent the weekend away probably 8 times now. I've NEVER did that. Sometimes I think I hate you because of it.

Confession #652

Dear Husband,

I know you read this website and I'm hoping you are reading this confession right now. This one really IS mine.

You are an amazing father.

I tell you that all the time and you say, "But I'm a daddy, it's my job!" And I tell you that most husbands I know don't do half of the things you do and you say, "But why? Why'd they have kids in the first place if they weren't going to help out? They're missing out on their children's lives!!" Even writing what you said makes me smile because you really have no clue what a sweetie you are. Most guys aren't raised to believe the daddy has to do more than be a sperm donor and occasionally, "babysit" their own kids. I don't know what went right with you, but kudos to whomever schooled you on what it means to be a real man.

I just wish you'd really believe that you are King Stud Man and A Number One Daddy of the Century. But you shrug and say, "It's no big deal, I like being a dad."

I don't know many husbands who have ALWAYS gotten up with the baby and toddlers overnight because the wife has a hard time falling back to sleep once woken up and the husband can fall asleep easily. He'd rather his wife was well rested because he knows what a hard job being a stay at home mom is. Even tho he works full time and has intense pressures at work. Yeah, honey, that's very very rare. And you've been on "night duty" for years now and never and will be again once the baby comes and you have never complained once and never will. You'll stagger around in a stupor and still say, "Sleep deprivation doesn't bother me."

I don't know many husbands who would come home to a wife sprawled out on the couch with no dinner prepared because she's too sick and drained from being pregnant and grab the kids and say, "Come on, let's make dinner for Mommy tonight!" And do that night after night after night. And never complain- not once. Instead, you say, "You're pregnant. You're making our next child. You're only job is to make sure you feel ok."

And you're not a con artist. You aren't boinking some floozy on the side. You're this big lovable nerd who truly loves being married and being a dad. I think you need to be in a museum where women could owe and aha over you and ask if you could be cloned. You cook, you clean toilets, you do home repair, you tell me to get out of the house for "me time" whenever I want and you never never never complain. You loved me thin and now love me fat because as you say, "I fell in love with YOU, not your clothing size."

Ok, so you're not romantic in the traditional sense. You don't send chocolates and flowers and sweep me off my feet with poetry or whatnot. But when I say I'm bored with the kitchen floor, you will retile the floor without hesitation. That's your version of romantic and honey, I'll take it!

So what's my confession? Not because of anything you do or say, but I fear you will find someone who is better than me. A Victoria Secret model who can cook gourmet meals and actually enjoys keeping the house spotless while wearing short skirts with no panties. She never forgets to send your mother a birthday present and always wears makeup and loves giving oral sex nightly.

Instead you got me. You unlucky bastard. And I have to believe you work as hard as you do for us because you truly love me. But sometimes, I wonder why. Sometimes I fear I'm not good enough and don't deserve you. Then sometimes I tell myself to shut the hell up and just enjoy this incredible experience. I got lucky. I just wish I could give back to you what you give to me and to our family. I will make an effort to show my appreciation more. You deserve more Me Time and Sleep Time and Cooked Dinner Time yourself.

You rock, Stud Man. You rock hard. Never ever forget that. We love you.


Confession #653

I found you last week. Someone sent me a people finder just to see if I was in there and I checked for you instead. Sure enough, there you were. I knew you had moved to another state, but I had no idea where. I now know you live in North Dakota. I told myself it would give me some measure of comfort and security, that it would make things easier knowing you're clear across the country and there's no chance you would ever see me around town and that it was good to know exactly where you are. But I lied to myself - it's so much worse.

I used to only think about you once in a while. Now I think about you all the time. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder how you are...that you don't creep into my mind. I know you married her - the her who was standing there so ready to console you when I broke it off. I know you just had your third child. And although I'm happily married with 2 children myself, I can't help wondering or hoping that sometimes she does something or says something that reminds you of me. Maybe she tosses her hair over her shoulder the way I used to, maybe she giggles like I do, maybe it's the way she reaches out to touch your face when you smile like I used to, or maybe she lays her head in your lap and falls asleep like I used to love to do, and I hope that in that moment, even on some subconscious level, you miss me and you miss what we had even just a little bit.

You were the true love of my life. I will forever suffer for being too selfish and stupid to appreciate you when we were kids. I was too stupid to see that you left your friends to come be with me and instead focused on you arriving late. I was too stupid to see that you followed me up to college because you wanted to be with me and not because you wanted a change of scenery. I was too stupid to see that we were an almost perfect fit the way we were and would have been perfect after I grew up a little.

If it at all atones for my behavior then, please know that I still love you, I will always love you, I appreciate you now and I will always live with the thought that I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let you go.

Confession #654

I don't know why I looked at the cookies on your computer. I knew what I'd find there, and now I am hurt and humiliated all over again. You try to argue that it's the same as my romance novels, but we both know it's not - those are real women in your porn. And they are women who are younger and thinner than me, and as our marriage goes on, they will be younger and thinner yet than me. One day I'll be in my forties, then fifties, and you'll still be looking at pictures of dead-eyed nineteen year olds who are apparently 'hott' and 'ready' - and who I suppose once dreamt of something more than this.

I can't be 'cool' or 'relaxed' about this. I feel undesirable. I feel unwanted. I can accept that your libido is low because of all the stress you face at work, but to find this stuff on your computer feels like a kick in the teeth. There's a woman right here, in your house, who'd be happy to get naked for you.

And you know that when you look at porn, you're participating in the exploitation of those women (I'm sorry, I don't buy that empowered women crap in the face of the drug abuse and sexual abuse statistics in the industry.) And you're a good guy. You're better than this.

Sometimes I wish to God that the internet had never been invented. At least I could have burnt magazines.


Confession #655

I lie to you when I tell you that it's almost 9 o'clock. It's usually
only 7 am. Although 95% of the time you go right back to sleep I like to
spend extra time with you before you go to work.. even if it is only a
moment or two. A simple sleepy kiss. I love you.

Confession #656

Guess what. The reason I want that divorce RIGHT NOW, in spite of being separated for SOOOOO long (a year-ish) and never making a big deal about it before? I'm pregnant. And hell, honey, it's been a year and, even if I wasn't expecting, I'm just ready to get this over. He's a better match for me than you ever were.

Confession #657

I don't know that I love you as much as I love who I am with you. You make me feel like a queen. I wish I could say that was enough to keep us together forever. But there are just too many things that need to be different, and I know they never will be. I could probably stick it out forever but I just don't want to. I want more out of this short life. I might even want him, instead, even though I know he will never make me feel like you do. But you will never make me feel like he does.

Confession #658

Remember I had a miscarriage two years ago? Well, I
had an abortion (on purpose) after I realized you
weren't going to marry me after dating you for 5
fucking years. I hate you!! I will eventually marry
you then dump you.

Confession #659

I am jealous of you. I do not think I have ever been jealous of you before. I am a little mad too. How does it happen that you get to have a baby by accident, and i who am married and been trying for ever does not. I am happy for you, but I am also jealous.

Confession #660

You disgust me. You said that your antidepressants lowered your sex drive, make you unable to cum. Funny that you sit around and look at porn all day. At night you tell me that you are too tired or not in the mood, or I get 2 seconds of half-assed effort. I found your porn and you lied about it. Looked me in the eye and lied.

I told you before how I feel about that. I take really good care of myself, a lot of men find me attractive, it's wrong to spend all of your sexual energy on porn and leave nothing for your wife. I've got news for you, you want to stay with me, you will pay the price. The only way I will stay with you after this humiliation is by cheating. When I go on my trip next month I am going to cheat on you. I will find a man that makes me feel beautiful and sexy, and then I will give him everything that I now refuse to give you. You made me feel so badly about myself, you Bastard.

True Wife Confessions 65 Degrees North

Confession #641

I hate my Husband. I hate that he doesn't give a shit about me or our son. I should have known by the way he acted towards his other son when I first met him. He didn't call him or try to see him. We have been married 2 years and I left him on our 2nd anniversary. He hasn't called to check on us or even sent money. When I do talk to him he is cold and unforgiving. I threw something at him.. He in return tried to choke me. I called the Cops, Now he cant forgive ME?!? FORGIVE ME?!? He said I tried to take his life away.. WHAT LIFE? He didn't hang around us when he was home.. Oh I know what life he is talking about.. The one where he plays video games and drinks with his buddies instead of staying home and spending time with his wife and son. That life. He is hiding something.. I cant put my finger on it. But he is pawning things for money, money that I never see and then lying to me about where the items were going.. The bills were not getting paid and the food was running out, but where was the money going.. There were 2 times in one month that he "lost" or "got stolen" Money. Big money too not just 20's. I hate him and I am glad we are apart. I secretly wish he would go to jail and I would never have to see him again.

Confession #642

I am not 10 years old. I am a grown adult. Quit telling me to get some sleep or to go to bed or anything even remotely like that. I will go to bed when I damn well want to. I like to stay up late, long after you are in bed because that is the only time I don't have any one wanting anything from me. It is the time when I get the alone time I so desperately need. I know that I am going to be tired in the morning but I am a big girl and can deal with it. Do you hear me complain that I am tired? Nope. You whine more about being tired than I do, so stuff it!

Confession #643

I love your family. They are the kindest people I have ever met and I feel I relate to them more than I do to my own parents. However, they are content to just BE. They never made an attempt to better themselves, to have more than what they have. Their financial situation blows my mind. How they can live the way they do stuns me sometimes. I realize your desire to help them out and give them things they cannot afford for themselves, but honestly-they've got a nicer TV, surround sound, and living room set than we do-and we paid for it. When I am scrounging through the change jar and checking under the couch cushions for change to buy milk...There is seriously something wrong with this picture. GROW UP AND STOP TRYING TO MAKE THEM LOVE YOU MORE. THEY LOVE YOU. They'd love you even if you didn't have a pot to piss in-which, right now, we don't...Thanks to you taking care of everyone else's responsibilities instead of your own.

Confession #644

I am not a wife, but I see what my sister is going through. He can be a nice guy, but has over time become selfish, immature, wildly irresponsible with money and totally distanced from his wife and little boy. She deserves better. So does my nephew. I look at their marriage and realize the best thing for thing for all of them would be divorce. But she is afraid to be on her own and he is too lazy. So, they all suffer and I don't know how to help, except to listen and comfort her as best I can.

Confession #645

You claim to like my parents. Yet every time they want to get together with us or have us over it is a HUGE inconvenience for you. And it isn't like they live 20 min from us and just drop in all the time like they do to my brother and his wife. They live 5 hours away! You get pissed when they are in town and want to take us out to dinner. You get pissed if I want us to spend more than 48 hours at their house. You get pissed when my dad offers to come over on the weekend and do all the home repair stuff that you never get to. (Just so you know, I suspect that you never get to it because I don't know how to do it. Which is fine, but for christsakes, we own a home, maintenance is part of the deal. WORK IT OUT!!!) My dad was willing to drive 5 HOURS EACH WAY to come over and bust his ass on our house. You couldn't be bothered because you didn't feel like "entertaining him" all weekend. I don't think he needs much entertaining when he is fixing the roof, the plumbing in the master bathroom, the wiring in the kitchen (by the way, 3 years of no overhead lights in the kitchen? OLD.) and repairing the stuff that the contractor fucked up on the remodel.

My parents think you hate them. I am starting to think they are right. And I don't know why you would. They have been nothing but kind to you. They have tried to get to know you . You just hold them at arms length. I don't know why. I am starting to not care. I love my family. You knew that before we got married. I am tired of sacrificing time with them for you, just because I don't care for them. Grow up.

Confession #646

I love you, but more and more I'm realizing that you're just a fuck-up. I've told you to quit drinking about a million times. I've told you what I want, what will make me happy. You act like you'll do things, like you understand... but you just keep fucking up. You make up stupid lies. Wonder why I don't want to have kids yet? Because I don't want them to have to live with an alcoholic dad like you did. You'd think you would've learned from the way he fucked up your family. I know marriage is supposed to be forever, but I have no problem leaving you if you don't straighten up... and you know this. I'm too smart for this crap. I deserve better than a white trash existence. I will get what I want. I'm not ashamed of divorce. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm going to make myself happy. I used to think that meant being with you, but you've been spending the past several months proving me wrong. You're running out of chances. I'll have no problem finding someone better. If not? I'll just go to a sperm bank and have kids on my own. I don't need you.

Confession #647

Two years ago today we were driving to my Dad's funeral and the hospital was calling because there was nothing else to do with my terminally ill (cancer) brother and they wanted to release him and wanted me to get a hospital bed at that moment. I was trying to figure out how to quit my new job and take care of him. After a 6 hour drive, we arrived at the hotel and there was no place to park and you made a huge scene because the Saints had taken up all the parking spaces and you kept using the n word. I begged you to get back in the car and act normal. I hated you so much in that moment because I was at the end of my mind and you were stepping on my fingers as I was hanging on. You have never apologized for your SELFISH childish alcoholic behavior. If you ever do the steps, I hope you will include an apology for that day. I am waiting for it.

Confession #648

I broke up today with the man I have been having an online affair with for the past five months. You can tell that I am sad about something, but don't know what it is. I wish that I could have the passion that I feel for him - the passion I have felt for him since I was 20 years old, but have never felt for you. You are an amazing father and honestly? The best husband a woman like me could ask for...You give me freedom to be who I am, pursue my career, indulge my whims, but have I ever been in love with you? No. I married you because he had broken my heart so badly that I never wanted to feel that again. I chose you. Someone dependable, someone safe - who would never get to my heart in the same way.

You are a good man, but I am not and have never been in love with you. Our marriage is built on intelligence and compatibility and our child. And when you tell me that you are committed to the concept of marriage, regardless of being committed to me? I wonder if you feel the same way.


Confession #649

I hate your whole family. I have tried to like them, but they seem to prefer your ex girlfriend and your first son over me-your WIFE and our son. I hate that they don't buy our son things-for Christmas for his birthday for any reason. Your first son gets sneakers clothes and toys every month from them. They have him every weekend, whereas WE can't even see him. They call him, they don't call to see how our son is doing, even if they know we were at the hospital for some reason. I hate your family, but I love you. I'm glad you didn't turn out like them.


Confession #650

You have no idea how much I loved you but I was 18, what did I know? You verbally abused me only 6 months into our relationship but it was 1973, I'd never even heard the words "verbal and emotional abuse." I thought I loved you enough to change you. How wrong I was. I stayed with you for 22 years because I was afraid of raising our 2 sons alone. But I finally made the break and divorced you and what did you do? You've punished me for the last 12 years for it. You've punished me because I make more money than you. In punishing me, you've hurt our sons immeasurably. You'll never know how much they despise the person that you've turned into. You've hurt our younger son more than the older one because your love still means something to him. But he's 19, he'll wise up one day and you won't even have him. You will die a lonely old man because your heart is cold. When I have called you begging for your help with our youngest, you told me "this is what you wanted, deal with it." You have put your own selfish hurt first. You've never once thought that I had a good reason to divorce your stupid selfish pessimistic abusive ass. Well guess what? Remember all those years after you re-married because you got her pregnant and she wisely divorced you after less than a year and she would throw your sorry ass in jail if you didn't pay her so you didn't pay me? Well, the attorney general's office will be notifying your cheap ass soon because I'm suing you for back child support. This is what I want, now you'll have to deal with it.

You think I despise you because of what went on in our marriage. It's been 12 years you idiot, I have put all that WAY behind me. The reason I despise you is because of the way you have treated our sons since our divorce. You put your own agenda first, which is getting me back for divorcing you. Our younger son's drug problem is all about you isn't it? All you think about is how much it hurts YOU that he has a drug problem. You don't think about the torment he goes through being an addict--something he didn't choose. (And stop already with the catty comments that he gets his addiction problem from MY side of the family. Thank God I got him away from you before he got the idea that verbally abusing women is OK.)

And our older son being gay is all about you too isn't it? All you think about is how ashamed you are to admit to people that you have a gay son. (And your inappropriate comments just show how ignorant you really are by the way.) You don't think about what he goes through living his life as a gay man in our society. He didn't choose to be gay, why would anyone do that? You don't think about the torment HE went through before he ever came out to you or anyone else. You are so cellulose, none this has even crossed that piece of shit you have for a mind.

Oh and one more thing. Thanks to your neglect of our sons for the last 12 years, I have had to be there for them financially, emotionally and physically almost completely on my own. Now that they are grown, I have a very strong bond and a wonderful relationship with them that I probably wouldn't have had if I had stayed married to the likes of you. That's been the best part of our divorce. You think I turned them against you. That just shows you how stupid you really are.

True Wife Confessions 64 positions in the Kama Sutra

Confession #631

To my husband,

I love you, but life with you is really hard. Maybe I am just being selfish or naive. Someone flirted with me the other day. I loved it. I fantasize about about life would be like with them.

Being a step-mom, and dealing with their moms is tough. Dealing with your moms involvement with one of them is even worse. I know you and everyone Else is just doing what is best for the kids. Isn't growing up in a happy home with dad important too?

I stopped my infertility treatments this month. I do not think it is right to bring a baby in to the world when I am unsure. I am so mad. If those women who had your babies after knowing all of minute had the same sense I do I would not be agonizing over all this right now! How dare they get to do what ever they want, and then complain to us when things did not work out how they wanted it to. Thanks to all of you I suffer too!

I am so glad I ripped up your football tickets.

Confession #632

Remember that first awful month after I first found out about her? Remember when you crawled into bed with me, and told me how sorry you were that you'd hurt me, how much you loved me, and what were we going to do to fix it, then said you were going to see her again?
When I had my morning poo the next day, I stirred it around the toilet with your toothbrush.
I wasn't sorry one bit, and I'm still not.

Confession #633

You are the most amazing husband and father. You do more around the house than I do. You make dinner every night so I can sit and nurse the baby comfortably. You go to work every day so that we can have a nice home and I can stay home with our kids. But OH. MY. GOD. You're fucking snoring is sending me over the edge. PLEASE lose 10 pounds like the doctor told you to do 3 years ago. Our 8 week old is sleeping through the night but your snoring keeps me up. I really can't take it anymore.

Confession #634

I want nothing more than to beat this addiction. I can't describe how
much I love you for sticking with me through all these years of self
abuse. All the times I've resolved to get better and all the failed
attempts. I've broken so many promises to you. I worry that I'm
ruining your life. I wish I knew how to beat this so I could grow old
with you. I don't want to die.

Confession #635

When I started talking to you 8 years ago you were the sweetest man I knew.
When I went through rough times you were always there. Eventually I came
around to loving you and wanting to be with you. So 3 1/2 years ago I moved
350 miles from my family, friends and everything I knew to be with you. I
was scared but I knew you would get me through it. The first year we were
married was wonderful. You were loving and sweet. Then we started trying to
have a baby and realized that without serious assistance I couldn't have a
child. But to give you the baby you wanted I went through hell and back with
fertility treatments and such, all for you. I wanted it so badly, to make
you happy. But it just wasn't working. Through all of this I never
complained when you refused to go get checked out to see if you might be
part of the problem. It didn't occur to me that maybe even though you
constantly said you did that you really didn't want to have a baby with me.
You didn't love me enough to go plain and simple. And even when I had the
opportunities to cheat on you I didn't. I loved you and couldn't break your
trust that way. Obviously you didn't feel the same about me. Even when I
found out about your girlfriend I loved you enough and wanted to make it
work enough to forgive you. Well it didn't stop there. You just couldn't let
her go. You couldn't be happy with me and ended up screwing up my life,
getting me thrown in jail for assault... yes your WIFE beat you up, I
seriously hope you have trouble living with that fact. Then you didn't even
have the guts to talk to me about divorce, you just filed and never
mentioned it. My lawyer had to tell me you had filed. But for that I have to
thank you. You got what you deserved, your girlfriend wouldn't leave her
husband for you, you lost your job because I wasn't there to wake you up in
the mornings and your family still loves me. I bet that drives you crazy. I
hear you are getting married again, and my one piece of advice to your
future wife... good luck.. she's going to need it. And I just wanted you to
know that the man I am with now, is more of a man than you could ever be.
He's younger, sweeter, better looking, he treats me like a woman should be
treated and I'm happy for the first time in a long time. And that's all I
have to say.

Confession #636

Don't act like you are a huge martyr for canceling the premium movie channels on our cable. You never watched them, anyway. We were spending an extra $50 a month for the comfort of you knowing you 'could' watch a movie anytime you wanted to. What a waste of money. You bitch about the cost of our internet access-well, at least I use it. DAILY. I can't remember the last time you sat and watched a movie on cable.

Confession #637

When will you realize that charity begins in the home? You are more generous to others than you are to us. You buy concert tickets for friends, knowing full well we don't have the money in our budget. You offer to help finance your sister's move, and when it fell through, who was out the money for her security deposit and first month's rent? You feel bad for her-I get that. She's a single mom with a piece of shit for an ex...But that does not mean we should simply hand over all that we have and put ourselves in the poorhouse. If it were just you and I, maybe I'd be more ok with it...But we have a child. We have to buy food and diapers for her, and keep a roof over our head. You seem to feel the need to put everyone else first, so that they will love you and like you and appreciate you. You have a wife and daughter who love you, like you, and appreciate you for all you are and all that you try to be...Why is that not enough for you? Why do you feel the need to save the world at the expense of your family?

Confession #638

I should have married for money. You have no concept of how much things cost, nor do you care. You drain our bank account far too often and leave us in the hole. I am so sick of it. You wonder where the money goes, and when I show you how many ATM withdrawals you have made in the past two weeks, you get a confused look on your face-and then "Oh, yeah, I needed money to do...(insert stupid reason here)". And then you blame me for our credit problems. Well, maybe our credit would not be so shitty if you've leave some fucking money in the bank so that I could pay the damn bills and not keep paying insufficient funds fees. I should have stuck with that guy my mom wanted me to marry. He had tons of money.

Confession #639

You work 7 days a week up to 14 hours a day and it makes me sick to my stomach that I can not work, or even get a job that would cover day care for our two beautiful baby girls and still earn enough to help out our finances.
You are one of the most strongest people I have ever known. We have your sister and 5y/o niece living with us now and I see the stress it causes, oh my gosh I see it and yet you still try to make it a good situation for all and become the ring leader in every fight.

You work until your weak and still come home, the first words I hear are "how was your day, is there anything I can do" I love how considerate you are.
When you do get a day off, you spend it helping around the house which I never even have to ask for. You dote on our daughters and you love me more than any person I have ever known.
I love how no matter how much stress you are under, you still take the time to tell me how beautiful I am and play with your girls.
Your a damn hard worker and a damn good provider, and my hero. You gave me every reason to live and being with us is the most beautiful blessing, I'll never be able to thank God enough.

Thank you for these beautiful 4 years so far, Thank you being patient and understanding and devoted. Thank you for being the most wonderful father I have ever seen. I have never known a man to dote on two babies as much as you do, and still snuggle with his wife and help do chores.
Man I am blessed. I love you so so much I can't even describe.

Yes you have negatives, so do I, but by gosh your positives outweigh all.

Confession #640

If you want to own a home of our own someday, STOP WASTING MONEY. STOP buying shit we don't need. STOP buying DVDs. STOP going to concerts and shows. STOP ordering take-out at lunch when I pack a perfectly good lunch for you to take to work. STOP trying to keep up with everyone else around us...Nobody's dumb enough to think we actually have money. You just look like an idiot when you offer to buy a round at the bar, because everyone knows you really can't afford it.

True Wife Confession 63 Anomalies of Water

Confession #621

You are a convicted felon. BTW...Everyone in BOTH those groups knows you're an abuser. The only people who like you in the program are the men who are just like you...Rapists, murderers, convicted felons on their way out of or into prison, wife abusers, child molesters. These people are your friends. These are the only people on the planet you can relate to and who can relate to you. You are a cheat, a liar, and you are psychotically in denial. You don't even believe you're an alcoholic. You said yourself that you could just go to meetings and never do the steps. If you could fuck your mother, you would.

And THAT is why I'm divorcing you.

And I can't WAIT for the day I have that paper, signed by a Judge, stating that our marriage is over because you are cruel and inhuman. You are NOT human.

I hope you rot in Hell.

Confession #622

I hate you. That's the bottom line, and it took me a long time to get to it. I am 29 years old,and living with my parents again. Why? Because you chose to live a life that did not include me. I put up with you for almost 10 years, I wasted my college days on being with you,making a home with you, and making myself believe that I was so lucky to have someone like you. You did nothing. You dropped out of school 3 times, smoked pot on a hourly basis. While you were doing that I was putting anything that came from a restaurant,or grocery store into my mouth. Also I was going to school full time, racking up debt,trying to pay bills with non-existent money,and keeping up appearances. And yes I will accept responsibility for not having any sexual contact with you for 7 years. I was depressed,and lonely,and did not know what to do. I had no family anywhere around me, and I was stuck in VT. Your touch made me want to scream, and all I wanted was to be told I was pretty and smart, without having to give you some lame ass hand job. I was so happy when we decided to get married! I picked out my engagement ring,watched you hold on to it, and let me try it on whenever I wanted to, but not officially propose to me, but I did not get it, I just waited.. Hoping that your parents would buy my wedding ring a day before the wedding, that was by far one of the most humiliating experiences. Then into 7 months of marriage you meet some home wrecker, cheat on me,tell me that your worthless (looking for an out were you!) but decide to try it again if I get counseling for my depression. How dare you. I got my counseling,I started having sex with you again,I put up with you moodiness, and your drinking problem. Its a sad state of affairs when I come home from work after working with 3 years olds all day long, hoping that you drank vodka instead of Jack Daniels, because it makes you less mean. Then comes the day after the cops visited for the second time, you decided that you cant handle it anymore and you love that girl. You want a divorce. I protested and cried thinking my life was over. You shut down and did not care, because if you did care that would make you human and you would have to deal with feelings that you don't know how to deal with. I packed up,left, and am now rebuilding my life in my childhood bedroom. I wish I could send you the acceptance letter that I got from graduate school. I am not worthless,I am smart, and I will succeed. Even if it is from my childhood bedroom. And what do you have, a drinking problem,a dirty apt,a mediocre job, and your mommy enabling your behavior, and becoming the father I saw you hate. Congratulations! You're a fucker just like him.


Confession #623


Dear husband why cant you do something without me asking?

I mean if the cat poops on the floor, don't walk over, don't call me, don't yell at me that there is cat poop on the floor, just clean it. If I buy a ceiling fan and all the parts that are needed to be installed and you promise to install it this weekend, please do it, don't let everything sit there in a pile for more than a couple of weeks. Don't go apeshit if your looking for the salt or pepper in the cabinet and it does not magically appear before your eyes, move a few things and it will be right there. Do not assume your favorite pair of work pants are clean just because you left them on the floor and the laundry fairy picks them up. Don't tell me your going to eat dinner and then proceed to eat chips and dip and tell me your full after I spent all afternoon cooking a great meal for all of us. Don't pick up beer at the store and say you forgot to pick up my soft drink that was in the same aisle.

Confession #624

I trusted you. I gave you the one thing that no one could touch. I gave you my heart. Sure I may have given it to you solely because you represented security. But even with that concession to myself, I still gave it to you 100%. I never cheated on you, yet from the start you cheated on me. Blame me for staying, blame you you piece of shit for doing what you did. Why? Why did you even bother when you knew you just wanted a break away from mommy's stronghold. Why didn't you just have the balls to break away instead of taking 10 years of my youth. At least when I knew I stayed with you for security I didn't have delusions of grandeur. Now I'm fat, while you've slimmed down (I'm only fat because I didn't want people to see me and tempt me into cheating on you prick). You've got a girlfriend you started fucking while we were married, and I'm left with baggage from a broken heart that still burns to the touch even though it was all your fault. I have health issues and bills up the ass so much so that groceries are sometimes hard for me to have money to buy, and you finally after 10 years decide to make some decent money (note that never once while we were married did you ever pick up the slack and help) and are building a $300,000 house with your new bitch?! Is this the payment for the 10 years I never cheated on you? The 10 years I gave my youth away on someone like you? The 10 years of wounded heart that I've suffered (yes, that includes my heart attack, I wonder if you caused that with your attitude). You're an asshole and you can look all cherub like and talk all mild mannered, but no matter how much you cover up with mannerisms, you still are a piece of shit.

Confession #625

my grandma called last night to invite me to a dinner in celebration of her 65th wedding anniversary to grandpa!!! Can you believe it! She was at the Dr. with grandpa yesterday and said someone asked her who HE was? She told him it was her husband and they had been married for 65 years. The woman was amazed and asked how she had managed to remain married for so long. Grandma said, "we've had our ups and downs, fighting, arguing, etc., now we just don't talk to each other."

so, there ya go.

Confession #626

Gah, you drive me INSANE!!! How can you be so goddamn negative all the time? You tell me what you want to do with your life, and I say, great! We can make that work! Let's do it! You then spend 20 minutes telling me why none of it can work out, and why you'll always be unhappy. Somehow, I find myself in an argument where I'm arguing FOR the things that make you happy, and you're arguing AGAINST them! And to top it all off, now I'm the mean one who's "criticizing" you because I'm saying you *can* do whatever you put your mind to, and that our son and I will make sacrifices so that you can go back to school or do whatever you want. You make me feel like I'm crazy! If you're so sure nothing will work out, and that you will always be an unhappy, miserable failure, then I'm sick to death of trying to convince you otherwise. Go be miserable. Just know that you'll be doing it without me or our son.



Confession #627

Not complimenting your pregnant wife is very uncool. Fake it if you must, but tell me I look nice, that you can tell I cleaned the house, since clearly you NEVER would, that you appreciate laundry being magically done. Calling me preggers is annoying as fuck. Stop it.

Confession #628

Picking work over taking your 3 year old to her first day of preschool is pretty damn selfish and I hope I am a better parent than you are because 15 minutes will not make or break your career and if it does, fuck them!!

Confession #629

Sorry baby for being the worst wife ever.Sorry for shouting at you at every opportunity,sorry for hitting and kicking you and sleeping with other men,sorry I didn't realize the smiles you gave me were love,I'm really sorry for everything I did,and you took it all and loved me,hugging me after hitting you!!
Now I'm sorry for myself,realizing I have lost the loveliest,kindest,most honest man I've ever known,my family saw it and don't speak to me,but you still call and see how I am,what an idiot I was,sorry,sorry,sorry.

Confession #630

I feel like work is way too important to you and that our family must take a backseat to it at all times. Let it go. It's just a fucking job. We are your family. Being grumpy and moody and then fake happy is not how I am going to live. I grew up in a house like that a nd I refuse to let our children grow up in a similar way. Either leave the job stuff at work or talk about it. Don't sit and brood about it all night. It is not attractive.

True Wife Confessions 62 Million Year Cycle

Confession #611

I am so sick and tired of having to plan every single day, weekday or weekend, around you and your shit. I have lost all say or control over having any breaks away from this house, and without our child in tow. I am on call as a housewife and mother 24/7, and I NEED A FUCKING BREAK! Going to the supermarket doesn't count! Once a month to get my roots dyed is just not cutting it anymore! I love our child more than life itself, but I need to get away from the clinging and the whining for a couple of hours. You have the nerve to think I have it easier than you b/c I get to stay at home. Then you make ridiculous statements like "the boy doesn't need to be entertained around the clock". No, you dumb fuck, its about interacting with your 21 month-old child. Something you have no clue how to do. AT ALL. Even though he begs for your attention. And you just don't get it, you asshole. I don't think you'll ever change, and I think I may leave you after all. You may think I won't, and I'm not gonna stop you from working on this stupid house (which you should've done a long time ago instead of your precious car). But I don't care how much money you rack up in debt, its the least I could do for all the bullshit I've had to endure. FUCK YOU.

Confession #612

Thank you for not getting on my case about being
unemployed this summer. I know we both expected me to
find work more quickly, but never once have you asked
me how many resumes I'm sending out every day, or what
I've been doing to find a job. You understand that
I'm trying to figure out what direction I want my
career to take, and that the process is longer than I
thought it would be. The bottom line is that you want
me to be as happy and fulfilled professionally as you
are, and that means more than any designer couch or
fancy car we could have bought if I'd taken a crappy
dead-end job just to bring in more money.

Confession #613

I don't get your thing about ultimate fighting...and you don't get my love of video games. Thanks for just going into the other room and we can each do our own things.

Confession #614

When I tell you that my breasts are tender because my period is coming, that is not an invitation to touch them. They are sore. They want to be left alone.

Confession #615

In spite of all of the wonderful things you do, the
next time you bring home an entire grocery bag FULL of
dirty socks the day after I told you I was going to do
laundry, I may have to burn them. I'm not going to
run an entire load of just your socks, and I don't
want them stinking up my laundry room for a week.

Confession #616

The fact that you stood up to your evil and mean, but rich, mother and her
frog faced husband means the world to me. When you told her that you had a
wife and family and that if she could not treat us with respect and kindness
then "see ya," that made me realize how really great you are. Sorry that we
probably cost you your inheritance and that big hunting trip to Montana.

Every time I have ever really needed you, you have stepped up to the plate.
Thanks for going to counseling with me, thanks for trying so hard, thanks
for loving me, even when I am freaking out. Thanks for always saying your
sorry and making up in front of the kids. I love you more after all these
years.


Confession #617

It's okay that you left me, because now I'm back with
your brother. How do you like that, you asswipe?
That's right, I may have chosen you over him, but that
was a mistake, and I apologize to your brother every
day for going with you instead of him. So go off with
your secretary, or whoever you left me for, I'm much
happier now than I ever was with you anyway.

Confession #618

I'm secretly happy that the dog likes me more than he
likes you. We both know that he's helping to fill the
hole in my heart that infertility has made, and you
don't need that unconditional small animal love like I
do right now.

Confession #619

I don't think you realize how lonely I feel. And I hate you for dragging me into this suburban hell. I want to leave so bad I can taste it. Every day in every way, you seem to make it more and more obvious how alone I am every time you say or do something. We are two completely different people. We have nothing in common, and we can't have one mature conversation. Dinnertime has become an exercise in restraint. All I wanna do is reach across the table and stab you with my fork. I can't even stand to watch you eat anymore. You make me physically ill. Your eyes are totally vacant, no sign of any intelligence whatsoever. Whenever you try to talk to me, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It's only a matter of minutes before we collide and fight. You are an immature moron with no signs of any emotional or intellectual growth ahead. You're just happy to scratch your hairy balls and watch American Chopper or some other brainless bullshit. You don't even have the capacity to put up with 5 minutes of watching something intelligent or different. You like to talk to me like I have no brain. I should've realized how disrespectful you are to people in general, let alone me or my family. Noone liked you from the beginning and it's my fault that I chose to ignore the signs before saying I do. The second you walk in the door from work, the stress and tension level in this house skyrockets. Our 20 month-old can sense something's wrong, and it breaks my heart. He calls out to you as soon as he sees you and you barely give him any notice. Unless I remind you to answer him or say hello to him, you won't know to do so on your own accord. It makes me want to just scoop him up and drive away from you forever. I hate you for that. It's bad enough you disrespect me as a person, but I'm a big girl, I can handle your shit. But when you disregard our son it makes me want rip your dick off. As much as a boy needs his father, he needs to be surrounded by love more. You say you don't want to be like your own unemotional father, but asshole, you ARE your father. And stop making up some bullshit excuses for him just because he served in the war. So what, get over it. A lot of people served back then. A dishtowel has more of a personality than he does. You should have married someone as ignorant and simple-minded as your mother. Sorry, but I don't buy into that old-school Italian mentality bullshit. So get this straight you lowlife: I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I won't act like the helpless, brainless dimwitted female in this house. That's her job. You may be loyal and not have cheated on me as of yet, but G-d forgive me, there are sooo many times I wish you did. Just so I could use it against you forever , go fuck the shit out of the guy I still think about, and leave your stupid hairy ass. Trust me, my ego wouldn't get as bruised as you'd like it get. I don't love you enough to feel that much pain. In fact, I don't think I love you at all. If I ever did, you managed to kill it all away, every day, bit by bit. You don't realize how much loathing for you I have to hold inside. Oh yeah, and by the way, no matter how much you work out, no matter how cut you already are, I wll never find you attractive enough to fuck you. You're still nauseating.

Confession #620

Even though you keep wanting me to do a threesome with you, I will never do it with YOU. I'd rather experience another woman alone and keep my experiences to myself because I have a really strong feeling that she'd probably make me come , whereas you just can't.