Confession #1061
OK~Here's the thing:
I love you so much baby but I swear sometimes you are the neediest man alive. You can't give me 1 hour of peace when I watch Grey's Anatomy because "I need to feel like the most important thing". GIVE ME AN HOUR OF QUIET WITHOUT YOU ASKING ME "WHAT'S THE LAST MOVIE WE WATCHED SO I CAN BUY THE SOUNDTRACK?" CRAP! I swear!!!!!!!!!!! I know you work while I'm finishing my Masters but what is going to happen when I work, too? What do you do for me? Nothing....you work and bring home money, which pays the bills AND I'M GRATEFUL FOR THAT but what do YOU DO for me? When was the last time you cleaned the house for me? When was the last time you cooked supper for me? When was the last time you picked up your shit and put it in the laundry? WHEN???? You can't tell me, can you? You work and come home and EVERYTHING ELSE is taken care of for you!!!! I'm sick of it.
Confession #1062
I enjoy sex more when you shave. You enjoy sex more when I enjoy sex more.
We are both fully aware of this simple equation.
What I don't understand is why it's not motivation enough to make you shave every day. Or at least once a week.
Confession #1063
Do you think I am naive? Hopefully by now you've realized that I most certainly am not. Your friendship is pissing me the fuck off. But I sit back and I keep it bottled up inside because I have guy friends of my own and I can't be a hypocrite, my pride won't let me. Difference between my guy friends and you girl friend - we don't want to fuck each other. Right here is the only place I can set my pride aside and say this friendship of yours is absolute 100% bullshit.
You think I don't notice how giddy the two of you get when you're around one another? I know how you are - you've been the same way with me. I know how she is - because I know HER! You know what else I know? I know you know it bothers me. Yep, you know damn good and well that it hurts, and that's the one thing you promised you would never do. Problem is, I can't tell you these things. I don't know how. So I sit here and type out the words, hoping it will make me feel better. I hope it does, or some day who knows what will happen.
I am asking you to please stop hurting me. If it means you are looking at an ultimatum, so be it. Hurt me now and pick her than allow me to hate you later because you've fucked her. Maybe you already have and I just won't let myself believe it. Wow. Maybe you already have. Holy....shit.
Confession #1064
I love you even though you are married to someone else. I love you even though you're not always nice to me. I love you even though I know the odds are not in our favor. I love you even though you didn't, and won't, choose me. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe, and accept, that after not believing in love, or soul mates that I found both in you but will never get to live out my life as I should. With you. At this point I think that if you are ever free from the obligations of your current life, wherever we both are, we'll end up together. Because as much as you might roll your eyes and be cynical about the prospect of happiness, you know that we belong together. No matter what, I will never be sorry that I met or fell in love with you, because even with the hurt, it has been wonderful to know that I could feel that way again; that I could have that kind of connection. Because of you, I will always believe that love is the answer.
Confession #1065
Why am I fantasizing about my friends?
Confession #1066
There are so many wonderful things about you that I feel a little odd
about bitching about this one, but. . .
It's really getting on my nerves that you make commitments and plans
and just simply tell me about them, rather than checking to see if
maybe I have plans or have something I might need to do. I have to
always check with you about things I want to do without our children,
wonderful though they are, before I plan them to see if you'll be
available. It seems rather unfair and it's starting to piss me off. I
know that your work has "all the time" hours, your job is like that
and I'm fine with that. But going to do extra things without at least
a conversation about it feels more and more like an imposition on me
and the things I might want to do. I end up having to run hither,
thither and yon on my lunch hour and when it takes forever to actually
get to where I can do the things that need or that I want doing, I can
really only do one thing during lunch. And if I don't do it then, I
have to take the kids -- which makes everything take about twice as
long and about 10 times more complicated.
I hope my view of this is simply skewed and it's not really as bad as
it's becoming in my mind.
Confession #1067
I wish it was better, instead of longer.
Confession #1068
You question me about how much money I spend, and yet when I suggest that I get a part time job, you tell me it isn't worth my time.
I'm applying anyway, even knowing you will be pissed, cause I have to do something for me - have MY money, my friends, my world. The world of "YOU" is killing me, in every way. I never would have expected this from you, and it disappoints me.
Confession #1069
When I come home from fucking him the whole afternoon, I don't feel any guilt what so ever.
Confession #1070
When things exploded with him, they exploded. I escaped with the two children, and the relief I felt was similar to that a woman feels when she stops banging her head against a wall. I always had to do it all with him. I was his nanny, maid, accountant, petsitter--you name it. Worn to the bone, I collapsed every night feeling depressed and worthless. And he was always there to remind me of exactly how fat, ugly, and stupid I was. He drank, got stoned, avoided his kids, avoided me as much as he could. I cannot even describe the hell that it was, and I'm not even sure how I managed. I guess having to make sure the kids were ok kept me afloat.
For the longest time, I thought that perhaps he'd get better...I didn't remember him being like that when we married, or even before we had the kids. What happened?
Words echo in my head from my ex-husband...foul things he called me for no reason other than such incidents as me using the automatic ice maker when he rounded the corner on the cordless phone (it made the work answering machine messages he was collecting seem not so clear). I remember when I had given birth to our wonderful son, and four months later I had already managed to get down to 115 lbs as a 5'2" woman...yet he screamed at me until his veins popped out of his head that I was soooo fat. Why did I do it all? Why did I listen? Why did I believe? And then when I told him that I was going to divorce him, I will never forget the first words out of his mouth: "Who will do my laundry?"
After 10 years of marriage, he couldn't even remember what color my eyes were.
And then you came along.
I chased you off. I told you that one bad marriage was enough. I told you I'd never trust again, love again, nor risk anything again. I told you that my children came first, and for God's sake, go the hell back to France and leave me alone.
You went back to France and asked your best friend to be your best man at your wedding because you had met the woman of your dreams.
And for a year you waited, patiently. You tried to help me lug my emotional baggage rather than left me with it. We started to date. You were romantic, sweet, kind. You treated my children as if they were your own. My sister, who has hated every single man I ever dated, loved you to death. My friends asked if they could clone you.
I didn't realize marriage could be any other way than bad. I have heard my friends bitch about their situations, and I know that my own circumstance was not unique. Yet, what you've taught me is that there are good men in the world...and there are good marriages. I just needed to look a little harder.
I get flowers, chocolates, love notes, nightly massages...you walk in the house and immediately decide to take out the trash, mop, and vacuum. When both kids need something at the same time, you grab one, knowing that I'll take care of the other. My children call you daddy, and they prefer being with you than their own father. You have a good heart, and you are always patient and kind when I have to deal with my ex. When I decide to use my time to help another, you jump right in and help the other person too. If all French men were like you, I'd make all my single girlfriends buy tickets to Paris! You help me, you love me, and you are the least selfish person I know.
Thank you for showing me that not all husbands are selfish and mean. Thank you for showing me what love really is...and most importantly, thank you for showing my kids EXACTLY what they too deserve in a relationship one day.
Je t'aime...
Monday, October 30, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
True Wife Confessions 106 degrees of Seperation
Confession #1051
When you hugged me last night and told me you would take care of everything and not to worry, I fell more in love with you. I needed you to be my hero then. Thank you.
Confession #1052
We're young I know but we have a 2 year old and we need to make this work. You woke me up at 3 am the other day yelling at me because there was a pack of gum on the desk with 2 pieces missing so somebody must have been here. Your looking for signs that I'm cheating but you won't find any i've haven't been with another person in the last 3 1/2 years we've been together. Most men would be happy to know there not being cheated on but you've made mistakes in the past (and I've forgave u) but you think i can never be better at anything then you but i am, I'm better at being faithful. I love you still and hope we can work through this but if not I'll find someone else that loves our son and can appreciate me.
Confession #1053
Get this straight. Cyber flirting with another woman is no more acceptable
to me than real life flirting. Calling another woman pet names is disloyal
to me. Telling another woman you wish she was here with you (even though
you've never met her) is a betrayal. Not rebutting another woman's advances,
in order to massage your ego, is disloyal to me. This has hurt me beyond
belief and I will never forget it or forgive you. You can never make it up
to me.
Confession #1054
There is snow on the ground and the furnace stopped working last night. I managed to fix it, all by myself. Not once did I wish for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and care of the problem. Dumping your lazy @ss is the best thing I've ever done.
Confession #1055
Honey -
I do not love my job. I do not love the things I have to do during the day that I don't particularly enjoy. I do not love having to get up in the morning earlier than is necessarily fair to the human body. I don't really love not being able to do all the things in the evening that I want to. But at the end of a particularly hard day, at the end of a particularly long week or even after a few hours of icky chores, I love coming home to you. I love that you're always there for me when I get home with a hug and a kiss on my forehead (something else I love) I love that you are responsible enough (occasionally) to clean the kitchen when you know I don't want to ... even if it takes a few days. I love that every now and then you let me just sit and rest and relax and take care of everything. I love that you made me buffalo shrimp and didn't stop until you almost burnt the house down and got it right. Luckily, nothing but the first batch was truly burnt. I love sharing the kitchen with you when we cook something together. I love the way we tease each other and know that it doesn't really mean anything. It's just our way of showing how much we love each other. I love that you love me that much. I love that you love me enough to make sacrifices, the ones I know about and the ones I don't. I love you enough to put up with you when you're being a complete ass, particularly because you love me enough to put up with me when I'm being a complete ass. I love that you understand how hard it is for me to move to Maryland and away from all of my friends and my family, and my Dad (which is really the most difficult part). I love that you understand my close relationship with him. Thank you for everything that you do for me. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm crazy, and juvenile, and anal-retentive and just plain mean. I love you very much, and the most selfish and wonderful thing I've ever done for myself was marry such an amazing man. Happy Love Thursday.
Confession #1056
I know I told you that your beloved black pepper mill fell off the counter and broke. It didn't - I threw that fucker in the trash! I was so sick of you putting a coating of cracked black pepper on every dinner you made. I hated that I had to rinse the cooked chicken and steak off before the girls and I could eat it. Pepper on your lasagna?? Who does that? You like black pepper. We don't! How many times can I tell you to pepper your own dinner and not ours????? Seriously, I think you do just do it to piss me off. It is one button you know how to push.
If you are wondering - the red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper - they are in the trash too. I will just keep on "forgetting" to get them when I go grocery shopping.
Confession #1057
So, you want to know why I cheated
He spoiled me from day one, with simple little things,
Opening the door for me, telling me I looked nice, that I was beautiful.
Things that you never did. And he is willing to give me the moon and stars, no questions asked. If I tell you I need new shoe, you ask why?
Confession #1058
Why the FUCK does your male friend sign his e-mails, "Love, ****"? What the FUCK is that all about? Let me find out that you so much as LOOKED at another man and you are HISTORY, you erectile dysfunctioning, premature ejaculating, non-sex initiating &^%$#@.
Confession #1059
I know where the "mysterious dent" came from on the car door. I bumped another car parking. I just don't want to hear the bull shit about my driving or any thing else. So I will keep my mouth shut and let you think that it was a parking lot accident. Cause you know what? It isn't worth the ammunition that it will become for later fights.
Confession #1060
Who the hell do you think you are leaving me a note on my day off to
"clean the house".
Yes, I know you work full time and I work part time. I also go to
school and I do take care of the house. Do you think your clothes
magically clean themselves and put themselves away? Do you think that
I push a magic button and dinner appears each night? Not to mention
all the other million little things I do to make this house a home
and take care of our kids.
You don't like the way the house looks? Clean up after yourself.
Don't be an ass and announce that you are going to clean up and throw
away anything that is not in it's place. If I did that to you, your
only possession would be your toothbrush.
You never even lifted a finger for the 14 months you were out of
work. You 'networked' and had 'business lunches' and found so many
other things to do except pick up after yourself. Don't think that I
didn't notice during your unemployment period that you found time to
have lunch with everyone under the sun, yet each time I asked you,
you were too busy.
By the way, I am going to school to get a degree so that I can
qualify for a decent paying job and be rid of you. You were the one
who insisted I be a SAHM, yet the moment our first child was born and
I quit working, you treated me like a useless burden who didn't
contribute to the family.
When you hugged me last night and told me you would take care of everything and not to worry, I fell more in love with you. I needed you to be my hero then. Thank you.
Confession #1052
We're young I know but we have a 2 year old and we need to make this work. You woke me up at 3 am the other day yelling at me because there was a pack of gum on the desk with 2 pieces missing so somebody must have been here. Your looking for signs that I'm cheating but you won't find any i've haven't been with another person in the last 3 1/2 years we've been together. Most men would be happy to know there not being cheated on but you've made mistakes in the past (and I've forgave u) but you think i can never be better at anything then you but i am, I'm better at being faithful. I love you still and hope we can work through this but if not I'll find someone else that loves our son and can appreciate me.
Confession #1053
Get this straight. Cyber flirting with another woman is no more acceptable
to me than real life flirting. Calling another woman pet names is disloyal
to me. Telling another woman you wish she was here with you (even though
you've never met her) is a betrayal. Not rebutting another woman's advances,
in order to massage your ego, is disloyal to me. This has hurt me beyond
belief and I will never forget it or forgive you. You can never make it up
to me.
Confession #1054
There is snow on the ground and the furnace stopped working last night. I managed to fix it, all by myself. Not once did I wish for a knight in shining armor to swoop in and care of the problem. Dumping your lazy @ss is the best thing I've ever done.
Confession #1055
Honey -
I do not love my job. I do not love the things I have to do during the day that I don't particularly enjoy. I do not love having to get up in the morning earlier than is necessarily fair to the human body. I don't really love not being able to do all the things in the evening that I want to. But at the end of a particularly hard day, at the end of a particularly long week or even after a few hours of icky chores, I love coming home to you. I love that you're always there for me when I get home with a hug and a kiss on my forehead (something else I love) I love that you are responsible enough (occasionally) to clean the kitchen when you know I don't want to ... even if it takes a few days. I love that every now and then you let me just sit and rest and relax and take care of everything. I love that you made me buffalo shrimp and didn't stop until you almost burnt the house down and got it right. Luckily, nothing but the first batch was truly burnt. I love sharing the kitchen with you when we cook something together. I love the way we tease each other and know that it doesn't really mean anything. It's just our way of showing how much we love each other. I love that you love me that much. I love that you love me enough to make sacrifices, the ones I know about and the ones I don't. I love you enough to put up with you when you're being a complete ass, particularly because you love me enough to put up with me when I'm being a complete ass. I love that you understand how hard it is for me to move to Maryland and away from all of my friends and my family, and my Dad (which is really the most difficult part). I love that you understand my close relationship with him. Thank you for everything that you do for me. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm crazy, and juvenile, and anal-retentive and just plain mean. I love you very much, and the most selfish and wonderful thing I've ever done for myself was marry such an amazing man. Happy Love Thursday.
Confession #1056
I know I told you that your beloved black pepper mill fell off the counter and broke. It didn't - I threw that fucker in the trash! I was so sick of you putting a coating of cracked black pepper on every dinner you made. I hated that I had to rinse the cooked chicken and steak off before the girls and I could eat it. Pepper on your lasagna?? Who does that? You like black pepper. We don't! How many times can I tell you to pepper your own dinner and not ours????? Seriously, I think you do just do it to piss me off. It is one button you know how to push.
If you are wondering - the red pepper flakes and cayenne pepper - they are in the trash too. I will just keep on "forgetting" to get them when I go grocery shopping.
Confession #1057
So, you want to know why I cheated
He spoiled me from day one, with simple little things,
Opening the door for me, telling me I looked nice, that I was beautiful.
Things that you never did. And he is willing to give me the moon and stars, no questions asked. If I tell you I need new shoe, you ask why?
Confession #1058
Why the FUCK does your male friend sign his e-mails, "Love, ****"? What the FUCK is that all about? Let me find out that you so much as LOOKED at another man and you are HISTORY, you erectile dysfunctioning, premature ejaculating, non-sex initiating &^%$#@.
Confession #1059
I know where the "mysterious dent" came from on the car door. I bumped another car parking. I just don't want to hear the bull shit about my driving or any thing else. So I will keep my mouth shut and let you think that it was a parking lot accident. Cause you know what? It isn't worth the ammunition that it will become for later fights.
Confession #1060
Who the hell do you think you are leaving me a note on my day off to
"clean the house".
Yes, I know you work full time and I work part time. I also go to
school and I do take care of the house. Do you think your clothes
magically clean themselves and put themselves away? Do you think that
I push a magic button and dinner appears each night? Not to mention
all the other million little things I do to make this house a home
and take care of our kids.
You don't like the way the house looks? Clean up after yourself.
Don't be an ass and announce that you are going to clean up and throw
away anything that is not in it's place. If I did that to you, your
only possession would be your toothbrush.
You never even lifted a finger for the 14 months you were out of
work. You 'networked' and had 'business lunches' and found so many
other things to do except pick up after yourself. Don't think that I
didn't notice during your unemployment period that you found time to
have lunch with everyone under the sun, yet each time I asked you,
you were too busy.
By the way, I am going to school to get a degree so that I can
qualify for a decent paying job and be rid of you. You were the one
who insisted I be a SAHM, yet the moment our first child was born and
I quit working, you treated me like a useless burden who didn't
contribute to the family.
Friday, October 27, 2006
True Wife Confessions 105 Works of Man Ray
Confession #1041
There is a group of us... we call ourselves the Secret Widows. There's more of us than you'd think... and that is what is so very sad about it. Beneath the facades of happy marriage lies these rotten truths.
We hate you, but it's a quiet, sort of patient hatred.
We all used to love you, our husbands. We thought you were different from "typical" men. We thought you loved us. What a joke it all turned out to be. You took all of the promises and turned them into betrayals. You took our faithfulness and turned to other women. You have lied and cheated and broken us too many times now...
it's our turn to lie.
We still smile and say all of the right thing. We still pretend to listen when you talk. We go on in our lives as if we have forgiven and forgotten.
But we haven't.
Each of us, we secret widows, is just waiting for (counting on) you to die first.
The we'll be free.
We will act sad.
Maybe even shed a tear.
only the rest of us will know the truth.
We can wait.... and keep ourselves very, very healthy.
Confession #1042
Honey I love you with all of my heart. You mean more to me than any man
ever has and I treasure you....
That being said, contrary to my attempts at feigning cluelessness, I DO
know/notice when another man is checking me out or when he's flirting
with me. I would NEVER cheat on you and I would never disrespect you by
flirting back. While I don't overtly encourage it, I don't mind the
attention and I actually like it and I know exactly why:
1. Deep down I am desperately insecure and though you are great about
giving my compliments, affection and attention, it flatters me when
other men find me attractive.
AND
2. I don't think it hurts for you to know that there are other men
interested in me because you've hurt me before and what's wrong with
you knowing there are other men that would trade places with you in a
heartbeat?
Confession #1043
Darling,
Why is it I've given you hundreds of blowjobs and have gotten nothing in
return? You go down on me but then always stick it in. You always get
something. Why can't you go down on me, make me orgasm and then not get
anything in return? Why is sex always about you or us? Why can't it be, for
once, just about me?
Oh, and when you do go down on me, for fuck sake! Quit acting like I'm
pulling your teeth! Remember when you told me that it's about the attitude
when a woman gives a blow job? How it's sexy when she's into it and enjoying
it? Take your own advice. It is NOT a turn on to look down and see you're
completely bored and knowing you can't wait for it to be over.
Confession #1044
Because I love you, I want to warn you I'm going to blame you for us not having children.We've talked about this too many times already. You keep saying we need to wait until we're "financially stable", whatever that means, on your salary and mine. Too bad I don't want to keep waiting because what we have is enough for at least one child. The funny thing is that my body can't wait forever. Neither can yours. I think you'll end up blaming me anyway for not making enough money. It's too bad that I've resigned myself that this day, when we will start trying to have children will never happen, at least not with you. That's my biggest regret of our marriage.
Confession #1045
I have to confess -- I actually don't care if you have an affair. In reality, I would be thrilled if you did, because then we could get a divorce and end this farce of a marriage. I'm not interested in having an affair myself, because, well, I *did* that with you, and look how that's turned around to bite me in the butt. So no more affairs for me. But please -- go ahead and have one yourself. It would be a relief for me.
Confession #1046
Yes, I still read this site every day. Now I'm about to make my first confession and I hope you read it. Here it goes...I still love you. Maybe even more today than I did yesterday.
You made a stupid mistake. You admitted it, and that should have been the end of it. I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there that would have taken it in stride. True, I KNOW you didn't cheat on me, and I KNOW things were different then, and I know you lied to me because you didn't want me to think differently about you. But because of people in my past, I have a hard time trusting people. I'm working through that...and it's because of you. You've let me see that not everybody is as bad as they seem at first, and that it is ok to trust somebody else with my heart. I don't have to be on guard with you, and I never look for hidden meaning behind what you say. Nothing, not even your "confession" has changed that. I just needed time for myself to think about it and deal with it in my own terms.
I know we're not perfect, and I know there's plenty of time to make more mistakes, but you live you learn. Right?
I love you and yes, I still read this site and feel glad that among infinite number of jerks out there- - I got one of the good ones. That brings me to confession number 2-I'm impressed that you've had that new hamper for nearly a week and you've STILL been good about putting your dirty clothes in it.
The apartment is coming along nicely. I can't believe how much effort you've put in so far to make it into "our" home. I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life and in our relationship.
And just so you know this confession IS for you - - -FNA ;-)
Confession #1047
If I find one more paper fast food cup sitting next to the sink, as if you’re going to wash it and re-use it until the end of time, I’m going tie you down and make you eat it! You’re a fricking mechanical engineer with years of higher education. Use your head for Christ sakes. A retarded monkey would know that it takes just as much energy to walk that cup to the kitchen sink, as it does to walk it to the kitchen garbage! I’m your wife, the mother of your kids, and work full time. I don’t have it in me to be your garbage man to.
Confession #1048
Not everyone is as perfect as you. I know you don't have Issues. I know you never go to a party and drink too much and start to cry. I know you are not insecure and don't need to be reminded that there's a good reason to be with you. But I do, and I am. And I'm sorry about that, but if you keep saying you don't want to break up with me and you mean it, you'll need to accept that sometimes I'm fucked up. I warned you.
Confession #1049
When we talk on the phone, is it too much to expect your attention? I can hear you clicking away on the keyboard, and those gaps where I am expecting a response and you don't say anything let me know that you aren't listening.
This kind of behavior tells me that you don't care about me, that you are selfish, that you aren't interested. Is that what you are trying to say?
Confession #1050
I love you, but I'm not sure I want to marry you. We live well
together, but I don't think we'll make it for the long haul. I'm
already so sick of fighting with you about helping with the housework,
and asking you to please not come up and hump me from behind every time
I bend over to clean the cat's litterbox or empty the dishwasher. I
don't want to end up like my parents; I don't ever want to hate you.
And I think if we get married, we might end up hating each other. I'm
so afraid of that, but I don't want to lose you.
There is a group of us... we call ourselves the Secret Widows. There's more of us than you'd think... and that is what is so very sad about it. Beneath the facades of happy marriage lies these rotten truths.
We hate you, but it's a quiet, sort of patient hatred.
We all used to love you, our husbands. We thought you were different from "typical" men. We thought you loved us. What a joke it all turned out to be. You took all of the promises and turned them into betrayals. You took our faithfulness and turned to other women. You have lied and cheated and broken us too many times now...
it's our turn to lie.
We still smile and say all of the right thing. We still pretend to listen when you talk. We go on in our lives as if we have forgiven and forgotten.
But we haven't.
Each of us, we secret widows, is just waiting for (counting on) you to die first.
The we'll be free.
We will act sad.
Maybe even shed a tear.
only the rest of us will know the truth.
We can wait.... and keep ourselves very, very healthy.
Confession #1042
Honey I love you with all of my heart. You mean more to me than any man
ever has and I treasure you....
That being said, contrary to my attempts at feigning cluelessness, I DO
know/notice when another man is checking me out or when he's flirting
with me. I would NEVER cheat on you and I would never disrespect you by
flirting back. While I don't overtly encourage it, I don't mind the
attention and I actually like it and I know exactly why:
1. Deep down I am desperately insecure and though you are great about
giving my compliments, affection and attention, it flatters me when
other men find me attractive.
AND
2. I don't think it hurts for you to know that there are other men
interested in me because you've hurt me before and what's wrong with
you knowing there are other men that would trade places with you in a
heartbeat?
Confession #1043
Darling,
Why is it I've given you hundreds of blowjobs and have gotten nothing in
return? You go down on me but then always stick it in. You always get
something. Why can't you go down on me, make me orgasm and then not get
anything in return? Why is sex always about you or us? Why can't it be, for
once, just about me?
Oh, and when you do go down on me, for fuck sake! Quit acting like I'm
pulling your teeth! Remember when you told me that it's about the attitude
when a woman gives a blow job? How it's sexy when she's into it and enjoying
it? Take your own advice. It is NOT a turn on to look down and see you're
completely bored and knowing you can't wait for it to be over.
Confession #1044
Because I love you, I want to warn you I'm going to blame you for us not having children.We've talked about this too many times already. You keep saying we need to wait until we're "financially stable", whatever that means, on your salary and mine. Too bad I don't want to keep waiting because what we have is enough for at least one child. The funny thing is that my body can't wait forever. Neither can yours. I think you'll end up blaming me anyway for not making enough money. It's too bad that I've resigned myself that this day, when we will start trying to have children will never happen, at least not with you. That's my biggest regret of our marriage.
Confession #1045
I have to confess -- I actually don't care if you have an affair. In reality, I would be thrilled if you did, because then we could get a divorce and end this farce of a marriage. I'm not interested in having an affair myself, because, well, I *did* that with you, and look how that's turned around to bite me in the butt. So no more affairs for me. But please -- go ahead and have one yourself. It would be a relief for me.
Confession #1046
Yes, I still read this site every day. Now I'm about to make my first confession and I hope you read it. Here it goes...I still love you. Maybe even more today than I did yesterday.
You made a stupid mistake. You admitted it, and that should have been the end of it. I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there that would have taken it in stride. True, I KNOW you didn't cheat on me, and I KNOW things were different then, and I know you lied to me because you didn't want me to think differently about you. But because of people in my past, I have a hard time trusting people. I'm working through that...and it's because of you. You've let me see that not everybody is as bad as they seem at first, and that it is ok to trust somebody else with my heart. I don't have to be on guard with you, and I never look for hidden meaning behind what you say. Nothing, not even your "confession" has changed that. I just needed time for myself to think about it and deal with it in my own terms.
I know we're not perfect, and I know there's plenty of time to make more mistakes, but you live you learn. Right?
I love you and yes, I still read this site and feel glad that among infinite number of jerks out there- - I got one of the good ones. That brings me to confession number 2-I'm impressed that you've had that new hamper for nearly a week and you've STILL been good about putting your dirty clothes in it.
The apartment is coming along nicely. I can't believe how much effort you've put in so far to make it into "our" home. I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter in my life and in our relationship.
And just so you know this confession IS for you - - -FNA ;-)
Confession #1047
If I find one more paper fast food cup sitting next to the sink, as if you’re going to wash it and re-use it until the end of time, I’m going tie you down and make you eat it! You’re a fricking mechanical engineer with years of higher education. Use your head for Christ sakes. A retarded monkey would know that it takes just as much energy to walk that cup to the kitchen sink, as it does to walk it to the kitchen garbage! I’m your wife, the mother of your kids, and work full time. I don’t have it in me to be your garbage man to.
Confession #1048
Not everyone is as perfect as you. I know you don't have Issues. I know you never go to a party and drink too much and start to cry. I know you are not insecure and don't need to be reminded that there's a good reason to be with you. But I do, and I am. And I'm sorry about that, but if you keep saying you don't want to break up with me and you mean it, you'll need to accept that sometimes I'm fucked up. I warned you.
Confession #1049
When we talk on the phone, is it too much to expect your attention? I can hear you clicking away on the keyboard, and those gaps where I am expecting a response and you don't say anything let me know that you aren't listening.
This kind of behavior tells me that you don't care about me, that you are selfish, that you aren't interested. Is that what you are trying to say?
Confession #1050
I love you, but I'm not sure I want to marry you. We live well
together, but I don't think we'll make it for the long haul. I'm
already so sick of fighting with you about helping with the housework,
and asking you to please not come up and hump me from behind every time
I bend over to clean the cat's litterbox or empty the dishwasher. I
don't want to end up like my parents; I don't ever want to hate you.
And I think if we get married, we might end up hating each other. I'm
so afraid of that, but I don't want to lose you.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
True Wife Confessions 104 Peugeot
Confession #1031
Please stop straining yourself just to squeeze out a nasty fart in my presence. It is so annoying and rude. I am not nor was I ever impressed. Other than that you are a keeper.
Confession #1032
Hey,
I love you. I love you every second of the day. I think you are the
best thing that ever happened to me. But I wish you would show me how you
feel about me. Don't just assume that I always know - because I don't. I
wonder all the time. Sometimes a girl just needs to hear it.
Confession #1033
Honey, I realize that going bald at 25 cannot be easy for you. But please, please, enough with the comb over. You are not fooling anyone and it only makes you look ridiculous. I tried to point this out to you and you got too defensive. Trust me, baldness does not look all that bad on you. At least, it looks a hell of a lot better than that damn comb over.
Confession #1034
When you stay out all night drinking with your
brother-in-law, I let the dog sleep on your pillow.
The fact that you hate the dog makes it that much
sweeter.
Confession #1035
It is not my responsibility to police your diet. You need to be a big boy and watch what you eat. You are now diabetic and therefore there are foods that can make you really sick if you eat them. If you have a death wish, continue to drink the soda, eat the sugary cereal, and load up on all the things you know you should not have. I will enjoy the life insurance money. The rest of the people in the house do not have any dietary restrictions and should not be expected to adhere to the same diet. You as a nearly 40 year old adult should have enough self control to not eat your son's cereal or to buy a doughnut at the convenience store on your way to work. If you end up in the hospital again, do not expect much sympathy from me. You have to be in control of you, I can't do it nor should I be expected to.
Confession #1036
Stop talking to me like shit in front of other people. Why do you keep doing this? I am so sick of being berated in front of our friends and our family...you patronizing fuckwit. I used to think that answering you back and defending myself was better than keeping quiet, because I didn't want people to think that I was a push-over. But, now I just keep quiet because I don't want to make a scene...so I sit there and let you talk me me like a child.
People notice. They have said it to me. Even YOUR friends. They think you are rude and obnoxious. Perhaps if you stopped drinking so much when we socialize you wouldn't act like that. But, I don't think it is even the alcohol anymore - I think it is just you. You like to feel like the 'big man' - and treating your wife like an idiot apparently makes you one.
I can't believe you refuse to even acknowledge your behaviour the next day when you are sober. You fucking bastard. You think you are so fucking great don't you.
Confession #1037
I love you with my whole heart. You are the best thing ever. I don't deserve you!!! However, when you are gone, I really really enjoy having the bed all to myself. No snoring!!!! Baby, it is AWESOME!
Confession #1038
I live in fear everyday that something is going to slip and I'll find out you've gone back to looking at dirty pictures online at work and posting your profile on personal sites...or that you've "pretended" you wanted to meet someone so they would send you their nasty, naked pictures. I'm still not 100% sure that was true about it all being a ruse, but I do so want it to be the truth. I love you with all my heart and soul. I have trouble breathing when I think of you and I not being together or something happening to you. But I won't allow you to cheat on me whether it's emotionally or physically. I forgave you once and told you that if I ever found out it was happening again we were through. We've had a child since then but that promise still stands. I will not allow that in my life. I CAN make it on my own, but trust that it will cost you both monetary and mentally because it's not something I will 'play nice' about. Pornographic material is not okay with me and considering I'm more than open to just about anything you'd want to do, I don't see why you should need it. If you do "need it" than maybe that's something you should have treated through therapy or something. I offered to go with you or just support you if you went but you came up with all sorts of excuses. I've taken the password lock off the computer and our email account and only spy on your email account every so often, but something inside of me tells me it's not over. That you're lying to me again and cheating on my trust. I have never been anything but faithful to you and want little more than to make you happy and provide a good and happy home life for our children. That takes both of us. It will kill something inside of me if I find out I've been living a lie. Please, please tell me you're not trolling again...
Confession #1039
I know the reasons we can't be together. But so help me God, I love you -
and *want* you - so much. We've been good friends for over half a decade,
and it was three and a half years before I realised how I *really* felt
about you. I should have known - I always felt guilty when we hugged just
that little bit too long. Then I was obsessed with whether you felt the same
way about me. When I found out ten months later (in spectacular fashion)
that you *did*, I couldn't have been happier, no matter how difficult things
were.
We've always been able to talk about anything, but when we first kissed,
when you first really put your arms around me, I felt like I'd come home.
The sexual attraction was - and is - so incredibly strong, it just floored
me, and does even now. I know when you're around before you clear your
throat in that distinctive way of yours, and when our eyes first meet, it's
like an electric shock and my heart does flip flops. When you lean down to
kiss me on the cheek, your spicy cologne and deep, sexy voice make me weak
at the knees. Just sitting next you with my arm against yours ever so
lightly is an incredibly erotic experience. Basically, when I'm around you,
I'm within *centimetres* of ripping your clothes off most of the time.
And what's even more amazing is that while I'm within centimetres of having
my wicked way with you, I just love talking to you about anything and
everything - whether it's technology or philosophy or raunchy jokes. I'm
just happy being with you, every precious moment we have on our own. And
when we...slip, and our lips end up together, or our hands or naked bodies
entwined - I treasure every second and tuck away the memories to live them
over again.
And when we're not together physically - sometimes, I wish we could ... be
naughty via our chosen mode of communication - whether it involves your
gorgeous voice or not. But you're more controlled than I am.
You don't know how much I wish we'd met just two years earlier.
You think that I'm blind - but I know your faults and your darkness, and I
love all of you.
And you don't know that even though I say it's ok, so that you're fine and
feel supported, a lot of times it just aches constantly, and I cry myself to
sleep sometimes.
But I'll always be here.
Confession #1040
(Dawns note: Yes, this is a REAL confession - I verified it with the author)
I met a man in a bar one day, all I wanted was a one night stand of unabashed, hot, nasty, drunken sex with a stranger, I’ve never done that before and now I was in the unique position to do so. We met, we did the deed, I kicked him out in the morning, he said I’ll call you, I said no thanks, this was what it was, he said, okay you call me then.
I called, we met again, it was even better than the last time, we literally went for hours, hot, nasty, naughty sweaty, earth shattering, multiple climaxing, sex. Good lord, what had I gotten myself into.
The third time we met, we actually talked (after more hours of the same as before). We were having a cigarette, I don’t even smoke, but it seemed appropriate. He told me “my ex wife works for so & so”, I said really? What a coincidence my ex husband works for “so & so” too. I asked “her name doesn’t happen to be Jane Doe does it?” He looked at me, “yes, why do you know her”? I was stunned, I turned visibly pale he said. I ran to the bathroom to throw up, laugh, cry, I thought I was going to pass out.
You see, a year ago, my quiet unassuming, wonderful husband of 24 years, came home and announced I’m in love with “Jane Doe” at my work, I’m leaving you for her, it was complete and utter shock, I was not expecting it at all, we were not fighting, he still told me he loved me, we still made love. I filed for divorce, got a good attorney, some good counseling to keep me sane, and we went our separate ways.
Now here I was, with this man, this man who literally rocked my world for the last 3 days and he just happens to be the ex husband of the woman my husband left me for and is currently living with, what the hell happened, how was it that we met, were the stars misaligned? Did God have his back turned? How is it that of all the man I could have picked up on, it just happened to be him??? What are the odds?
He stayed quiet for a bit, then gathered me in his arms, threw his head back and laughed, “I guess I’m going to have to do you better from now on…………
Please stop straining yourself just to squeeze out a nasty fart in my presence. It is so annoying and rude. I am not nor was I ever impressed. Other than that you are a keeper.
Confession #1032
Hey,
I love you. I love you every second of the day. I think you are the
best thing that ever happened to me. But I wish you would show me how you
feel about me. Don't just assume that I always know - because I don't. I
wonder all the time. Sometimes a girl just needs to hear it.
Confession #1033
Honey, I realize that going bald at 25 cannot be easy for you. But please, please, enough with the comb over. You are not fooling anyone and it only makes you look ridiculous. I tried to point this out to you and you got too defensive. Trust me, baldness does not look all that bad on you. At least, it looks a hell of a lot better than that damn comb over.
Confession #1034
When you stay out all night drinking with your
brother-in-law, I let the dog sleep on your pillow.
The fact that you hate the dog makes it that much
sweeter.
Confession #1035
It is not my responsibility to police your diet. You need to be a big boy and watch what you eat. You are now diabetic and therefore there are foods that can make you really sick if you eat them. If you have a death wish, continue to drink the soda, eat the sugary cereal, and load up on all the things you know you should not have. I will enjoy the life insurance money. The rest of the people in the house do not have any dietary restrictions and should not be expected to adhere to the same diet. You as a nearly 40 year old adult should have enough self control to not eat your son's cereal or to buy a doughnut at the convenience store on your way to work. If you end up in the hospital again, do not expect much sympathy from me. You have to be in control of you, I can't do it nor should I be expected to.
Confession #1036
Stop talking to me like shit in front of other people. Why do you keep doing this? I am so sick of being berated in front of our friends and our family...you patronizing fuckwit. I used to think that answering you back and defending myself was better than keeping quiet, because I didn't want people to think that I was a push-over. But, now I just keep quiet because I don't want to make a scene...so I sit there and let you talk me me like a child.
People notice. They have said it to me. Even YOUR friends. They think you are rude and obnoxious. Perhaps if you stopped drinking so much when we socialize you wouldn't act like that. But, I don't think it is even the alcohol anymore - I think it is just you. You like to feel like the 'big man' - and treating your wife like an idiot apparently makes you one.
I can't believe you refuse to even acknowledge your behaviour the next day when you are sober. You fucking bastard. You think you are so fucking great don't you.
Confession #1037
I love you with my whole heart. You are the best thing ever. I don't deserve you!!! However, when you are gone, I really really enjoy having the bed all to myself. No snoring!!!! Baby, it is AWESOME!
Confession #1038
I live in fear everyday that something is going to slip and I'll find out you've gone back to looking at dirty pictures online at work and posting your profile on personal sites...or that you've "pretended" you wanted to meet someone so they would send you their nasty, naked pictures. I'm still not 100% sure that was true about it all being a ruse, but I do so want it to be the truth. I love you with all my heart and soul. I have trouble breathing when I think of you and I not being together or something happening to you. But I won't allow you to cheat on me whether it's emotionally or physically. I forgave you once and told you that if I ever found out it was happening again we were through. We've had a child since then but that promise still stands. I will not allow that in my life. I CAN make it on my own, but trust that it will cost you both monetary and mentally because it's not something I will 'play nice' about. Pornographic material is not okay with me and considering I'm more than open to just about anything you'd want to do, I don't see why you should need it. If you do "need it" than maybe that's something you should have treated through therapy or something. I offered to go with you or just support you if you went but you came up with all sorts of excuses. I've taken the password lock off the computer and our email account and only spy on your email account every so often, but something inside of me tells me it's not over. That you're lying to me again and cheating on my trust. I have never been anything but faithful to you and want little more than to make you happy and provide a good and happy home life for our children. That takes both of us. It will kill something inside of me if I find out I've been living a lie. Please, please tell me you're not trolling again...
Confession #1039
I know the reasons we can't be together. But so help me God, I love you -
and *want* you - so much. We've been good friends for over half a decade,
and it was three and a half years before I realised how I *really* felt
about you. I should have known - I always felt guilty when we hugged just
that little bit too long. Then I was obsessed with whether you felt the same
way about me. When I found out ten months later (in spectacular fashion)
that you *did*, I couldn't have been happier, no matter how difficult things
were.
We've always been able to talk about anything, but when we first kissed,
when you first really put your arms around me, I felt like I'd come home.
The sexual attraction was - and is - so incredibly strong, it just floored
me, and does even now. I know when you're around before you clear your
throat in that distinctive way of yours, and when our eyes first meet, it's
like an electric shock and my heart does flip flops. When you lean down to
kiss me on the cheek, your spicy cologne and deep, sexy voice make me weak
at the knees. Just sitting next you with my arm against yours ever so
lightly is an incredibly erotic experience. Basically, when I'm around you,
I'm within *centimetres* of ripping your clothes off most of the time.
And what's even more amazing is that while I'm within centimetres of having
my wicked way with you, I just love talking to you about anything and
everything - whether it's technology or philosophy or raunchy jokes. I'm
just happy being with you, every precious moment we have on our own. And
when we...slip, and our lips end up together, or our hands or naked bodies
entwined - I treasure every second and tuck away the memories to live them
over again.
And when we're not together physically - sometimes, I wish we could ... be
naughty via our chosen mode of communication - whether it involves your
gorgeous voice or not. But you're more controlled than I am.
You don't know how much I wish we'd met just two years earlier.
You think that I'm blind - but I know your faults and your darkness, and I
love all of you.
And you don't know that even though I say it's ok, so that you're fine and
feel supported, a lot of times it just aches constantly, and I cry myself to
sleep sometimes.
But I'll always be here.
Confession #1040
(Dawns note: Yes, this is a REAL confession - I verified it with the author)
I met a man in a bar one day, all I wanted was a one night stand of unabashed, hot, nasty, drunken sex with a stranger, I’ve never done that before and now I was in the unique position to do so. We met, we did the deed, I kicked him out in the morning, he said I’ll call you, I said no thanks, this was what it was, he said, okay you call me then.
I called, we met again, it was even better than the last time, we literally went for hours, hot, nasty, naughty sweaty, earth shattering, multiple climaxing, sex. Good lord, what had I gotten myself into.
The third time we met, we actually talked (after more hours of the same as before). We were having a cigarette, I don’t even smoke, but it seemed appropriate. He told me “my ex wife works for so & so”, I said really? What a coincidence my ex husband works for “so & so” too. I asked “her name doesn’t happen to be Jane Doe does it?” He looked at me, “yes, why do you know her”? I was stunned, I turned visibly pale he said. I ran to the bathroom to throw up, laugh, cry, I thought I was going to pass out.
You see, a year ago, my quiet unassuming, wonderful husband of 24 years, came home and announced I’m in love with “Jane Doe” at my work, I’m leaving you for her, it was complete and utter shock, I was not expecting it at all, we were not fighting, he still told me he loved me, we still made love. I filed for divorce, got a good attorney, some good counseling to keep me sane, and we went our separate ways.
Now here I was, with this man, this man who literally rocked my world for the last 3 days and he just happens to be the ex husband of the woman my husband left me for and is currently living with, what the hell happened, how was it that we met, were the stars misaligned? Did God have his back turned? How is it that of all the man I could have picked up on, it just happened to be him??? What are the odds?
He stayed quiet for a bit, then gathered me in his arms, threw his head back and laughed, “I guess I’m going to have to do you better from now on…………
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
True Wife Confessions 103 Species of Crows
Confession #1021
I love you. I really, honestly, truly do. But . . .
The love I feel for you is no where near as strong as the love I feel for me ex. He and I started talking again. And if I'm given the chance, I will leave you for him.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair to you.
Confession #1022
If we all get sick with the same cold, how come you always, and I mean every
single time, get it the worst? For years I thought you were just sickly,
but now I think it's in your head. I got a cold and still took care of the
kids all through the night, leaving me with two hours of sleep, still went
to work the next day, hoping to come home to a nap only to have you hand
over the kids and go take one yourself? Because the full night's rest plus
two naps wasn't enough. And now, instead of sleep, I get to watch the kids
so you can do everything you didn't do while you were asleep? I was sick,
too, asshole. I can't help but think that you are just a big, lazy baby.
Suck it up.
Confession #1023
Hubby,
I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.
Confession #1024
I wish you were more ambitious. You are a great
father and husband, but I wish it was as
important to you as it is to me to build a secure
future for us and our children.
Confession #1025
When you fart in my close proximity it TOTALLY turns me off. Think before you fart, I would hate for you to injure yourself trying to squeeze one out just to piss me off. Other than that and the pissing on the floor in the bathroom, you are a keeper.
Confession #1026
I hate you.
I hate you more NOW than I did when I was married to you.
The only reason you are keeping us apart is because we are so much alike and you know it.
You are afraid that I might tell her all of the incredibly mean and malicious things you did to me while we were married and you know she'd leave your ass if she found out about them. And you can't STAND to be alone so you want to keep her as close to you and as far away from me as possible.
That's okay though.
She'll figure out what an ass you are and leave you and THEN???!!! you'll be the one crying instead of me.
Confession #1027
When I've had 4 hours of sleep, and there is still half an hour to go before I have to get out of bed and work harder than anyone I know including you (and you admit it), and you have woken me up to ask for sex, you're not going to like the answer. Stop doing it.
Confession #1028
Have you noticed that every small inconvenience or discomfort you cause me, real or imagined, costs you money? It's quite a nice arrangement, I think, and mutually beneficial. I don't nag. I shop.
Confession #1029
I know you still love her. That's okay. I still love him, too. We'll always keep some love for the people in our pasts and the people we imagined them to be.
But don't tell our friends how much you miss her. Don't ever bring her up to me again. Don't bring it up where it will get back around to me. I've never made you feel like you were my consolation prize. Am I yours?
She's a cunt, she's tried to break us up, she's intruded and inflamed. But that's not why I hate her. I hate her because you don't. I'd never known I was capable of such hate and murderous rage before. I wish she would die.
Confession #1030
When I am trying to sleep, for the love of god do not turn on the TV in the bedroom. I can't sleep when it is on and I do not want to hear a running commentary of what is happening. I get into bed at night to sleep, not to watch TV. If you want to watch it go in the other room. I did not even want it in the bedroom, but like with everything else you whined and pouted until I gave in because I was so sick of arguing with you. Every night I think about taking a pair of scissors and cutting off the cord so you can't use it. Some time after I am sleep deprived enough I might just do it.
I love you. I really, honestly, truly do. But . . .
The love I feel for you is no where near as strong as the love I feel for me ex. He and I started talking again. And if I'm given the chance, I will leave you for him.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair to you.
Confession #1022
If we all get sick with the same cold, how come you always, and I mean every
single time, get it the worst? For years I thought you were just sickly,
but now I think it's in your head. I got a cold and still took care of the
kids all through the night, leaving me with two hours of sleep, still went
to work the next day, hoping to come home to a nap only to have you hand
over the kids and go take one yourself? Because the full night's rest plus
two naps wasn't enough. And now, instead of sleep, I get to watch the kids
so you can do everything you didn't do while you were asleep? I was sick,
too, asshole. I can't help but think that you are just a big, lazy baby.
Suck it up.
Confession #1023
Hubby,
I am sorry I let myself go after having the baby. I hate being fat. I wish I had the sheer will power to be anorexic. When we met I was a size 4, now I'm 20W. It makes me insecure about our relationship and I take out my low self-esteem on you as a defense mechanism.
Confession #1024
I wish you were more ambitious. You are a great
father and husband, but I wish it was as
important to you as it is to me to build a secure
future for us and our children.
Confession #1025
When you fart in my close proximity it TOTALLY turns me off. Think before you fart, I would hate for you to injure yourself trying to squeeze one out just to piss me off. Other than that and the pissing on the floor in the bathroom, you are a keeper.
Confession #1026
I hate you.
I hate you more NOW than I did when I was married to you.
The only reason you are keeping us apart is because we are so much alike and you know it.
You are afraid that I might tell her all of the incredibly mean and malicious things you did to me while we were married and you know she'd leave your ass if she found out about them. And you can't STAND to be alone so you want to keep her as close to you and as far away from me as possible.
That's okay though.
She'll figure out what an ass you are and leave you and THEN???!!! you'll be the one crying instead of me.
Confession #1027
When I've had 4 hours of sleep, and there is still half an hour to go before I have to get out of bed and work harder than anyone I know including you (and you admit it), and you have woken me up to ask for sex, you're not going to like the answer. Stop doing it.
Confession #1028
Have you noticed that every small inconvenience or discomfort you cause me, real or imagined, costs you money? It's quite a nice arrangement, I think, and mutually beneficial. I don't nag. I shop.
Confession #1029
I know you still love her. That's okay. I still love him, too. We'll always keep some love for the people in our pasts and the people we imagined them to be.
But don't tell our friends how much you miss her. Don't ever bring her up to me again. Don't bring it up where it will get back around to me. I've never made you feel like you were my consolation prize. Am I yours?
She's a cunt, she's tried to break us up, she's intruded and inflamed. But that's not why I hate her. I hate her because you don't. I'd never known I was capable of such hate and murderous rage before. I wish she would die.
Confession #1030
When I am trying to sleep, for the love of god do not turn on the TV in the bedroom. I can't sleep when it is on and I do not want to hear a running commentary of what is happening. I get into bed at night to sleep, not to watch TV. If you want to watch it go in the other room. I did not even want it in the bedroom, but like with everything else you whined and pouted until I gave in because I was so sick of arguing with you. Every night I think about taking a pair of scissors and cutting off the cord so you can't use it. Some time after I am sleep deprived enough I might just do it.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
True Wife Confessions 102 River
Confession #1011
Yes, I know I volunteer more than I should. I know I work more than I should. I know that I spend more time on schoolwork than I should. But when I say I'm feeling overwhelmed, what I want you to do is help me out more, not explain to me how to fix it. I don't want you to tell me that I need to stop taking on so many tasks. I KNOW that. I just want you to load the dishwasher, and I'm leading up to that. But before I say, "Could you please load the dishwasher?" you try to tell me how I need to slow down.
I just want you to load the dishwasher. Okay? Not tell me how to fix things.
Confession #1012
To my soon to be ex-husband:
Not only did I get sole custody of our two children, I got all the child support money I asked for, medical reimbursement, and NO visitation from their sorry excuse for a father in the Parenting Plan! You, who said "you'll never take my kids away from me"... I'm glad, now, that you left us with nothing, moved 1200 miles away (back to mommy), and have not contacted us.
When the IRS comes knocking on your dad's door for not paying taxes for the last 10 years or so.... think of me -- he shouldn't be paying your sorry a$$ under the table while your children get nothing!
I can't wait to be rid of you totally! 2007 is my year, baby!
Confession #1013
I hate that you don't brush your teeth or shower everyday
but I love that you always put the toilet seat down.
I hate that you use your eczema as an excuse not to wash up
but I love that you cook dinner 3 times a week.
I hate that I have to nag you to rake the yard
but I love that you always put the garbage out every week.
I hate that you spend hours on the computer
but I love that you always offer it up to me when I'm around.
I hate that you make me ring up to schedule your doctor and dentist
appointments
but I love that you will drive me anywhere I need to go.
I hate that your answer to my not wanting to try anal sex was "why? it's
just like having a poop"
but I love what you do to me with your fingers.
I hate that I have to nag at you to dress up for YOUR family get-togethers
but I love your new hair style.
I hate that you leave your coffee cups lying around
but I love that you don't mind when I'm having a lazy day and the housework
isn't done.
I love you
but I am in love with him
Confession #1014
I want all of you, your entire heart, body and soul. We're both so much closer than we have been in years, but there is still a little space between us, and I want to close that last little distance.
I don't want to leave again. I'm scared of the unknown, afraid of all the danger over there, scared of losing you again, scared of ..... just don't know how to say it all.
You are who I want and who I long for when I'm alone. It has to be hard for you to trust that this is all real, and to make yourself open and vulnerable to me, but I hope you will see that I'm trying to be the person I should have been long ago. You and 'that guy' are my family, and that's all I need in life.
Talk with me, help me understand you even more. Trust me. Love me. Be honest with me. Remember me when I'm gone, never forget me if...
Every now and then you relax or forget all the bad stuff and I get to see your heart shining through, and it is so very beautiful, it overwhelms me.
I'm glad I came home.
Confession #1015
When you "babysit" (as you like to call it) our son on the two days a week that I work, could you please, please, please just clean up his toys. When I get home the last thing in the world that I want to worry about is tripping over them. It takes 15 seconds. And another thing, please stop referring to spending time alone with your son as babysitting. How ridiculous would it sound if I went around seven days a week saying I was "babysitting" my own son? Oh, and just one more thing. Our son is teething right now. When you use a teether from the refrigerator, and he is finished with it, when you get a new one out, put the other one back in so that in the morning when I wake up with him and he is screaming because his gums hurt I have something cold to give him to chew on.
Confession #1016
To my ex (boyfriend):
To this day, I don't know what you were thinking. When you came up to
me as a leader at a CHURCH function and said "Hey, cutie, how are
you?" And I was 14. You were 23. I didn't even like you at first,
but with the lack of any fatherly influence in my life, I can now see
how my environment made you more attractive over time. It took a year
for you to kiss me (my first kiss). You called me and said that we
couldn't be together because of the age thing. I said fine. But you
kept coming after me and flirting: touching my waist, winking, giving
kisses on the cheek--all hidden, by necessity. Of course it was
flattering--You were handsome, a college graduate, could buy me things
that boys my age could not. But if I knew then what I know now, I
would have run despite my need for acceptance.
Eventually we hung out all the time, with the same group of friends.
But you thought of ways to be with me alone: driving me home, lying to
everyone else about where we were. And eventually I started doing it
too. I'm still angry at myself for lying for all those years to the
people I loved. I wasted my entire high school experience on you; I
didn't get to be an adolescent. You were wonderful to me sometimes,
but you became more and more pushy and forceful. You nagged and
nagged and begged and whined until I gave in to you one compromise at
a time. Sometimes, when we were messing around, I was still saying no
throughout it. I was trying to be the adult, and do the right thing.
I see now how wrong you were, but then I just felt dirty and guilty
and used. Even when you started being abusive (grabbing me,
occasionally throwing something at me if you were angry, and
commenting about how my size 6 jeans were looking tight and was I
gaining weight?) I thought I had to stay because no one would ever
want me after what you did and said.
I also had anger toward everyone else. Why did my mom and step dad
let you hang around, even staying the night (on the couch) sometimes?
Why did your roommate, a pastor, not ever ask why you had a 16 year old
girl in your room all the time? Why did no one confront me? I
realize now that I so desperately wanted to be caught, to have someone
care enough to stop me. People trusted me too much. In every other
area, I was the "perfect" child, student, friend.
I thank God every day that I finally came to my senses and left you,
and didn't come back when you begged for the next 6 months because
then I was finally 18 and we could be together and be legal. Too
late. I figured out that I deserved way better than you. I think you
figured that out too.
I have moved on and through the years learned to forgive both myself
and you for our wrong decisions. Somedays, though, it's like I'm
still that scared child; I have to shake it off. I hope you don't
treat your wife this way now (she's my age...9 years younger, and you
chose her because she was easy and you finally figured out I wasn't
taking you back). Most of all, I feel sorry that my
wonderful-and-exactly-the-opposite-of-you-husband has had to deal with
my emotional baggage, none of which is his fault.
Confession #1017
I know you were a little surprised that I didn’t want to take your name. I diplomatically explained that it had nothing to do with my level of commitment to you, or any negativity about your name—it was basically a business decision as I’m professionally well known under my own name and I didn’t want to confuse people. Your family was disappointed too but you stuck up for me even though you weren’t completely happy with my decision yourself. Your family has been very respectful of my wishes and I love them for it, and so much else. All in all it went fine, and the only person who can’t get it right is my own grandmother.
So why does it bug me when people make mistakes about it and call me be your last name? You’d think I would be able to gracefully shrug it off, considering I really am proud to be married to you and I love feeling like part of your family in addition to my own.
Some part of me is just still angry that I ever have to have the conversation. That everyone, in this day and age, seeing an independent and professional woman get married, was surprised that I would “refuse” the “honour” of taking your name. What?!?
Why on earth would I take your name? I have my own name. Sure, like a lot of people I got my original last name from my father and not from my mother—but I kept it that way because that’s how I feel about it—I’m a descendant of my father’s family in appearance, temperament, and love, while my mother’s family is weird and awful and if I had somehow been given their name I would have changed it.
Names are powerful. My name is the word that means me. And the bottom line is, the meaning of me has not been changed by marriage to you. Nor should it be.
Confession #1018
You had better appreciate this Brazilian wax and give me some amazing oral, cause this shit HURT.
Confession #1019
I hate that you seem to be incapable of changing
the toilet paper roll. It really isn't that
hard, and you should try it sometime. When I
asked you if you needed me to show you how, I
really wasn't kidding. Change the roll! I
love you, but I absolutely despise sharing a
bathroom with you.
Confession #1020
After I had our baby you pushed for sex as soon as the
OB gave the OK, then you made me feel like shit when
it hurt and I told you my body wasn't ready. You told
me something was wrong and I should go back to the
doctor. Anytime I offered an alternative to sex, you
blew it off, stating it wasn't The Real Thing. You
know what, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I
was trying to make you happy and trying to keep the
peace. Way to go champ, you made me feel like a piece
of crap during one of the worst parts of my life. As
if adjusting to being a new mom and trying to balance
baby, marriage, and work wasn't enough stress.
Months later you complained that our intimate life
wasn't what it used to be. Never mind that I was
exhausted from being a mom and working full time. You
mentioned how one of your good friends likes it
several times a week. What was I supposed to say? It
hasn't kept her husband from cheating and threatening
her with divorce. Was I supposed to give my blessing
for you to hook up with her since I wasn't cutting it?
When I responded that I still wasn't over the way you
treated me months before, you told me I needed
counseling. Way to kick a girl when she's down. Make
her feel even worse about herself. I told you I
wasn't comfortable with the idea and I didn't know how
we'd find the time and money. That was true. But
there was one more part. I'm afraid if I tell a
counsellor how much anger and resentment toward you I
have buried away, she'll tell me what I've been
wondering all this time: that maybe I'd be happier
without you. I don't want to go there. I don't think
you do either.
Yes, I know I volunteer more than I should. I know I work more than I should. I know that I spend more time on schoolwork than I should. But when I say I'm feeling overwhelmed, what I want you to do is help me out more, not explain to me how to fix it. I don't want you to tell me that I need to stop taking on so many tasks. I KNOW that. I just want you to load the dishwasher, and I'm leading up to that. But before I say, "Could you please load the dishwasher?" you try to tell me how I need to slow down.
I just want you to load the dishwasher. Okay? Not tell me how to fix things.
Confession #1012
To my soon to be ex-husband:
Not only did I get sole custody of our two children, I got all the child support money I asked for, medical reimbursement, and NO visitation from their sorry excuse for a father in the Parenting Plan! You, who said "you'll never take my kids away from me"... I'm glad, now, that you left us with nothing, moved 1200 miles away (back to mommy), and have not contacted us.
When the IRS comes knocking on your dad's door for not paying taxes for the last 10 years or so.... think of me -- he shouldn't be paying your sorry a$$ under the table while your children get nothing!
I can't wait to be rid of you totally! 2007 is my year, baby!
Confession #1013
I hate that you don't brush your teeth or shower everyday
but I love that you always put the toilet seat down.
I hate that you use your eczema as an excuse not to wash up
but I love that you cook dinner 3 times a week.
I hate that I have to nag you to rake the yard
but I love that you always put the garbage out every week.
I hate that you spend hours on the computer
but I love that you always offer it up to me when I'm around.
I hate that you make me ring up to schedule your doctor and dentist
appointments
but I love that you will drive me anywhere I need to go.
I hate that your answer to my not wanting to try anal sex was "why? it's
just like having a poop"
but I love what you do to me with your fingers.
I hate that I have to nag at you to dress up for YOUR family get-togethers
but I love your new hair style.
I hate that you leave your coffee cups lying around
but I love that you don't mind when I'm having a lazy day and the housework
isn't done.
I love you
but I am in love with him
Confession #1014
I want all of you, your entire heart, body and soul. We're both so much closer than we have been in years, but there is still a little space between us, and I want to close that last little distance.
I don't want to leave again. I'm scared of the unknown, afraid of all the danger over there, scared of losing you again, scared of ..... just don't know how to say it all.
You are who I want and who I long for when I'm alone. It has to be hard for you to trust that this is all real, and to make yourself open and vulnerable to me, but I hope you will see that I'm trying to be the person I should have been long ago. You and 'that guy' are my family, and that's all I need in life.
Talk with me, help me understand you even more. Trust me. Love me. Be honest with me. Remember me when I'm gone, never forget me if...
Every now and then you relax or forget all the bad stuff and I get to see your heart shining through, and it is so very beautiful, it overwhelms me.
I'm glad I came home.
Confession #1015
When you "babysit" (as you like to call it) our son on the two days a week that I work, could you please, please, please just clean up his toys. When I get home the last thing in the world that I want to worry about is tripping over them. It takes 15 seconds. And another thing, please stop referring to spending time alone with your son as babysitting. How ridiculous would it sound if I went around seven days a week saying I was "babysitting" my own son? Oh, and just one more thing. Our son is teething right now. When you use a teether from the refrigerator, and he is finished with it, when you get a new one out, put the other one back in so that in the morning when I wake up with him and he is screaming because his gums hurt I have something cold to give him to chew on.
Confession #1016
To my ex (boyfriend):
To this day, I don't know what you were thinking. When you came up to
me as a leader at a CHURCH function and said "Hey, cutie, how are
you?" And I was 14. You were 23. I didn't even like you at first,
but with the lack of any fatherly influence in my life, I can now see
how my environment made you more attractive over time. It took a year
for you to kiss me (my first kiss). You called me and said that we
couldn't be together because of the age thing. I said fine. But you
kept coming after me and flirting: touching my waist, winking, giving
kisses on the cheek--all hidden, by necessity. Of course it was
flattering--You were handsome, a college graduate, could buy me things
that boys my age could not. But if I knew then what I know now, I
would have run despite my need for acceptance.
Eventually we hung out all the time, with the same group of friends.
But you thought of ways to be with me alone: driving me home, lying to
everyone else about where we were. And eventually I started doing it
too. I'm still angry at myself for lying for all those years to the
people I loved. I wasted my entire high school experience on you; I
didn't get to be an adolescent. You were wonderful to me sometimes,
but you became more and more pushy and forceful. You nagged and
nagged and begged and whined until I gave in to you one compromise at
a time. Sometimes, when we were messing around, I was still saying no
throughout it. I was trying to be the adult, and do the right thing.
I see now how wrong you were, but then I just felt dirty and guilty
and used. Even when you started being abusive (grabbing me,
occasionally throwing something at me if you were angry, and
commenting about how my size 6 jeans were looking tight and was I
gaining weight?) I thought I had to stay because no one would ever
want me after what you did and said.
I also had anger toward everyone else. Why did my mom and step dad
let you hang around, even staying the night (on the couch) sometimes?
Why did your roommate, a pastor, not ever ask why you had a 16 year old
girl in your room all the time? Why did no one confront me? I
realize now that I so desperately wanted to be caught, to have someone
care enough to stop me. People trusted me too much. In every other
area, I was the "perfect" child, student, friend.
I thank God every day that I finally came to my senses and left you,
and didn't come back when you begged for the next 6 months because
then I was finally 18 and we could be together and be legal. Too
late. I figured out that I deserved way better than you. I think you
figured that out too.
I have moved on and through the years learned to forgive both myself
and you for our wrong decisions. Somedays, though, it's like I'm
still that scared child; I have to shake it off. I hope you don't
treat your wife this way now (she's my age...9 years younger, and you
chose her because she was easy and you finally figured out I wasn't
taking you back). Most of all, I feel sorry that my
wonderful-and-exactly-the-opposite-of-you-husband has had to deal with
my emotional baggage, none of which is his fault.
Confession #1017
I know you were a little surprised that I didn’t want to take your name. I diplomatically explained that it had nothing to do with my level of commitment to you, or any negativity about your name—it was basically a business decision as I’m professionally well known under my own name and I didn’t want to confuse people. Your family was disappointed too but you stuck up for me even though you weren’t completely happy with my decision yourself. Your family has been very respectful of my wishes and I love them for it, and so much else. All in all it went fine, and the only person who can’t get it right is my own grandmother.
So why does it bug me when people make mistakes about it and call me be your last name? You’d think I would be able to gracefully shrug it off, considering I really am proud to be married to you and I love feeling like part of your family in addition to my own.
Some part of me is just still angry that I ever have to have the conversation. That everyone, in this day and age, seeing an independent and professional woman get married, was surprised that I would “refuse” the “honour” of taking your name. What?!?
Why on earth would I take your name? I have my own name. Sure, like a lot of people I got my original last name from my father and not from my mother—but I kept it that way because that’s how I feel about it—I’m a descendant of my father’s family in appearance, temperament, and love, while my mother’s family is weird and awful and if I had somehow been given their name I would have changed it.
Names are powerful. My name is the word that means me. And the bottom line is, the meaning of me has not been changed by marriage to you. Nor should it be.
Confession #1018
You had better appreciate this Brazilian wax and give me some amazing oral, cause this shit HURT.
Confession #1019
I hate that you seem to be incapable of changing
the toilet paper roll. It really isn't that
hard, and you should try it sometime. When I
asked you if you needed me to show you how, I
really wasn't kidding. Change the roll! I
love you, but I absolutely despise sharing a
bathroom with you.
Confession #1020
After I had our baby you pushed for sex as soon as the
OB gave the OK, then you made me feel like shit when
it hurt and I told you my body wasn't ready. You told
me something was wrong and I should go back to the
doctor. Anytime I offered an alternative to sex, you
blew it off, stating it wasn't The Real Thing. You
know what, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I
was trying to make you happy and trying to keep the
peace. Way to go champ, you made me feel like a piece
of crap during one of the worst parts of my life. As
if adjusting to being a new mom and trying to balance
baby, marriage, and work wasn't enough stress.
Months later you complained that our intimate life
wasn't what it used to be. Never mind that I was
exhausted from being a mom and working full time. You
mentioned how one of your good friends likes it
several times a week. What was I supposed to say? It
hasn't kept her husband from cheating and threatening
her with divorce. Was I supposed to give my blessing
for you to hook up with her since I wasn't cutting it?
When I responded that I still wasn't over the way you
treated me months before, you told me I needed
counseling. Way to kick a girl when she's down. Make
her feel even worse about herself. I told you I
wasn't comfortable with the idea and I didn't know how
we'd find the time and money. That was true. But
there was one more part. I'm afraid if I tell a
counsellor how much anger and resentment toward you I
have buried away, she'll tell me what I've been
wondering all this time: that maybe I'd be happier
without you. I don't want to go there. I don't think
you do either.
Monday, October 23, 2006
True Wife Confessions 101 Dalmations
Confession #1001
It makes me crazy that you don't put on your seatbelt until the
car is in motion. I have mentioned this to you many times, although
I don't want to fight about it. (We have fought about it in the
past, when I was waiting for you to put your seatbelt on so I could
drive, and you were waiting for the car to move to put your seatbelt
on.) You seem to make it into a "No one can tell me what to do!"
situation, and then it turns into a fight. Is is so difficult to put
the seatbelt on before putting the car in gear? When I've discussed
this with you before, you say it's a non-issue to you, so you'll put
the seatbelt on before the car is moving. And then you don't!
Now that we have a toddler who watches everything we do and
imitates it, it is more important than ever to set a good example.
And I am still mad at you for taking him out of his carseat while we
were on the highway. It was over a year ago and it is still a big deal.
Confession #1002
I am so tired of you claiming that you are the only one that cleans in this house. You don't. I have proof of this. While I was away with our toddler while he was in the hospital and my sister was there to watch the baby you did jack shit in the house. You didn't even have to go to work the entire time as your boss was nice enough to let you have time off. So while you were freed from the responsibility of caring for the baby and not visiting us at the hospital all the time what did you do? I can't say for sure but I bet your ass was at the computer desk playing some computer game. I had to wade through piles of junk in the upstairs hall way when I got home. The kitchen stank because you had not done the dishes in forever. All the kid's toys were scattered around the living room.
I married you knowing that you were a slob. I just had no idea that you could become a housework martyr with out actually doing any housecleaning. Shut up and quit demeaning the work that I do for this family.
Confession #1003
Sometimes, even though I don't really believe in fate or soulmates, I think you and I were meant to be together.
How else would can it be explained that the two people on the planet with the most messed-up mothers ended up together?
I ask you.
Confession #1004
I can't believe you broke into and read my journal, used my private thoughts against me (when I never even DID anything), gave me hell and then turned around and tried to act like everything was OK because you knew what you did was wrong. As I've said a thousand times, everything is NOT OK. We are divorcing and there's nothing you can do to stop it. As I said the second you told me you'd read my journal -- I fucking hate you and never want to speak to you again. I'm already divorced in my heart. You did this. Hopefully you also read back far enough to where I used to love you more than anything before you fucked it all up. Loser.
Confession #1005
Why do you insist on leaving cups all over the damn house? Do you think the
cup fairy comes and picks them up? Because she doesn't. Instead, the damn
cat knocks over whatever you had left in the cup. And, dude. Cookies and
milk? What are you, 80?
Confession #1006
Take off your socks when we have sex. It's just weird to leave them on. Do
you have somewhere to go that you need them on? Because white tube socks
aren't exactly making me cream my jeans. Get naked already. All the way
naked.
Confession #1007
No, you didn't cheat. But what you did do involved the same sort of trust
issues as cheating. Do I worry about you cheating now? No. Do I think you
have it in you? Yup.
Confession #1008
If I sneak a piece of cheesecake, then don't give me that look. I'm the one
who had to deal with fertility treatments, pregnancy, labor, recovery, and
now a no-dairy diet while I nurse our baby and if I want to sneak a piece of
cheesecake once in three months, then look the other way. I know the baby
is going to spit up a little, but he's not going to die. He's not allergic
to milk, he just has a sensitive tummy. So stick your eyeballs back into
your head - and be grateful that you didn't have to give up comfortable
sleeping positions, bodily functions, drinking, smoking, or orgasms (because
you got ALL of those during and after the pregnancy).
Confession #1009
Yes, we get into bed every night. Yes, I do make the bed every morning.
Yes, you complain every morning that we are just going to get into bed again
that night. After almost a decade together, dearest, you must have figured
out that you have to do things just to make your wife happy. Having a made
bed is one of those things. It's not like I make you make up the bed after
all. So shut the hell up.
Confession #1010
Leaving the laundry in the dryer for days and then piling it on the dresser
does not constitute "doing the laundry." You do the laundry by putting it
in the washer; then, 30 minutes later, you put it in the dryer. After an
hour, you take it out, fold it, and put it away. In a drawer. Or two.
Thank god you are only responsible for your own laundry.
It makes me crazy that you don't put on your seatbelt until the
car is in motion. I have mentioned this to you many times, although
I don't want to fight about it. (We have fought about it in the
past, when I was waiting for you to put your seatbelt on so I could
drive, and you were waiting for the car to move to put your seatbelt
on.) You seem to make it into a "No one can tell me what to do!"
situation, and then it turns into a fight. Is is so difficult to put
the seatbelt on before putting the car in gear? When I've discussed
this with you before, you say it's a non-issue to you, so you'll put
the seatbelt on before the car is moving. And then you don't!
Now that we have a toddler who watches everything we do and
imitates it, it is more important than ever to set a good example.
And I am still mad at you for taking him out of his carseat while we
were on the highway. It was over a year ago and it is still a big deal.
Confession #1002
I am so tired of you claiming that you are the only one that cleans in this house. You don't. I have proof of this. While I was away with our toddler while he was in the hospital and my sister was there to watch the baby you did jack shit in the house. You didn't even have to go to work the entire time as your boss was nice enough to let you have time off. So while you were freed from the responsibility of caring for the baby and not visiting us at the hospital all the time what did you do? I can't say for sure but I bet your ass was at the computer desk playing some computer game. I had to wade through piles of junk in the upstairs hall way when I got home. The kitchen stank because you had not done the dishes in forever. All the kid's toys were scattered around the living room.
I married you knowing that you were a slob. I just had no idea that you could become a housework martyr with out actually doing any housecleaning. Shut up and quit demeaning the work that I do for this family.
Confession #1003
Sometimes, even though I don't really believe in fate or soulmates, I think you and I were meant to be together.
How else would can it be explained that the two people on the planet with the most messed-up mothers ended up together?
I ask you.
Confession #1004
I can't believe you broke into and read my journal, used my private thoughts against me (when I never even DID anything), gave me hell and then turned around and tried to act like everything was OK because you knew what you did was wrong. As I've said a thousand times, everything is NOT OK. We are divorcing and there's nothing you can do to stop it. As I said the second you told me you'd read my journal -- I fucking hate you and never want to speak to you again. I'm already divorced in my heart. You did this. Hopefully you also read back far enough to where I used to love you more than anything before you fucked it all up. Loser.
Confession #1005
Why do you insist on leaving cups all over the damn house? Do you think the
cup fairy comes and picks them up? Because she doesn't. Instead, the damn
cat knocks over whatever you had left in the cup. And, dude. Cookies and
milk? What are you, 80?
Confession #1006
Take off your socks when we have sex. It's just weird to leave them on. Do
you have somewhere to go that you need them on? Because white tube socks
aren't exactly making me cream my jeans. Get naked already. All the way
naked.
Confession #1007
No, you didn't cheat. But what you did do involved the same sort of trust
issues as cheating. Do I worry about you cheating now? No. Do I think you
have it in you? Yup.
Confession #1008
If I sneak a piece of cheesecake, then don't give me that look. I'm the one
who had to deal with fertility treatments, pregnancy, labor, recovery, and
now a no-dairy diet while I nurse our baby and if I want to sneak a piece of
cheesecake once in three months, then look the other way. I know the baby
is going to spit up a little, but he's not going to die. He's not allergic
to milk, he just has a sensitive tummy. So stick your eyeballs back into
your head - and be grateful that you didn't have to give up comfortable
sleeping positions, bodily functions, drinking, smoking, or orgasms (because
you got ALL of those during and after the pregnancy).
Confession #1009
Yes, we get into bed every night. Yes, I do make the bed every morning.
Yes, you complain every morning that we are just going to get into bed again
that night. After almost a decade together, dearest, you must have figured
out that you have to do things just to make your wife happy. Having a made
bed is one of those things. It's not like I make you make up the bed after
all. So shut the hell up.
Confession #1010
Leaving the laundry in the dryer for days and then piling it on the dresser
does not constitute "doing the laundry." You do the laundry by putting it
in the washer; then, 30 minutes later, you put it in the dryer. After an
hour, you take it out, fold it, and put it away. In a drawer. Or two.
Thank god you are only responsible for your own laundry.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
True Wife Confession 100 tiles in Scrabble
Confession #991
11 years. You and I have been together 11 years. You are my first and only. Why do you treat me so badly? Why do you treat our kids so badly? I realize now that you always have, I was just more willing to overlook it when it was just me. Seriously, to wake me up this morning to yell at me about a coffee filter that was left in a damn coffee pot. Then, to go on about how messy the house is and start swearing at me. It is 5 am. I was up until after midnight with our daughter. I should be able to sleep for 2 more hours, have you no courtesy.
You need to treat me better. You need to have respect for our kids, or they will never respect you. I am ready to leave. I don't want to leave. I would like for us to work. I would like to still love you. After you waking me up to yell at me this morning (again) I think I hate you. You left, and I cried myself back to sleep.
I work too. And I take care of the kids. All I want is some help, and more than 3-5 hours of sleep a night. And don't yell at our son if he doesn't want to watch racing again. He misses you. He sees you only on weekends due to your work schedule. Play with the kid. He loves you so much and you treat him like an inconvenience. All you do is make him watch races and play video games. Actually that is how you interact with our daughter too. Please talk to them. While we are at it, use our names. I am not hey you, he is not buddy and she is not monster. I will ignore you if you don't use my name. I use yours. I hate you calling me dear. because even though you are using an endearment, you usually use it when you are going to complain/yell about something, or make me cry. I have a name. I used to have confidence. I am a completely different person when you are not home. I am a happy person when you are not home.
Please help me to love you again. I don' t want to know that almost half my life will have been a waste.
Confession #992
I'm really scared. I love you a lot. We've been together for a very, very long time. We have a "perfect marriage"-- whatever that means. Why now do you want to bring bestiality into it? Isn't it sexy enough to do it with me? I'm hot!! I'm really, really hot and beautiful and sexy. (Don't worry TWC, I don't brag usually, I'm just stating my argument here). I admit the fantasy of dirty sex is great, but I think fucking a dog is over the line. I just can't bring myself to tell you because I'm afraid you will cheat on me if I don't do it with you. And if I do it with you, I will never forgive myself. Yuck.
Confession #993
One wife to another (kind of):
This latest bullshit is a stupid attention-getting ploy, plus a last-ditch
attempt to romanticize your mediocre life, your mediocre personality, and
your mediocre "marriage." If you're not married after that many years
together, you're not sharing finances , and he's making you pay for all of
your own groceries, you're ROOMMATES.
Stop trying to find someone else to validate your shallow existence, and
start making yourself someone worth being around. Especially, stop trying to
get my husband to come over to your house after work and talk about our
problems. The sympathetic shoulder act is not going to make him fall into
bed with you. He's onto you, and we both think it's sad at best, creepy and
disturbing at worst.
Confession #994
I know you think that no other man out would find me attractive and for a while I believed it too. But guess what, there are other guys out there who want to touch me, even if you don`t. There are other guys out there who want to kiss me with passion, unlike you who barely pecks me on the cheek these days. And yes, on Saturday night I was wearing more make-up than usual because I was going off to meet one of said guys, not some female friends and yes, I did kiss him and no, I don`t have any regrets. If you had shown me one ounce of affection in the past year I might not have been driven to do something that is so totally against my moral code. I hate you for making me into the shell of my real self that I have become. One day I will get out of here and you will realise what you have been taking for granted since we got married. Then again, as you will still have your favourite person around (yourself) you might not even notice.
Confession #995
I'm mad at you for making me go back to work. I don't want to. I'm not ready. I need to be home to cook and clean. I like that. I don't love it. But I like it. I wanted to stay home until our youngest was 2. Well, he is only 11 months. We survive (barely) on your income. Which I don't get...you make a lot of money. I know where all the money goes, and it still seems there is never enough. And the fact I will only be bringing home like $100 a week is pathetic. We will just spend it on going out to eat and on coffee.
You are an amazing husband and father, but sometimes your priorities are a little out of whack.
Confession #996
To my ex-husband:
For 13 years I took care of you, did all the housework, was the breadwinner, and let you do anything you wanted, because that was the way you wanted it. You never once said thank you for everything I did for you. You never once turned on the vacuum cleaner.
Two years ago, you left me for a 22 year old. I was shattered.
Now, two years later, my life is completely turned around, It's all about ME. I have a wonderful man in my life, I have orgasms with this man, I have a great job I love, I'm going to start saving for a house of my own, I've travelled to places I never thought I would see. I finally LOVE MY LIFE! And none of it would have happened if you hadn't been so selfish.
It's too bad the 22 year old turned out to be a psycho who's cut your nuts off, and whom your family can't stand. I don't even hate you two anymore, you're too funny, like a Jackie Collins book.
I don't think things have turned out quite the way you thought they would two years ago, have they? Karma's a bitch.
And stop trying to get back together with me. It's pathetic
Confession #997
Have I told you I hated you?
Confession #998
You ask me about my fantasies, you want me to tell you my deepest desires, but I can't- because they're all about someone else. I love you more than you can know, but this guy- I can't let him go. You think you were my first love, but I think he was... we just never had a chance. I'm happy that I ended up with you, and don't regret our life, but I wonder what it would be like if I'd fought for him, if he'd fought for me.
I'm ashamed that I think these things, but I can't stop. He's in my head daily. And even though I know I would not cheat on you or do anything inappropriate, I have looked him up. I can't and won't pursue him, but I know where he is.
I wish I knew how to let him go.
Confession #999
Checking my email is not ok so why do you do it?
We are not together anymore.
I’m not doing anything wrong or inappropriate.
And even if I was it’s none of your damn business.
I BROKE UP WITH YOU!
Confession #1000
A confession to a wife: You are blowing it. Your husband is out and he is trolling, he is hitting on women, and I am taking him up on it. And don't bother all of you "anonymous" commenters, I know it is wrong, and I don't want to listen to or read your shit, this is my confession. I am sleeping with your husband, and we are both enjoying it. There is no emotional attachment between us, this is pure raw sex. And he doesn't seem the type, shy, quiet, busy with so many things, how does he have time you wonder? For me he makes time. And the shit of it all is, he would rather be with you.
11 years. You and I have been together 11 years. You are my first and only. Why do you treat me so badly? Why do you treat our kids so badly? I realize now that you always have, I was just more willing to overlook it when it was just me. Seriously, to wake me up this morning to yell at me about a coffee filter that was left in a damn coffee pot. Then, to go on about how messy the house is and start swearing at me. It is 5 am. I was up until after midnight with our daughter. I should be able to sleep for 2 more hours, have you no courtesy.
You need to treat me better. You need to have respect for our kids, or they will never respect you. I am ready to leave. I don't want to leave. I would like for us to work. I would like to still love you. After you waking me up to yell at me this morning (again) I think I hate you. You left, and I cried myself back to sleep.
I work too. And I take care of the kids. All I want is some help, and more than 3-5 hours of sleep a night. And don't yell at our son if he doesn't want to watch racing again. He misses you. He sees you only on weekends due to your work schedule. Play with the kid. He loves you so much and you treat him like an inconvenience. All you do is make him watch races and play video games. Actually that is how you interact with our daughter too. Please talk to them. While we are at it, use our names. I am not hey you, he is not buddy and she is not monster. I will ignore you if you don't use my name. I use yours. I hate you calling me dear. because even though you are using an endearment, you usually use it when you are going to complain/yell about something, or make me cry. I have a name. I used to have confidence. I am a completely different person when you are not home. I am a happy person when you are not home.
Please help me to love you again. I don' t want to know that almost half my life will have been a waste.
Confession #992
I'm really scared. I love you a lot. We've been together for a very, very long time. We have a "perfect marriage"-- whatever that means. Why now do you want to bring bestiality into it? Isn't it sexy enough to do it with me? I'm hot!! I'm really, really hot and beautiful and sexy. (Don't worry TWC, I don't brag usually, I'm just stating my argument here). I admit the fantasy of dirty sex is great, but I think fucking a dog is over the line. I just can't bring myself to tell you because I'm afraid you will cheat on me if I don't do it with you. And if I do it with you, I will never forgive myself. Yuck.
Confession #993
One wife to another (kind of):
This latest bullshit is a stupid attention-getting ploy, plus a last-ditch
attempt to romanticize your mediocre life, your mediocre personality, and
your mediocre "marriage." If you're not married after that many years
together, you're not sharing finances , and he's making you pay for all of
your own groceries, you're ROOMMATES.
Stop trying to find someone else to validate your shallow existence, and
start making yourself someone worth being around. Especially, stop trying to
get my husband to come over to your house after work and talk about our
problems. The sympathetic shoulder act is not going to make him fall into
bed with you. He's onto you, and we both think it's sad at best, creepy and
disturbing at worst.
Confession #994
I know you think that no other man out would find me attractive and for a while I believed it too. But guess what, there are other guys out there who want to touch me, even if you don`t. There are other guys out there who want to kiss me with passion, unlike you who barely pecks me on the cheek these days. And yes, on Saturday night I was wearing more make-up than usual because I was going off to meet one of said guys, not some female friends and yes, I did kiss him and no, I don`t have any regrets. If you had shown me one ounce of affection in the past year I might not have been driven to do something that is so totally against my moral code. I hate you for making me into the shell of my real self that I have become. One day I will get out of here and you will realise what you have been taking for granted since we got married. Then again, as you will still have your favourite person around (yourself) you might not even notice.
Confession #995
I'm mad at you for making me go back to work. I don't want to. I'm not ready. I need to be home to cook and clean. I like that. I don't love it. But I like it. I wanted to stay home until our youngest was 2. Well, he is only 11 months. We survive (barely) on your income. Which I don't get...you make a lot of money. I know where all the money goes, and it still seems there is never enough. And the fact I will only be bringing home like $100 a week is pathetic. We will just spend it on going out to eat and on coffee.
You are an amazing husband and father, but sometimes your priorities are a little out of whack.
Confession #996
To my ex-husband:
For 13 years I took care of you, did all the housework, was the breadwinner, and let you do anything you wanted, because that was the way you wanted it. You never once said thank you for everything I did for you. You never once turned on the vacuum cleaner.
Two years ago, you left me for a 22 year old. I was shattered.
Now, two years later, my life is completely turned around, It's all about ME. I have a wonderful man in my life, I have orgasms with this man, I have a great job I love, I'm going to start saving for a house of my own, I've travelled to places I never thought I would see. I finally LOVE MY LIFE! And none of it would have happened if you hadn't been so selfish.
It's too bad the 22 year old turned out to be a psycho who's cut your nuts off, and whom your family can't stand. I don't even hate you two anymore, you're too funny, like a Jackie Collins book.
I don't think things have turned out quite the way you thought they would two years ago, have they? Karma's a bitch.
And stop trying to get back together with me. It's pathetic
Confession #997
Have I told you I hated you?
Confession #998
You ask me about my fantasies, you want me to tell you my deepest desires, but I can't- because they're all about someone else. I love you more than you can know, but this guy- I can't let him go. You think you were my first love, but I think he was... we just never had a chance. I'm happy that I ended up with you, and don't regret our life, but I wonder what it would be like if I'd fought for him, if he'd fought for me.
I'm ashamed that I think these things, but I can't stop. He's in my head daily. And even though I know I would not cheat on you or do anything inappropriate, I have looked him up. I can't and won't pursue him, but I know where he is.
I wish I knew how to let him go.
Confession #999
Checking my email is not ok so why do you do it?
We are not together anymore.
I’m not doing anything wrong or inappropriate.
And even if I was it’s none of your damn business.
I BROKE UP WITH YOU!
Confession #1000
A confession to a wife: You are blowing it. Your husband is out and he is trolling, he is hitting on women, and I am taking him up on it. And don't bother all of you "anonymous" commenters, I know it is wrong, and I don't want to listen to or read your shit, this is my confession. I am sleeping with your husband, and we are both enjoying it. There is no emotional attachment between us, this is pure raw sex. And he doesn't seem the type, shy, quiet, busy with so many things, how does he have time you wonder? For me he makes time. And the shit of it all is, he would rather be with you.
Friday, October 20, 2006
True Wife Confession 99 Luftballoons
Confession #981
If I have to go through another year of doing our taxes together, I just might divorce you. Get your shit in gear. You want the good things that come with being self-employed? Then you have to take the bad, which includes invoicing customers and keeping track of expenses and following the IRS regs. No, you cannot have another extension. Your excuses didn't work with your 3rd grade teacher; they won't work with the IRS.
Grow up and stop procrastinating. I know you don't work as much as you say; any dumbass knows how to look at the computer history. No way you are surfing 100 websites a day but too busy to pay a couple of bills now and then.
Oh, and I don't take you seriously when you have an angry outburst, when you do it for EVERYTHING. When you throw a fit because I forgot to put away a couple groceries and they sat on the counter for awhile, don't expect me to take any of your other fits seriously. And seriously, see a therapist. Because the last one didn't work and it's been awhile. And you're embarrassing me.
Confession #982
I spit in your beer when you are drinking and mean.
Confession #983
Sometimes I go out and you have no idea where I am. usually it is someplace innocent, and I am behaving myself, but not always.
Confession #984
why is it that you feel you have to blame me for things YOU should have taken care of YOURSELF???
YOU should be the one calling the lawyer.
YOU should be the one making sure everything is taken care of.
YOU should be the one worrying about whether or not he's doing his job.
So don't call me telling me it's MY fault that the stupid lawyer didn't send in that money BECAUSE IT"S YOUR FUCKING CASE. I called him when you asked, and he told me it was taken care of. Was I supposed to call him a liar? Was I supposed to give him a lie-detector test? He's a fucking lawyer, he told me it was taken care of and I believed him.
GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS and start handling your own shit, I'm not your mother.
Confession #985
I love you more than anything, but you are a friggin liar.
I know that you have been looking at porn every day. We talked about it a
couple months ago and I told you I had snooped and you said you did it
because you were "bored". It stopped for a while, but now you are back at
it full force. You are going to lose me if you don't get this in check. I
told you how it makes me feel. I feel less of a woman, like there's
something wrong with me. Our sex life is great so I don't know why you feel
the need to look at it all the time.
It would be one thing if the girls on the site were actually pretty but they
are DISGUSTING. How can you look at it for hours at a time. I know you
wait until I go to bed to look at it, so you are sneaking around. Then you
don't come to bed until 1:00 a.m. and wake me up and start snoring and I
can't get any sleep.
I asked you about it again yesterday and you LIED and said you were not
looking at it again. I said, "Please just tell me the truth" and you still
lied. Well, I got on the computer last night and saw that you logged in
yesterday when you should've been at work. I can't believe you flat out
lied to my face. Oh, and I know you have been a member of this site for a
year and a half and I know you have to pay for it, but oh yeah - you lied to
me about that one too. Do you think I'm stupid!? I know more about
computers than you do.
Our marriage is a facade if you can bald-faced lie to me like that. Nothing
I know is true. I can't believe how easy it is for you to lie to me. What
else are you lying about?
All of this is giving me anxiety and insomnia. You ask why I have the
insomnia and I lie and say I don't know because I can't tell you that I have
been snooping on you again because I promised I would never do it to you
again.
I have no idea who you are.
Confession #986
I am angry. I rarely get angry with you. I normally blow almost everything off. I feel bad since I imagine that your parents treated you pretty poorly growing up. Even now, I don't care for the way your Mom and Dad treat you. Your Dad seems to use you – he only contacts us when he needs to drag us out for a dog and pony show. Your Mom is so incredibly critical of you that it makes me angry. But, I am not being treated so meanly. I am criticized from the moment I walk in the door until I go to bed in the evenings. I'm tired of it. I'm well aware that I have quite a few faults. Believe it or not, I pretty much know what they are. You don't have to remind me every day. However, you do as well.
COnfession #987
Babe, I love you. You are the world to me.
I know you work hard. I respect the fact that you work hard. I work hard too (harder than you because not only do I work full-time, I go to school full-time, and I do the vast majority of the child-rearing). I know you respect the fact that I work hard.
However, when you leave me notes saying "We need XYZ" from the store? I want to hit you upside the head with a frying pan.
Your legs are broken now? You are physically unable to DRIVE to the market and purchase these items? Do you have any idea what my life is like between 4pm-Midnight? Seriously?
I love you. I love you so much. But buy the toilet paper your damn self.
Confession #988
I know that you actually like the cat, even when you pretend you don't.
Confession #989
I offer to mow the lawn so that I can get a bit more exercise. You run out while I am mowing to tell me that I am not getting the stripes in the grass the way you want them. YOUR WIFE IS MOWING THE LAWN! I take care of the kids without your help. I clean house, work full-time, keep the pantry stocked, etc… Don't criticize me when I am mowing the lawn. Jerk.
Confession #990
I just want to let you know how often you make me feel like my wants and needs are second. Okay, third, because our child's needs come before mine. But yours seem to come before his, even. You have no qualms about telling people you'll sub in for their sports teams at the last minute, not thinking for a second about if I had something I needed to get done that night, or if that's the only evening you would have had at home with our son for that whole week. You don't hesitate to tell people we'll be somewhere without seeing if I already had something planned. You often will just leave the house on a whim, hollering to me as you're headed to the door that you'll be back in a little bit, you're going to do some favor for someone else or you're running to work real quick to pick something up. Such things usually take hours. I don't expect you to completely wrap your schedule around me, but I'm tired of wrapping my schedule around you. I've been trying to get a library card for months. The library closes before I get home from work, leaving me with Saturday morning as my only option. There has not been one Saturday available for me just to make that quick errand, because you have us planned to the hilt. There's no question you're a fantastic friend, son, brother, cousin. You're even a fantastic husband. You're very generous with giving your time to people. But you're also generous with giving MY time to people, without my say so. I'm getting sick of it. Neither of us have much spare time, since both of us have full time jobs. But when it takes me two weeks of coordination just to get my nails done, or three weeks of planning just to meet a friend for lunch on a weekend, I can't help but resent you and your freedom to just run off to do something (child-free mostly) on a whim. I suppose I let you get away with it, but when I bring it up it brings on a colossal fight.
This same thing applies to how you spend money. It's no problem for you to spend $150 on a weekend with the guys, but you look at me funny if I order $30 worth of books off the Internet. We're tight right now, tighter than we've ever been. I worry about buying groceries every week. Your couple of bucks for beers at your band practice and your twenty bucks for your bowling league and your thirty bucks for weekend money is really hurting us. When I point this out, you fly off the handle and start talking about canceling our phone, and our cable and our everything else. If you would just be a little more reasonable with what's important to spend money on, it would still be tight, but not quite as tight as we are now, and all those cancellations wouldn't be necessary. I love you and will never leave, but you have to know you really take for granted that you can go do whatever you want and I'll always be at your beck and call to either go with you or to be available to keep our son so you can go without him. You really need to be a little more considerate. Family is important, sure, but taking care of the family under your roof is more important than taking care of the family across town who are constantly wanting your time for their errands, house projects, yard sales, and gatherings. I'm sure your sister and parents can get by without you more than you think they can.
If I have to go through another year of doing our taxes together, I just might divorce you. Get your shit in gear. You want the good things that come with being self-employed? Then you have to take the bad, which includes invoicing customers and keeping track of expenses and following the IRS regs. No, you cannot have another extension. Your excuses didn't work with your 3rd grade teacher; they won't work with the IRS.
Grow up and stop procrastinating. I know you don't work as much as you say; any dumbass knows how to look at the computer history. No way you are surfing 100 websites a day but too busy to pay a couple of bills now and then.
Oh, and I don't take you seriously when you have an angry outburst, when you do it for EVERYTHING. When you throw a fit because I forgot to put away a couple groceries and they sat on the counter for awhile, don't expect me to take any of your other fits seriously. And seriously, see a therapist. Because the last one didn't work and it's been awhile. And you're embarrassing me.
Confession #982
I spit in your beer when you are drinking and mean.
Confession #983
Sometimes I go out and you have no idea where I am. usually it is someplace innocent, and I am behaving myself, but not always.
Confession #984
why is it that you feel you have to blame me for things YOU should have taken care of YOURSELF???
YOU should be the one calling the lawyer.
YOU should be the one making sure everything is taken care of.
YOU should be the one worrying about whether or not he's doing his job.
So don't call me telling me it's MY fault that the stupid lawyer didn't send in that money BECAUSE IT"S YOUR FUCKING CASE. I called him when you asked, and he told me it was taken care of. Was I supposed to call him a liar? Was I supposed to give him a lie-detector test? He's a fucking lawyer, he told me it was taken care of and I believed him.
GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS and start handling your own shit, I'm not your mother.
Confession #985
I love you more than anything, but you are a friggin liar.
I know that you have been looking at porn every day. We talked about it a
couple months ago and I told you I had snooped and you said you did it
because you were "bored". It stopped for a while, but now you are back at
it full force. You are going to lose me if you don't get this in check. I
told you how it makes me feel. I feel less of a woman, like there's
something wrong with me. Our sex life is great so I don't know why you feel
the need to look at it all the time.
It would be one thing if the girls on the site were actually pretty but they
are DISGUSTING. How can you look at it for hours at a time. I know you
wait until I go to bed to look at it, so you are sneaking around. Then you
don't come to bed until 1:00 a.m. and wake me up and start snoring and I
can't get any sleep.
I asked you about it again yesterday and you LIED and said you were not
looking at it again. I said, "Please just tell me the truth" and you still
lied. Well, I got on the computer last night and saw that you logged in
yesterday when you should've been at work. I can't believe you flat out
lied to my face. Oh, and I know you have been a member of this site for a
year and a half and I know you have to pay for it, but oh yeah - you lied to
me about that one too. Do you think I'm stupid!? I know more about
computers than you do.
Our marriage is a facade if you can bald-faced lie to me like that. Nothing
I know is true. I can't believe how easy it is for you to lie to me. What
else are you lying about?
All of this is giving me anxiety and insomnia. You ask why I have the
insomnia and I lie and say I don't know because I can't tell you that I have
been snooping on you again because I promised I would never do it to you
again.
I have no idea who you are.
Confession #986
I am angry. I rarely get angry with you. I normally blow almost everything off. I feel bad since I imagine that your parents treated you pretty poorly growing up. Even now, I don't care for the way your Mom and Dad treat you. Your Dad seems to use you – he only contacts us when he needs to drag us out for a dog and pony show. Your Mom is so incredibly critical of you that it makes me angry. But, I am not being treated so meanly. I am criticized from the moment I walk in the door until I go to bed in the evenings. I'm tired of it. I'm well aware that I have quite a few faults. Believe it or not, I pretty much know what they are. You don't have to remind me every day. However, you do as well.
COnfession #987
Babe, I love you. You are the world to me.
I know you work hard. I respect the fact that you work hard. I work hard too (harder than you because not only do I work full-time, I go to school full-time, and I do the vast majority of the child-rearing). I know you respect the fact that I work hard.
However, when you leave me notes saying "We need XYZ" from the store? I want to hit you upside the head with a frying pan.
Your legs are broken now? You are physically unable to DRIVE to the market and purchase these items? Do you have any idea what my life is like between 4pm-Midnight? Seriously?
I love you. I love you so much. But buy the toilet paper your damn self.
Confession #988
I know that you actually like the cat, even when you pretend you don't.
Confession #989
I offer to mow the lawn so that I can get a bit more exercise. You run out while I am mowing to tell me that I am not getting the stripes in the grass the way you want them. YOUR WIFE IS MOWING THE LAWN! I take care of the kids without your help. I clean house, work full-time, keep the pantry stocked, etc… Don't criticize me when I am mowing the lawn. Jerk.
Confession #990
I just want to let you know how often you make me feel like my wants and needs are second. Okay, third, because our child's needs come before mine. But yours seem to come before his, even. You have no qualms about telling people you'll sub in for their sports teams at the last minute, not thinking for a second about if I had something I needed to get done that night, or if that's the only evening you would have had at home with our son for that whole week. You don't hesitate to tell people we'll be somewhere without seeing if I already had something planned. You often will just leave the house on a whim, hollering to me as you're headed to the door that you'll be back in a little bit, you're going to do some favor for someone else or you're running to work real quick to pick something up. Such things usually take hours. I don't expect you to completely wrap your schedule around me, but I'm tired of wrapping my schedule around you. I've been trying to get a library card for months. The library closes before I get home from work, leaving me with Saturday morning as my only option. There has not been one Saturday available for me just to make that quick errand, because you have us planned to the hilt. There's no question you're a fantastic friend, son, brother, cousin. You're even a fantastic husband. You're very generous with giving your time to people. But you're also generous with giving MY time to people, without my say so. I'm getting sick of it. Neither of us have much spare time, since both of us have full time jobs. But when it takes me two weeks of coordination just to get my nails done, or three weeks of planning just to meet a friend for lunch on a weekend, I can't help but resent you and your freedom to just run off to do something (child-free mostly) on a whim. I suppose I let you get away with it, but when I bring it up it brings on a colossal fight.
This same thing applies to how you spend money. It's no problem for you to spend $150 on a weekend with the guys, but you look at me funny if I order $30 worth of books off the Internet. We're tight right now, tighter than we've ever been. I worry about buying groceries every week. Your couple of bucks for beers at your band practice and your twenty bucks for your bowling league and your thirty bucks for weekend money is really hurting us. When I point this out, you fly off the handle and start talking about canceling our phone, and our cable and our everything else. If you would just be a little more reasonable with what's important to spend money on, it would still be tight, but not quite as tight as we are now, and all those cancellations wouldn't be necessary. I love you and will never leave, but you have to know you really take for granted that you can go do whatever you want and I'll always be at your beck and call to either go with you or to be available to keep our son so you can go without him. You really need to be a little more considerate. Family is important, sure, but taking care of the family under your roof is more important than taking care of the family across town who are constantly wanting your time for their errands, house projects, yard sales, and gatherings. I'm sure your sister and parents can get by without you more than you think they can.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
True Wife Confession 98 bottles of Bartles and James wine coolers on the wall
Confession #971
You criticize me constantly - look at last night. You have for 4 almost 5 years. I am so tired, beat down and sad. I am not me anymore but rather an old dishrag that takes care of things so you can go fishing and hang out because you are stressed. I can't do it anymore. You had several years to talk, apologize, etc. You are 41 years old. You have the ability to make decisions about the way you treat me and the kids. You have chosen to treat me like crap.
Confession #972
Dear Husband,
I previously confessed I wouldn't get off the pill until you got off
your ass and helped.
I got off the pill. But purely for selfish reasons. I want another
baby. Me. I don't care if you don't help or not. Why should I deny
myself what I want just because you don't help like you should?
I plan on not telling you until I'm about 3 months along. I want it to
be my little secret. My little baby.
Oh, and I didn't tell you this last time. I met a close friend on
vacation, and we kissed. Matter of fact, we did more than just kiss.
And it was nice. I liked it. I have come thisclose to taking you up on
your offer when you joke about getting a girl to join us. But I don't
want to share her with you. I'd be insanely jealous to see another girl
with you, and I want her all to myself. I'm selfish like that.
I wish I had done a lot more before settling down. There is a lot in
this world that I didn't experience, and I'm afraid I never will due to
the fact that I love you so damn much.
Oh, and stop making so much damn noise in the morning and waking the kid
up. You get to leave, I have to get a cranky child dressed and out the
door.
Love,
Wife.
Confession #973
I love you so much J. You make me so happy and even though life is literally HELL right now, I see that you are concerned and I see that you do care and would do anything for me. Having you there to hold me is exactly what I prayed for for so long and I am so thankful that God finally answered all my prayers... Thank you for always being here for me baby... I love you with everything I am!!!
Confession #974
It kind of disturbs me that all the furniture in our house was mine before we got married 7 years ago. You make really good money and I know we could afford to buy new things. But every time I bring it up, it goes nowhere. There is very little in our house that I did not buy. It makes me wonder how comfortable you are there. Sometimes I think to myself "if he were going to leave, he could pack up his stuff in less than 5 minutes". I should probably be happy that it is all my style, but it still bothers me.
Confession #975
If your mom shows up in the delivery room as she has threatened, I will seriously have hospital security kick her out. I have already alerted them. Get some balls and stand up to her now, or sit back and wait for the fireworks. Also, if you call her before the baby is born, I might have to throw you out of the delivery room too.
Confession #976
You refuse to spend time with our kids by yourself. So, I have to go to the gym at 5am, shower and back at home before they wake up at 6. Everyday when I get back, you complain that I was too loud and the garage door woke you up. You are a selfish as*h*le.
Confession #977
I've never been allowed to paint, wallpaper or even do anything to make our house mine. I have gotten lectured about using the oven, the washer, the bbq grill, and the dishwasher.
I'm sorry that things have come to this, but I can't go around for the rest of my life thinking that I am a terrible person who can do no right. I am broken. You think you are better than I am and I just can't play that game anymore.
Confession #978
I am so proud of you for quitting smoking, I know it was worth the bitchy awful shit we went through to get you free of that drug.
Confession #979
I don't feel comfortable coming back to our house because I have had my behaviors corrected for so many years. I am afraid that you'll follow me around telling me how bad I am. How poorly I feed the kids, how rotten my finances are, how fat I am, how I am not as good as you in general. I should have stood my ground with you years ago. I can't do it. I love you too much to criticize you over the petty crap that I am criticized over.
Confession #980
I resent you. I resent you for a lot of things. I resent myself for staying and not saying anything. I resent myself for letting it get to this point in the first place. Do you really believe me when I tell you The Reason we haven't had sex all these years is that I feel like I'm too fat? No....its because of my pent up resentment towards you. I resent my fear of confrontation. I hate it that I feel so scared to tell you how I really feel. If I had been honest with you from the get-go (and honest to the person I was dating at the time too) I wouldn't be where I am today. There it is...I was dating someone seriously when I started dating you. Why did I accept a date with you in the first place? The other someone lived in a different town and I didn't get to see him that much. I'm sorry I didn't tell you then. I'm sorry I've contributed to the reason why we're in the situation we're in now. Why didn't I listen to my spirit alllll those years ago? There were many "forks in the road" and I could feel each wrong decision/choice I made when I made it and still know today where each one is.
Do you actually like living in this lifeless marriage? You reap what you sow and you haven't sown too much into your relationships...except those with your siblings. One time you told me I "whittled" away your inheritance. Do we have expensive, nice things? No. I wish I could repay you but I cannot. I took our kids and did things, fun things, that you were too busy for or didn't want to go with for one reason or another. I was subconsciously (or not so subconsciously?) compensating for your lack of participation and out of sheer resentment for so many things I had not verbalized. If I "whittled" away your inheritance then I guess I've "whittled" away my own. I used my own inheritance and my money from my stocks and bought furniture & carpet for our home. Here we are, driving vehicles that are 15+ yrs old and you have that stupid vehicle from your youth, in the garage that you refuse to give up.
I don't love you. I'm not attracted to you. Truth be told, there's more about you that annoys me than is endearing. I feel -zip- for you, other than the love for you as a person. More truth, I really don't like going to your family reunions and don't want to go ever again. The main reason I went on vacation with the girls in 2000 is to get out of going to your family reunion. I get nauseous when I think of having to go. I don't trust you with my emotional well-being. You have been non-nurturing to this whole family all these years. You never seemed to really be that into me. It took me 14 years to realize that & attach a definition to it. I thought you would've changed. I had hoped marriage would've changed that. Why did you marry me? Why did I marry you? I've never been unfaithful to you, physically. But, I've had an on-going affair in my head with that previous man for years.
Again, I resent you. I resent myself. I am going to work on getting back Myself. I feel I don't have a good enough reason to divorce you...you're not beating me...but then, on the other hand, don't I deserve to be happy and get my joy back? I'm a daughter of the King and I deserve better than this. I'm a good woman. You deserve better than this. You're a decent man. Our children deserve much better than this. They're great people too. We're both too young to have this be 'it', the "all there is" for the rest of our lives.
(By the way-I know that you look at nasty pictures on the internet when you wake up early every Saturday morning. Internet explorer shows me you do 2 things, every Saturday, without fail: check the bank account and look at stupid girlie pictures. Hello?! Don't you think about the internet explorer history? No wonder we get all those freakin' pop-ups!!!!!!)
You criticize me constantly - look at last night. You have for 4 almost 5 years. I am so tired, beat down and sad. I am not me anymore but rather an old dishrag that takes care of things so you can go fishing and hang out because you are stressed. I can't do it anymore. You had several years to talk, apologize, etc. You are 41 years old. You have the ability to make decisions about the way you treat me and the kids. You have chosen to treat me like crap.
Confession #972
Dear Husband,
I previously confessed I wouldn't get off the pill until you got off
your ass and helped.
I got off the pill. But purely for selfish reasons. I want another
baby. Me. I don't care if you don't help or not. Why should I deny
myself what I want just because you don't help like you should?
I plan on not telling you until I'm about 3 months along. I want it to
be my little secret. My little baby.
Oh, and I didn't tell you this last time. I met a close friend on
vacation, and we kissed. Matter of fact, we did more than just kiss.
And it was nice. I liked it. I have come thisclose to taking you up on
your offer when you joke about getting a girl to join us. But I don't
want to share her with you. I'd be insanely jealous to see another girl
with you, and I want her all to myself. I'm selfish like that.
I wish I had done a lot more before settling down. There is a lot in
this world that I didn't experience, and I'm afraid I never will due to
the fact that I love you so damn much.
Oh, and stop making so much damn noise in the morning and waking the kid
up. You get to leave, I have to get a cranky child dressed and out the
door.
Love,
Wife.
Confession #973
I love you so much J. You make me so happy and even though life is literally HELL right now, I see that you are concerned and I see that you do care and would do anything for me. Having you there to hold me is exactly what I prayed for for so long and I am so thankful that God finally answered all my prayers... Thank you for always being here for me baby... I love you with everything I am!!!
Confession #974
It kind of disturbs me that all the furniture in our house was mine before we got married 7 years ago. You make really good money and I know we could afford to buy new things. But every time I bring it up, it goes nowhere. There is very little in our house that I did not buy. It makes me wonder how comfortable you are there. Sometimes I think to myself "if he were going to leave, he could pack up his stuff in less than 5 minutes". I should probably be happy that it is all my style, but it still bothers me.
Confession #975
If your mom shows up in the delivery room as she has threatened, I will seriously have hospital security kick her out. I have already alerted them. Get some balls and stand up to her now, or sit back and wait for the fireworks. Also, if you call her before the baby is born, I might have to throw you out of the delivery room too.
Confession #976
You refuse to spend time with our kids by yourself. So, I have to go to the gym at 5am, shower and back at home before they wake up at 6. Everyday when I get back, you complain that I was too loud and the garage door woke you up. You are a selfish as*h*le.
Confession #977
I've never been allowed to paint, wallpaper or even do anything to make our house mine. I have gotten lectured about using the oven, the washer, the bbq grill, and the dishwasher.
I'm sorry that things have come to this, but I can't go around for the rest of my life thinking that I am a terrible person who can do no right. I am broken. You think you are better than I am and I just can't play that game anymore.
Confession #978
I am so proud of you for quitting smoking, I know it was worth the bitchy awful shit we went through to get you free of that drug.
Confession #979
I don't feel comfortable coming back to our house because I have had my behaviors corrected for so many years. I am afraid that you'll follow me around telling me how bad I am. How poorly I feed the kids, how rotten my finances are, how fat I am, how I am not as good as you in general. I should have stood my ground with you years ago. I can't do it. I love you too much to criticize you over the petty crap that I am criticized over.
Confession #980
I resent you. I resent you for a lot of things. I resent myself for staying and not saying anything. I resent myself for letting it get to this point in the first place. Do you really believe me when I tell you The Reason we haven't had sex all these years is that I feel like I'm too fat? No....its because of my pent up resentment towards you. I resent my fear of confrontation. I hate it that I feel so scared to tell you how I really feel. If I had been honest with you from the get-go (and honest to the person I was dating at the time too) I wouldn't be where I am today. There it is...I was dating someone seriously when I started dating you. Why did I accept a date with you in the first place? The other someone lived in a different town and I didn't get to see him that much. I'm sorry I didn't tell you then. I'm sorry I've contributed to the reason why we're in the situation we're in now. Why didn't I listen to my spirit alllll those years ago? There were many "forks in the road" and I could feel each wrong decision/choice I made when I made it and still know today where each one is.
Do you actually like living in this lifeless marriage? You reap what you sow and you haven't sown too much into your relationships...except those with your siblings. One time you told me I "whittled" away your inheritance. Do we have expensive, nice things? No. I wish I could repay you but I cannot. I took our kids and did things, fun things, that you were too busy for or didn't want to go with for one reason or another. I was subconsciously (or not so subconsciously?) compensating for your lack of participation and out of sheer resentment for so many things I had not verbalized. If I "whittled" away your inheritance then I guess I've "whittled" away my own. I used my own inheritance and my money from my stocks and bought furniture & carpet for our home. Here we are, driving vehicles that are 15+ yrs old and you have that stupid vehicle from your youth, in the garage that you refuse to give up.
I don't love you. I'm not attracted to you. Truth be told, there's more about you that annoys me than is endearing. I feel -zip- for you, other than the love for you as a person. More truth, I really don't like going to your family reunions and don't want to go ever again. The main reason I went on vacation with the girls in 2000 is to get out of going to your family reunion. I get nauseous when I think of having to go. I don't trust you with my emotional well-being. You have been non-nurturing to this whole family all these years. You never seemed to really be that into me. It took me 14 years to realize that & attach a definition to it. I thought you would've changed. I had hoped marriage would've changed that. Why did you marry me? Why did I marry you? I've never been unfaithful to you, physically. But, I've had an on-going affair in my head with that previous man for years.
Again, I resent you. I resent myself. I am going to work on getting back Myself. I feel I don't have a good enough reason to divorce you...you're not beating me...but then, on the other hand, don't I deserve to be happy and get my joy back? I'm a daughter of the King and I deserve better than this. I'm a good woman. You deserve better than this. You're a decent man. Our children deserve much better than this. They're great people too. We're both too young to have this be 'it', the "all there is" for the rest of our lives.
(By the way-I know that you look at nasty pictures on the internet when you wake up early every Saturday morning. Internet explorer shows me you do 2 things, every Saturday, without fail: check the bank account and look at stupid girlie pictures. Hello?! Don't you think about the internet explorer history? No wonder we get all those freakin' pop-ups!!!!!!)
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
True Wife Confession 97 Lyrics
Confession #961
Sometimes, I'm sad that I'll never really be your Mrs. Usually, it's okay, though. It's sad to me that you think a marriage "always ruins things." I know some really great married couples... And I know we could be one, too. In the end, though, I'd rather have you than a ring. I'm honestly not worried that we'll ever split up.
Confession #962
I love you. I don't love everything about you, but the stuff I don't love, I'm working hard to ignore.
You never close the cabinet doors. You never take the empty toilet paper roll off the holder, you just start a new roll. You're very forgetful. You leave the stove a complete mess after you cook. You don't do the dishes when you say you will, instead waiting 3 or 4 days to do them.
But you keep those cabinets full of food for our family. You clean the bathroom because you know I hate doing it. You bring me home fruit pizza when I'm sick and every night when you get off work, you ask if I need anything. You cook awesome meals using no recipe. You let me sleep late and take care of our daughter, while doing all of the dishes and cleaning the living room.
So who cares? You love me, and our little girl. And I love you both so much that sometimes it hurts. We can get through this, and we will get through this. I'm not giving up on one of the most important people in my life. No way in hell.
Confession #963
Not okay to yell at me when I was in labor for being snippy. You have a baby 2 weeks late with induced labor – then you have the right to lecture me for being snippy.
Confession #964
To my Wife:
You are out of town for the first time in our three plus year relationship. We are both going through separation anxiety. It's really kind-of sweet. When you tell me that you miss me and just didn't realize how much you rely on me for your comfort through my touch, even though you are not a touchy-feely person, well you make my heart melt. You are the love of my life. I can't help but touch you in passing, cuddling you in bed, holding your hand in the car and you let me. You touch me too and I am thankful that after three years you still find me (and my extra weight) attractive and we have amazing sex. You tell me all the time how sexy you find me and how much I turn you on. We have a passion and understanding for each other that I know others search their lives for and never find. Although many people look down on us for the love we share, we will stand strong and love strong and I will love you with every breath I take, until I take no more.
Love,
Your Adoring Wife
Confession #965
I wish she would wear that $250 dollar white gold cross necklace you bought her. Just so I could rip it off her neck. She doesn't deserve such a gift from you.
Confession #966
You say that I can’t burn candles anywhere except on the stovetop. Let’s see, I have owned 2 homes of my own before we got married. I have never burned down the house by lighting a candle in the living room when I am in there watching TV. Get a life, man.
Confession #967
Both of your sons adored you, and you neglected them. You had a calling,
but you also had two precious little boys to raise, and how could they not
come first in all things? They still bear the scars you gave them, and the
worst ones haven't even begun to surface, because your addictions killed you
and now there's one more thing that you chose instead of them, and they have
to live with that for the rest of their lives.
I know, I know, it's complicated, addiction always is...and I loved you, and
that makes it even more complicated...but when my husband, the sweetest,
kindest, most loving man in the world, cries because his Mommy's gone, and
he never did get that attention and love that he deserved...sometimes I hope
you really are watching us from the afterlife so you can see what you did to
him. I wish I could make you understand, but you're dead, and I fear you
never would have gotten it even if you'd survived.
Confession #968
The dog needs to be kicked out of our bed when we are having sex. It is not a turn on to me to be licked in the face or on the leg by the dog when we are messing around. YUCK!!!!
Confession #969
When we have sex, I am thinking about my friend instead of you. It is the only way that I can get off. He and I have been having an affair for over 3 years. And I don't feel any guilt about it at all.
Confession #970
I am so happy to have you back.
Two years ago when you had depression, and we didn’t know what was wrong,
you were so miserable and so was I. I knew you needed help, but didn’t know
what to do. You weren’t the man I married. We finally went to the doctor
together and she knew right away what was wrong and gave you medication. The
meds helped and you were so much better in just a few weeks. But you still
weren’t the same.
Now that you have had the surgery for sleep apnea, and you are getting good
sleep for the first time in years – YOU ARE BACK! I am so thankful. In the
past two weeks you have been the man I married. You are funny, you are
sweet, and you joke and play with the kids. And ROMANCE is BACK…Yay!
Friday night, all the kids were out doing their things and you surprised me.
The house was dark, candles all around, soft music playing – what a nice
surprise.
Welcome home babe!!! I missed you, I love you sooo!
Thank GOD for modern medicine!!!!
Sometimes, I'm sad that I'll never really be your Mrs. Usually, it's okay, though. It's sad to me that you think a marriage "always ruins things." I know some really great married couples... And I know we could be one, too. In the end, though, I'd rather have you than a ring. I'm honestly not worried that we'll ever split up.
Confession #962
I love you. I don't love everything about you, but the stuff I don't love, I'm working hard to ignore.
You never close the cabinet doors. You never take the empty toilet paper roll off the holder, you just start a new roll. You're very forgetful. You leave the stove a complete mess after you cook. You don't do the dishes when you say you will, instead waiting 3 or 4 days to do them.
But you keep those cabinets full of food for our family. You clean the bathroom because you know I hate doing it. You bring me home fruit pizza when I'm sick and every night when you get off work, you ask if I need anything. You cook awesome meals using no recipe. You let me sleep late and take care of our daughter, while doing all of the dishes and cleaning the living room.
So who cares? You love me, and our little girl. And I love you both so much that sometimes it hurts. We can get through this, and we will get through this. I'm not giving up on one of the most important people in my life. No way in hell.
Confession #963
Not okay to yell at me when I was in labor for being snippy. You have a baby 2 weeks late with induced labor – then you have the right to lecture me for being snippy.
Confession #964
To my Wife:
You are out of town for the first time in our three plus year relationship. We are both going through separation anxiety. It's really kind-of sweet. When you tell me that you miss me and just didn't realize how much you rely on me for your comfort through my touch, even though you are not a touchy-feely person, well you make my heart melt. You are the love of my life. I can't help but touch you in passing, cuddling you in bed, holding your hand in the car and you let me. You touch me too and I am thankful that after three years you still find me (and my extra weight) attractive and we have amazing sex. You tell me all the time how sexy you find me and how much I turn you on. We have a passion and understanding for each other that I know others search their lives for and never find. Although many people look down on us for the love we share, we will stand strong and love strong and I will love you with every breath I take, until I take no more.
Love,
Your Adoring Wife
Confession #965
I wish she would wear that $250 dollar white gold cross necklace you bought her. Just so I could rip it off her neck. She doesn't deserve such a gift from you.
Confession #966
You say that I can’t burn candles anywhere except on the stovetop. Let’s see, I have owned 2 homes of my own before we got married. I have never burned down the house by lighting a candle in the living room when I am in there watching TV. Get a life, man.
Confession #967
Both of your sons adored you, and you neglected them. You had a calling,
but you also had two precious little boys to raise, and how could they not
come first in all things? They still bear the scars you gave them, and the
worst ones haven't even begun to surface, because your addictions killed you
and now there's one more thing that you chose instead of them, and they have
to live with that for the rest of their lives.
I know, I know, it's complicated, addiction always is...and I loved you, and
that makes it even more complicated...but when my husband, the sweetest,
kindest, most loving man in the world, cries because his Mommy's gone, and
he never did get that attention and love that he deserved...sometimes I hope
you really are watching us from the afterlife so you can see what you did to
him. I wish I could make you understand, but you're dead, and I fear you
never would have gotten it even if you'd survived.
Confession #968
The dog needs to be kicked out of our bed when we are having sex. It is not a turn on to me to be licked in the face or on the leg by the dog when we are messing around. YUCK!!!!
Confession #969
When we have sex, I am thinking about my friend instead of you. It is the only way that I can get off. He and I have been having an affair for over 3 years. And I don't feel any guilt about it at all.
Confession #970
I am so happy to have you back.
Two years ago when you had depression, and we didn’t know what was wrong,
you were so miserable and so was I. I knew you needed help, but didn’t know
what to do. You weren’t the man I married. We finally went to the doctor
together and she knew right away what was wrong and gave you medication. The
meds helped and you were so much better in just a few weeks. But you still
weren’t the same.
Now that you have had the surgery for sleep apnea, and you are getting good
sleep for the first time in years – YOU ARE BACK! I am so thankful. In the
past two weeks you have been the man I married. You are funny, you are
sweet, and you joke and play with the kids. And ROMANCE is BACK…Yay!
Friday night, all the kids were out doing their things and you surprised me.
The house was dark, candles all around, soft music playing – what a nice
surprise.
Welcome home babe!!! I missed you, I love you sooo!
Thank GOD for modern medicine!!!!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
True Wife Confession 96, South Carolina
Confession #951
I offered to take us to Jamaica for our anniversary. I was paying. I found a good deal on the Internet. You insisted that your friend's wife would be able to get a better deal. So, I let you take over the arrangements. Well, our anniversary is coming up and we aren't going anywhere.
Confession #952
Does your wife know that you call me? Does your wife know the emails and pictures you sent me exist? Does she know that when you came home from Iraq that it was me you wanted to see? That we had the chance, and did not meet. That we both stayed faithful, in name, to our marriages? Does she know that if not for your children and mine, you would have come to me? That you still think about me and watch me from afar? And that I watch you, watching me. And how terribly sad all of this makes me?
Confession #953
At times, I wish you'd die. It would be easier on me and the kids than getting a divorce.
Confession #954
I can't believe you had the nerve to ask me what was wrong with me because I've been bitchy lately.
Lets think about this for a minute, ok? We have bills up to the eyeballs and you don't seem to want to help work to pay them off. Five months of doing dick all and now that you have a job, you've only gone there 50% of the time. Seems like you're perfectly happy to have me work my ass off so you can sit on your ass all day. I should be asking what's wrong with YOU!
Confession #955
when you stay in the shower for 27 minutes And I am waiting to get in there, I turn the hot water on in the kitchen and let it run so you will think you have used all the hot water and get out of the damn shower.
Confession #956
When we are supposed to go out on a date, you should not call a college buddy while were on our way out the door. You spent the evening reminiscing with him about how great fraternity life was 20 years ago. I spent the evening dressed up and working on my scrapbooks. Great date night. I can see where I rank in your life.
Confession #957
"I didn't know what to get you so I didn't get you anything" is the most selfish thing I 've every heard regarding my birthday and Valentine's Day present. It isn't what you get someone but rather the acknowledgement.
Confession #958
You are going bald, yes honey I noticed.
Confession #959
Not okay to leave the hospital when I am in labor. You almost missed the birth of our daughter because you left to feed the dog. I called you at home right before I started pushing. I was in labor for less than 8 hours to include the 10 minutes of pushing. The fat, lazy dog could have waited.
Confession #960
A confession to a confessor: Hey Number 747, I am 744, and to you I say "come to the dark side" But be forewarned it is a dark place, lonely sometimes, stressful always, and not one much looked on with love and affection by others. You may find yourself with no one to talk to, and no one who understands, and those who know will judge you.
I offered to take us to Jamaica for our anniversary. I was paying. I found a good deal on the Internet. You insisted that your friend's wife would be able to get a better deal. So, I let you take over the arrangements. Well, our anniversary is coming up and we aren't going anywhere.
Confession #952
Does your wife know that you call me? Does your wife know the emails and pictures you sent me exist? Does she know that when you came home from Iraq that it was me you wanted to see? That we had the chance, and did not meet. That we both stayed faithful, in name, to our marriages? Does she know that if not for your children and mine, you would have come to me? That you still think about me and watch me from afar? And that I watch you, watching me. And how terribly sad all of this makes me?
Confession #953
At times, I wish you'd die. It would be easier on me and the kids than getting a divorce.
Confession #954
I can't believe you had the nerve to ask me what was wrong with me because I've been bitchy lately.
Lets think about this for a minute, ok? We have bills up to the eyeballs and you don't seem to want to help work to pay them off. Five months of doing dick all and now that you have a job, you've only gone there 50% of the time. Seems like you're perfectly happy to have me work my ass off so you can sit on your ass all day. I should be asking what's wrong with YOU!
Confession #955
when you stay in the shower for 27 minutes And I am waiting to get in there, I turn the hot water on in the kitchen and let it run so you will think you have used all the hot water and get out of the damn shower.
Confession #956
When we are supposed to go out on a date, you should not call a college buddy while were on our way out the door. You spent the evening reminiscing with him about how great fraternity life was 20 years ago. I spent the evening dressed up and working on my scrapbooks. Great date night. I can see where I rank in your life.
Confession #957
"I didn't know what to get you so I didn't get you anything" is the most selfish thing I 've every heard regarding my birthday and Valentine's Day present. It isn't what you get someone but rather the acknowledgement.
Confession #958
You are going bald, yes honey I noticed.
Confession #959
Not okay to leave the hospital when I am in labor. You almost missed the birth of our daughter because you left to feed the dog. I called you at home right before I started pushing. I was in labor for less than 8 hours to include the 10 minutes of pushing. The fat, lazy dog could have waited.
Confession #960
A confession to a confessor: Hey Number 747, I am 744, and to you I say "come to the dark side" But be forewarned it is a dark place, lonely sometimes, stressful always, and not one much looked on with love and affection by others. You may find yourself with no one to talk to, and no one who understands, and those who know will judge you.
Monday, October 16, 2006
True Wife Confessions 95 Theses posted by Martin Luther
Confession #941
Dear Husband,
I tell you that my period lasts longer than it does so I don't have to start having sex with you so soon afterwards. I can show affection without you assuming we'll get busy. This also allows me to fall asleep earlier because we are not staying up for sex.
Sure, I am in the mood but I can take care of that quick and effectively with my little friend.
Confession #942
You've hurt me more than I think I can forgive. You cheated on me not once but 2 times. And why? Cause you weren't getting enough? No you did it in a childish attempt to get me back cause I payed some bills late. That's plain out fucked up and I honestly don't know if I love you anymore. I think I stay with you only because I have no way to support myself and our 4 kids. Most likely once they are all out of the house I will leave you.
Confession #943
this morning you got up and let the dog out even though it was my turn to do it. i got to sleep 10 extra minutes. but instead, i just layed in bed and thought about how thankful i was to you for that little favor for those extra 10 minutes. it was a great way to start the day. thank you.
then you sent me beautiful flowers at work. that card said that you were "Thinking of me." Thank you. You have no idea how much that meant to me. i know that you love me. (you say it all the time.) but now, i look over on my desk and i SEE that you love me all day. and that means so much to me. i feel special all day. i feel loved. and safe. and chosen. thank you. thank you thank you thank you. i am a lucky girl.
Confession #944
When you are away on business trips I go through your old stuff in the basement that you have not looked at in years. Quite often, when I am done I have 3 boxes. 1 for goodwill, 1 for the trash and 1 really small box with stuff I put back. If you knew I did this you would be furious, but you have never asked about anything that I have removed. Ever.
Confession #945
I am finally beginning to love you again.
Confession #946
Remember that time we and those other people went camping for the weekend. Remember the other couple fighting? Remember how I wanted to leave because I was so miserable. And how our other friend was going to give me a ride home since you didn't want to leave. The only reason I didn't is cause I knew what would have happened. I've wanted that friend for a long time but have never acted on it. I know we would have had sex. That man showed me more compassion that day than you had in a LONG time. When I got extremely scared of something almost to the point of a panic attack and was bawling who was holding me comforting me? You should have been but it was HIM. You were making fun of me for crying and HE was the one consoling me. He truly cared you were just being an insensitive ass.
And the kicker is I wish I would have let him take me home. I regret all the time that I didn't. And now that he isn't with anyone, well I thought about doing it anyways. He and I have always had mutual feelings for each other.
Confession #947
The kids are yours. I know you work with some lovely people (sarcasm) who said that I am a wh*re. I am not. It hurts that you'd believe the lovely ladies that you work with over me. The kids are yours. We tried together for 7 months to have our daughter. On the ride to the hospital to have our son, you again, accused me of cheating and said some really rude things. You did the same thing when we had our daughter. I have never cheated on you. However, keep pushing and I will. You want me to forgive you for saying those things. To me, however, those are the most hurtful things someone could say to me. I will never forget. They are always lying in the back of my mind.
Confession #948
I bought my first car on my own recently. I was tickled pick. It is a really nice Mom-mobile. You couldn't just let me enjoy it for a few days. On the way home, you began to criticize me for the interest rate I got. You began to pick apart the car and tell me I got ripped off. Let me enjoy my new car. You, my husband, wouldn't co-sign or help me negotiate. So, back off buster.
Confession #949
I knew that something was going on when you came home from your last deployment. I found the calling card, I tracked down the numbers, I knew her name. I still have the numbers. I am not the fool you took me for. I know that you have not had any contact with her for over a year and that what contact you had was not physical but I am still mother fucking pissed.
Now that I do know the truth (and after much insistance) all the details about your 'special friend', I am not sure I want to leave. I can be big enough to realize that I wasn't always the wife I should have been or the wife you deserved. Doesn't make it right. However, it would behoove you to understand that if you ever fuck with my emotions or the emotions or our children again I will never look back.
Confession #950
I would never, ever cheat on you, but I hope someday to get to fuck a thin man. Your weight loss surgery can't come quick enough because you're the thin man I want.
Dear Husband,
I tell you that my period lasts longer than it does so I don't have to start having sex with you so soon afterwards. I can show affection without you assuming we'll get busy. This also allows me to fall asleep earlier because we are not staying up for sex.
Sure, I am in the mood but I can take care of that quick and effectively with my little friend.
Confession #942
You've hurt me more than I think I can forgive. You cheated on me not once but 2 times. And why? Cause you weren't getting enough? No you did it in a childish attempt to get me back cause I payed some bills late. That's plain out fucked up and I honestly don't know if I love you anymore. I think I stay with you only because I have no way to support myself and our 4 kids. Most likely once they are all out of the house I will leave you.
Confession #943
this morning you got up and let the dog out even though it was my turn to do it. i got to sleep 10 extra minutes. but instead, i just layed in bed and thought about how thankful i was to you for that little favor for those extra 10 minutes. it was a great way to start the day. thank you.
then you sent me beautiful flowers at work. that card said that you were "Thinking of me." Thank you. You have no idea how much that meant to me. i know that you love me. (you say it all the time.) but now, i look over on my desk and i SEE that you love me all day. and that means so much to me. i feel special all day. i feel loved. and safe. and chosen. thank you. thank you thank you thank you. i am a lucky girl.
Confession #944
When you are away on business trips I go through your old stuff in the basement that you have not looked at in years. Quite often, when I am done I have 3 boxes. 1 for goodwill, 1 for the trash and 1 really small box with stuff I put back. If you knew I did this you would be furious, but you have never asked about anything that I have removed. Ever.
Confession #945
I am finally beginning to love you again.
Confession #946
Remember that time we and those other people went camping for the weekend. Remember the other couple fighting? Remember how I wanted to leave because I was so miserable. And how our other friend was going to give me a ride home since you didn't want to leave. The only reason I didn't is cause I knew what would have happened. I've wanted that friend for a long time but have never acted on it. I know we would have had sex. That man showed me more compassion that day than you had in a LONG time. When I got extremely scared of something almost to the point of a panic attack and was bawling who was holding me comforting me? You should have been but it was HIM. You were making fun of me for crying and HE was the one consoling me. He truly cared you were just being an insensitive ass.
And the kicker is I wish I would have let him take me home. I regret all the time that I didn't. And now that he isn't with anyone, well I thought about doing it anyways. He and I have always had mutual feelings for each other.
Confession #947
The kids are yours. I know you work with some lovely people (sarcasm) who said that I am a wh*re. I am not. It hurts that you'd believe the lovely ladies that you work with over me. The kids are yours. We tried together for 7 months to have our daughter. On the ride to the hospital to have our son, you again, accused me of cheating and said some really rude things. You did the same thing when we had our daughter. I have never cheated on you. However, keep pushing and I will. You want me to forgive you for saying those things. To me, however, those are the most hurtful things someone could say to me. I will never forget. They are always lying in the back of my mind.
Confession #948
I bought my first car on my own recently. I was tickled pick. It is a really nice Mom-mobile. You couldn't just let me enjoy it for a few days. On the way home, you began to criticize me for the interest rate I got. You began to pick apart the car and tell me I got ripped off. Let me enjoy my new car. You, my husband, wouldn't co-sign or help me negotiate. So, back off buster.
Confession #949
I knew that something was going on when you came home from your last deployment. I found the calling card, I tracked down the numbers, I knew her name. I still have the numbers. I am not the fool you took me for. I know that you have not had any contact with her for over a year and that what contact you had was not physical but I am still mother fucking pissed.
Now that I do know the truth (and after much insistance) all the details about your 'special friend', I am not sure I want to leave. I can be big enough to realize that I wasn't always the wife I should have been or the wife you deserved. Doesn't make it right. However, it would behoove you to understand that if you ever fuck with my emotions or the emotions or our children again I will never look back.
Confession #950
I would never, ever cheat on you, but I hope someday to get to fuck a thin man. Your weight loss surgery can't come quick enough because you're the thin man I want.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
True Wife Confessions 94, Haydens Surprise symphony
Confession #931
I know why you won't move us back home. You know that if I get within driving distance of my family that I will leave you. And you are right.
Confession #932
The kids and I moved out and you didn’t notice. You called me at work 3 days later to see if you could deploy someplace tropical. You needed someone to watch the stupid dog. We were sleeping on our friends’ floors until we could save up enough money to get an apartment. You are more concerned about the stupid dog’s welfare than you are about me and the kids.
Confession #934
Why is it okay for you to spend $1000 a payday gambling and then lecture me on why I ran short of money this payday. You make more money than I do. I am responsible for everything but the house payment - even the kids Birthday and Christmas presents. At your insistence we have separate accounts. That is fine, if the bills are divided more equally. But, they aren’t. So, your kids suffer because you are a selfish person.
Confession #935
I have to confess -- I don't miss the sex at all. You weren't very good anyway. I haven't initiated anything during the past year for precisely that reason. And you haven't, either, so you must feel the same way. What a relief to be done with that. No more sex with you ever again. Yahoo!
Confession #936
Okay, so you didn’t like the dinner that I made tonight. Stuffed cabbage isn’t so bad. It is not okay to leave as I’m putting dinner on the table and go out to dinner by yourself.
Confession #937
finally somehere, i can finally get this off my chest. I really hate you, i never really loved you, you were my way out. After all this time i have hated every time you have touched, kissed me, caressed me. and finally when i find someone who wants me you will not let me go. you already now i can't stand you.so why continue with this.
Confession #938
Let me start by saying that I have guilt over this and am not proud of it at all. That being said:
Last year when you were in the hospital and the doctors thought that you might die, all I could think about was finally being able to live my own life without you and how wonderful it would be. I thought about how I would spend the life insurance, how quickly I could sell the house and move, and what I would do with all of your things. Then you got better. There was a small part of me that was really pissed off at you for that. I don't hate you, but I know that if I tried to leave that you would make my life as much like hell as you could because it would wound your pride for me to leave.
The thoughts just keep coming back every time you get sick now. And I really hate myself for thinking it.
Confession #939
“You aren’t my Mom” is not the right answer for Mother’s Day presents. You, as our kids Dad, should help the kids make a card for me or help them buy a $5 bouquet of flowers. You had money enough to buy yourself a nice pair of tennis shoes, but not enough to buy a card and have the kids sign it. Oh yeah – you don’t buy your Mom a present or a card. Can’t use that as an excuse.
Confession #940
If you ask me to do something - I am all over it - Done! If I ask you to do something around the house that we both benefit from - why don't you just get it over with? It snowed! Take the air conditioner out of the window! Don't ask me to not leave you reminder notes. Notes work more often than not and I am getting so tired of you saying "I will!", but don't.
STOP PROCRASTINATING EVERY LITTLE THING!
I know why you won't move us back home. You know that if I get within driving distance of my family that I will leave you. And you are right.
Confession #932
The kids and I moved out and you didn’t notice. You called me at work 3 days later to see if you could deploy someplace tropical. You needed someone to watch the stupid dog. We were sleeping on our friends’ floors until we could save up enough money to get an apartment. You are more concerned about the stupid dog’s welfare than you are about me and the kids.
Confession #934
Why is it okay for you to spend $1000 a payday gambling and then lecture me on why I ran short of money this payday. You make more money than I do. I am responsible for everything but the house payment - even the kids Birthday and Christmas presents. At your insistence we have separate accounts. That is fine, if the bills are divided more equally. But, they aren’t. So, your kids suffer because you are a selfish person.
Confession #935
I have to confess -- I don't miss the sex at all. You weren't very good anyway. I haven't initiated anything during the past year for precisely that reason. And you haven't, either, so you must feel the same way. What a relief to be done with that. No more sex with you ever again. Yahoo!
Confession #936
Okay, so you didn’t like the dinner that I made tonight. Stuffed cabbage isn’t so bad. It is not okay to leave as I’m putting dinner on the table and go out to dinner by yourself.
Confession #937
finally somehere, i can finally get this off my chest. I really hate you, i never really loved you, you were my way out. After all this time i have hated every time you have touched, kissed me, caressed me. and finally when i find someone who wants me you will not let me go. you already now i can't stand you.so why continue with this.
Confession #938
Let me start by saying that I have guilt over this and am not proud of it at all. That being said:
Last year when you were in the hospital and the doctors thought that you might die, all I could think about was finally being able to live my own life without you and how wonderful it would be. I thought about how I would spend the life insurance, how quickly I could sell the house and move, and what I would do with all of your things. Then you got better. There was a small part of me that was really pissed off at you for that. I don't hate you, but I know that if I tried to leave that you would make my life as much like hell as you could because it would wound your pride for me to leave.
The thoughts just keep coming back every time you get sick now. And I really hate myself for thinking it.
Confession #939
“You aren’t my Mom” is not the right answer for Mother’s Day presents. You, as our kids Dad, should help the kids make a card for me or help them buy a $5 bouquet of flowers. You had money enough to buy yourself a nice pair of tennis shoes, but not enough to buy a card and have the kids sign it. Oh yeah – you don’t buy your Mom a present or a card. Can’t use that as an excuse.
Confession #940
If you ask me to do something - I am all over it - Done! If I ask you to do something around the house that we both benefit from - why don't you just get it over with? It snowed! Take the air conditioner out of the window! Don't ask me to not leave you reminder notes. Notes work more often than not and I am getting so tired of you saying "I will!", but don't.
STOP PROCRASTINATING EVERY LITTLE THING!
Friday, October 13, 2006
True Wife Confessions 93 by Victor Hugo
Confession #921
Dear B:
You know I love and respect you with all my heart but I feel extremely
disrespected by your friends and your failure to speak up when the question
is asked concerning our 4 kids "How could I do that to you?" If my memory
serves me correct it's what you were doing to me when I conceived. We made
these kids together so I did nothing to you. I know you love our kids and
take it jokingly when the question is asked, but I am so tired of it now and
I know you recognize it. Be a man and speak up or I will. And I know you
don’t want ME to do that. Now do you?
Another thing, I know you feel that it's your calling to mentor and help the
disadvantaged young men that you come in contract with, but must you invite
them all to dinner at our house. I love what you do for these young men and
how you are trying to make a difference in their lives, but babe it's
starting to wear on me. With no prior notice to me you invite them over and
I am the one left to cook more food and make last minute accommodations. I
have asked you to take them out to eat sometimes. Trust I will not feel
neglected or left out. I understand you try to show them how a family
functions but a boys' only dinner at a decent restaurant every so often will
truly be a load off of my back. I don't want to do anything to discourage
your efforts or make anyone feel unwelcome but you know we do have 4 kids.
Confession #922
904 is back. Thank you, TWC, for giving me somewhere to clear my head and
spill my feelings. I spoke to my husband after I saw how sad and pathetic
and needy I looked in my confession, and we talked about everything I was
feeling.Things aren't perfect, but they are better. He say he will try
harder to give me more of what I need, and I will try harder to remember
that everyone loves in a different way...and even though he shows his love
differently than I do (or would like) he still loves me.
Confession #923
The other night when I tossed the address book your way, it was supposed to be a reminder to put it away when you're finished. I didn't mean to throw it hard enough to make the pages spill everywhere and for that I'm sorry. But when you put it back together in the half-assed way that you did, it's just teaching our kids (who were both watching you, by the way) that it's okay to not do your best. It's no wonder why are having a hard time getting our oldest son to get motivated about pretty much anything. At his age, you're his hero and he wants to do everything like you do, so buck up and do your best. I know you've got it in you, I've seen it. Just let it out at home once in a while like you do at work every day.
Confession #924
I am so very tired of being told every day that I do not do anything. I work full time, take care of the child, the pets, the housework, the yard work and run almost all of the errands. You work full time. That is about it. I know that I do not bring in most of the income, but that is no reason to treat me like your personal assistant. If you want things done, please take care of them yourself. You are an adult, start acting like it. I am not your mother, I am not your maid, and I am definitely not your slave. I am not going to kill myself with work for the rest of my life in a futile attempt to make you happy. I know that no matter how much I do you will always find something to pick at. I can have all the laundry done but you will complain that the living room needs to be picked up. I can pick up around the house and you will complain that I should have cut the grass instead. There is no pleasing you and I am not going to even try anymore. So, if you want a Martha Stewart clean house, I suggest that you tear yourself away from your online gaming, get a scrub brush, get down on your knees and do it yourself. This is not the 50's, I am not June Cleaver and you are not Ward. Housework is no longer the sole responsibility of the woman. Welcome to the 21st century. You can either deal with it, or get out.
Confession #925
As I read confessions from other women, it makes me realize even more how lucky I am. Not a day goes by that you don't treat me with love and respect. After almost five years my heart still races when I know you're coming home. My body fits perfectly into yours when we sleep. Some of my favorite moments are snuggled on the couch doing nothing with you.
You were there for me when my mom got sick and held my hand through my depression that followed. That means the world to me.
You tell me that I'm the woman of your dreams. That we are meant to be. I can't wait to one day be your wife.
Thank you. Thank you for being such a wonderful man.
I love you with my whole heart.
Confession #926
I like living by myself and I'm not sure I want to marry you. We've made plans to get married and I've been waiting patiently, but I'm not sure I want to now. Plus, another reason I don't want to marry you is because I can't stand your crazy ass family. They are a bunch of alcoholics and your mom grabs my boobs. I want to punch her when she does that.
Confession #927
Waking up with your erection in my ass is hardly foreplay. Yes, occasionally I like quickies too, but every time is a bit much. AND while I am talking about it, constantly wanting to fuck me from behind? I like the position as much as the next girl, but variety is welcome. Plus it kind of makes me feel irrelevant to the whole act. You could be fucking anyone.
Confession #928
to the girl in the next cubicle:
Please blow your nose. It's gross that you sit there all day, sniffing that same snot up your nose. You're a pretty girl, have a nice personality, but your manners are atrocious. No wonder you are still desperate and single at your age.
Get some tissue. Oh, and wash your hands every time you use the bathroom. We've all seen you leave there without doing it.
You mom would be embarrassed.
Confession #929
Today I met a man who kissed me like I should be kissed. All the pecks you give me? All the half assed kisses? All the avoidance of kissing during sex?
It isn't me - it's you. This man lit me up inside with a kiss. Nothing more.
I do not plan to divorce you, but I do plan to sleep with this man. I deserve to feel beautiful. I deserve to feel desired and regardless of what you say to me, your actions never tell me this. I've asked and asked, and things never change.
I take responsibility for breaking my vow of fidelity to you in our marriage - but even a plant needs some sunlight, and I have been in the dark too long.
Confession #930
To my Ex-Husband:
I hate you more than I thought it possible to hate anyone. Over the course of 13 years you destroyed my self-esteem, my self-worth, and as a result, my career.
When I finally got up the strength to leave your lying, narcissistic ass, you started with the games-playing. First the "oh-please-don't-do-this-come-home," and when I stood my ground, you got nasty. You turned what should have been a cut-and-dried divorce into a year of hell, and all to get back at me. You hid money from the attorneys. You insulted and belittled me. You neglected our cats until they both had to be euthanized. I will NEVER, EVER forgive you for that.
And all through this, you never once accepted any of the blame for your actions. You never acknowledged that your drinking, pot smoking, and porn addiction - and your lying about it - undermined our relationship. That you might have been wrong to insist that we build that half-a-million dollar house, never mind that we couldn't afford it, but because you wanted it so badly...then all of a sudden you didn't want to work to pay for it, leaving me to work whatever second and third jobs I could find and still scramble to find ways to pay the bills each month. You didn't care - you already had what you wanted. I was just your accountant, maid, personal shopper, laundress, cook, pet sitter, and whore (oh, and BTW, you 15-second wonder...I *hated* having sex with you!!!!!).
And as the icing on the cake, you had the absolute GALL to go around to our friends, even to MY friends, and sweet-talk them, cry on their shoulders, and do your best to convince them that you're not really a bad guy - that this mess was all *my* fault, and I'm the one who's screwed up. It took me a long time to realize that the ones who believed you, and turned their backs on me, were never my friends in the first place.
You're a prick. You're a whiny, weenie, backstabbing, addiction-riddled, selfish, self-obsessed, narcissistic momma's boy who will NEVER be happy. And if you think you can get away with stalking me, guess again. I'll have you thrown in jail so fast your head will spin.
Get out of my life, you worthless LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear B:
You know I love and respect you with all my heart but I feel extremely
disrespected by your friends and your failure to speak up when the question
is asked concerning our 4 kids "How could I do that to you?" If my memory
serves me correct it's what you were doing to me when I conceived. We made
these kids together so I did nothing to you. I know you love our kids and
take it jokingly when the question is asked, but I am so tired of it now and
I know you recognize it. Be a man and speak up or I will. And I know you
don’t want ME to do that. Now do you?
Another thing, I know you feel that it's your calling to mentor and help the
disadvantaged young men that you come in contract with, but must you invite
them all to dinner at our house. I love what you do for these young men and
how you are trying to make a difference in their lives, but babe it's
starting to wear on me. With no prior notice to me you invite them over and
I am the one left to cook more food and make last minute accommodations. I
have asked you to take them out to eat sometimes. Trust I will not feel
neglected or left out. I understand you try to show them how a family
functions but a boys' only dinner at a decent restaurant every so often will
truly be a load off of my back. I don't want to do anything to discourage
your efforts or make anyone feel unwelcome but you know we do have 4 kids.
Confession #922
904 is back. Thank you, TWC, for giving me somewhere to clear my head and
spill my feelings. I spoke to my husband after I saw how sad and pathetic
and needy I looked in my confession, and we talked about everything I was
feeling.Things aren't perfect, but they are better. He say he will try
harder to give me more of what I need, and I will try harder to remember
that everyone loves in a different way...and even though he shows his love
differently than I do (or would like) he still loves me.
Confession #923
The other night when I tossed the address book your way, it was supposed to be a reminder to put it away when you're finished. I didn't mean to throw it hard enough to make the pages spill everywhere and for that I'm sorry. But when you put it back together in the half-assed way that you did, it's just teaching our kids (who were both watching you, by the way) that it's okay to not do your best. It's no wonder why are having a hard time getting our oldest son to get motivated about pretty much anything. At his age, you're his hero and he wants to do everything like you do, so buck up and do your best. I know you've got it in you, I've seen it. Just let it out at home once in a while like you do at work every day.
Confession #924
I am so very tired of being told every day that I do not do anything. I work full time, take care of the child, the pets, the housework, the yard work and run almost all of the errands. You work full time. That is about it. I know that I do not bring in most of the income, but that is no reason to treat me like your personal assistant. If you want things done, please take care of them yourself. You are an adult, start acting like it. I am not your mother, I am not your maid, and I am definitely not your slave. I am not going to kill myself with work for the rest of my life in a futile attempt to make you happy. I know that no matter how much I do you will always find something to pick at. I can have all the laundry done but you will complain that the living room needs to be picked up. I can pick up around the house and you will complain that I should have cut the grass instead. There is no pleasing you and I am not going to even try anymore. So, if you want a Martha Stewart clean house, I suggest that you tear yourself away from your online gaming, get a scrub brush, get down on your knees and do it yourself. This is not the 50's, I am not June Cleaver and you are not Ward. Housework is no longer the sole responsibility of the woman. Welcome to the 21st century. You can either deal with it, or get out.
Confession #925
As I read confessions from other women, it makes me realize even more how lucky I am. Not a day goes by that you don't treat me with love and respect. After almost five years my heart still races when I know you're coming home. My body fits perfectly into yours when we sleep. Some of my favorite moments are snuggled on the couch doing nothing with you.
You were there for me when my mom got sick and held my hand through my depression that followed. That means the world to me.
You tell me that I'm the woman of your dreams. That we are meant to be. I can't wait to one day be your wife.
Thank you. Thank you for being such a wonderful man.
I love you with my whole heart.
Confession #926
I like living by myself and I'm not sure I want to marry you. We've made plans to get married and I've been waiting patiently, but I'm not sure I want to now. Plus, another reason I don't want to marry you is because I can't stand your crazy ass family. They are a bunch of alcoholics and your mom grabs my boobs. I want to punch her when she does that.
Confession #927
Waking up with your erection in my ass is hardly foreplay. Yes, occasionally I like quickies too, but every time is a bit much. AND while I am talking about it, constantly wanting to fuck me from behind? I like the position as much as the next girl, but variety is welcome. Plus it kind of makes me feel irrelevant to the whole act. You could be fucking anyone.
Confession #928
to the girl in the next cubicle:
Please blow your nose. It's gross that you sit there all day, sniffing that same snot up your nose. You're a pretty girl, have a nice personality, but your manners are atrocious. No wonder you are still desperate and single at your age.
Get some tissue. Oh, and wash your hands every time you use the bathroom. We've all seen you leave there without doing it.
You mom would be embarrassed.
Confession #929
Today I met a man who kissed me like I should be kissed. All the pecks you give me? All the half assed kisses? All the avoidance of kissing during sex?
It isn't me - it's you. This man lit me up inside with a kiss. Nothing more.
I do not plan to divorce you, but I do plan to sleep with this man. I deserve to feel beautiful. I deserve to feel desired and regardless of what you say to me, your actions never tell me this. I've asked and asked, and things never change.
I take responsibility for breaking my vow of fidelity to you in our marriage - but even a plant needs some sunlight, and I have been in the dark too long.
Confession #930
To my Ex-Husband:
I hate you more than I thought it possible to hate anyone. Over the course of 13 years you destroyed my self-esteem, my self-worth, and as a result, my career.
When I finally got up the strength to leave your lying, narcissistic ass, you started with the games-playing. First the "oh-please-don't-do-this-come-home," and when I stood my ground, you got nasty. You turned what should have been a cut-and-dried divorce into a year of hell, and all to get back at me. You hid money from the attorneys. You insulted and belittled me. You neglected our cats until they both had to be euthanized. I will NEVER, EVER forgive you for that.
And all through this, you never once accepted any of the blame for your actions. You never acknowledged that your drinking, pot smoking, and porn addiction - and your lying about it - undermined our relationship. That you might have been wrong to insist that we build that half-a-million dollar house, never mind that we couldn't afford it, but because you wanted it so badly...then all of a sudden you didn't want to work to pay for it, leaving me to work whatever second and third jobs I could find and still scramble to find ways to pay the bills each month. You didn't care - you already had what you wanted. I was just your accountant, maid, personal shopper, laundress, cook, pet sitter, and whore (oh, and BTW, you 15-second wonder...I *hated* having sex with you!!!!!).
And as the icing on the cake, you had the absolute GALL to go around to our friends, even to MY friends, and sweet-talk them, cry on their shoulders, and do your best to convince them that you're not really a bad guy - that this mess was all *my* fault, and I'm the one who's screwed up. It took me a long time to realize that the ones who believed you, and turned their backs on me, were never my friends in the first place.
You're a prick. You're a whiny, weenie, backstabbing, addiction-riddled, selfish, self-obsessed, narcissistic momma's boy who will NEVER be happy. And if you think you can get away with stalking me, guess again. I'll have you thrown in jail so fast your head will spin.
Get out of my life, you worthless LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
TWC 92 Resolutions...part 2
Confession #916
Seriously--stop flushing the freakin' toilet before you are finished peeing.
I get the whole guy thing of "courtesy flushing" when you are doing the
other (although I do NOT get the reason for staying in there for 30 minutes)
but really--do not flush until you are finished. It's weird and it's gross.
No--you DO NOT time it perfectly so that it will all be taken down the
drain. There are still bubbles and a yellow tint to the water when I go in
there. It freaks me out. It makes me want to vomit. There are GERMS in
pee and I don't want you to leave them in there! I have to go to a
different bathroom in the house whenever you do this! It's gross!
Also--I'm pretty damn sure I NEVER get pee on the seat, under the seat,
around the base of the toilet, or on the floor in front of/around the
toilet--clean it the hell up!
Confession #917
There are so many things that suck about our current situation, and I KNOW that they are just that: situational. I know that situations are temporary, and that one day you will have a job and not be sick and I will be able to do at least some of the things I dream about doing. But I don't see an easy solution for now. When I picture the future, I never see the distant future where we can theoretically have a normal life. I always just see the next several months or years where I know things will still suck.
I love you, but I have to confess: I imagine you dying and things getting better. I don't want to lose you, of course, but I imagine myself being much more able to cope with losing a husband than with another year of this crap. And I'm ashamed of my fantasy, but I can't keep it out of my head.
Confession #918
I know I should feel lucky to have you.You are a great dad ,provider and help with the housework but......Why can't you be better in bed? I have never,ever had an orgasm while you were in the room unless a vibrator was involved. Not only do you suck in bed,you rarely even want sex.
You have driven me to meet men online and hook up with them for sex.I wish you would be a little more adventurous.We could be having such awesome sex if only you would quit being so uptight.What man doesn't want to have sex with 2 women at once? Apparently you!
Confession #919
You are a great guy. i love you so much. But dude, when I have a
raging sore throat, fever, and chills and have spent the whole day at
home with our four children, homeschooling them and breastfeeding
them and dragging my sick butt off of the couch to feed them, I NEED
YOU TO COME STRAIGHT HOME FROM WORK!!! Yes, a few minutes does make
a difference. I know you dont get sick very often, but sometimes I
wish you would just so you can remember what it feels like to have a
cold.
Confession #920
I think on divorce decrees they should add the following for reason of divorce:
-Failed to put a new garbage bag in pail (I mean, c'mon...yes, you take out the garbage, good job...but put a new one in , please!!!).
-Left clothing on floor RIGHT NEXT TO basket (Really? Can you not SEE it??)
-Put food in sink after the kids are done eating (I'm sorry, did I forget to mention AGAIN that we do not have a disposal in our sink...sorry.....and I WILL hit you with a spatula every time you do this...you think you would stop...maybe you like it?)
-Takes the highschair tray off, and leaves it on counter (When CLEARLY it would be too much trouble to just PUT IT BACK).
Babe, I truly love you. But these things, and others that don't come to mind are killing me. Yes, I make a mess. But who cleans it up? ME. When you make a mess, who cleans it up? ME.
I'm not your mom. Stop it. Now.
Seriously--stop flushing the freakin' toilet before you are finished peeing.
I get the whole guy thing of "courtesy flushing" when you are doing the
other (although I do NOT get the reason for staying in there for 30 minutes)
but really--do not flush until you are finished. It's weird and it's gross.
No--you DO NOT time it perfectly so that it will all be taken down the
drain. There are still bubbles and a yellow tint to the water when I go in
there. It freaks me out. It makes me want to vomit. There are GERMS in
pee and I don't want you to leave them in there! I have to go to a
different bathroom in the house whenever you do this! It's gross!
Also--I'm pretty damn sure I NEVER get pee on the seat, under the seat,
around the base of the toilet, or on the floor in front of/around the
toilet--clean it the hell up!
Confession #917
There are so many things that suck about our current situation, and I KNOW that they are just that: situational. I know that situations are temporary, and that one day you will have a job and not be sick and I will be able to do at least some of the things I dream about doing. But I don't see an easy solution for now. When I picture the future, I never see the distant future where we can theoretically have a normal life. I always just see the next several months or years where I know things will still suck.
I love you, but I have to confess: I imagine you dying and things getting better. I don't want to lose you, of course, but I imagine myself being much more able to cope with losing a husband than with another year of this crap. And I'm ashamed of my fantasy, but I can't keep it out of my head.
Confession #918
I know I should feel lucky to have you.You are a great dad ,provider and help with the housework but......Why can't you be better in bed? I have never,ever had an orgasm while you were in the room unless a vibrator was involved. Not only do you suck in bed,you rarely even want sex.
You have driven me to meet men online and hook up with them for sex.I wish you would be a little more adventurous.We could be having such awesome sex if only you would quit being so uptight.What man doesn't want to have sex with 2 women at once? Apparently you!
Confession #919
You are a great guy. i love you so much. But dude, when I have a
raging sore throat, fever, and chills and have spent the whole day at
home with our four children, homeschooling them and breastfeeding
them and dragging my sick butt off of the couch to feed them, I NEED
YOU TO COME STRAIGHT HOME FROM WORK!!! Yes, a few minutes does make
a difference. I know you dont get sick very often, but sometimes I
wish you would just so you can remember what it feels like to have a
cold.
Confession #920
I think on divorce decrees they should add the following for reason of divorce:
-Failed to put a new garbage bag in pail (I mean, c'mon...yes, you take out the garbage, good job...but put a new one in , please!!!).
-Left clothing on floor RIGHT NEXT TO basket (Really? Can you not SEE it??)
-Put food in sink after the kids are done eating (I'm sorry, did I forget to mention AGAIN that we do not have a disposal in our sink...sorry.....and I WILL hit you with a spatula every time you do this...you think you would stop...maybe you like it?)
-Takes the highschair tray off, and leaves it on counter (When CLEARLY it would be too much trouble to just PUT IT BACK).
Babe, I truly love you. But these things, and others that don't come to mind are killing me. Yes, I make a mess. But who cleans it up? ME. When you make a mess, who cleans it up? ME.
I'm not your mom. Stop it. Now.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
True Wife Confessions 92 Resolutions
Confession #911
Last night, we sat and talked about your family. I asked you, point blank, how you managed to avoid being insane, because everyone you grew up with is completely insane. I said to you that I know you love me and you love the children. I have no doubts about that. But how you were able to walk away from your birth family, well, it scares me.
It still scares me. I just don’t want you to ever walk away from us like that.
Confession #912
Friends,
I cannot keep going to your candle parties, your stamping parties, your cookwear parties, your purse parties, your scrapbook parties. I know you need to make money. But I can't afford to help pay your bills. Money is tight for us. The products you are selling are ones I can get cheaper elsewhere, IF I even needed them in the first place. You're in a saturated market. You sell the same products as does everyone else on my block, at work, at church. Maybe that's why you have to be so pushy? Most of you are understanding. A few of you guilt trip me so badly that it makes me not want to be friends any longer. If I say no to your candle party, do I have to be guilted into giving an excuse? Or guilted into making the next one? I am just going to eat your food and not buy anything. You'll end up losing money if I attend. Some of you can no longer have conversations without marketing your products. I want my old friends back. The ones whose brains weren't taken over by MLM Madness.
Confession #913
I love you. You are amazing in almost every way. But please don't
tell me that you can't FINALLY finish your extra job (which was your
idea to take) MONTHS AND MONTHS after you said you would (while our
half fixed up house sits waiting for walls to be put up, floors to be
put down) because you really need to go to sleep at 9 pm each night.
Please don't tell me you're tired, and will just rest for a minute.
We both know it's not true. Please don't tell me "Babe, you know I
don't get enough sleep" when between your naps and bedtime, you get
darn near 7-8 hours a night. And, by the way, Mr. Observant--I get
less sleep than you. Every. Single. Night. I take care of the dogs,
the house, everything about 85% of the time. Your 15% comes when I've
asked you to do it about 3 times already. OH, and I'm gone from the
house as much as you, but the difference is I'm in school (med
school), and you're at work. Who has exams? Who is going to be
responsible for lives with whatever knowledge that she does or does
not properly learn because she is so busy keeping life together and
picking up after you?
We've had you tested, and nothing's out of whack. Your thyroid is
fine, your iron is fine. I just don't think you like dealing with
being tired in any way whatsoever. I think you have the mindset that
if you're tired, everything else isn't as important. Like doing your
work. Or spending more than 10 minutes with me at night before I have
to drag your comatose behind to bed after waking you up about 3
million times.
I especially liked the night that I was downstairs in the bathroom,
after "dropping the kids of at the pool", and I needed toilet paper.
You went upstairs to get it for me, and laid down on the bed and FELL
ASLEEP!!! I seriously wanted to hit you as I was screaming over and
over for you to wake up and get me some friggin' toilet paper as you
are snoozing away in the bed.
Everything else is great. You seriously need to work on this problem,
though. I'm not a toothbrush toilet swoosher, but I may hide all of
it one day and fall asleep when you need it the most. POOPhead.
Confession #914
I love you and am truly blessed to have you in my life. But I absolutely hate it when you sing along to EVERY song, especially in the confined space of a car. It's even worse when you don't know the words and just hum the tune. Please stop before I go completely daffy!
Confession #915
A confession to a friend of a friend,
I met you at my friend's house. Our children tried to play together, but didn't get along. You and I had nothing in common, either. We never spoke or saw each other for months after that. Imagine my shock when an invitation to your child's birthday party arrived in the mail. I asked my friend if it was because you didn't know anyone. She said no, she thought about 30 kids would be attending! Did you send me the invite because you're fishing for presents? Does a 10 dollar gift your child will get bored with in 20 mins really mean that much to you? We won't be attending your party.
Confession #916
Confession #917
Confession #918
Confession #919
Confession #920
Hey, did you notice something? TWC has run out of confessions. Yep, you heard me right. Hard to believe, but true. We will rejoin our regularly schedule programming when the inbox brimmith over again....
Last night, we sat and talked about your family. I asked you, point blank, how you managed to avoid being insane, because everyone you grew up with is completely insane. I said to you that I know you love me and you love the children. I have no doubts about that. But how you were able to walk away from your birth family, well, it scares me.
It still scares me. I just don’t want you to ever walk away from us like that.
Confession #912
Friends,
I cannot keep going to your candle parties, your stamping parties, your cookwear parties, your purse parties, your scrapbook parties. I know you need to make money. But I can't afford to help pay your bills. Money is tight for us. The products you are selling are ones I can get cheaper elsewhere, IF I even needed them in the first place. You're in a saturated market. You sell the same products as does everyone else on my block, at work, at church. Maybe that's why you have to be so pushy? Most of you are understanding. A few of you guilt trip me so badly that it makes me not want to be friends any longer. If I say no to your candle party, do I have to be guilted into giving an excuse? Or guilted into making the next one? I am just going to eat your food and not buy anything. You'll end up losing money if I attend. Some of you can no longer have conversations without marketing your products. I want my old friends back. The ones whose brains weren't taken over by MLM Madness.
Confession #913
I love you. You are amazing in almost every way. But please don't
tell me that you can't FINALLY finish your extra job (which was your
idea to take) MONTHS AND MONTHS after you said you would (while our
half fixed up house sits waiting for walls to be put up, floors to be
put down) because you really need to go to sleep at 9 pm each night.
Please don't tell me you're tired, and will just rest for a minute.
We both know it's not true. Please don't tell me "Babe, you know I
don't get enough sleep" when between your naps and bedtime, you get
darn near 7-8 hours a night. And, by the way, Mr. Observant--I get
less sleep than you. Every. Single. Night. I take care of the dogs,
the house, everything about 85% of the time. Your 15% comes when I've
asked you to do it about 3 times already. OH, and I'm gone from the
house as much as you, but the difference is I'm in school (med
school), and you're at work. Who has exams? Who is going to be
responsible for lives with whatever knowledge that she does or does
not properly learn because she is so busy keeping life together and
picking up after you?
We've had you tested, and nothing's out of whack. Your thyroid is
fine, your iron is fine. I just don't think you like dealing with
being tired in any way whatsoever. I think you have the mindset that
if you're tired, everything else isn't as important. Like doing your
work. Or spending more than 10 minutes with me at night before I have
to drag your comatose behind to bed after waking you up about 3
million times.
I especially liked the night that I was downstairs in the bathroom,
after "dropping the kids of at the pool", and I needed toilet paper.
You went upstairs to get it for me, and laid down on the bed and FELL
ASLEEP!!! I seriously wanted to hit you as I was screaming over and
over for you to wake up and get me some friggin' toilet paper as you
are snoozing away in the bed.
Everything else is great. You seriously need to work on this problem,
though. I'm not a toothbrush toilet swoosher, but I may hide all of
it one day and fall asleep when you need it the most. POOPhead.
Confession #914
I love you and am truly blessed to have you in my life. But I absolutely hate it when you sing along to EVERY song, especially in the confined space of a car. It's even worse when you don't know the words and just hum the tune. Please stop before I go completely daffy!
Confession #915
A confession to a friend of a friend,
I met you at my friend's house. Our children tried to play together, but didn't get along. You and I had nothing in common, either. We never spoke or saw each other for months after that. Imagine my shock when an invitation to your child's birthday party arrived in the mail. I asked my friend if it was because you didn't know anyone. She said no, she thought about 30 kids would be attending! Did you send me the invite because you're fishing for presents? Does a 10 dollar gift your child will get bored with in 20 mins really mean that much to you? We won't be attending your party.
Confession #916
Confession #917
Confession #918
Confession #919
Confession #920
Hey, did you notice something? TWC has run out of confessions. Yep, you heard me right. Hard to believe, but true. We will rejoin our regularly schedule programming when the inbox brimmith over again....
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
True Wife Confessions Bride 91
Confession #901
I will never tell you this. But it sorta excites me (or relieves me) to post it on the world wide web! I kissed another man. I was going to have sex with him but I pushed him off, walked away, and scolded myself. It won't happen again. But I'm never going to tell you about it, even though it's killing me inside. Sometimes telling the truth hurts other people more than if you just keep it in and bare the burden yourself. I'm gonna bare this burden, babe. I'm really sorry I let you down. I'll do better next time.
Confession #902
I love you. I knew I wanted to marry you from before we ever even
dated, when we were friends. I knew that if you weren't "it", than I
didn't know what "it" was. I love that you are a man of God, that you
are full of faith that I aspire to. I love that you love me like none
of my multiple dads have, and that you don't judge me at all by my
slightly crazy family history. I love that you can get past their
craziness to see the good things about them too. You see the good in
everyone (which is slightly annoying when I am grumpy, I admit, but
mostly wonderful.) I can't wait to be the mother of your children
someday, because I know you already have the heart of an amazing
father and that you can't wait to be one.
I appreciate so much that we have moved across the country because
this is the grad school I wanted to go to, and you said to go for
whatever my heart desired. I love that even away from friends and
family, we support each other and are all the family we need. I love
that when I was bored this summer, before school started, you let us
get a second dog, even though you didn't want to. I love that you're
upstairs right now giving him a bath so I can get schoolwork done. (I
promise, I'm about to start.) I love even more that you appreciate
the stress I'm under, and you give great back rubs to help me relax.
You're not perfect. Sometimes you drive me nuts. But I'm an avid
reader of this site, and while I feel like some confessions remind me
of you, most of them just make me so thankful that you somehow chose
me to be your wife.
Confession #903
Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why.WHYYYYYYYYY????????????????? Why are you irritating me on levels I never thought possible right now. Good grief man, you are SO ANNOYING. Just STOP berating me, stop chiding me, stop talking to me like I am a three year old, stop patronizing me, stop being so goddamn fucking YOU. Ugh! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Words cannot even describe how much I would like to stab you in the throat right now. Just FUCK OFF.
Confession #904
I don't want to be married to you anymore, but am too scared to do anything about it because I don't want to be a single mother, and I don't want to be a failure. And because I love you.
But I never should have married you, I always knew you didn't love me the way I wanted and deserved to be loved, but I thought it would grow. 5 years later, it hasn't. The other night when you pushed me away, I was so hurt. Since then I have not laid a hand on you, and I have realized (well, I always knew, but now I really know) that if I don't touch you, we don't touch...and if I don't say "I love you", it doesn't get said. The only time I touch you now is in the mornings, when you are sleeping, so I can tell myself that you aren't touching me back because you are asleep, and not because you never do (except occasionally when you want sex, but that is NOT what I mean. It is the other touches that matter so much...the stroking and hugging and hand holding and touches on the back or shoulder that I never get)
You are a good man and an amazing father, but you suck at being a husband. Maybe you just suck at being my husband because you don't love me enough or I want too much, but even though we get along fine and don't fight often, this marriage sucks and is only getting worse and sadder.
Confession #905
This confession is from one wife to another...
You are my neighbor. For quite some time I've been very nice to you. I've done many a favor for you. I have watched and fed your child countless times. You have yet to say, "Thank you." You act as if I should be thanking you. You like to brag about how you've ripped off this person, the school district, or some business. You've told me how you didn't really want your youngest child, "But we're Christians, so what else could we do?" (You have said this in front of her.) You say the only good thing about having an autistic child is using getting a handicapped parking space so you never have to walk far. And you park in handicapped spaces when he's not even with you. Your behavior is revolting. I no longer let you in my house. You probably think I'm completely rude. But to be honest, it takes every bit of self control I have to NOT slap you upside the head. God knows, I WANT to.
And now you are scratching your head and wondering HOW on earth your oldest could have gotten into drugs. And I think you suspect what I do -- that your son is the one who stole some of our belongings. I have told you that if we find the little punk who stole our stuff that we'd prosecute and go after the parents. You agreed heartily that we should at the time. I wonder what you are thinking now?
I hope the cops do find out that it was your son who stole our stuff. Because then we can go after your ass. And then my husband won't tell me I'm such a bitch for not being "neighborly" toward you. He feels sorry for your pathetic ass. I don't. Mainly because I don't think you have a conscious. I don't think you have a soul. If you do, it must be vile and black as tar.
I hope you read this site. I hope you recognize yourself in this confession. Because you really need to get a clue, examine your priorities, and get an attitude adjustment.
Confession #906
I've never told you this, but I am preoccupied with the idea of divorcing you and living on my own. I make up scenarios in my mind that begin with you doing or saying something truly awful to me and end in me leaving you and finding an apartment and starting all over again. I just now realized why I do this. It's because I want to prove that I can. I married very young and I never got the chance to be independent so I feel like I have something to prove. My mom never left my dad the many times she should have (and still hangs on to him to this day) and I just want to show her how it's done. A truly awful way to think, I know. But please trust me when I say that I don't really want to divorce you and I never intend to.
Confession #907
We got married earlier this year after almost a decade together. There are times you drive me absolutely crazy--to the point I really wonder what my life would be without you. Should I have married a guy who wears a suit to work and who loves attending events and involving himself in community leadership? And who doesn't leave dishes in the sink every day, eat all the good cereal or come out of the shower with wet feet on the floor. But then I think of the good stuff, the things I focused on when I said yes to marrying you. The way you absentmindedly kiss my forehead in the movies. How you nap spooning the dog. The way you DO dress up for events and send thank-you cards when I heckle you long enough. How you still can't get enough of grabbing my booty and will always tangle up your arms and legs with mine when we sleep. You've been such a loving buddy, you're my very best friend, and you're going to be an incredible father.
Confession #908
I HATED being your wife. Every single time I heard someone call me MRS_____,
it made me want to scream. I only married you because I came from a
community that viewed marriage as the next step in a relationship. Now that
I've broken free of that whole brainwashing religion I'll never get involved
with a sadomasochistic person like you ever again.
I may have been a virgin when we wed but even I know that you were a
complete loser in bed. I had to watch a few erotic films just so that I
could realistically fake it. In fact the only time I came was when I did the
job myself.
I look back at our time together and realize that you hated youself and just
used me as a dumping ground for all of that self loathing. You are a bastard
for doing that to me. I had people telling me that I could have been
Angelina Jolie's twin but I felt like an ugly freak, that is what you did to
me. Besides, you were the hideous person in our relationship, I never once
thought that you were even remotely attractive.
I hated your mother. You'll never admit it but you hate her as well, that is
why you told her to shutup and would sabotage her. The sick part is that you
depended on her to make your decisions for you, that makes you one sick
fuck. So I hope you end up with a beauty queen that almost immediately
gains 200 pounds. That would be true justice. No even better is that psycho
bitch ex girlfriend that you refused to put in her place when she would
harass me. I hope you get back with her and she just shreds you. Then you
would be even less of a man than you already are.
Live in misery and hope that you rot in the same prison of a life that you
made for me.
Confession #909
I know that you're cheating on me.
I love our kids too much to leave you.
I've DONE the whole single-parent thing once before and I don't want to do it again.
I'm afraid to give you the ultimatum because I don't think you would choose me.
I just hope that you realize you are not just cheating on me, you're cheating on our children.
Confession #910
I pick up a gun and load one bullet into the chamber. I calmly shut it and spin. Then, as you watch, put the gun to my head and….click…
The next day I get the gun out and start to put it to my head. You tell me not to do it that you love me and ask me to put it down. That your afraid I will get hurt. I pull the trigger….click
As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months every day I pull out the gun and…click
You begin to have anxiety attacks just thinking about that sound…that…click…and beg me to get rid of the gun. I tell you it isn’t your problem. That you have to just wait for me to be ready to put the gun down but for now I am not…click
Now it is years later and you have tried everything and are physically sick just knowing the gun is in the house…click
The kids are older now. You used to make excuses about the gun, tried to hide it from them or explain it away so they wouldn’t be as scared as you are but now they know, they see and they fear it as much as you. You plead with me to stop for their sakes but I insist they are fine and so am I. It is you that needs the help...click
It is too much for you to bear as I pull the trigger more and more each day. Oh there have been times I have put the gun down for a while but I have never really let it go. You try to physically wrestle the gun away from me when I pick it up again but that only makes me hate you for making it a problem when it really isn’t….click
Your physically falling apart. Spiritually and emotionally your empty when it comes to the gun. You wish I would either give it up for good or just get the one wrong chamber to bring some sort of end to the nightmare. But you really don’t want it to end that way. You want me to get it, to care enough about myself and you and our children to stop but somehow I don’t…click
Just the other day you walked into your baby girls room and found her with a gun to her head…click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That’s what it is like living with your alcoholism.
It’s the only way I can say it.
You think I wont leave but if you don’t stop I will, and I wont wait until our kids are drunks like you to do it.
I will never tell you this. But it sorta excites me (or relieves me) to post it on the world wide web! I kissed another man. I was going to have sex with him but I pushed him off, walked away, and scolded myself. It won't happen again. But I'm never going to tell you about it, even though it's killing me inside. Sometimes telling the truth hurts other people more than if you just keep it in and bare the burden yourself. I'm gonna bare this burden, babe. I'm really sorry I let you down. I'll do better next time.
Confession #902
I love you. I knew I wanted to marry you from before we ever even
dated, when we were friends. I knew that if you weren't "it", than I
didn't know what "it" was. I love that you are a man of God, that you
are full of faith that I aspire to. I love that you love me like none
of my multiple dads have, and that you don't judge me at all by my
slightly crazy family history. I love that you can get past their
craziness to see the good things about them too. You see the good in
everyone (which is slightly annoying when I am grumpy, I admit, but
mostly wonderful.) I can't wait to be the mother of your children
someday, because I know you already have the heart of an amazing
father and that you can't wait to be one.
I appreciate so much that we have moved across the country because
this is the grad school I wanted to go to, and you said to go for
whatever my heart desired. I love that even away from friends and
family, we support each other and are all the family we need. I love
that when I was bored this summer, before school started, you let us
get a second dog, even though you didn't want to. I love that you're
upstairs right now giving him a bath so I can get schoolwork done. (I
promise, I'm about to start.) I love even more that you appreciate
the stress I'm under, and you give great back rubs to help me relax.
You're not perfect. Sometimes you drive me nuts. But I'm an avid
reader of this site, and while I feel like some confessions remind me
of you, most of them just make me so thankful that you somehow chose
me to be your wife.
Confession #903
Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why.WHYYYYYYYYY????????????????? Why are you irritating me on levels I never thought possible right now. Good grief man, you are SO ANNOYING. Just STOP berating me, stop chiding me, stop talking to me like I am a three year old, stop patronizing me, stop being so goddamn fucking YOU. Ugh! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Words cannot even describe how much I would like to stab you in the throat right now. Just FUCK OFF.
Confession #904
I don't want to be married to you anymore, but am too scared to do anything about it because I don't want to be a single mother, and I don't want to be a failure. And because I love you.
But I never should have married you, I always knew you didn't love me the way I wanted and deserved to be loved, but I thought it would grow. 5 years later, it hasn't. The other night when you pushed me away, I was so hurt. Since then I have not laid a hand on you, and I have realized (well, I always knew, but now I really know) that if I don't touch you, we don't touch...and if I don't say "I love you", it doesn't get said. The only time I touch you now is in the mornings, when you are sleeping, so I can tell myself that you aren't touching me back because you are asleep, and not because you never do (except occasionally when you want sex, but that is NOT what I mean. It is the other touches that matter so much...the stroking and hugging and hand holding and touches on the back or shoulder that I never get)
You are a good man and an amazing father, but you suck at being a husband. Maybe you just suck at being my husband because you don't love me enough or I want too much, but even though we get along fine and don't fight often, this marriage sucks and is only getting worse and sadder.
Confession #905
This confession is from one wife to another...
You are my neighbor. For quite some time I've been very nice to you. I've done many a favor for you. I have watched and fed your child countless times. You have yet to say, "Thank you." You act as if I should be thanking you. You like to brag about how you've ripped off this person, the school district, or some business. You've told me how you didn't really want your youngest child, "But we're Christians, so what else could we do?" (You have said this in front of her.) You say the only good thing about having an autistic child is using getting a handicapped parking space so you never have to walk far. And you park in handicapped spaces when he's not even with you. Your behavior is revolting. I no longer let you in my house. You probably think I'm completely rude. But to be honest, it takes every bit of self control I have to NOT slap you upside the head. God knows, I WANT to.
And now you are scratching your head and wondering HOW on earth your oldest could have gotten into drugs. And I think you suspect what I do -- that your son is the one who stole some of our belongings. I have told you that if we find the little punk who stole our stuff that we'd prosecute and go after the parents. You agreed heartily that we should at the time. I wonder what you are thinking now?
I hope the cops do find out that it was your son who stole our stuff. Because then we can go after your ass. And then my husband won't tell me I'm such a bitch for not being "neighborly" toward you. He feels sorry for your pathetic ass. I don't. Mainly because I don't think you have a conscious. I don't think you have a soul. If you do, it must be vile and black as tar.
I hope you read this site. I hope you recognize yourself in this confession. Because you really need to get a clue, examine your priorities, and get an attitude adjustment.
Confession #906
I've never told you this, but I am preoccupied with the idea of divorcing you and living on my own. I make up scenarios in my mind that begin with you doing or saying something truly awful to me and end in me leaving you and finding an apartment and starting all over again. I just now realized why I do this. It's because I want to prove that I can. I married very young and I never got the chance to be independent so I feel like I have something to prove. My mom never left my dad the many times she should have (and still hangs on to him to this day) and I just want to show her how it's done. A truly awful way to think, I know. But please trust me when I say that I don't really want to divorce you and I never intend to.
Confession #907
We got married earlier this year after almost a decade together. There are times you drive me absolutely crazy--to the point I really wonder what my life would be without you. Should I have married a guy who wears a suit to work and who loves attending events and involving himself in community leadership? And who doesn't leave dishes in the sink every day, eat all the good cereal or come out of the shower with wet feet on the floor. But then I think of the good stuff, the things I focused on when I said yes to marrying you. The way you absentmindedly kiss my forehead in the movies. How you nap spooning the dog. The way you DO dress up for events and send thank-you cards when I heckle you long enough. How you still can't get enough of grabbing my booty and will always tangle up your arms and legs with mine when we sleep. You've been such a loving buddy, you're my very best friend, and you're going to be an incredible father.
Confession #908
I HATED being your wife. Every single time I heard someone call me MRS_____,
it made me want to scream. I only married you because I came from a
community that viewed marriage as the next step in a relationship. Now that
I've broken free of that whole brainwashing religion I'll never get involved
with a sadomasochistic person like you ever again.
I may have been a virgin when we wed but even I know that you were a
complete loser in bed. I had to watch a few erotic films just so that I
could realistically fake it. In fact the only time I came was when I did the
job myself.
I look back at our time together and realize that you hated youself and just
used me as a dumping ground for all of that self loathing. You are a bastard
for doing that to me. I had people telling me that I could have been
Angelina Jolie's twin but I felt like an ugly freak, that is what you did to
me. Besides, you were the hideous person in our relationship, I never once
thought that you were even remotely attractive.
I hated your mother. You'll never admit it but you hate her as well, that is
why you told her to shutup and would sabotage her. The sick part is that you
depended on her to make your decisions for you, that makes you one sick
fuck. So I hope you end up with a beauty queen that almost immediately
gains 200 pounds. That would be true justice. No even better is that psycho
bitch ex girlfriend that you refused to put in her place when she would
harass me. I hope you get back with her and she just shreds you. Then you
would be even less of a man than you already are.
Live in misery and hope that you rot in the same prison of a life that you
made for me.
Confession #909
I know that you're cheating on me.
I love our kids too much to leave you.
I've DONE the whole single-parent thing once before and I don't want to do it again.
I'm afraid to give you the ultimatum because I don't think you would choose me.
I just hope that you realize you are not just cheating on me, you're cheating on our children.
Confession #910
I pick up a gun and load one bullet into the chamber. I calmly shut it and spin. Then, as you watch, put the gun to my head and….click…
The next day I get the gun out and start to put it to my head. You tell me not to do it that you love me and ask me to put it down. That your afraid I will get hurt. I pull the trigger….click
As the days turn into weeks and weeks into months every day I pull out the gun and…click
You begin to have anxiety attacks just thinking about that sound…that…click…and beg me to get rid of the gun. I tell you it isn’t your problem. That you have to just wait for me to be ready to put the gun down but for now I am not…click
Now it is years later and you have tried everything and are physically sick just knowing the gun is in the house…click
The kids are older now. You used to make excuses about the gun, tried to hide it from them or explain it away so they wouldn’t be as scared as you are but now they know, they see and they fear it as much as you. You plead with me to stop for their sakes but I insist they are fine and so am I. It is you that needs the help...click
It is too much for you to bear as I pull the trigger more and more each day. Oh there have been times I have put the gun down for a while but I have never really let it go. You try to physically wrestle the gun away from me when I pick it up again but that only makes me hate you for making it a problem when it really isn’t….click
Your physically falling apart. Spiritually and emotionally your empty when it comes to the gun. You wish I would either give it up for good or just get the one wrong chamber to bring some sort of end to the nightmare. But you really don’t want it to end that way. You want me to get it, to care enough about myself and you and our children to stop but somehow I don’t…click
Just the other day you walked into your baby girls room and found her with a gun to her head…click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That’s what it is like living with your alcoholism.
It’s the only way I can say it.
You think I wont leave but if you don’t stop I will, and I wont wait until our kids are drunks like you to do it.
Monday, October 09, 2006
True Wife Confessions 90 Mile beach in New Zealand
Confession #891
I am having an affair with your husband. The one that you brag to everyone about how he would NEVER cheat on you because he is too "P***Y whipped" and he is SO in love with you and your body and that you fulfill all (and I do mean all) sexual fantasies he has. The one you brag to everyone about how much money he spends on you and doesn't hesitate to buy you something, regardless of the cost, if you want it enough or pout enough. The one that you brag to everyone about how much he loves and takes care of (financially)YOUR juvenile delinquent kids from a previous relationship? The one that "bought you out of" having to wear his wedding ring.
It's YOUR fault. You're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't take enough effort to worry about the things he does. How is it possible that he can come over to my house 3-4 times a week and spend the night? How is it possible that he can stay the weekends with me? How is it possible that he's got my pictures on his cell phone and sends/receives text messages to/from me at ALL HOURS of the day/night?
I have tried to end it but he just won't let me. He cries and constantly tell me how much he loves me and would do anything to be with me. He tells me I am his soulmate and the only happiness that he knows. We are GREAT in bed together.
He HATES your kids but he LOVES the one you both have together. He knows how much that kid loves you and needs you both right now. He knows you will never afford to live on your own. He pays my bills in order to get me to stay. He takes me on trips, concerts, dates, buys me things, helps clean my house. I know he is a liar. I know that regardless of how much he says that he and I will eventually be together, I would NEVER marry him or commit to him, regardless of the mutual feelings that I have for him.
Confession #892
I know you still drink
Confession #893
Dear You,
I want to thank you for being such a wonderful man and accepting the fact that you wanted me and I came with a child. She loves and adores you. You have two from your previous marriage and well, everyone knows that was a mistake. You just don't get married because you get someone pregnant. Granted, that was ten years ago and you thought you were doing the right thing. Many props to you for that. You are a good man, that is a fact.
But....
You know, sometimes you can be a real asshole and I just want to go into some "temporarily insane" rage and pull a Lorraina on your ass. I am sick, I feel like shit and I need you to bring me something to work to make me feel better. Can you? Hell no because you're busy at work. I have learned to deal with the 80+ hours a week and that is fine. It's what you/we signed up for. BUT if this was something you wanted to do, you would do it with NO question.
Stop being such a prick before you come home one night and I give you a much needed iron skillet upside the head!
Confession #894
I hate the fact that you talk too much. Sometimes, I think it's because you have a complex that people thinking you're a dumbass. When you and your friends get together and start talking about politics, religion or random shit, it makes me want to slit my wrist with a fingernail file. It makes my ass hurt to deal with you clowns.
I've tried really hard to stay true and faithful, but I've meet someone and I can't fight the feeling any longer. He makes me smile. I almost slept with him last night, but didn't because I had to go home. We have a plan for later this week to have hot smack sex, something I don't have with you.
Confession #895
Same shit, different millennium. I waited two years after my divorce before
I felt ready to move on and start dating again. I was excited about it.
Last time I was single I was dating boys. Now I would be dating men. HA!
Are there any MEN out there? I am starting to think not. Why will a grown
man choose to tell a woman how much he likes her and that he will call her
and put forth the effort to seem really sincere about it when he could just
say "I don't think this is going to work." I know it is not pleasant , but
just tell me the fucking truth. I am reasonable. I can take it. Instead
you just subject me to the same game of phone watching I played in college
and high school. Someone PLEASE tell me that most men do mature a little
bit between the ages of 20 and 40. I sooo don't have the time for this shit
anymore. I guess I really ought to just board up my windows and get a bunch
of cats.
Note to all single, middle-aged idiots. You really should get some maturity
to go along with your receding hairlines and beer guts. You just aren't
hot enough to get away with being assholes any more!!!!!
Damn, I wish I could just be a lesbian.
Confession #896
Why are you shocked that our young kids like me more
than you? Every time they do something wrong, who do
you yell at? ME. It's my fault for everything they
do wrong and boy do you let me know about it. Then,
you wonder why the girls always run to me for comfort
and don't even want your hugs or kisses.
They are too busy protecting Mommy. Also, don't be
surprised when you are called on the carpet for your
behavior. Our oldest tells all of her Grandparents,
and everyone she can find, that you are "always mad at
Mommy. We have to be good so Daddy won't take it out
on Mommy."
Confession #897
I hate you. I've hated you since December 24, 2004. The night you came
home crying that you hit rock bottom and you didn't know what to do.
Two weeks later, our beautiful little boy was born. While I was in the
hospital where I could barely move because of the Cesarean, I gave
you money for gas money and you managed to take $1,100 from my
checking account. You're big solution? Your daddy paid me back the
money.
I hate you. You let me drown in debt. You knew I was struggling with
the $8,0000 hospital bill and the $2,000 ER bill, and the $2,500
cardiologist bill for OUR son. Yet, you continued to gamble and lie to
me about all the pressure you were under and how you were doing the
best you could.
I hate you. You promised to give me money one Friday night, and the
next day you told me you had gotten arrested for DUI, and the bail was
conveniently your entire paycheck.
I hate you. I hate that you expect me to believe when you went to
court for this, and the "charges" were dropped you told me they didn't
give you back your bail money.
No, I'm not stupid. I know you lied to me.
I hate that you let me get overwhelmed in debt. I hate that my mom had
to bail me out. I hate that you now say what the big deal is, the
bills are paid. I hate that you're teaching my son that it's OK to
bail on your family. I hate that you pay your dad the money you owe
him every month, yet you've only given me $100 this year.
You lazy, sob, I hate you. And I hate myself for letting you stay this long.
Confession #898
This morning when you rolled over to me and said, “Good Morning babe, I love you.” And then asked me to snuggle you until I had to get up for work – was the greatest I have felt in a while and I appreciate it and you so much.
Confession #899
I am angry with you. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to watch our boys grow up and do great things together, school, sports, prom… We were supposed to have a beautiful daughter together. We were supposed to buy our first home together, take our children to Disneyland. We were supposed to love each other so much that we tried everything to make it work. I am angry with you because you aren’t willing to try. What were once our dreams and plans are no more. Instead I have plans on leaving you and making the best life possible for me and our children, putting the pieces together all the while trying not to fall apart. I will survive this, because what is the other option. And despite all this anger and hurt, I still love you more than anything and that hurts.
Confession #900
After months of you accusing me of sleeping with my co-worker, I finally did it. I love you but I needed to get you back for cheating on me.
Oh, and I'd do it again if I had the chance. I'm not sorry that it happened.
I am having an affair with your husband. The one that you brag to everyone about how he would NEVER cheat on you because he is too "P***Y whipped" and he is SO in love with you and your body and that you fulfill all (and I do mean all) sexual fantasies he has. The one you brag to everyone about how much money he spends on you and doesn't hesitate to buy you something, regardless of the cost, if you want it enough or pout enough. The one that you brag to everyone about how much he loves and takes care of (financially)YOUR juvenile delinquent kids from a previous relationship? The one that "bought you out of" having to wear his wedding ring.
It's YOUR fault. You're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't take enough effort to worry about the things he does. How is it possible that he can come over to my house 3-4 times a week and spend the night? How is it possible that he can stay the weekends with me? How is it possible that he's got my pictures on his cell phone and sends/receives text messages to/from me at ALL HOURS of the day/night?
I have tried to end it but he just won't let me. He cries and constantly tell me how much he loves me and would do anything to be with me. He tells me I am his soulmate and the only happiness that he knows. We are GREAT in bed together.
He HATES your kids but he LOVES the one you both have together. He knows how much that kid loves you and needs you both right now. He knows you will never afford to live on your own. He pays my bills in order to get me to stay. He takes me on trips, concerts, dates, buys me things, helps clean my house. I know he is a liar. I know that regardless of how much he says that he and I will eventually be together, I would NEVER marry him or commit to him, regardless of the mutual feelings that I have for him.
Confession #892
I know you still drink
Confession #893
Dear You,
I want to thank you for being such a wonderful man and accepting the fact that you wanted me and I came with a child. She loves and adores you. You have two from your previous marriage and well, everyone knows that was a mistake. You just don't get married because you get someone pregnant. Granted, that was ten years ago and you thought you were doing the right thing. Many props to you for that. You are a good man, that is a fact.
But....
You know, sometimes you can be a real asshole and I just want to go into some "temporarily insane" rage and pull a Lorraina on your ass. I am sick, I feel like shit and I need you to bring me something to work to make me feel better. Can you? Hell no because you're busy at work. I have learned to deal with the 80+ hours a week and that is fine. It's what you/we signed up for. BUT if this was something you wanted to do, you would do it with NO question.
Stop being such a prick before you come home one night and I give you a much needed iron skillet upside the head!
Confession #894
I hate the fact that you talk too much. Sometimes, I think it's because you have a complex that people thinking you're a dumbass. When you and your friends get together and start talking about politics, religion or random shit, it makes me want to slit my wrist with a fingernail file. It makes my ass hurt to deal with you clowns.
I've tried really hard to stay true and faithful, but I've meet someone and I can't fight the feeling any longer. He makes me smile. I almost slept with him last night, but didn't because I had to go home. We have a plan for later this week to have hot smack sex, something I don't have with you.
Confession #895
Same shit, different millennium. I waited two years after my divorce before
I felt ready to move on and start dating again. I was excited about it.
Last time I was single I was dating boys. Now I would be dating men. HA!
Are there any MEN out there? I am starting to think not. Why will a grown
man choose to tell a woman how much he likes her and that he will call her
and put forth the effort to seem really sincere about it when he could just
say "I don't think this is going to work." I know it is not pleasant , but
just tell me the fucking truth. I am reasonable. I can take it. Instead
you just subject me to the same game of phone watching I played in college
and high school. Someone PLEASE tell me that most men do mature a little
bit between the ages of 20 and 40. I sooo don't have the time for this shit
anymore. I guess I really ought to just board up my windows and get a bunch
of cats.
Note to all single, middle-aged idiots. You really should get some maturity
to go along with your receding hairlines and beer guts. You just aren't
hot enough to get away with being assholes any more!!!!!
Damn, I wish I could just be a lesbian.
Confession #896
Why are you shocked that our young kids like me more
than you? Every time they do something wrong, who do
you yell at? ME. It's my fault for everything they
do wrong and boy do you let me know about it. Then,
you wonder why the girls always run to me for comfort
and don't even want your hugs or kisses.
They are too busy protecting Mommy. Also, don't be
surprised when you are called on the carpet for your
behavior. Our oldest tells all of her Grandparents,
and everyone she can find, that you are "always mad at
Mommy. We have to be good so Daddy won't take it out
on Mommy."
Confession #897
I hate you. I've hated you since December 24, 2004. The night you came
home crying that you hit rock bottom and you didn't know what to do.
Two weeks later, our beautiful little boy was born. While I was in the
hospital where I could barely move because of the Cesarean, I gave
you money for gas money and you managed to take $1,100 from my
checking account. You're big solution? Your daddy paid me back the
money.
I hate you. You let me drown in debt. You knew I was struggling with
the $8,0000 hospital bill and the $2,000 ER bill, and the $2,500
cardiologist bill for OUR son. Yet, you continued to gamble and lie to
me about all the pressure you were under and how you were doing the
best you could.
I hate you. You promised to give me money one Friday night, and the
next day you told me you had gotten arrested for DUI, and the bail was
conveniently your entire paycheck.
I hate you. I hate that you expect me to believe when you went to
court for this, and the "charges" were dropped you told me they didn't
give you back your bail money.
No, I'm not stupid. I know you lied to me.
I hate that you let me get overwhelmed in debt. I hate that my mom had
to bail me out. I hate that you now say what the big deal is, the
bills are paid. I hate that you're teaching my son that it's OK to
bail on your family. I hate that you pay your dad the money you owe
him every month, yet you've only given me $100 this year.
You lazy, sob, I hate you. And I hate myself for letting you stay this long.
Confession #898
This morning when you rolled over to me and said, “Good Morning babe, I love you.” And then asked me to snuggle you until I had to get up for work – was the greatest I have felt in a while and I appreciate it and you so much.
Confession #899
I am angry with you. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to watch our boys grow up and do great things together, school, sports, prom… We were supposed to have a beautiful daughter together. We were supposed to buy our first home together, take our children to Disneyland. We were supposed to love each other so much that we tried everything to make it work. I am angry with you because you aren’t willing to try. What were once our dreams and plans are no more. Instead I have plans on leaving you and making the best life possible for me and our children, putting the pieces together all the while trying not to fall apart. I will survive this, because what is the other option. And despite all this anger and hurt, I still love you more than anything and that hurts.
Confession #900
After months of you accusing me of sleeping with my co-worker, I finally did it. I love you but I needed to get you back for cheating on me.
Oh, and I'd do it again if I had the chance. I'm not sorry that it happened.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
True Wife Confessions 89 Percent more truthiness
Confession #881
Every moment that I spend with you I feel a small piece of me die. Every single time you look at me with blank eyes devoid of emotion and love, every time you ignore me, everyday we go without talking, every time you refuse to show me even the smallest bit of intimacy---I die. It is a slow death. A painful death. Much worse than any I could imagine. It leaves me angry. It leaves me wondering when it will be my turn for love. Left by my parents, unloved by spouse. My own personal hell.
Confession #882
I know you think my brother is a sleazy, no-good dropout, but he's still my brother, my family. You were so mad when you found out that I bought him a bit of groceries - I don't give him money or buy him cigarettes, I just buy him a bit of food sometimes. I really don't understand how you can be such an ass to insist that he must fend for himself. He made a choice to live on his own, but I don't think that means that we can let him starve. Now I sneak him groceries - I shop when I'm at work and take them to him when I go out in the evening. It's not worth the fight and you being mad at me for days, so I just don't tell you.
Also, that extra food that you found in the car last week? - I didn't forget to bring it in, it was for him.
Confession #883
Every time your mother visits I realize that you are so much more than how you were raised. Yeah, you have some mildly annoying habits. But compared to her they are nothing. I don't know how you stood it all these years. I know I'm the one who is always pushing to maintain a relationship with her, but when she's here she's so irritating I can barely stand it. How is it possible for one person to turn the conversation to herself over and over so doggedly? Did she train for it?
Confession #884
I know you are sleepy. I am sleepy too. But, when you yell at our child at night and tell her to go back to sleep before you beat the shit out of her? And this makes her cry harder? So you yell louder? I swear, if I had a knife, I would stab you in the fucking heart for that. I don't know where you learned that being a bully works, but it is a piss poor strategy and will lose you your wife and daughter someday.
Confession #885
Although I adore you, your memory loss really tries my patience.
For example, recently I told you all about the amount of fiber in a particular breakfast cereal. You listened intently and said something like, "Wow, I didn't know that." This morning, you took the cereal out of the cabinet and "educated" me on how much fiber it has.
I already know. I told you for Christ's sake.
I know your memory is horrible and I know your memory is horrible for a very valid reason. It just makes me insane that you try to tell me things that 1) I already know and 2) I told YOU about or you wouldn't even know
Confession #886
They always say hindsight is 20/20. I should have listened to my Mother when she told me to slow down and date other people before I got so serious with you. Mothers really are always right. I have feelings for you because you are the father of my child, but I don't love you. I stopped feeling love a long time ago. You only make an effort when you want sex, other than that you don't even act like you care. I'm not even attracted to you any more. The only reason I'm still here is our son. You are his world, and I don't want to crush him. I don't know how long I can live this way, but you can bet that when and if I do leave our son will be coming with me.
Confession #887
Sometimes I fantasize while listening to Brad Paisley's song "She Everything" that you wrote it and you wrote it for me. And then I get mad at you because you didn't write that song and you didn't write it for me.
Confession #888
If you grab at my breasts one more time I am going to cut your hands off. I don't like to be mauled, it is not a turn on at all. You act like they are your personal property and that you can do whatever you want to them. Sometime I am going to grab your penis and do the same things that you do, and I will bet money that you will be rolling on the floor in agony. When I tell you to stop I am not joking around. I mean stop. As in right fucking now. I am a person, not just a pair of boobs.
Confession #889
I was so happy a few weeks ago. Now, I don't know what's wrong with me. I find myself getting angry and annoyed with you for no reason. The things I found most attractive about you, I now find really, really, annoying.
I'm also worried that you'll end up leaving me once you find out that I'm not as sure as I was a few months ago. You've been bettering yourself while I've been staying the same. What if you meet somebody better? I don't think my heart could take it, and though I know, right now, at this moment, I don't deserve you.
The fear, the unknowing, the stress, the agitation-it's all becoming to much for me.
Maybe I'm just scared. Our relationship is getting serious and I think I'm scared of commitment.
I love you. I know I do. But I don't know if I'm ready for the engagement What do I do?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
Confession #890
I do so many of the things other wives are confessing they hate their
husbands for and I'm terrified that you are going to hate me for it.
I'm lazy, I'm a slob, I spend most days sitting at the computer, I
never finish anything I start, and I'm a bad mother. When I tell you
that, you say, "Look at our daughter, she's amazing, and that's
because of you!" but I know that it's only despite me. I think Elmo
pays more attention to her than I do. Your family sees what a loser I
am, and I'm sure they wonder why you don't. Sometimes I wonder if I'm
some sort of project for you. Like because you can fix anything, you
want to see if you can fix me. And I do need fixing. But you deserve a
wife who doesn't need to be fixed, or at least one who isn't as
completely broken as I am.
Sometimes I wonder if you like me this way. When I'm at my lowest lows
is when you are the tenderest and give me the most help. Maybe I am
this way because it's working. I can get away with being lazy if I
just tell you how often I think of killing myself, which really is
often, because then you do the dishes that I have let sit in the sink
for a week and order us a pizza so I don't have to do anything. And if
I scream about how overwhelmed I am, you'll come home on your
lunch break and vacuum and tell me that I'm doing a great job. And I
love you so much for that, and I hate myself so much for it.
I know I can do better. I know I am capable of great things. You know
this, and you have helped convince me of it. I'm trying to be better,
and have faced many setbacks. Sometimes it is hard not to give up on
myself when I feel like the only person in the world who HASN'T given
up on me is you. And I'm sure you will too, one day. I don't know why
you haven't already.
Every moment that I spend with you I feel a small piece of me die. Every single time you look at me with blank eyes devoid of emotion and love, every time you ignore me, everyday we go without talking, every time you refuse to show me even the smallest bit of intimacy---I die. It is a slow death. A painful death. Much worse than any I could imagine. It leaves me angry. It leaves me wondering when it will be my turn for love. Left by my parents, unloved by spouse. My own personal hell.
Confession #882
I know you think my brother is a sleazy, no-good dropout, but he's still my brother, my family. You were so mad when you found out that I bought him a bit of groceries - I don't give him money or buy him cigarettes, I just buy him a bit of food sometimes. I really don't understand how you can be such an ass to insist that he must fend for himself. He made a choice to live on his own, but I don't think that means that we can let him starve. Now I sneak him groceries - I shop when I'm at work and take them to him when I go out in the evening. It's not worth the fight and you being mad at me for days, so I just don't tell you.
Also, that extra food that you found in the car last week? - I didn't forget to bring it in, it was for him.
Confession #883
Every time your mother visits I realize that you are so much more than how you were raised. Yeah, you have some mildly annoying habits. But compared to her they are nothing. I don't know how you stood it all these years. I know I'm the one who is always pushing to maintain a relationship with her, but when she's here she's so irritating I can barely stand it. How is it possible for one person to turn the conversation to herself over and over so doggedly? Did she train for it?
Confession #884
I know you are sleepy. I am sleepy too. But, when you yell at our child at night and tell her to go back to sleep before you beat the shit out of her? And this makes her cry harder? So you yell louder? I swear, if I had a knife, I would stab you in the fucking heart for that. I don't know where you learned that being a bully works, but it is a piss poor strategy and will lose you your wife and daughter someday.
Confession #885
Although I adore you, your memory loss really tries my patience.
For example, recently I told you all about the amount of fiber in a particular breakfast cereal. You listened intently and said something like, "Wow, I didn't know that." This morning, you took the cereal out of the cabinet and "educated" me on how much fiber it has.
I already know. I told you for Christ's sake.
I know your memory is horrible and I know your memory is horrible for a very valid reason. It just makes me insane that you try to tell me things that 1) I already know and 2) I told YOU about or you wouldn't even know
Confession #886
They always say hindsight is 20/20. I should have listened to my Mother when she told me to slow down and date other people before I got so serious with you. Mothers really are always right. I have feelings for you because you are the father of my child, but I don't love you. I stopped feeling love a long time ago. You only make an effort when you want sex, other than that you don't even act like you care. I'm not even attracted to you any more. The only reason I'm still here is our son. You are his world, and I don't want to crush him. I don't know how long I can live this way, but you can bet that when and if I do leave our son will be coming with me.
Confession #887
Sometimes I fantasize while listening to Brad Paisley's song "She Everything" that you wrote it and you wrote it for me. And then I get mad at you because you didn't write that song and you didn't write it for me.
Confession #888
If you grab at my breasts one more time I am going to cut your hands off. I don't like to be mauled, it is not a turn on at all. You act like they are your personal property and that you can do whatever you want to them. Sometime I am going to grab your penis and do the same things that you do, and I will bet money that you will be rolling on the floor in agony. When I tell you to stop I am not joking around. I mean stop. As in right fucking now. I am a person, not just a pair of boobs.
Confession #889
I was so happy a few weeks ago. Now, I don't know what's wrong with me. I find myself getting angry and annoyed with you for no reason. The things I found most attractive about you, I now find really, really, annoying.
I'm also worried that you'll end up leaving me once you find out that I'm not as sure as I was a few months ago. You've been bettering yourself while I've been staying the same. What if you meet somebody better? I don't think my heart could take it, and though I know, right now, at this moment, I don't deserve you.
The fear, the unknowing, the stress, the agitation-it's all becoming to much for me.
Maybe I'm just scared. Our relationship is getting serious and I think I'm scared of commitment.
I love you. I know I do. But I don't know if I'm ready for the engagement What do I do?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
Confession #890
I do so many of the things other wives are confessing they hate their
husbands for and I'm terrified that you are going to hate me for it.
I'm lazy, I'm a slob, I spend most days sitting at the computer, I
never finish anything I start, and I'm a bad mother. When I tell you
that, you say, "Look at our daughter, she's amazing, and that's
because of you!" but I know that it's only despite me. I think Elmo
pays more attention to her than I do. Your family sees what a loser I
am, and I'm sure they wonder why you don't. Sometimes I wonder if I'm
some sort of project for you. Like because you can fix anything, you
want to see if you can fix me. And I do need fixing. But you deserve a
wife who doesn't need to be fixed, or at least one who isn't as
completely broken as I am.
Sometimes I wonder if you like me this way. When I'm at my lowest lows
is when you are the tenderest and give me the most help. Maybe I am
this way because it's working. I can get away with being lazy if I
just tell you how often I think of killing myself, which really is
often, because then you do the dishes that I have let sit in the sink
for a week and order us a pizza so I don't have to do anything. And if
I scream about how overwhelmed I am, you'll come home on your
lunch break and vacuum and tell me that I'm doing a great job. And I
love you so much for that, and I hate myself so much for it.
I know I can do better. I know I am capable of great things. You know
this, and you have helped convince me of it. I'm trying to be better,
and have faced many setbacks. Sometimes it is hard not to give up on
myself when I feel like the only person in the world who HASN'T given
up on me is you. And I'm sure you will too, one day. I don't know why
you haven't already.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
True Wife Confessions Crazy 88, O-Ren Ishii's Army
Confession #881
Sometimes you tell me that you think I love the kids more than I love you. I would die for them, but would not do the same for you. Does that make it true?
Confession #882
I don’t care if your kids hate me. I don’t care if your family hates me. I don’t want anything more in this world than to be with you, in love with you. My entire world revolves around you. I want to be the reason that you are happy, the reason you smile. I’m tired of constantly fighting with everyone because your “kids” turn everything that I say around to make me out to be a heinous beast. If that’s what they want, I can deliver, but I don’t want to hurt you. I know that it kills you the way they act and the things that they do and I just don’t want to add to that turmoil. I want your family to get their heads out of the mud and realize that these “kids” are adults and it’s time to stop enabling your son to be a drug addict and a thief and it’s time to stop enabling your daughter to be a dead-beat mother. I love our granddaughter more than my next breath and all the things I do for your daughter are SOLELY because of my love for that baby. So what’s going to give? I never wanted things to be like this. I wanted to love those kids and help them and all I get in return is hatred and name calling…I don’t want to stoop to their level, but I’m almost to the point of living as the monster they created. What in the world did we do to deserve this? You are so sweet and mellow and loving and intelligent…I can’t believe these retarded problems came from your DNA.
I love you. I will never stop loving you. BUT my fuse is about to run out and if they think things were ugly before, well they ain’t seen nothing yet.
Confession #883
I am so tired of seeing your porn everywhere i go in this house, tired of
you and your friends opening up to your "favorite" pages and shouting
"YEAH!" or "NICE!", tired of seeing tits hanging on every wall of our
garage. I used to be in the "porn is alright" camp. It never bothered me
before if my s.o. was looking at a Playboy, some internet porn, or watching
a movie - every once in awhile. I knew it was something all men do. I
didn't realize some had to do it EVERY DAY.
Sometimes I think I should be thankful that you don't have anything truly
disgusting around, that you don't spend hours on the Internet or in a strip
club. If someone held a gun to my head and asked what would I rather see for
the rest of my life, strange boobs or unknown shaved snatch, I would
definitely pick boobs. I really wouldn't care about your current magazine
obssession if they weren't in every bathroom, our bedroom, and stacked up in
the spare room. And then the fact that you and all your friends get together
and have some kind of discussion panel about it all. Could you do that when
I'm not around?
And by the way, if you could pull your head out of the biker porn/girls gone
wild shit for just a sec, you would find that you are living with a person
with an awesome rack of natural tits who you could actually hump once and
awhile. What a fucking concept - you live with a size 6 who works out every
day, who spends a fortune on her hair, waxing, and fuck me shoes, AND you
could see her naked - IN THE FLESH. Maybe the alcoholic blackouts make you
forget that is an option and you think I am just a roommate that cooks and
cleans for you.
Just sign me "Titted Out"
PS - Please stop asking everyone's girlfriends when they are going to show
you their "big guns". I know you are drunk when you do it and think it is
very cute and flattering, but you are not a hot, 20 yr old frat guy. You
are a 34 yr old man with the beginnings of a beer gut, and it is unsettling,
not to mention unbecoming.
Confession #884
Honey,
I love you. Absolutely, without a doubt. Love you. Period.
Except...
I love him too. Maybe I love him more, hell I don't know ... I do know that he needs me, that I think about him every day. It's good to be needed. I know you need me, but you never make me feel that way. I'd imagine if I left you wouldn't even notice except that your laundry didn't get done and no one asked you to take out the trash. I have to admit that I wish he'd move to Maryland with us just so I could still be close to him. I know you'd do anything for me, I know you love me and want me to be happy ... I also know you don't deserve this. The most awful part about it is that I think he loves me too. But I don't know ... I'm not sure ... I could very well be blowing smoke up my own ass and I wouldn't even know it. You told me you're uncomfortable with the idea of me spending so much time with him ... You probably should be.
Sometimes (especially at the beginning of our marriage) you used to come to bed drunk and talk about how I loved him more than I love you. You told me yesterday that you thought I was happier with him than I am with you. He makes me happy in a different way than you do. I like having someone around that shares my interests and can listen to the same music, watch the same tv and go to the same movies as me. I want to have a conversation that doesn't involve killing animals. His is the laugh-out-loud-until-milk-comes-out-your-nose, good-feeling-all-day kind of happy. Yours is the feel-good-coming-home, quiet kind of happy. He makes me want to laugh and spin around in circles, you make me want to curl up on the couch at home.
Why?
Why Why Why? Damn it, why? Maybe I don't deserve you and I know that so I'm trying to sabotage us... maybe I married you because it seemed like a good idea at the time ... kind of sporadic and random which is NOT the way a marriage should start but ... there you are. God love you but you got me by pure luck, dearest. If he'd had the balls to come up to me and tell me how he felt I'd be with him. And he loves me in a different way than either of you ... what the hell am I going to do? Love you. Move away. Hide myself.
Confession #885
I’m lonely and I’m hurting. I need you and I keep reaching out to you and you just turn the TV on, can you not feel that this past year could quite possibly be leading to the demise of our marriage? I can’t keep begging you to work with me to fix it, to get back to good. I feel myself becoming resentful, I still love you so much, but I worry, because I know that it could possibly fade away. Please, please hear me. Please pay attention to my words and the silence and tears. I love you and I want us back.
Confession #886
I know that sleeping with other men won't fix the issues of power in our marriage, but it's all I can think of right now.
Confession #887
I know you don't want another child. I know you are scared that I am going to lie and stop taking my birth control. Don't lie to me and say that you don't trust the birth control. It's me you don't trust! I would never intentionally get pregnant without you being on board. If we have another night like last night it will be a damn long time before you get sex again...........if ever! I felt used. I don't appreciate it and I don't deserve it.
Confession #888
I'm in hell. I had an amazing night of passion - an affair, if you will - with a younger man and it was incredible. I thought, no big deal - I'm not attached, this isn't a person I'm having an emotional affair with - it was a one night, strictly physical. I decided, I'd really like to do it again. So recently I had what I thought was a great opportunity. I thought everything would fall nicely into place, and everything was going so well ... I made the suggestion, and after an ackward pause he told me he already had a friend staying with him that night - a pretty girl, his own age (my words, not his). I'm not ancient, by any means, but at that moment I felt every minute of my 28 years. I was so embarrassed, I felt like crawling into a hole in the floor and dying. I made a hasty, ridiculous exit, and spent most of the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, alone, smacking my forehead in disbelief at what a complete ass I could be. I am so, so stupid. I must have left my dignity back in college. And here I am getting ready to start life alone again, as we are separating ... god, I wish I knew what to do. I'm starting to feel like I don't belong in either the married world OR the single world. This whole situation just SUCKS.
Confession #889
Last night as I lay beside you listening to you breathe I felt the first wave wash over me. Today after dropping you off at the airport I drove home listening to music I haven't played since last December, and again I felt the wave. It was a wave of love, warm and wonderful and magical. It pulled me under and enveloped me in the most intense feeling of love, for you.
I haven't felt that kind of overwhelming love for you in quite some time. That's not to say I haven't been loving you, but somehow the intensity had begun to fade, and despite my missing it, I couldn't manage to bring it back. Until last night, your back to me, I reached out to stroke your shoulder and you moaned softly.
I do love you, more than words can say. I love you more than life. And I want this marriage to work, I want that more than I've ever wanted anything. But I'm still afraid of being hurt, of being betrayed. Please don't betray me, don't hurt me. Just love me.
Confession #890
I resent the fact that I am in charge of all Target trips and groceries and when we run out of money tell me "DON'T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!" As though that is even a possibility.
I resent the fact that I am responsible for buying milk, and noticing when we are running low. I resent that fact that when I ask you to pick it up, you just plain forget 50% of the time. AND YOU WORK IN GROCERY STORES. It never even occurs to you to check. Fucking slacker.
I resent the fact that I am responsible for all grocery shopping, all of our child's supplies, clothes, shoes diapers, and when I buy those things, and an occasional extra, you treat me like I AM IRRESPONSIBLE FOR SPENDING MONEY!!!!!!! I MAKE TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!!
I resent the fact that it is ALWAYS ASSUMED that I will figure out a way to pay for your credit card, which you MAX OUT EVERY TIME I PAY IT OFF!!!!!
I resent the fact that you are supposed to pay our bills, and at the end of the month that I get a commission check, every time I plan a little extra to buy myself something, you slip in that I need to pay a bill or two and I find out you have not paid A SINGLE BILL ALL MONTH LONG!!!! ARE YOU A DRUG ADDICT? WHERE DOES YOUR FUCKING MONEY GO?
I resent the fact that I waited 3 years for a new stove, and when we finally went out to get one because I could afford to pay cash, you decided we needed a new washer and dryer, which we bought that DAY. Now I have to figure out a way to pay off $2,400.00 in 2 months!!!!!
I resent the fact that you start home improvement projects with NO WAY OF FINANCING THEM, again, saddling me with the responsibility of figuring out how to pay for it. You charge things to Home Depot and guess who figures out a way to PAY!!!! ME!!!!!!
I resent the fact that I am responsible for ALL OF THIS, and you still treat me like a CHILD who needs to be met at the door every time I stay out past 10:00 p.m. with my friends!
I resent the fact that I am supposed to be responsible for all of this, and you freak out on me if I don't lavish you with praise for cleaning the house!!!!!
I resent the fact that you require kudos for every pet project around the house you do, while I am the default person for cooking, bathing, feeding, and dressing our child each and every day, making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, all after I have worked full time each day!
I resent the fact that you take a nap every fucking day while our daughter sleeps, and you still want to talk about how tired you are because of how hard you worked on your pet projects that day. I DON'T GET PET PROJECTS BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY WORKING, COOKING, DRESSING AND FEEDING OUR CHILD!!!!!!
I don't want to have another child because the thought of raising 2 kids plus putting up with all your shit exhausts me. I know I would lose my mind because of all your head-fucking.
I RESENT THE FACT THAT YOU IMPLY I WATCH TOO MUCH TELEVISION WHEN THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS I JUST CAN'T STAND TO LISTEN TO YOUR MARTYR SCHTICK ANY MORE WHEN I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED FROM WORKING TO PAY OFF YOUR SHIT!!!
I resent the fact that you have $300 shoes and I can't even afford 2 pairs of pants for work.
I RESENT THE FACT THAT I AM BEING USED FINANCIALLY, WHILE BEING TREATED LIKE I AM IRRESPONSIBLE., WHEN THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS YOU ARE THE IRRESPONSIBLE ONE AND YOU GET OFF ON TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD!!!!
I resent the fact that you blame all our problems on me, while you are the one who refuses to go to marriage counseling.
I AM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT!!!!
Sometimes you tell me that you think I love the kids more than I love you. I would die for them, but would not do the same for you. Does that make it true?
Confession #882
I don’t care if your kids hate me. I don’t care if your family hates me. I don’t want anything more in this world than to be with you, in love with you. My entire world revolves around you. I want to be the reason that you are happy, the reason you smile. I’m tired of constantly fighting with everyone because your “kids” turn everything that I say around to make me out to be a heinous beast. If that’s what they want, I can deliver, but I don’t want to hurt you. I know that it kills you the way they act and the things that they do and I just don’t want to add to that turmoil. I want your family to get their heads out of the mud and realize that these “kids” are adults and it’s time to stop enabling your son to be a drug addict and a thief and it’s time to stop enabling your daughter to be a dead-beat mother. I love our granddaughter more than my next breath and all the things I do for your daughter are SOLELY because of my love for that baby. So what’s going to give? I never wanted things to be like this. I wanted to love those kids and help them and all I get in return is hatred and name calling…I don’t want to stoop to their level, but I’m almost to the point of living as the monster they created. What in the world did we do to deserve this? You are so sweet and mellow and loving and intelligent…I can’t believe these retarded problems came from your DNA.
I love you. I will never stop loving you. BUT my fuse is about to run out and if they think things were ugly before, well they ain’t seen nothing yet.
Confession #883
I am so tired of seeing your porn everywhere i go in this house, tired of
you and your friends opening up to your "favorite" pages and shouting
"YEAH!" or "NICE!", tired of seeing tits hanging on every wall of our
garage. I used to be in the "porn is alright" camp. It never bothered me
before if my s.o. was looking at a Playboy, some internet porn, or watching
a movie - every once in awhile. I knew it was something all men do. I
didn't realize some had to do it EVERY DAY.
Sometimes I think I should be thankful that you don't have anything truly
disgusting around, that you don't spend hours on the Internet or in a strip
club. If someone held a gun to my head and asked what would I rather see for
the rest of my life, strange boobs or unknown shaved snatch, I would
definitely pick boobs. I really wouldn't care about your current magazine
obssession if they weren't in every bathroom, our bedroom, and stacked up in
the spare room. And then the fact that you and all your friends get together
and have some kind of discussion panel about it all. Could you do that when
I'm not around?
And by the way, if you could pull your head out of the biker porn/girls gone
wild shit for just a sec, you would find that you are living with a person
with an awesome rack of natural tits who you could actually hump once and
awhile. What a fucking concept - you live with a size 6 who works out every
day, who spends a fortune on her hair, waxing, and fuck me shoes, AND you
could see her naked - IN THE FLESH. Maybe the alcoholic blackouts make you
forget that is an option and you think I am just a roommate that cooks and
cleans for you.
Just sign me "Titted Out"
PS - Please stop asking everyone's girlfriends when they are going to show
you their "big guns". I know you are drunk when you do it and think it is
very cute and flattering, but you are not a hot, 20 yr old frat guy. You
are a 34 yr old man with the beginnings of a beer gut, and it is unsettling,
not to mention unbecoming.
Confession #884
Honey,
I love you. Absolutely, without a doubt. Love you. Period.
Except...
I love him too. Maybe I love him more, hell I don't know ... I do know that he needs me, that I think about him every day. It's good to be needed. I know you need me, but you never make me feel that way. I'd imagine if I left you wouldn't even notice except that your laundry didn't get done and no one asked you to take out the trash. I have to admit that I wish he'd move to Maryland with us just so I could still be close to him. I know you'd do anything for me, I know you love me and want me to be happy ... I also know you don't deserve this. The most awful part about it is that I think he loves me too. But I don't know ... I'm not sure ... I could very well be blowing smoke up my own ass and I wouldn't even know it. You told me you're uncomfortable with the idea of me spending so much time with him ... You probably should be.
Sometimes (especially at the beginning of our marriage) you used to come to bed drunk and talk about how I loved him more than I love you. You told me yesterday that you thought I was happier with him than I am with you. He makes me happy in a different way than you do. I like having someone around that shares my interests and can listen to the same music, watch the same tv and go to the same movies as me. I want to have a conversation that doesn't involve killing animals. His is the laugh-out-loud-until-milk-comes-out-your-nose, good-feeling-all-day kind of happy. Yours is the feel-good-coming-home, quiet kind of happy. He makes me want to laugh and spin around in circles, you make me want to curl up on the couch at home.
Why?
Why Why Why? Damn it, why? Maybe I don't deserve you and I know that so I'm trying to sabotage us... maybe I married you because it seemed like a good idea at the time ... kind of sporadic and random which is NOT the way a marriage should start but ... there you are. God love you but you got me by pure luck, dearest. If he'd had the balls to come up to me and tell me how he felt I'd be with him. And he loves me in a different way than either of you ... what the hell am I going to do? Love you. Move away. Hide myself.
Confession #885
I’m lonely and I’m hurting. I need you and I keep reaching out to you and you just turn the TV on, can you not feel that this past year could quite possibly be leading to the demise of our marriage? I can’t keep begging you to work with me to fix it, to get back to good. I feel myself becoming resentful, I still love you so much, but I worry, because I know that it could possibly fade away. Please, please hear me. Please pay attention to my words and the silence and tears. I love you and I want us back.
Confession #886
I know that sleeping with other men won't fix the issues of power in our marriage, but it's all I can think of right now.
Confession #887
I know you don't want another child. I know you are scared that I am going to lie and stop taking my birth control. Don't lie to me and say that you don't trust the birth control. It's me you don't trust! I would never intentionally get pregnant without you being on board. If we have another night like last night it will be a damn long time before you get sex again...........if ever! I felt used. I don't appreciate it and I don't deserve it.
Confession #888
I'm in hell. I had an amazing night of passion - an affair, if you will - with a younger man and it was incredible. I thought, no big deal - I'm not attached, this isn't a person I'm having an emotional affair with - it was a one night, strictly physical. I decided, I'd really like to do it again. So recently I had what I thought was a great opportunity. I thought everything would fall nicely into place, and everything was going so well ... I made the suggestion, and after an ackward pause he told me he already had a friend staying with him that night - a pretty girl, his own age (my words, not his). I'm not ancient, by any means, but at that moment I felt every minute of my 28 years. I was so embarrassed, I felt like crawling into a hole in the floor and dying. I made a hasty, ridiculous exit, and spent most of the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, alone, smacking my forehead in disbelief at what a complete ass I could be. I am so, so stupid. I must have left my dignity back in college. And here I am getting ready to start life alone again, as we are separating ... god, I wish I knew what to do. I'm starting to feel like I don't belong in either the married world OR the single world. This whole situation just SUCKS.
Confession #889
Last night as I lay beside you listening to you breathe I felt the first wave wash over me. Today after dropping you off at the airport I drove home listening to music I haven't played since last December, and again I felt the wave. It was a wave of love, warm and wonderful and magical. It pulled me under and enveloped me in the most intense feeling of love, for you.
I haven't felt that kind of overwhelming love for you in quite some time. That's not to say I haven't been loving you, but somehow the intensity had begun to fade, and despite my missing it, I couldn't manage to bring it back. Until last night, your back to me, I reached out to stroke your shoulder and you moaned softly.
I do love you, more than words can say. I love you more than life. And I want this marriage to work, I want that more than I've ever wanted anything. But I'm still afraid of being hurt, of being betrayed. Please don't betray me, don't hurt me. Just love me.
Confession #890
I resent the fact that I am in charge of all Target trips and groceries and when we run out of money tell me "DON'T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE!" As though that is even a possibility.
I resent the fact that I am responsible for buying milk, and noticing when we are running low. I resent that fact that when I ask you to pick it up, you just plain forget 50% of the time. AND YOU WORK IN GROCERY STORES. It never even occurs to you to check. Fucking slacker.
I resent the fact that I am responsible for all grocery shopping, all of our child's supplies, clothes, shoes diapers, and when I buy those things, and an occasional extra, you treat me like I AM IRRESPONSIBLE FOR SPENDING MONEY!!!!!!! I MAKE TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!!
I resent the fact that it is ALWAYS ASSUMED that I will figure out a way to pay for your credit card, which you MAX OUT EVERY TIME I PAY IT OFF!!!!!
I resent the fact that you are supposed to pay our bills, and at the end of the month that I get a commission check, every time I plan a little extra to buy myself something, you slip in that I need to pay a bill or two and I find out you have not paid A SINGLE BILL ALL MONTH LONG!!!! ARE YOU A DRUG ADDICT? WHERE DOES YOUR FUCKING MONEY GO?
I resent the fact that I waited 3 years for a new stove, and when we finally went out to get one because I could afford to pay cash, you decided we needed a new washer and dryer, which we bought that DAY. Now I have to figure out a way to pay off $2,400.00 in 2 months!!!!!
I resent the fact that you start home improvement projects with NO WAY OF FINANCING THEM, again, saddling me with the responsibility of figuring out how to pay for it. You charge things to Home Depot and guess who figures out a way to PAY!!!! ME!!!!!!
I resent the fact that I am responsible for ALL OF THIS, and you still treat me like a CHILD who needs to be met at the door every time I stay out past 10:00 p.m. with my friends!
I resent the fact that I am supposed to be responsible for all of this, and you freak out on me if I don't lavish you with praise for cleaning the house!!!!!
I resent the fact that you require kudos for every pet project around the house you do, while I am the default person for cooking, bathing, feeding, and dressing our child each and every day, making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, all after I have worked full time each day!
I resent the fact that you take a nap every fucking day while our daughter sleeps, and you still want to talk about how tired you are because of how hard you worked on your pet projects that day. I DON'T GET PET PROJECTS BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY WORKING, COOKING, DRESSING AND FEEDING OUR CHILD!!!!!!
I don't want to have another child because the thought of raising 2 kids plus putting up with all your shit exhausts me. I know I would lose my mind because of all your head-fucking.
I RESENT THE FACT THAT YOU IMPLY I WATCH TOO MUCH TELEVISION WHEN THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS I JUST CAN'T STAND TO LISTEN TO YOUR MARTYR SCHTICK ANY MORE WHEN I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED FROM WORKING TO PAY OFF YOUR SHIT!!!
I resent the fact that you have $300 shoes and I can't even afford 2 pairs of pants for work.
I RESENT THE FACT THAT I AM BEING USED FINANCIALLY, WHILE BEING TREATED LIKE I AM IRRESPONSIBLE., WHEN THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS YOU ARE THE IRRESPONSIBLE ONE AND YOU GET OFF ON TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD!!!!
I resent the fact that you blame all our problems on me, while you are the one who refuses to go to marriage counseling.
I AM ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT!!!!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
True Wife Confessions 87, total of fourscore and seven....
Confession #871
I know you've been avoiding me and I know you've been lying to me. I think it's hilarious that you assume I am that stupid. If you don't want to be friends anymore at least have the decency, consideration and BALLS to tell me. I've always been there for you. Don't avoid me like a coward. With friends like you, who needs enemies?
Confession #872
By doing nothing now you are confirming your daughter's conviction that you are a bad father.
If you were capable of putting yourself in another's shoes, you might realise that this is likely what your own father did: Nothing. Do you honestly think he liked being the bad father? I'm sure he realised in your absence what it was he'd done to drive you away and wished he could have made some kind of reconciliation, but had no idea how to go about it and so did nothing. It may be easier to do nothing, but look at how much you regret not being able to make amends with him. You do want the same thing to happen with you and your daughter?
Confession #873
Dear Husband,
I love you in every way I can imagine. Except the most important. You don't love my child like you love me or like I love her. Having lived without companionship and love and conversation for so long, I had become accustomed to it. Then, I met you and you were those things and more and I welcomed it. I was cautious and I thought I was right. But, when I'm enjoying and loving you, in front of her and she sees you loving me right back, I feel like she knows that you don't love her, even though I see you try, and I feel like a traitor. And, I am, I suppose. I keep thinking that it'll grow on you, that it takes time, because she's not yours. And, you act like her father when you discipline and talk and explain and instruct, but that is all you do with her. She craves your attention and when you come home and take mine, she tries to get in between so that she isn't left out by you AND me and when you think she's being annoying and I tell you that she needs you, the weak attempts and insincerity almost make me not love you anymore. But, they make me hate myself for meeting the almost perfect man. And, I am going to leave you, because I love her more than I love having you in my life. But, I've never loved anyone like you. And, I keep waiting to hate you for something, to make it easier to leave. And, I hate myself for not leaving and for not thinking that your non-existent relationship with my daughter isn't a good enough reason to leave. And, I am angry, because up until we committed to each other, you were a great Dad. And, I am angry, because I let her call you Dad, when she was just fine having a single Mom and now she feels left out of a whole family. I love you. Oh well. Now she'll be a product of a broken home, instead of the one she started with, which was perfect before you came into our lives with all your promises and idealistic dreams masked as truth and love for the both of us. You are worse than her biological father. He didn't pretend to be here, he just wasn't. She's growing up feeling excluded, like an aggravation and that is not good enough. You should not be my husband. You should not be my father's daughter.
Confession #874
Hubby,
I need to quit my job. If you don't understand why, then I will put
it in terms that you can understand: my boss wants to have sex with
me and given the huge amount of time that I spend at the office, I
feel more and more of a pull towards an infidelity that I do not want
or need.
I am scared ... so very scared of what may happen next. I don't even
want to go to the office tomorrow. I want to hop in the car and drive
somewhere, ANYWHERE else but there. There is just so much dysfunction
(you know it's bad when the HR director is the one engaging in
near-blatant sexual harassment) and I just don't know what to do next.
Please believe me when I say that I love you. Please also believe me
when I say that I need to get OUT of that environment!!!
I do love you. I'll be strong, but if things go too far, I'm giving
my notice. The benefits don't make up for the insanity.
Your adoring wife
Confession #875
So we are still under the same roof - we've decided to try. What I don't know how to tell you is that the last thing in the entire world I feel like doing right now is trying. Getting "advice" from our friends and family is driving me into a state of absolute anger and frustration, and I never want to come home to this place at night. I'm SO sick of talking, that every time you start, I want to scream. I don't know how I'll ever get in the right frame of mind to make this work. I'm frustrated and I'm mad at you simply for being you - and you are great. But not for me. Not right now. And yes, I will probably pay for it later when I'm desperately lonely and you've moved on and have the family you've always wanted. But I think I deserve to to be lonely. I've done quite wrong by you, and I would like this to end, so I can go gallivanting about, sleeping with strangers and living my life alone. Sorry. I feel like if we go to counseling, I'll be going through the motions while picturing the amazing sex I had recently that you will never know anything about.
Confession #876
I love you. You are a wonderful husband and a great provider, but today I wanted to ask you if you were crazy and/or stupid.
You have a good chance at getting a job three hours away that will give you a raise that would be the same as me working, but I would get to still be a stay at home mom. My staying home was something that I thought we both wanted. Yes, I know it would mean moving and that idea scares me as much as it does you. However, being afraid of moving is NO reason to turn the job down when your current company offers to change your status from contract employee to permanent employee and give you only five grand a year more. Five grand is duck sh*t compared to what the other company is offering!
What blows my mind is that you are seriously considering it!
I hope you know that I would never leave you over something as piddly as money; I love you too much. However, if you turn down this opportunity without some serious consideration, I am pretty sure that you will live in hell for a few weeks. Just consider this forewarning.
Confession #877
I can't stop fantasizing about a man I almost dated before my husband and I
reunited after a breakup. My husband is an awesome father, the love and
heart of my life and a really lousy lay. He just doesn't get it no matter
how much I try to give him help, guidance, etc. I am so frustrated that I'm
going to spend the rest of my life not having wall slamming, awesome sex.
Most of the time it just feels like mutual masturbation versus lust.
Confession #878
I have to confess -- I am no longer attracted to you. You've gained about 40 pounds during the past year or two, and that huge beer belly has no appeal whatsoever. Your hair has turned completely grey, and while I can take it on your head, grey chest hair is totally disgusting. And those teeth? Geez -- they're about as yellow as any I've ever seen. With that white mustache right on top of them, they look even worse. All that coffee, smoking, and red wine has taken its toll. So every time I look at you, I see flab, white hair, and yellow teeth. Yuck. I'm no longer interested in getting anywhere near you.
Confession #879
I really wish i could leave you. i am so sick and tired of your constant whining and complaining. you are the most negative person i know. i hate you more every day i stay. i hate dealing with your mother, who you get it from. you treat everyone like crap, then bitch when someone treats you that way.
you wonder why our son wanted to kill himself, you are the reason for his rotten self worth.
i wish you would just die.
i am also really sick and tired of you nagging about sex. i have a full time job, two kids, and you to clean up after. i am not in the mood for sex the minute you touch my breasts.
BEAT IT BOZO.
Confession #880
I have always said that actions speak louder then words. I hope my actions show you everyday, how much I truly care for you, and how much I want you to be happy and satisfied. I love you with my whole heart but unfortunately I never realized how much I care about you until after I had a one night stand with someone else. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Everytime you treat me with anything less then respect I feel like I deserve it because I slept with someone else. You don't know I did it and I want to tell you but I don't want to lose you. I know you would never understand that it was the biggest mistake of my life and Iw ould never do anything to hurt you again. I am not going to tell you, I am going to show you every single day how much I love you. Please forgive me for being so awful.
I know you've been avoiding me and I know you've been lying to me. I think it's hilarious that you assume I am that stupid. If you don't want to be friends anymore at least have the decency, consideration and BALLS to tell me. I've always been there for you. Don't avoid me like a coward. With friends like you, who needs enemies?
Confession #872
By doing nothing now you are confirming your daughter's conviction that you are a bad father.
If you were capable of putting yourself in another's shoes, you might realise that this is likely what your own father did: Nothing. Do you honestly think he liked being the bad father? I'm sure he realised in your absence what it was he'd done to drive you away and wished he could have made some kind of reconciliation, but had no idea how to go about it and so did nothing. It may be easier to do nothing, but look at how much you regret not being able to make amends with him. You do want the same thing to happen with you and your daughter?
Confession #873
Dear Husband,
I love you in every way I can imagine. Except the most important. You don't love my child like you love me or like I love her. Having lived without companionship and love and conversation for so long, I had become accustomed to it. Then, I met you and you were those things and more and I welcomed it. I was cautious and I thought I was right. But, when I'm enjoying and loving you, in front of her and she sees you loving me right back, I feel like she knows that you don't love her, even though I see you try, and I feel like a traitor. And, I am, I suppose. I keep thinking that it'll grow on you, that it takes time, because she's not yours. And, you act like her father when you discipline and talk and explain and instruct, but that is all you do with her. She craves your attention and when you come home and take mine, she tries to get in between so that she isn't left out by you AND me and when you think she's being annoying and I tell you that she needs you, the weak attempts and insincerity almost make me not love you anymore. But, they make me hate myself for meeting the almost perfect man. And, I am going to leave you, because I love her more than I love having you in my life. But, I've never loved anyone like you. And, I keep waiting to hate you for something, to make it easier to leave. And, I hate myself for not leaving and for not thinking that your non-existent relationship with my daughter isn't a good enough reason to leave. And, I am angry, because up until we committed to each other, you were a great Dad. And, I am angry, because I let her call you Dad, when she was just fine having a single Mom and now she feels left out of a whole family. I love you. Oh well. Now she'll be a product of a broken home, instead of the one she started with, which was perfect before you came into our lives with all your promises and idealistic dreams masked as truth and love for the both of us. You are worse than her biological father. He didn't pretend to be here, he just wasn't. She's growing up feeling excluded, like an aggravation and that is not good enough. You should not be my husband. You should not be my father's daughter.
Confession #874
Hubby,
I need to quit my job. If you don't understand why, then I will put
it in terms that you can understand: my boss wants to have sex with
me and given the huge amount of time that I spend at the office, I
feel more and more of a pull towards an infidelity that I do not want
or need.
I am scared ... so very scared of what may happen next. I don't even
want to go to the office tomorrow. I want to hop in the car and drive
somewhere, ANYWHERE else but there. There is just so much dysfunction
(you know it's bad when the HR director is the one engaging in
near-blatant sexual harassment) and I just don't know what to do next.
Please believe me when I say that I love you. Please also believe me
when I say that I need to get OUT of that environment!!!
I do love you. I'll be strong, but if things go too far, I'm giving
my notice. The benefits don't make up for the insanity.
Your adoring wife
Confession #875
So we are still under the same roof - we've decided to try. What I don't know how to tell you is that the last thing in the entire world I feel like doing right now is trying. Getting "advice" from our friends and family is driving me into a state of absolute anger and frustration, and I never want to come home to this place at night. I'm SO sick of talking, that every time you start, I want to scream. I don't know how I'll ever get in the right frame of mind to make this work. I'm frustrated and I'm mad at you simply for being you - and you are great. But not for me. Not right now. And yes, I will probably pay for it later when I'm desperately lonely and you've moved on and have the family you've always wanted. But I think I deserve to to be lonely. I've done quite wrong by you, and I would like this to end, so I can go gallivanting about, sleeping with strangers and living my life alone. Sorry. I feel like if we go to counseling, I'll be going through the motions while picturing the amazing sex I had recently that you will never know anything about.
Confession #876
I love you. You are a wonderful husband and a great provider, but today I wanted to ask you if you were crazy and/or stupid.
You have a good chance at getting a job three hours away that will give you a raise that would be the same as me working, but I would get to still be a stay at home mom. My staying home was something that I thought we both wanted. Yes, I know it would mean moving and that idea scares me as much as it does you. However, being afraid of moving is NO reason to turn the job down when your current company offers to change your status from contract employee to permanent employee and give you only five grand a year more. Five grand is duck sh*t compared to what the other company is offering!
What blows my mind is that you are seriously considering it!
I hope you know that I would never leave you over something as piddly as money; I love you too much. However, if you turn down this opportunity without some serious consideration, I am pretty sure that you will live in hell for a few weeks. Just consider this forewarning.
Confession #877
I can't stop fantasizing about a man I almost dated before my husband and I
reunited after a breakup. My husband is an awesome father, the love and
heart of my life and a really lousy lay. He just doesn't get it no matter
how much I try to give him help, guidance, etc. I am so frustrated that I'm
going to spend the rest of my life not having wall slamming, awesome sex.
Most of the time it just feels like mutual masturbation versus lust.
Confession #878
I have to confess -- I am no longer attracted to you. You've gained about 40 pounds during the past year or two, and that huge beer belly has no appeal whatsoever. Your hair has turned completely grey, and while I can take it on your head, grey chest hair is totally disgusting. And those teeth? Geez -- they're about as yellow as any I've ever seen. With that white mustache right on top of them, they look even worse. All that coffee, smoking, and red wine has taken its toll. So every time I look at you, I see flab, white hair, and yellow teeth. Yuck. I'm no longer interested in getting anywhere near you.
Confession #879
I really wish i could leave you. i am so sick and tired of your constant whining and complaining. you are the most negative person i know. i hate you more every day i stay. i hate dealing with your mother, who you get it from. you treat everyone like crap, then bitch when someone treats you that way.
you wonder why our son wanted to kill himself, you are the reason for his rotten self worth.
i wish you would just die.
i am also really sick and tired of you nagging about sex. i have a full time job, two kids, and you to clean up after. i am not in the mood for sex the minute you touch my breasts.
BEAT IT BOZO.
Confession #880
I have always said that actions speak louder then words. I hope my actions show you everyday, how much I truly care for you, and how much I want you to be happy and satisfied. I love you with my whole heart but unfortunately I never realized how much I care about you until after I had a one night stand with someone else. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Everytime you treat me with anything less then respect I feel like I deserve it because I slept with someone else. You don't know I did it and I want to tell you but I don't want to lose you. I know you would never understand that it was the biggest mistake of my life and Iw ould never do anything to hurt you again. I am not going to tell you, I am going to show you every single day how much I love you. Please forgive me for being so awful.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
True Wife Confessions Agent 86
Confession #851
Your tightwad tendencies piss me off more than you will ever know. I know that we're not wealthy and that we can't just throw money away. But it would not kill you to let me spend a little money on myself once in a while without following up with the goddamn riot act. You act like I'm demanding that you cut off your testicle!
Confession #852
I'm glad you're not as blatant about looking at porn on our computer as you used to be. But you're still looking and lying to me about it. I'm not stupid. When I look over there and you close the window you're looking at real fast, I know you're doing something that you know I wouldn't like. I know how to go behind you and see what you're doing, and you still do it. God, you're either a total idiot or you just don't give a damn.
Everybody tells me that all men look at porn. "Men are all about the visual." I believe it, and in theory, I have no problem with it. But when it's you, it just makes me feel even less desirable than I already do. I wouldn't have a problem looking at it with you. But you just have to sneak around, and it makes me feel like you'd rather look at anybody but me and don't want me intruding on it. It makes me feel unloved and unsexy.
I know I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing. I know the antidepressant made me uninterested in sex for way too long. I think I probably gained all this weight just so you would leave me alone. I've changed medications and the feelings are starting to come back, but you don't even try to touch me anymore after getting shot down for so long. I'm scared that I've ruined that part of our relationship for good. And you looking at other girls who look like I never will doesn't help.
You're such a good man, and you've put up with a lot from me. I don't feel like I can ask you for anything else. But I will--please, please, if you're going to look at it, keep it hidden. In this case, ignorance is bliss.
Confession #853
I am sorry for what I am about to do. This past year has been so extremely isolating for me and I resent the fact that i didn't do much about it. He makes me feel like I am carefree for the first time in a long time. I feel like anything is possible with him. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel hungry. And I know he is hungry for me. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. He makes me feel like I am a woman not just someone's mom. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I cannot stop this from happening because I want it so much...
Confession #854
So how do i make you leave your girlfriend???
Confession #855
I did it. I knew I was going to. I had amazing sex, all night, with a very good friend. In all honesty, I can't wait to do it again
Confession #856
You know we have a diaper pail for a reason
Considering how small this apartment is you think you could use it
I realize you are on strike against using the changing table therefore you'd have to walk 10 feet into his room to throw it away.
Honestly though? I'm going to vomit if you keep throwing our son's nasty diapers in the regular garbage. You know. The garbage you only take out every week or so or until i break down
You know I'd do it if I could. But pregnant, a small child, and health issues restrict me
So you take your sweet time on taking out the trash but for heaven's sake please. Let the rotting diapers rot somewhere that I don't have to smell them. It's hard enough to get an appetite lately but with the rotting shit trash while I try to cook? I've thrown up in my mouth for the last time.
Confession #857
You have made me so crazy these days that I can't even speak without yelling. YOU did this, not me. YOU are a fucking loser, not me. Quit asking the same questions over and over -- it's just confirming that you're an idiot. If you haven't figured "it" out by now, you're never going to figure it out. Grow up and for god's sake get a clue! You've got one thing right: I'm definitely no longer in love with you. Thanks for the assistance with that!
Confession #858
I love you, dear husband. I really do. With all my heart and soul and all that other crap.
But I check your cell phone every single day. I check incoming calls and I check outgoing calls.
Not because I’m afraid there is someone else. I’m not afraid of that at all. I’m afraid someone in your stupid family will call you and make you miserable and upset and I won’t know why you are so unhappy.
I love you. They don’t deserve someone as good and kind as you.
Confession #859
Baby, don't give up your dreams for me, or the kids, or the money. I'll miss you while you're gone, but I'd rather have you gone than sad. So go for it! We can make it work! I'll always be here when you get back home.
Confession #860
I hate your ex-wife, I hate her so much I let it consume me and it makes me want to leave you. I will never understand how she can be so evil and mean, how she can say and do all the awful things she does. Why does she get all the power? I hate myself for letting her get to me and sometimes part of me hates you for having been married to her.
Your tightwad tendencies piss me off more than you will ever know. I know that we're not wealthy and that we can't just throw money away. But it would not kill you to let me spend a little money on myself once in a while without following up with the goddamn riot act. You act like I'm demanding that you cut off your testicle!
Confession #852
I'm glad you're not as blatant about looking at porn on our computer as you used to be. But you're still looking and lying to me about it. I'm not stupid. When I look over there and you close the window you're looking at real fast, I know you're doing something that you know I wouldn't like. I know how to go behind you and see what you're doing, and you still do it. God, you're either a total idiot or you just don't give a damn.
Everybody tells me that all men look at porn. "Men are all about the visual." I believe it, and in theory, I have no problem with it. But when it's you, it just makes me feel even less desirable than I already do. I wouldn't have a problem looking at it with you. But you just have to sneak around, and it makes me feel like you'd rather look at anybody but me and don't want me intruding on it. It makes me feel unloved and unsexy.
I know I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing. I know the antidepressant made me uninterested in sex for way too long. I think I probably gained all this weight just so you would leave me alone. I've changed medications and the feelings are starting to come back, but you don't even try to touch me anymore after getting shot down for so long. I'm scared that I've ruined that part of our relationship for good. And you looking at other girls who look like I never will doesn't help.
You're such a good man, and you've put up with a lot from me. I don't feel like I can ask you for anything else. But I will--please, please, if you're going to look at it, keep it hidden. In this case, ignorance is bliss.
Confession #853
I am sorry for what I am about to do. This past year has been so extremely isolating for me and I resent the fact that i didn't do much about it. He makes me feel like I am carefree for the first time in a long time. I feel like anything is possible with him. He makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel hungry. And I know he is hungry for me. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. He makes me feel like I am a woman not just someone's mom. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I cannot stop this from happening because I want it so much...
Confession #854
So how do i make you leave your girlfriend???
Confession #855
I did it. I knew I was going to. I had amazing sex, all night, with a very good friend. In all honesty, I can't wait to do it again
Confession #856
You know we have a diaper pail for a reason
Considering how small this apartment is you think you could use it
I realize you are on strike against using the changing table therefore you'd have to walk 10 feet into his room to throw it away.
Honestly though? I'm going to vomit if you keep throwing our son's nasty diapers in the regular garbage. You know. The garbage you only take out every week or so or until i break down
You know I'd do it if I could. But pregnant, a small child, and health issues restrict me
So you take your sweet time on taking out the trash but for heaven's sake please. Let the rotting diapers rot somewhere that I don't have to smell them. It's hard enough to get an appetite lately but with the rotting shit trash while I try to cook? I've thrown up in my mouth for the last time.
Confession #857
You have made me so crazy these days that I can't even speak without yelling. YOU did this, not me. YOU are a fucking loser, not me. Quit asking the same questions over and over -- it's just confirming that you're an idiot. If you haven't figured "it" out by now, you're never going to figure it out. Grow up and for god's sake get a clue! You've got one thing right: I'm definitely no longer in love with you. Thanks for the assistance with that!
Confession #858
I love you, dear husband. I really do. With all my heart and soul and all that other crap.
But I check your cell phone every single day. I check incoming calls and I check outgoing calls.
Not because I’m afraid there is someone else. I’m not afraid of that at all. I’m afraid someone in your stupid family will call you and make you miserable and upset and I won’t know why you are so unhappy.
I love you. They don’t deserve someone as good and kind as you.
Confession #859
Baby, don't give up your dreams for me, or the kids, or the money. I'll miss you while you're gone, but I'd rather have you gone than sad. So go for it! We can make it work! I'll always be here when you get back home.
Confession #860
I hate your ex-wife, I hate her so much I let it consume me and it makes me want to leave you. I will never understand how she can be so evil and mean, how she can say and do all the awful things she does. Why does she get all the power? I hate myself for letting her get to me and sometimes part of me hates you for having been married to her.
Monday, October 02, 2006
True Wife Confessions 85 tools on the Giant Swiss Army knife
Confession #841
You tell me you love me.
And I KNOW you do.
And I love you too.
We have a daughter together and a life together and so many memories past, present, and future.
There's just one problem.
I want a freaking engagement ring. A big one that sparkles like a star. And a proposal to go with it.
So hurry up, okay? Cause I'm not waiting forever.
Confession #842
I know that I'm overweight but, it doesn't help that you pinch my stomach
and ask me what we're going to name the baby and you know good and fucking
well that I'm not pregnant. And you wonder why we only have sex once a
month. Get a clue dick head.
Confession #843
I wish we never got married. I’ve had affairs with 3 people in the 6 years we’ve been married. One of them lasted over 3 years. I am not attracted to you and I hate giving you a blow job because I get pubes in my mouth and there’s a bump on your penis. Sex is awful because you just hump forever without taking any interest in how I like it. You put me down a lot, and you do it with a smile on your face, thinking it’s funny. You know full well it hurts my feelings but you still think it’s funny and than you get mad when I’m angry at you. DUH! Some days I can’t stand to look at you and I can’t wait for the kids to grow up so I can leave you. You lack conversation, sensitivity and you are selfish and unsupportive. I don’t feel loved and I am constantly lonely. In all the years we’ve been together, my constant attempts to get these things across to you have fallen on deaf and defensive ears. I think you don’t love me, because if you did you would want to help fix us. Ya, there’s a few good days here and there, but my smile is all a mask to cover the intense loneliness and sadness I feel.
Confession #844
I know I'm supposed to be proud that you're over in Iraq fighting for our
country but, your son is growing and learning tons of things everyday and
you're missing it all.
Confession #845
To my Brand New Husband:
I love you more than you will ever know. I know that I don't deserve your
love and care. I wish I could be a better wife to you, and I try, I really
do. I love that we're expecting our first child, and that you're
practically giddy about it. I love that you take me to all my doctor's
appointments, and watch the baby I take care of while we're there. I love
that you make me chocolate milk when I'm cranky, and being me ice cream
without me haveing to ask. I love that you have taken complete
responsibility for the dog that I had to have before we found out about the
baby, I love that you haven't once reminded that she is my dog. I love
everything about you. I love you so much, and I can't get enough of you. I
hope you feel the same way.
Thanks TWC. . .you're amazing!
Confession #846
I hate dealing with your anger.
I hate it when you come home ranting about how much you hate your job and how stupid your co-workers are. I feel like you're yelling AT me.
When I try to commiserate and offer suggestions, you snarl and get sarcastic and tell me all the ways my suggestion won't work, all the while implying that I'm stupid.
When I say nothing, you snarl and demand to know why I'm being silent.
When I try to touch you or hug you, you push me away and tell me you can't deal with that right now. So what the fuck am I supposed to do??!
You usually apologize to me later, but frankly, I'm sick and tired of dealing with this. STOP TAKING YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME, YOU PRICK! What you're doing is abusive, and I won't take much more of it!
Confession #847
I had an abortion 18 yrs ago. I never told you.
I think about that baby every day. My heart breaks over what I did. I don't deserve to live.
This is what all the therapy and medications are for. Not for OCD. (another lie....)I made a flippant choice, and I carry it heavy in my heart for the rest of my life.
I'm really sorry.
One day, I hope I can forgive myself.
Confession #848
I honestly don’t think that we are going to make it. I think that last
night was probably the worst fight that we have ever had. We fight all the
time. I’m pretty sure that you don’t love me anymore. I still love you but
I hate how angry I am all the time. If this thing we’re calling a marriage
ends it’ll be both our faults. I get frustrated too easily and scream at
you even though I know that you hate it; I can’t help it. I don’t know how
>to get you to listen. I tell you what I need over and over again but you
just don’t listen, or you don’t remember and I get hurt and frustrated and
angry and start screaming and that isn’t working either. Today I looked
into how much an apartment would run me if I left you. I hope we can work
things out because I love you so much but I can’t handle this much longer
Confession #849
I wear your shirt and sleep on your side of the bed when you're on
deployments just so the pain won't hurt so much when you're gone.
Confession #850
We waited for years to end up together, you and I. Through all our
separate relationships we managed to maintain a wonderful relationship
and always, in the back of my mind, and yours too, there was the
thought that we could end up together.
Well, it happened. You left your girlfriend, I was still single, and we
ended up seeing eachother. Everything was wonderful. We were even
better as a couple than we had been as friends. But after a few weeks,
she came crying and you took her back. It broke my heart, but I knew I
couldn't compete with the time you spent together and the security she
provided. You stopped talking to me completely. I was devastated. It
felt like everything you had told me for MONTHS had been a complete lie.
I'm pregnant. With your baby. I'm only a month in and I've got to make
a choice. You told me to keep it. You said you don't agree with
abortion and would never pass on the chance to bring a baby into this
world. But you can't support a child, and neither can I. I'm still in
school. I haven't finished my degree and I barely make enough to pay my
own bills, nevermind raise a baby. I don't want to do this, but I'm
having an abortion. It goes against everything I believe, EVERYTHING,
but I can't bring a baby into the world knowing what kind of life it
would have. You left me once, you'll leave me again.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the life I'm preventing. I'm sorry for the
pain I'll always feel and the regrets I will carry for the rest of my
life.
You tell me you love me.
And I KNOW you do.
And I love you too.
We have a daughter together and a life together and so many memories past, present, and future.
There's just one problem.
I want a freaking engagement ring. A big one that sparkles like a star. And a proposal to go with it.
So hurry up, okay? Cause I'm not waiting forever.
Confession #842
I know that I'm overweight but, it doesn't help that you pinch my stomach
and ask me what we're going to name the baby and you know good and fucking
well that I'm not pregnant. And you wonder why we only have sex once a
month. Get a clue dick head.
Confession #843
I wish we never got married. I’ve had affairs with 3 people in the 6 years we’ve been married. One of them lasted over 3 years. I am not attracted to you and I hate giving you a blow job because I get pubes in my mouth and there’s a bump on your penis. Sex is awful because you just hump forever without taking any interest in how I like it. You put me down a lot, and you do it with a smile on your face, thinking it’s funny. You know full well it hurts my feelings but you still think it’s funny and than you get mad when I’m angry at you. DUH! Some days I can’t stand to look at you and I can’t wait for the kids to grow up so I can leave you. You lack conversation, sensitivity and you are selfish and unsupportive. I don’t feel loved and I am constantly lonely. In all the years we’ve been together, my constant attempts to get these things across to you have fallen on deaf and defensive ears. I think you don’t love me, because if you did you would want to help fix us. Ya, there’s a few good days here and there, but my smile is all a mask to cover the intense loneliness and sadness I feel.
Confession #844
I know I'm supposed to be proud that you're over in Iraq fighting for our
country but, your son is growing and learning tons of things everyday and
you're missing it all.
Confession #845
To my Brand New Husband:
I love you more than you will ever know. I know that I don't deserve your
love and care. I wish I could be a better wife to you, and I try, I really
do. I love that we're expecting our first child, and that you're
practically giddy about it. I love that you take me to all my doctor's
appointments, and watch the baby I take care of while we're there. I love
that you make me chocolate milk when I'm cranky, and being me ice cream
without me haveing to ask. I love that you have taken complete
responsibility for the dog that I had to have before we found out about the
baby, I love that you haven't once reminded that she is my dog. I love
everything about you. I love you so much, and I can't get enough of you. I
hope you feel the same way.
Thanks TWC. . .you're amazing!
Confession #846
I hate dealing with your anger.
I hate it when you come home ranting about how much you hate your job and how stupid your co-workers are. I feel like you're yelling AT me.
When I try to commiserate and offer suggestions, you snarl and get sarcastic and tell me all the ways my suggestion won't work, all the while implying that I'm stupid.
When I say nothing, you snarl and demand to know why I'm being silent.
When I try to touch you or hug you, you push me away and tell me you can't deal with that right now. So what the fuck am I supposed to do??!
You usually apologize to me later, but frankly, I'm sick and tired of dealing with this. STOP TAKING YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME, YOU PRICK! What you're doing is abusive, and I won't take much more of it!
Confession #847
I had an abortion 18 yrs ago. I never told you.
I think about that baby every day. My heart breaks over what I did. I don't deserve to live.
This is what all the therapy and medications are for. Not for OCD. (another lie....)I made a flippant choice, and I carry it heavy in my heart for the rest of my life.
I'm really sorry.
One day, I hope I can forgive myself.
Confession #848
I honestly don’t think that we are going to make it. I think that last
night was probably the worst fight that we have ever had. We fight all the
time. I’m pretty sure that you don’t love me anymore. I still love you but
I hate how angry I am all the time. If this thing we’re calling a marriage
ends it’ll be both our faults. I get frustrated too easily and scream at
you even though I know that you hate it; I can’t help it. I don’t know how
>to get you to listen. I tell you what I need over and over again but you
just don’t listen, or you don’t remember and I get hurt and frustrated and
angry and start screaming and that isn’t working either. Today I looked
into how much an apartment would run me if I left you. I hope we can work
things out because I love you so much but I can’t handle this much longer
Confession #849
I wear your shirt and sleep on your side of the bed when you're on
deployments just so the pain won't hurt so much when you're gone.
Confession #850
We waited for years to end up together, you and I. Through all our
separate relationships we managed to maintain a wonderful relationship
and always, in the back of my mind, and yours too, there was the
thought that we could end up together.
Well, it happened. You left your girlfriend, I was still single, and we
ended up seeing eachother. Everything was wonderful. We were even
better as a couple than we had been as friends. But after a few weeks,
she came crying and you took her back. It broke my heart, but I knew I
couldn't compete with the time you spent together and the security she
provided. You stopped talking to me completely. I was devastated. It
felt like everything you had told me for MONTHS had been a complete lie.
I'm pregnant. With your baby. I'm only a month in and I've got to make
a choice. You told me to keep it. You said you don't agree with
abortion and would never pass on the chance to bring a baby into this
world. But you can't support a child, and neither can I. I'm still in
school. I haven't finished my degree and I barely make enough to pay my
own bills, nevermind raise a baby. I don't want to do this, but I'm
having an abortion. It goes against everything I believe, EVERYTHING,
but I can't bring a baby into the world knowing what kind of life it
would have. You left me once, you'll leave me again.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the life I'm preventing. I'm sorry for the
pain I'll always feel and the regrets I will carry for the rest of my
life.
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